Full of Soul

A few thoughts on the Soul "breaking" Philly's championship drought:


1 -- Shut up.


2 -- Just so we're clear, I'm in favor of Philly teams winning anything. I'm in favor of Philly being the best at anything. And I'm most assuredly in favor of anything that brings a free Bon Jovi concert to Philly.


3 -- The drought is the big four, OK? (We're still counting hockey because it's awesome). If we're counting minor league/alternative league sports, then there is no Philly drought. Perhaps you forgot:

*** The Villanova Wildcats, who won the NCAA basketball tourney in 1986;
*** The Philadelphia Phantoms, who won the Calder Cup in 1998 and 2004;
*** The Philadelphia Wings, who won National Lacrosse Championship in 1989, 1990, 1994, 1995, 1998, and 2001;
*** The Philadelphia Kixx, who won the Major Indoor Soccer League Championship in 2002 and 2007;
*** The Philadelphia Barrage, who won the Major League Lacrosse Championship in 2004, 2006 and 2007;

So if we start counting outside the big four, Philly has 10 championships in the last decade alone. But we're not. So shut up.


4 -- I'm glad Jaws got a championship. Everyone wants Jaws to have a championship. We just weren't hoping it'd be this one.


5 -- AFL is fun. I'll have to watch more of it next year. It's a good distraction when Adam Eaton is giving up hits left and right. But it's time for real baseball and real football now, so focus. We've got a drought to deal with.

When I was 17 ...

OK, 16, actually.

That’s the last time (1993) the Eagles opened training camp with the Phillies in first place in the NL East. What can we learn from that year?

The Good
-- The Phillies finished with five pitchers who won at least 12 games.
-- The Eagles started the season 4-0.
-- The Phillies held onto first and made the playoffs.
-- Underrated Eagles CB Eric Allen had six picks and four TDs, earning him a Pro Bowl berth.
-- The Phillies whooped the Braves in six games in the NLCS.
-- Even by the end of the season, the Eagles had never employed a Detmer of any kind.

The Bad
-- The Phillies didn’t quite win that World Series.
-- QB Bubby Brister was the leading passer for the Eagles on the season.
-- The Phillies three offensive superstars (Dykstra, Daulton, and Kruk) were never as good in future years.
-- The Eagles finished the season 8-8, out of the playoffs.
-- The Phillies helped popularize the terrible jock jam “Whoot, There It Is.”
-- The Cowboys won the Super Bowl.

The Horribly Prophetic
-- The Phillies star closer (Mitch Williams) blew the World Series for them.
-- The Eagles star QB (Randall Cunningham) went down with a season-ending leg injury.
-- The Phillies lost in the Series in large part because of Pat Gillick (then Blue Jays GM).
-- The Eagles kept their coach (Rich Kottitie) despite his deer-in-the-headlights style.

Home Run Derby recap

I know a lot of folks won’t get the chance to watch tonight’s Home Run Derby, so I’m writing a full recap so you don’t miss a minute of the excitement.

8:06 – Chase Utley is announced, and will bat third. The New York faithful sprinkle a few catcalls in with the cheers. Utley, apparently unaware there are cameras everywhere, yells, “Boos? Fuck you too.”

8:10 – For the third time in less than an hour, John Kruk picks Utley to win the Derby. I get it, ESPN. You love your predictions.

8:12 – Joe Morgan picks Utley too; This worries me. Chris Berman asks him if he likes second basemen so much, why didn’t he pick Roger Hornsby. Maybe because Horsnby has been dead for 45 years.

8:17 – Chris Berman announces, “We’re underway!” ESPN cuts to commercial.

8:21 – Finally, we’re actually underway with the second-best 2B in the NL, Dan Uggla of the Florida Fish.
8:22 – Home Run, Dan Uggla!
8:22:30 – Home Run, Dan Uggla!
8:23 – Home Run, Dan Uggla!
8:24 – Home Run, Dan Uggla!
8:26 – Home Run, Dan Uggla!
8:26:30 – Home Run, Dan Uggla!
8:27 – And he’s done. He posted six dingers, a 414-foot average, and a 437-foot longest blast.

8:28 – OMG, they’re not going to commercial.

