Pro-Bowl preview

The NFL has always had a problem getting its top players to attend the annual Pro Bowl in Hawaii, but this year’s absences are even more notable than usual (Deceased Washington S Sean Taylor, Chargers RB LaDanian Tomlinson, Patriots QB Tom Brady). So what excuses are they giving for not making the trip?

Dolphins DE Jason Taylor won’t be there because Miami is already down 10-0 in next season’s opener.

Patriots QB Tom Brady won’t be there because he’s a baby.

Eagles S Brian Dawkins won’t be there because he was not selected to the roster (for only the second time since 2000.) He will, however, still get a sack.

The Cowboys player who has a playoff win this decade won’t be there because he doesn’t exist.

Patriots WR Randy Moss won’t be there because he’s under house arrest (probably).

Bills OT Jason Peters won’t be there because Buffalo’s airport has eight feet of snow atop it instead of the usual seven.

49ers P Andy Lee will be there, but nobody cares about punters.

Raiders DT Warren Sapp won’t be there because … hold on, he’s still playing?

Saints RB Reggie Bush won’t be there because it’s a football game, not a track meet.

Giants QB Eli Manning won’t be there because they only pick good quarterbacks for the game, not lucky ones.