Actual messages hidden in the word lists used in today's first rounds of the national spelling bee.
* Ghastly typographical dilemma exasperates disappointed optimists.
* Bizarre impediment facilitates academic humiliation.
* Compunctious yeanling trafficking requisite sanctimonious exhilaration.
* Uncensored utterance eclipses jubilant zaniness.
* Confusable answerer gesticulates.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Monday, May 28, 2007
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
24, Day 6.1
In case you missed it, here's the paper from the day after this year's 24 ended. Click on the front page to make it bigger.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Lessons learned from trivia night
... at a local bar ... while I was drinking...
1 -- One-third of the residents of Nevada are employed in tourism.
2 -- Sir Frances Drake was know as "the dragon" to his enemies.
3 -- Sober or drunk, I can only name three Dickens novels ("A Tale of Two Cities," "David Copperfield" and "Oliver Twist." Apparently, "A Christmas Carol" is a very long short story.)
4 -- The 80s hair band who performed "When I see you smile" was Bad English.
5 -- Letting the barmaid who's scoring the contest share your french fries does not earn you extra points.
6 -- Yuengling is delicious even if your thinking while drinking.
7 -- If anyone ever asks you who won in Alien vs. Predator, go with Predator, even though it's obvious that Alien won. The Predator didn't make it back to his home planet, right? So he lost. Alien won, no matter what the judge says. And don't let him convince you otherwise.
1 -- One-third of the residents of Nevada are employed in tourism.
2 -- Sir Frances Drake was know as "the dragon" to his enemies.
3 -- Sober or drunk, I can only name three Dickens novels ("A Tale of Two Cities," "David Copperfield" and "Oliver Twist." Apparently, "A Christmas Carol" is a very long short story.)
4 -- The 80s hair band who performed "When I see you smile" was Bad English.
5 -- Letting the barmaid who's scoring the contest share your french fries does not earn you extra points.
6 -- Yuengling is delicious even if your thinking while drinking.
7 -- If anyone ever asks you who won in Alien vs. Predator, go with Predator, even though it's obvious that Alien won. The Predator didn't make it back to his home planet, right? So he lost. Alien won, no matter what the judge says. And don't let him convince you otherwise.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Advice from video games
Today’s episode: Questions sent in by readers answered using commentary by Bob Costas and Harold Reynolds on Triple Play 2002, while controlling the AL All-Stars against the Tampa Bay Devil Rays (final score: 25-0).
Dear AFVG,
What’s the weather supposed to be like tonight? I missed the 5 o’clock news, and I really need to find out.
-- H. Scwartz, Philadelphia
Reynolds: Ooooh, boy! We’ve got a hot one tonight!
Costas: I hear that.
Dear AFVG,
I’m a sports writer who usually covers basketball, but I’ll be doing a little baseball writing this year. Any advice how to pick up on the nuances of the game?
-- S. A. Smith, Philadelphia
Reynolds: Listen to that ball scream AAAEEEEE! That’s outta here.
Costas: Well said. I hear that.
Dear AFVG,
It seems to me that you guys, like all commentators, just say the most obvious things and then repeat it again and again. I don’t really have a question. I just wanted you to know that I hate you.
-- J. Rome, Los Angeles
Costas: That got out of here in a hurry.
Reynolds: You said it. That one got out of here in a hurry.
Dear AFVG,
My teammate has been making trips out late at night and coming home with bloodshot eyes and odd behavior. The other guys think he’s buying pot, but I don’t think coach would allow that. What do you think?
-- T. Romo, Dallas
Reynolds: He grabbed that one and smoked it!
Costas: You said it.
Dear AFVG,
What do you think about Roger Clemens return to baseball? Will this guy be able to be as impressive as he was in the past? Eveyone's a fan of him now, but I wonder if they'll change their mind right away if he struggles.
-- D. Patrick, Bristol
Reynolds: This pitcher is done. They gotta get him out of here.
Costas: And he catches him with the fastball! Strike out, Clemens!
Reynolds: Ooooh, boy! This guy still has great stuff. He’s unbelievable.
Costas: And that about wraps it up. From all of us at EA Sports, good night, folks.
Dear AFVG,
What’s the weather supposed to be like tonight? I missed the 5 o’clock news, and I really need to find out.
-- H. Scwartz, Philadelphia
Reynolds: Ooooh, boy! We’ve got a hot one tonight!
Costas: I hear that.
Dear AFVG,
I’m a sports writer who usually covers basketball, but I’ll be doing a little baseball writing this year. Any advice how to pick up on the nuances of the game?
-- S. A. Smith, Philadelphia
Reynolds: Listen to that ball scream AAAEEEEE! That’s outta here.
Costas: Well said. I hear that.
Dear AFVG,
It seems to me that you guys, like all commentators, just say the most obvious things and then repeat it again and again. I don’t really have a question. I just wanted you to know that I hate you.
-- J. Rome, Los Angeles
Costas: That got out of here in a hurry.
Reynolds: You said it. That one got out of here in a hurry.
Dear AFVG,
My teammate has been making trips out late at night and coming home with bloodshot eyes and odd behavior. The other guys think he’s buying pot, but I don’t think coach would allow that. What do you think?