8:29 – Next comes CF Grady Sizemore of the Cleveland Wahoos. Allegedly he’s leading the AL in homers, even though Cleveland has only scored 15 runs all season.
8:30 – Home Run, Grady Sizemore!
8:30:30 – Home Run, Grady Sizemore!
8:30:45 – Home Run, Grady Sizemore!
8:32 – Home Run, Grady Sizemore!
8:33 – Home Run, Grady Sizemore!
8:34 – Home Run, Grady Sizemore!
8:35 – And he’s done. Another six dinger score, a 440-foot average, and a 459-foot longest blast.

8:37 – I’m surprised no one has mentioned yet that this is the last year for Yankees stadium.

8:39 – Up comes Evan Longoria, 3B for the Tampa Bay not-Devil-Rays and wife of Spurs Guard Tony Parker.
8:40 – Homer, Evan Longoria!
8:41 – Home… nope, that’s foul.
8:42 – Home… nope, that’s foul.
8:42:30 – Home… nope, that’s foul.
8:43 – Homer, Evan Longoria!
8:43:30 – Home… nope, that’s foul.
8:44 – Homer, Evan Longoria!
8:45 – Wow, he blew. Three dingers, a 419 average and one that somehow went 446. I think they might have mismeasured.

8:46 – Now here’s what we’re waiting for….
8:47 – Chase Utley, you are the man!
8:48 – Chase Utley, you are the man!
8:49 – Chase Utley, you are the man!
8:50 – Chase Utley, you are the man!
8:51 – Chase Utley, you are the man!
8:52 – Ugh (ley). Five isn’t very exciting. I was hoping for 26. And they interviewed stinking 3B David Wright of the New York not Yankees while he was at bat. Official tally: Five dingers, a 402 average and one 434 blast.

8:54 – I’m surprised no one has mentioned at least seven times that this is the last year for Yankees stadium. Berman has only said it six times.

8:57 – Now batting: 87-year-old and three-time HR Derby loser 1B Lance Berkman.
8:58 – The old man goes out of the park!
8:59 – The old man goes out of the park!
8:59:30 – The old man goes out of the park!
8:59:45 – The old man goes out of the park!
9:01 – The old man goes out of the park!
9:01:30 – The old man goes out of the park!
9:01:45 – The old man goes out of the park!
9:02 –The old man goes out of the park!
9:03 – OK, eight dingers, 442 average and a 478 long shot. But he’s still ooooooold.

9:05 – As I watch these replays, I can’t describe to you how much less exciting the home runs are than the eight-year-olds fielding these shots. Against Berkman, some kid speared a homer in the stands. Against Utley, one kid had a sliding grab that got a standing ovation.

9:07 – Stepping in is Twins 1B Justin Morneau, and Rick Riley is complaining that this field is “too white.” He wants Ryan Howard and Albert Pujols here.
9:08 – A four-bagger for Morneau!
9:09 – A four-bagger for Morneau!
9:10 – A four-bagger for Morneau!
9:11 – A four-bagger for Morneau!
9:11:30 – A four-bagger for Morneau!
9:12 – A four-bagger for Morneau!
9:12:30 – A four-bagger for Morneau!
9:13 – A four-bagger for Morneau!
9:14 – Morneau with eight dingers, a 428 average and a 453 long shot. And thanks to the calculator that is ESPN, I’ve learned that both six and eight are more than five, so Chase Utley is eliminated.

9:15 – Milwaukee Brewer LF Ryan Braun is next up, and this is a real crock. How did he get an invite? Name one Milwaukee player known for hitting home runs.
9:16 – Braun goes long!
9:17 – Braun goes long!
9:17:30 – Braun goes long!
9:18 – Braun goes long!
9:18:30 – Oh yeah, Hank Aaron. Right.
9:19 – Braun goes long!
9:19:30 – Braun goes long!
9:20 – Braun goes long!
9:21 – Slow start, but he makes it to the next round. He ends with seven dingers, a 415 average and a 439 long one.

9:23 – I think he made it to the next round. ESPN didn’t tell me if seven was more than six.

9:27 – Up comes everyone’s favorite drug addict, Texas OF John Hamilton. He has promised to hit one out of the stadium, something no one has ever done.
9:28 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!
9:28:30 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!
9:29 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!
9:29:30 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!
9:30 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!
9:30:30 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!
9:31 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!
9:32 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!
9:33 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!
9:34 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!
9:35 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!
9:35:30 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!

9:36 – Wow, Rick Riley actually just said, “This is a new way for him to get high.” Wow.

