Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Too bad he can't afford a soul

How the biggest jerk in the NFL plans to spend that $34 million in blood money:

$600 for a replica Super Bowl ring (closest he'll get to a real one)

$4.95 for a days of the week pill box

$1.7 million for a new car to compensate for, um, stuff

$3.00 for premium popcorn

$12.49 for his best-selling jersey

$15 for video of the last time the 'boys won a playoff game

$1,000 in an effort to cover the stench of his rotting heart

$5,999.99 for 1,000 unused (and unwanted) T.O towels

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