Looking ahead

As of today, the Phillies are 47-61. Here's a look at what the rest of the season could bring:

If they go 0-54:
--- Final record: 47-115

If they go 23-31:
-- Final record: 70-92

If they go 27-27:
--- Final record: 74-88

If they go 34-20:
--- Final record: 81-81

If they go 43-11:
--- Final record: 90-72

If they go 54-0:
--- Final record: 101-61

Rejected 2014 Eagles-themed fantasy football team names

-- Flying the Cooper
-- Foles rush in
-- Missing-in-action Jackson
-- Chipping away
-- So bad it Ertz
-- Barkley up the wrong tree
-- Bros before Sproles
-- Big Maclin
-- Mark Sanchez sucks

Phillies all-time All-Star roster

1B -- Pete Rose (4 appearances)
2B -- Chase Utley (6 appearances)
SS -- Larry Bowa (5 appearances)
3B -- Mike Schmidt (12 appearances)
RF -- Johnny Callison (3 appearances)
CF -- Richie Ashburn (4 appearances)
LF -- Greg Luzinski (4 appearances)
SP -- Steve Carlton (7 appearances)
RP -- Robin Roberts (5 appearances)

I know putting Roberts as a relief pitcher is cheating, but no Phillies closer has ever had more than one All Star appearance. Besides, given the choice between Tom Gordon and Robin Roberts for the ninth, who are you sending out to the mound?

Futility perspective

Times the Phils have scored five runs in a game over the last two weeks:
--- 2

Times the German soccer team has scored five goals in a game over the last two weeks:
--- 1

I'd give the Phils a 50/50 chance to beat the German futeballers in a 9-inning match.

Soccer's wet blanket

I get that the World Cup is only a snapshot of each team's accomplishments, and that the tournament only comes every four years. But to win over casual skeptics, you do have to consider the following facts:

-- This year, the US played in 4 World Cup games. They won 1.
-- In the last 10 years, the US has played in 9 World Cup games. They've won 2.
-- In the last 20 years, the US has played in 23 World Cup games. They've won 5.

Eight teams have three or more wins this year alone.

I'm not saying the team is regressing, or that it wasn't fun. I'm just saying it's a lot to ask for casual fans to wait another Olympic-long break for the possibility of one more win.