9:36:30 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!
9:37 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!
9:37:30 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!
9:38 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!
9:39 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!

9:39:30 – Geez, I think the record is 24. Stupid Bobby Abreau.

9:40 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!
9:40:30 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!
9:41 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!
9:41:30 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!
9:42 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!
9:43 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!
9:44 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!
9:45 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!

9:45:30 – Um, the record was 24…

9:46 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!
9:47 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!
9:48 – Crack! Hamilton is high … with that hit!
9:49 – Wow. That was un-freakin-believable. 28 dingers, a bunch of them over 500 feet. A 445-foot average, and a long of 518 feet. Total distance of those homers: Just over two miles…

9:50 – Erin Andrews just interviewed Hamilton’s 71-year-old American Legion coach, who throws batting practice for him and was the pitcher for that ridiculous display. Poor guy had to throw 56 pitches. Both men are beaming, but the geezer can barely hold his arm up.

9:52 – And that was a great ending to this scheduled two-hour event. Hamilton better stay sober, because he was the feel-good story of baseball before tonight, and is only gonna be hyped even more now. But that kid had Yankee stadium jumping up and down.

9:55 – Wait, there are two more rounds of this?

9:57 – As we start the second round … ah, screw it. I’m calling Hamilton the winner and changing the channel.

A trip to the money pit

I attended my yearly Phillies loss this weekend -- pics are up here.

Chicks dig the long ball

Sorry -- I'm chart happy this week.

Don't panic?

Days Phillies spent in first place in 2007: 2
Days Phillies have spent in first place in 2008: 36

In fact, the Phils haven't trailed in the NL East since May. Remind me again why I'm panicking?

Oh, right. And this too.

UPDATE, 10:20pm: Make that 37 days

Reasons for the Phils' slide

What's ailing the boys in red, according to recent analysis from 610 WIP:

-- Donovan McNabb
-- Donovan McNabb's parents
-- Donovan McNabb's inability to complete short passes
-- Donovan McNabb's inability to work with other superstars
-- Utley's inability to hit curveballs (because of McNabb)
-- Andy Reid

Alternate jobs for Mr. One-for-Six

Currently Phils first baseman is second in the league in Home Runs but batting under .220. He has more RBI (62) than hits (60). Ever wonder what he'll do if this baseball thing doesn't work out?

If Ryan were your mailman ...
No mail would be delivered on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday.
Every Friday, you'd receive a check from Publisher's Clearing House.

If Ryan went to Hollywood ...
He'd get bit parts in the next four installments of the Police Academy series.
Then he'd get an Oscar for his interpretation of Richard III.

If Ryan were a brewmaster ...
The first five beers of every six pack would be Pabst Blue Ribbon.
The sixth in each one would be Yuengling Premium.

If Ryan manned this blog ...
The first five posts every month would blow.
The sixth would be hilarious.
OK, so not much would change there.

Questionable math

Somebody explain this formula to me, will ya?



It's the only way this makes sense.

Too bad he can't afford a soul

How the biggest jerk in the NFL plans to spend that $34 million in blood money:

$600 for a replica Super Bowl ring (closest he'll get to a real one)


$4.95 for a days of the week pill box



$1.7 million for a new car to compensate for, um, stuff



$3.00 for premium popcorn



$12.49 for his best-selling jersey



$15 for video of the last time the 'boys won a playoff game



$1,000 in an effort to cover the stench of his rotting heart



$5,999.99 for 1,000 unused (and unwanted) T.O towels

Happy 31st, G

As always, G-money's mail seems to end up at Fort Awesome around this time of year:

Calculate your suffering

In case you missed it, both Sports Illustrated and the Inky had stories about Philly passing its 100th season since the city's last championship with the Flyers loss yesterday. The SI list hits the top 10 pretty well too, absolutely nailing the worst moment of the drought (yeah, that game).

But with all due respect to those fine publications, the NHL didn't have a season in 2004. So that puts the drought at 99 seasons, including one strike-shortened baseball season where no one won a championship.

Still, it was nice to see someone put this chart up so I could appreciate Boston's pain.

Checking the trends

No Philly sports today!

Thanks to two playoff runs at the Wachovia Center and several scheduling quirks, today is the first time in 47 consecutive days (March 26, for those who want to check the math) that the Phillies, Flyers or Sixers aren't suiting up and competing against someone. And if you want to include the Phils spring training games, today is the first time in 78 days (Feb. 24) that there are no Philly scores to check on.