-- T. Romo, Dallas
Reynolds: He grabbed that one and smoked it!
Costas: You said it.
Dear AFVG,
What do you think about Roger Clemens return to baseball? Will this guy be able to be as impressive as he was in the past? Eveyone's a fan of him now, but I wonder if they'll change their mind right away if he struggles.
-- D. Patrick, Bristol
Reynolds: This pitcher is done. They gotta get him out of here.
Costas: And he catches him with the fastball! Strike out, Clemens!
Reynolds: Ooooh, boy! This guy still has great stuff. He’s unbelievable.
Costas: And that about wraps it up. From all of us at EA Sports, good night, folks.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Draft recap, list style
Top five guys with names that make you giggle
1: Quinn Pitcock, DE, drafted by the Colts in the 3rd
2: Syndric Steptoe, FS, drafted by the Browns in the 7th
3: Mansfield Wrotto, OG, drafted by the Seahawks in the 4th
4: Legedu Naanee, WR, drafted by the Chargers in the 5th
5: Chansi Stuckey, WR, drafted by the Jets in the 7th
Top five guys with football appropriate names
1: Jacob "Defense" Bender, OT, drafted by the Jets in the 6th
2: Kevin "Bring the" Payne, FS, drafted by the Bears in the 5th
3: "No" Gaines Adams, DE, drafted by the Bucs in the 1st
4: Ken "Put 'em in" Shackleford, OT, drafted by the Rams in the 6th
5: Keith "I'm not Keith Jackson" Jackson, DT, drafted by the Rams in the 7th
Top five guys with confusing names
1: Jamaal Anderson, DE, drafted by Falcons in the 1st
He's not this guy.
2: Steve Smith, WR, drafted by the Giants in the 2nd
He's not this guy.
3: Anthony Gonzalez, WR, drafted by the Colts in the 1st
He's not this guy.
4: Chris Henry, RB, drafted by the Titans in the 2nd
He's not this guy.
5: Courtney Brown, CB, drafted by the Cowboys in the 7th
He's not this guy.
Top five guys who would have been a better second-round pick than that stinking QB Kolb the birds took
1: Dwayne Jarrett, WR, drafted by the Panthers in the 2nd
2: John Beck, QB, drafted by the Dolphins in the 2nd
3: Paul Posluszny, LB drafted by the Bills in the 2nd
4: Troy Smith, QB, drafted by the Ravens in the 5th
5: Randy Moss, WR, traded to the Patriots for a 4th
Top five guys I'll use in anagrams next year
1: Uche Nwaneri, OG, drafted by the Jaguars in the 5th
"A chewier nun"
2: Adam Koets, OT, drafted by the Giants in the 6th
"Smoke a tad"
3: Joel Filani, WR, drafted by the Titans in the 6th
"O elf in jail"
4: Prescott Burgess, LB, drafted by the Ravens in the 6th
"Cops err, get busts"
5: Michael Coe, CB, drafted by the Colts in the 5th
"A comic heel"
1: Quinn Pitcock, DE, drafted by the Colts in the 3rd
2: Syndric Steptoe, FS, drafted by the Browns in the 7th
3: Mansfield Wrotto, OG, drafted by the Seahawks in the 4th
4: Legedu Naanee, WR, drafted by the Chargers in the 5th
5: Chansi Stuckey, WR, drafted by the Jets in the 7th
Top five guys with football appropriate names
1: Jacob "Defense" Bender, OT, drafted by the Jets in the 6th
2: Kevin "Bring the" Payne, FS, drafted by the Bears in the 5th
3: "No" Gaines Adams, DE, drafted by the Bucs in the 1st
4: Ken "Put 'em in" Shackleford, OT, drafted by the Rams in the 6th
5: Keith "I'm not Keith Jackson" Jackson, DT, drafted by the Rams in the 7th
Top five guys with confusing names
1: Jamaal Anderson, DE, drafted by Falcons in the 1st
He's not this guy.
2: Steve Smith, WR, drafted by the Giants in the 2nd
He's not this guy.
3: Anthony Gonzalez, WR, drafted by the Colts in the 1st
He's not this guy.
4: Chris Henry, RB, drafted by the Titans in the 2nd
He's not this guy.
5: Courtney Brown, CB, drafted by the Cowboys in the 7th
He's not this guy.
Top five guys who would have been a better second-round pick than that stinking QB Kolb the birds took
1: Dwayne Jarrett, WR, drafted by the Panthers in the 2nd
2: John Beck, QB, drafted by the Dolphins in the 2nd
3: Paul Posluszny, LB drafted by the Bills in the 2nd
4: Troy Smith, QB, drafted by the Ravens in the 5th
5: Randy Moss, WR, traded to the Patriots for a 4th
Top five guys I'll use in anagrams next year
1: Uche Nwaneri, OG, drafted by the Jaguars in the 5th
"A chewier nun"
2: Adam Koets, OT, drafted by the Giants in the 6th
"Smoke a tad"
3: Joel Filani, WR, drafted by the Titans in the 6th
"O elf in jail"
4: Prescott Burgess, LB, drafted by the Ravens in the 6th
"Cops err, get busts"
5: Michael Coe, CB, drafted by the Colts in the 5th
"A comic heel"
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