2010 fantasy recap, week 5

Roy Halladay got all the attention for his no-hitter to open the playoffs last Wednesday, but his was not the only no-hitter of note last week. Here's a look at some of the others:

** Reds 3B Scott Rolen: Two no hitters, in games 1 and 2 of the series (0 for 7, with 5 Ks)
** Eagles DT Trevor Laws: No tackles in Sunday's game against the 49ers
** NBC: Network didn't have a single non-sports program in the top 20 watched shows last week.
** Reds P Nick Massett: Only Reds reliever not to hit any batters in game 2.
** Phillies P Joe Blanton: Allowed no hits (in zero appearances).

QB: Tony Romo, 29.14 pts – started by Heidi
RB: Matt Forte, 32.07 pts – started by Jo
WR: Hakeem Nicks, 32.67 pts – started by Bobert
TE: Marcedes Lewis, 19.60 pts – sitting on ChampMike’s bench
K: Josh Scobee, 22.50 pts – started by NewMike
DEF: Oakland, 36.00 pts – sitting on the wire
D: Quintin Mikell, 14.50 pts – sitting on the wire

Another week without a single QB breaking the 30-point barrier, and another week where a defense was the top point getter. Weird. Just weird.

"Really bad QBs" edition
3rd place: Jake Delhomme, -0.12 pts -- sitting on the wire
2nd place: Matt Moore, -2.60 pts -- sitting on the wire
1st place: Todd Collins, -6.72 pts -- sitting on the wire

A little more analysis: On Sunday, you had a 39.6 QB rating (zero of 1 for zero yards). Delhomme was 12 of 23 for 97 yards with 2 INT (a 30.5 rating). Moore was 5 of 10 for 35 yards with 2 INT (an 18.8 rating). Collins was 6 of 16 for 32 yards with 4 INT (an incredible 6.2 rating, six times worse than you).

In all my time doing recaps I can't remember a fantasy score worse than Collins posted Sunday. It should be noted that he also had a negative score last week (-0.52 pts), meaning in the last two weeks you've been worth seven more fantasy points than him. That's a full touchdown and extra point, for anyone scoring at home.

FYI, Heidi started the St. Louis defense this week, which was worth -5.00 pts. That ain't good.

** For the season the Broncos have more penalty yards (329) than rushing yards (259). Despite that, at 2-3 they're tied for second place in their division.

** For the season the Bears have the 9th-worst pass offense and the 8th-worst rush offense in the league. Naturally, they also have the best record in the league at 4-1.

** For the season the Cardinals have allowed 50 more points than they've scored, the third-worst point differential in the league. But the team is still 3-2 and leading their division.

** For the season the Patriots have the worst field goal percentage and have only four punt returns. Of course, they are the top scoring team per game in the league, with 32.5 points per contest.

Analysis: Everyone in the NFL sucks, except for the 0-5 Bills, the 0-5 Panthers and the 0-5 49ers. They super suck.

NBC commentator Chris Collinsworth on Sunday actually said Eagles QB Kevin Kolb was running the Eagles offense "like Joe Montana," then later said 49ers QB Alex Smith ran the two-minute drill "the same way Joe Montana would do it." Kolb is the 19th-rated passer in the league, Smith the 27th, but apparently Collingsworth thinks either could win four Super Bowls tomorrow.

However, those comments weren't quite as stupid as the analysis following Roy Halladay's no-hitter last week.

On the700level.com, commenter KennyH wrote that "To me, there is no question that was the greatest pitching performance in Phils history. Anyone disagree?" To recap, this was the second no-hitter in MLB post-season history. Does KennyH really think he's going out on a limb with this? Is someone arguing that the two-run, six inning appearance by P Joe Blaton in 2008 was better than a no-hitter?

But the Delaware County Times managed to top even that, with a story titled "Halladay's no-hitter is a hit with area bars." Apparently, a lot of Philly sports fans were happy following the no-hitter. I never would have guess that if not for this Pulitzer expose.

** The Twins have now lost 12 straight playoff games, including nine in a row to the Yankees. So, thanks for giving New York the easiest first round possible their last three trips to the post-season, Minnesota.