I can't imagine that's any sort of record -- in the fall, all four teams are playing at the same time, at least with pre-season games -- but it is a nice chance to calm down for a day.

Although, I had to see that stupid "T.O. acting" report all day, so my blood pressure is still up pretty high.

Getting ready for tonight

In case you forgot that tonight's Flyers game is against a true rival, here's a quick look at the history of bad blood between Pittsburgh and Philly:

1939 – The Philadelphia Eagles upend the Pittsburgh Steelers, 17-14, in the first-ever game Thanksgiving Day game for both teams. On radio, the play-by-play is handled by a then 60-years-young Myron Cope.

1947 – The Pittsburgh Ironmen finish their first and only basketball season with a 15-45 record. The Philadelphia Warriors finish their inaugural season that year as well, but it takes them seven more years before posting their first 40-loss campaign.

1953 – After the Eagles sweep their season series against the Steelers with a pair of double-digit victories, a distraught Jonas Salk unsuccessfully tries to find a cure for sports despair in his University of Pittsburgh lab, but instead stumbles upon a polio vaccine. He later neglects to thank Philadelphia for the inspiration.

1976 – Rocky, the story of an underdog boxer whose life reflects his hometown's inspirational spirit, wins the Academy Award for Best Picture. Pittsburgh attempts it's own theatrical reflection of itself later the same year -- Dawn of the Dead hits theater screens in 1978.

1987 – 3B Mike Schmidt hits his 500th home run – a 9th inning, game winner – in Pittsburgh to push the Phils over the Pirates 8-6. The Pirates have not won a game since.

2000 – In the third longest game in NHL history, the Flyers take the Penguins into five overtimes before Philly C Keith Primeau nets the game-winner over the shoulder of Pittsburgh G Ron Tugnutt. Philly fans celebrate in gentlemanly fashion by declining to go for the easy Tugnutt notes.

2002 – Former Philadelphia mayor Ed Rendell is elected governor of Pennsylvania despite carrying only six counties in the state’s democratic primary. Shortly thereafter, all official state maps are reworked to close the PA border 30 miles further east, assigning Pittsburgh as part of West Virginia.

2007 – Temple researchers discover populated areas located in the 300-mile no-man's-zone between Pittsburgh and Philadelphia. No one cares.

Posting problems

Folks -- hoping you can help me out. Every time I try and throw something up on this site about the Flyers, I get this error message:



Any idea what that's about?

Phils finish April over .500

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thankyou

Future promise

A closer look at the Eagles 2008 draft picks:

Trevor Laws
DT, Notre Dame, 2nd Round
Reaction from everyone at the Draftsgiving party: “Wow, a D-lineman? That’s a surprise. At least Notre Dame had a great year last year.”

DeSean Jackson
WR/KR, California, 2nd Round
I’m not going to talk about him – I’m afraid if we make too much noise Andy will notice that he drafted a fast wideout with ball handling skills and immediately trade him away.

Bryan Smith
DE, McNeese State, 3rd Round
Here’s the ESPN description of Smith: “He is vastly undersized for a defensive end, so teams will look to run at him and exploit that weakness when he's on the field. As a result, he's probably never going to be an every-down player.” Sounds great to me.

Michael McGlynn
OG, Pittsburgh, 4th Round
Six-foot-four, 311 pounds is still just an appetizer for Andy’s insatiable offensive lineman appetite.

Quintin Demps
FS, Texas El-Paso, 4th Round
Demps was the best safety available in the draft this year. Don’t believe me? Two years ago, while still in college, Eagles QB Kevin Kolb threw only four picks during his senior season. Demps had two of those interceptions. And we know Da Birds think Kolb is awesome, so Demps is at least half as great as he is.

Jack Ikegwuonu
CB, Wisconsin, 4th Round
A quick timeline of the life of Jackie I:
-- He catches the eyes of scouts with a tremendous sophomore season
-- He’s arrested with his brother and charged with felony theft for an alleged robbery
-- He has a sub-par junior season but decides to enter the draft anyway
-- He blows out his ACL and MCL while training, and won’t play in 2008
-- He hires Drew Rosenhaus as an agent
Why, oh why, did the Eagles draft him again?

Michael Gibson
OG, California, 6th Round
He was brought in solely to translate for DeSean from California to East Coast. “Ohmigawd” turns into “Yo” and “Fajitas” means “Cheesesteaks.”

