Saturday, August 30, 2008

Kids write the darndest things

Actual letters from California third graders posted on the wall of this combat outpost:

Dear U.S. Soldiers:
Thank you for helping us to be free and safe. In music class we get to sing funny songs. One song is called the Octopus’ Garden. I hope the war is over soon. From Mary Jane

Dear U.S. Soldiers:
I am in third grade. We are learning multiplication. It is so hard! Here is a joke. How does Elvis pray? Thank you very much! Thank you for fighting for us. From Lea

Dear U.S. Soldiers:
Thanks you for fighting for our country. I live in California. It’s very sunny here. I went to a country club yesterday with my friend and we were playing hide-and-go-seek with my little sister. My friend and I found a hiding spot and my sister never found us. From Nick

Dear U.S. Soldiers:
I am a third grader in California. Thank you for helping us and others to be free and safe. I liked when the Giants won the Super Bowl. My mom won a bet. I forget how much she got. I watched a little bit. From Frank

Dear U.S. Soldiers:
I am very great full that you are saving us and other to have a free and safe land. One time I was at school and we were watching boys play football. Most of them were not very good, so we kept booing. All of the sudden I stood up and my friend Camille pushed me down in front of the game. TMTH! (too much to handle!) From Amanda

They’re in third grade! So it’s thoughtful and hilarious, right?


beth said...

i wish people wrote letters like that to me... think i could plagerize these a bit for my shower thank you notes? these are much more thoughtful than anything i could write.

seriously?! what do you think they were on and where can i find some?!

Phillies are up 5-2 in the bottom of the 9th... hope this doesn't jinx them.

beth said...

phillies won... i'm doin' my best here:)

Slogan Crazy Uncle Joe said...


Well you know what we say about wishes. You can wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which one fills up first.

You should use sloganizer for your thank yous.

I sloganized 'crapping in my hand' from the wish comment and got these beauties..
"I saw crapping in my hand and thought of you"
"Better ingredients, better crapping in my hand"
"I feel like crapping in my hand tonight"
For the senile
"Show me the crapping in my hand"

"The crapping in my hand that eats like a meal"
"Look ma, no crapping in my hand!"

"It's not all crapping in my hand, crapping in my hand, crapping in my hand you know."

And of course, Lighting my farts..
(Who wouldn't want a slogan for that ?)
"Designed for lighting my farts, engineered to last"
"Lighting my farts- Australian for beer."
"I can't believe its not lighting my farts."
"Made in Scotland from lighting my farts" (I think this might be a haggas reference)
"If you like a lot of chocolate on your lighting my farts, join the club." (One club that doesn't need me as a member, no chocolate with lit farts)
For the true romantic
"Every kiss begins with lighting my farts"

I will spend more sloganizer time tonight and keep everyone updated with the best ones. This is important work. I'll work 3rd graders in there somehow.

quindestructible said...

i believe "mary jane" says it all.

leeann said...

My kids write letters to soldiers alot too and some are hysterical! The best was from one of my students last year that said something like this:

Dear Soldier,
How are you? Do you like pie? I like pie. Have a nice day!

Totally random but cracked me up when I read it. Gotta love kids. :)