Joe Mays
LB, North Dakota State, 6th Round
The Eagles draft defensive ends to play linebacker, so I can only assume that Mays was drafted to play cornerback or shortstop or something.

Andrew Studebaker
DE, Wheaton, 6th Round
The Wheaton Thunder beat powerhouses like Albion, Hope, Millikin and Elmhurst, but their bid for an undefeated season ended when they lost their final two games against Carthage and Illinois Wesleyan. But with that kind of competition, he’s clearly ready to face the Giants and Cowboys.

King Dunlap
OT, Auburn, 7th Round
Dude is 6-foot-9 and has already been named the Sixers starting power forward next season. So I'm not making fun of him for being named after a set of luxury tires.

36 hours of bliss

I hope you were paying attention this weekend, because we got to experience a rarity in Philadelphia sports: 36 straight hours of unadulterated, positive news.

Friday, 9:30 p.m. -- The Sixers put the finishing touches on a 20-point drubbing of the second-seeded Pistons in the biggest upset of the NBA playoffs this year.

Friday, 10 p.m. -- Phillies closer Brad Lidge pitches a perfect ninth inning to stop a Pirates comeback and lead the good guys to a 6-5 victory.

Saturday, 10 a.m. -- Eagles CB Lito Sheppard still not traded.

Saturday, 3 p.m. -- Awesome Cup champion Kid SmartyPants arrives at the annual Draftsgiving party in an Eagles shirt, in a bid to share his winning touch with the team.

Saturday, 5 p.m. -- In lieu of picking an O-lineman, the Eagles trade their first-round pick to Carolina for their 2009 first-rounder and two more 2008 picks.

Saturday, 7:15 p.m. -- Phillies 1B Ryan Howard hits a first-inning, two-run homer to break out of a personal slump and help lead the Phils to a 8-4 victory.

Saturday, 8 p.m. -- Two picks after drafting yet another defensive tackle, the Eagles draft WR/KR DeSean Jackson, who was projected to go hours earlier.

Saturday, 10 p.m. -- The Flyers finish off their upset win over the top-seeded Canadiens, their first win this season over Montreal.

Sunday, 12 a.m. -- Eagles CB Lito Sheppard still not traded.

Sunday, 10:30 a.m. -- ESPN announces the Eagles in the third-round drafted DE Bryan Smith, a player "vastly undersized for a defensive end," thus ending the string of good news.

But if you were going to ask for nothing but good news for Philly teams, you couldn't pick a better day than Draftsgiving.

Draftsgiving trivia

It's that time of year, kids -- Are you ready?

1. Draftsgiving is that special time of year when:

We wish it was November already
We celebrate football and actually believe next year won't make us miserable
Holy crap -- It's draft time already?


2. This year the NFL draft stars at:

Are you sure it's draft time already?
3 p.m.
3 p.m., but we're still drinking at 11:55 a.m.


3. The Eagles most likely first round pick will be:

A defensive lineman
An offensive lineman
LB J. Leman out of Illinois


4. Eagles beloved CB Lito Sheppard will likely be traded for:

A wideout
A chance to move up three spots in the first round
S Bobby Taylor


5. WR Chad Johnson will likely end up on draft day with:

The Cowboys
The Eagles? Really? But c'mon....
No one


6. Proper attire for Draftsgiving is:

A Lito Sheppard jersey
A Brian Dawkins jersey
A Na Brown jersey


7. The time between first round draft picks will be cut from:

15 minutes to 10 minutes
Too long to a little quicker
Boring to fun


8. One trade to make the Eagles a real threat is:

WR Javon Walker
2B Chase Utley
KR James Thrash


9. The one thing always on the Draftsgiving menu is:

Steak
More Steak
Dolphins


10. A good reason to skip celebrating Draftsgiving is:

Real football involves a pitch
I'm laid up in the hospital, but I'll still have a beer
I hate freedom

Scoring:
19-20 points -- Indianapolis Colts
12-18 points -- Tennessee Titans
7-11 points --- Philadelphia Eagles
1-6 points ---- Washington Redskins
Zero points --- Minnesota Vikings

Footbaaaaalllllll

Eagles schedule is out today; Here's what it looks like:

Week 1 ---- Sunday, Sep 7 ---- vs Rams ---- 100pm
Last time they played the Rams on opening day, Eagles FB Cecil Martin had two TD catches … and Philly lost in OT.

Week 2 ---- Monday, Sep 15 ---- at Cowboys ---- 830pm
McNabb is 6-2 his last eight trips into the belly of the beast.

Week 3 ---- Sunday, Sep 21 ---- vs Steelers ---- 415pm
The inter-state rivalry hasn't taken place in Philly since 1997, even though the Eagles have played in Pitt twice since then. How come?

Week 4 ---- Sunday, Sep 28 ---- at Bears ---- 815pm
Maybe this year it'll only be a 90-yard game losing TD drive ...

Week 5 ---- Sunday, Oct 5 ---- vs DC ---- 100pm
The racial slurs' best record in the last decade? 10-6 in 1999.

Week 6 ---- Sunday, Oct 12 ---- at 49ers ---- 415pm
Who are you more excited to see: S Michael Lewis or QB Trent Dilfer?

Week 7 ---- Bye
That's a loss.

Week 8 ---- Sunday, Oct 26 ---- vs Falcons ---- 100pm
Now starting at QB ... Jeff George? Would it be worse?

Week 9 ---- Sunday, Nov 2 ---- at Seahawks ---- 415pm
That’s the fifth time in eight years they’ll play Seattle; They’re 2-2 so far.

Week 10 ---- Sunday, Nov 9 ---- vs Giants ---- 815pm
The Iggles don't play their closest rival until November -- Eli should be in full INT form by then.

Week 11 ---- Sunday, Nov 16 ---- at Bengals ---- 100pm
Prediction: After the game, Cincy WR Chad Johnson tries to sneak out of town on the Eagles' bus.

Week 12 ---- Sunday, Nov 23 ---- at Ravens ---- 100pm
This will be McNabb’s first game playing against his old team. Wait, they didn’t trade him to Baltimore? But ESPN said … nevermind.

Week 13 ---- Thursday, Nov 27 ---- vs Cardinals ---- 815pm
Da Birds are 3-1 on Thanksgiving, including a 27-0 shutout of the Cowboys in 1989.

Week 14 ---- Sunday, Dec 7 ---- at Giants ---- 100pm
Pearl Harbor Day up in New York. Nice.

Week 15 ---- Monday, Dec 15 ---- vs Browns ---- 830pm
I’m getting my "TO has BO sign" ready for this game, because it was them edumecated Browns fans who broke it out for the first time in 2004.

Week 16 ---- Sunday, Dec 21 ---- at DC ---- 100pm
Worst stadium I've ever been in, hands down. And I watched a little league game in Chile last week.

Week 17 ---- Sunday, Dec 28 ---- vs Cowboys ---- 100pm
Why must the NFL always ruin the holidays by scheduling an Eagles/Cowboys game in late December?

That's a weird schedule, kids; one back-to-back road trip, no back-to-back home games all year long. Right now you could convince me they're going 12-4 or 4-12, which sounds disturbingly like another 8-8 season.

Buying souvenirs

When you're buying souvenirs, you want to avoid getting something cheap and crappy and find a keepsake that says something about where you were, what the local culture stands for, and adds value to your home.

What I'm saying is, this tidbit I picked up in Ecuador is the perfect souvenir:



$1.50 from a street vendor. All the subtitles are in Spanish, and I'm not sure the whole movie is there, but how can you go wrong?

Only in ... Santiago?

From a Chilean Little League game yesterday, looking down the first base line.



OK, so he's an American who was born in South Philly, but still....

An excerpt from my book

Titled 'my life and times' and scheduled for release in 2030...

Two years earlier I had celebrated America's birthday by watching Italy play soccer at a Mexican restaurant in Germany. But as I stood there in Chile, with a dozen local children packed into a C17 while a group of Air National Guardsmen butchered 'Sweet child of mine' on some acoustic guitars, I realized my work had ceased to make any sense.

I'm traveling again, kids. I'll post more when I can, but internet options are iffy.

Looking ahead to Monday

That's two winning starts for the Fightin's in the last 11 years.

Please, guys, be kind this year. I'm begging you.

Field of 64, birds style ... again

Since it's that time of year again, and since last year's bracket went over so well, here's a look back at the Eagles' 2007 season in NCAA style. Click the picture to view the results.


Frankly, I'm a little upset Koy couldn't defend his crown.

Just a few days left

Things I'm looking forward to in the NCAA tournament

Austin Peay




Trying to remember where Gonzaga is




Hoping that Duke G Luke Davidson gets to play Davidson College and that the play-by-play announcer's head explodes




Notre Dame F Luke Harangody (although he's no Pitsnogle)




Thinking of good Winthrop jokes




Rooting against Xaiver for no good reason (freaking Musketeers)




Obligatory references to former Providence G God Shamgod




Oral Roberts

All of us cried a little

A quick look at tomorrow's front page from one of my favorite publications:

Sports Oscars

Once again those snobs in Hollyweird held their annual movie lovefest and snubbed the entire field of great sports films released in 2007. Since no one else seems to want to honor the real art of last year, I’ll take it upon myself.

(Please note – all awards were handed out on the basis of these films' trailers, as I have not seen any of them).

2008 Academy Awards of Sports Flicks

Best Actor
Nominees: Columbus Short, Stomp the Yard; Nick Cage, Ghost Rider; Dwayne Johnson, The Game Plan; Will Ferrell, Blades of Glory
       Know the plot of “The Game Plan”? Johnson, the all-Pro Boston QB, finds out he has a kid out of wedlock, which complicates his relationship with his model girlfriend. That’s the kind of outside-the-box character that deserves an award. Also, the QB gets injured in the championship game. If only …
Winner: Johnson

Best Actress
Nominees: None
       Until somebody makes another sports movie that stars a woman, the award stays with the last champ. Three years running, with no serious contenders …
Winner: Hilary Swank, Million Dollar Baby

Best Supporting Actor
Nominees: Carl Weathers, The Comebacks; Christopher Walken, Balls of Fury; Billy Bob Thorton, Mr. Woodcock; Jorma Taccone, Hot Rod
       Walken is barely even in the trailer, but I’m not going to snub him even in jest on the off chance he ever comes across this website. Dude scares me. If you piss him off, he might prank you with a tire iron …
Winner: Walken

Best Supporting Actress
Nominees: Susan Sarandon, Mr. Woodcock; Ilsa Fisher, Hot Rod; Jena Fisher, Blades of Glory; Jon Heder, Blades of Glory
       Look at that picture again and tell me you didn’t think Napoleon Dynamite there was a woman. That’s what I thought …
Winner: Heder

Best Animated Movie
Nominees: Surf’s Up
       Only one nominee, a happy cartoon about a penguin surfing competition. But I’m going against it -- If the academy can decide that 10-years-in-the-waiting Simpsons movie isn’t even worth an animated film nomination, I can name it the best cartoon sports film with just as much credibility …
Winner: The Simpsons Movie

Best Documentary Film
Nominees: The Final Season, The Comebacks
       “The Final Season” is a heartwarming story about an Iowa high school baseball team’s last at bat, but “The Comebacks” is about the tragedy that can happen when no-talent hacks try to tackle both sports and comedy. It’s one of those movies that everyone should watch, lest we fail to learn from our mistakes.
Winner: The Comebacks

Best Picture
Nominees: The Game Plan, Blades of Glory, Balls of Fury, Mr. Woodcock, The Comebacks
       Let’s face it – if you missed “Pride”, the inspirational story of a Philly swim team overcoming adversity, you missed the only sports movie that tried to be respectable this year. So I’m guessing you spent more time watching actual sports, which is better in the end. So in the end, who really won?
Winner: All of us filmgoers (unless you saw Mr. Woodcock)

Worst sports store in America

Found in El Paso today ...




Aren't there supposed to be Cowboys fans out here?

Surprise Flyers news

In case you missed it:

     (AHN) -- Flyers forward Simon Gagne downplayed his third concussion this season and on Monday dismissed speculations that he is shelved for the remainder of the year.
     "There is no reason I can't come back and help lead this team to the World Series," Gagne said in an interview with the Philadelphia Inquirer. "It's just like J-Roll said -- we're the team to beat."
     The 27-year-old former first-round pick first sustained a concussion in October 24 then suffered the same injury on November 5. The two injuries forced Gagne to miss a total of 30 games.
     "I've already missed enough of this season, and I just need to get back on the gridiron and do my job," he said. "The doctors are telling me there could be problems, but I don't know the meaning of the word.
     "Seriously, what does that mean?"
     The Quebec native reported problem-free on January 10 until he had another concussion on Sunday, when he was hit by Penguins' forward Jordan Staal. Gagne expressed hope that his third bout with the injury will not force him as much games as before.
     "You can't tell me that I'll be ready to be doing to be ready when I'm not if I am," Gagne said. "Seriously. For real. Can I borrow a candy bar?"
     Gagne has played all his eight seasons with Philadelphia. He has seven goals and 11 assists in 25 games this season and has a career 208 goals in 527 games since he debuted in 1999.
     "There's no stopping the Flyers from bringing home the Lombardi trophy," he said. "Book it. You can Paris Hilton that to the bank."

Pro-Bowl preview

The NFL has always had a problem getting its top players to attend the annual Pro Bowl in Hawaii, but this year’s absences are even more notable than usual (Deceased Washington S Sean Taylor, Chargers RB LaDanian Tomlinson, Patriots QB Tom Brady). So what excuses are they giving for not making the trip?

Dolphins DE Jason Taylor won’t be there because Miami is already down 10-0 in next season’s opener.

Patriots QB Tom Brady won’t be there because he’s a baby.

Eagles S Brian Dawkins won’t be there because he was not selected to the roster (for only the second time since 2000.) He will, however, still get a sack.

The Cowboys player who has a playoff win this decade won’t be there because he doesn’t exist.

Patriots WR Randy Moss won’t be there because he’s under house arrest (probably).

Bills OT Jason Peters won’t be there because Buffalo’s airport has eight feet of snow atop it instead of the usual seven.

49ers P Andy Lee will be there, but nobody cares about punters.

Raiders DT Warren Sapp won’t be there because … hold on, he’s still playing?

Saints RB Reggie Bush won’t be there because it’s a football game, not a track meet.

Giants QB Eli Manning won’t be there because they only pick good quarterbacks for the game, not lucky ones.

Stupidest things I've heard this week

And it's only Thursday ...

"The team that makes fewer mistakes in this game is going to be the winner." -- Mike Tirico, ESPN (submitted by Jeff)
        Said just hours before the Super Bowl, when just about everything obvious had already been exhausted. And yet somehow Tirico was both insipid and incorrect; The Giants had more interceptions, more fumbles (but fewer lost fumbles), more penalty yards and gave up more return yards, but still won the game.

"This was Rocky Balboa against Apollo Creed, when the champ was unbeatable. Parade planned, book ready to go to print about their unbeaten Super Bowl season and then they met someone tougher." -- Paul Zimmerman, SI.com
        Forget that he called this the greatest Super Bowl of all time (nice long memory there, Z). Maybe you need to go back and watch your classic movies again. Rocky lost.

"Eli Manning deserves the MVP award." -- Countless sportswriters            Look, it was a big upset, OK? Let's not go crazy. Eli had a good day, punctuated by a game-saving catch by his fourth-string WR and non-game winning interceptions by two different Pats who had passes hit their palms on that final drive. David Tyree (that wideout) and DE Justin Tuck had better games and deserved the extra paycheck. Manning was the 25th rated QB in the regular season, and four good games gets you a ring but not equal billing with Peyton.
        You can say he's the best QB in the NFL 100 times, but it's not gonna make it true. (Hi, Seth!)

Liveblogging the big game

Here’s my take on Today’s Super Bowl, as it unfolds:

3:00 pm – I’m confused why the game is starting so early, but here’s the opening whistle and it’s on! I wonder what happened to the next three hours of nonsense that was supposed to be on.

3:04 pm – The Giants have the ball and should be furious with the refs: Patriots S Rodney Harrison just bit QB Eli Manning in the ear, then tossed him upside down. No flag. Way to have the A crew calling the game, NFL.

3:05 pm – Speaking of calling the game, I’m surprised that Harry Kalas is the announcer. Where is Joe Buck? Troy Aikman? I’m not complaining, but something about this game just seems really off.

3:07 pm – Now LB Mike Vrabel is biting Manning, and the refs still aren’t doing anything! Unbelievable. Manning just bit him back, right on the hairy scruff of his neck. Good for him. He still has that vacant look on his face though – you’d think this rough play would wake him up a little.

3:10 pm – Giants DE Michael Strahan looks better with a beard (a really full one too) but the dog collar seems like a bit much to me. Eli seems to be wearing one too, but he looks the same as every other game day.

3:11 pm – Sorry, kids; Jo just came in and said this was the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet, not the Super Bowl. I thought Strahan looked surprisingly good. And the Patriots defense doesn’t usually bite that much in the first quarter. My bad.