** All that snow from last winter? It came from Minnesota. The average high there in January doesn't break 20 degrees C. The record low there was -60 degrees, set in 1996. That's not normal, Minnesota.

** The Vikings players and fans straight-up begged QB Brett Favre to come back this year. Since then, he's played terrible and gotten embroiled in a sex scandal. The site Deadspin.com last week posted alleged pictures of his ... um ... private areas. Thanks for that image, Minnesota.

** F. Scott Fitzgerald, the author of The Great Gatsby, is from Minnesota. That book is terrible. Thanks a lot, jerks.

** In 2007 the Timberwolves traded F Kevin Garnett to the Celtics for a high draft pick and spare parts. Since then the Wolves have won 61 games in three seasons, while the Celtics have won one championship and had another finals appearance. Thanks for giving Boston that much-needed lift, Minnesota.

** They still employ WR Greg Lewis.

The Cowboys lost again this week, dropping them to 1-3 on the season. This has shocked many national pundits, but a closer look at the players shows this should have been expected. Just look at their new fullback, for example:

New Dallas Fullback Chris Gronkowski
** Droll hacks: Sucking is all we know. Barf. **

I feel like he should have a more positive outlook. It might help them win a few more games.

Click on the image below to make it bigger.

Huge weeks for ChampMike, Bob and Joanna – all three topped 150 pts, and ChampMike hit 175. But that wasn’t quite enough to wrest first place away from me just yet. Only 11 points separate the top three, and the difference between first place and eighth place is still less than 100 points. So everyone still has a chance.

Except Anthony.

** Romo got a win on Sunday. No, not Tony Romo -- his Cowboys lost. But around the same time Giants P Sergio Romo got a win for his club over the Braves, mostly by not throwing three interceptions to the opposing team.

** I finally picked up a game on Dad, so I'm only down three on the year. But, if we're just counting weeks won, both of us have a record of 1-1, with three ties. So, in that sense, I've already caught up.

** Just for fun this week, on an old copy of Madden for the PS2, I tried to trade Randy Moss for a third-round draft pick. The game rejected that as too absurd. And I though those games were supposed to be realistic...

** The Philadelphia reunion continues this week, with Pat Burrell returning to Citizens Bank Park with the Giants on Saturday. Remember, earlier this year, the Philly crowd applauded Burrell's homecoming, and he promptly hit a home run in response. A few weeks later, Jim Thome returned to Philadelphia, was applauded in his first at-bat back, and promptly hit a home run in response. I'm a big Burrell fan, but let's not cheer when he comes up to the plate this time, OK?

2010 fantasy recap, week 4

The MLB playoffs start tomorrow, and the two-time reigning NL champion Phillies will face off against the Cincinnati Reds. Here's a quick look at some notables on their roster:

** P Johnny Cueto: Cuban lefty has a widely publicized triple-digit fastball and a far less publicized quintuple-digit right foot.

** 1B Joey Votto: Despite likely winning the MVP this season, the only time his name is ever mentioned is when Ryan Howard's new contract is being ridiculed for being too expensive.

** P Homer Bailey: Despite the name, he has never hit a major league home run.

** 3B Scott Rolen: Traitorous piece of crap will probably whine within minutes of setting foot in Philadelphia again.

** SS Joseph Stalin: Communist dictator blamed for 60 million deaths was also the inspiration for the Reds name. Probably.

** CF Drew Stubbs: You can't spell the name of the team's strikeout leader without "busted."

QB: David Garrard, 28.92 pts -- sitting on Jim's bench
RB: Arian Foster, 31.83 pts -- started by Joel
WR: Terrell Owens, 30.80 -- started by Bobert
TE: Antonio Gates, 28.60 pts -- started by NewMike
K: Jason Hanson, 17.00 pts -- sitting on the wire
DEF: New England, 39.00 pts -- sitting on my bench
D: Shaun Phillips, 19.50 pts -- sitting on the wire

Don't feel too bad for Jim and me. He started the #2 defense on the week (San Diego, 31.00 pts) and I had the #2 RB on the week (LaDanian Tomlinson, 29.77 pts).

Wait, you didn't feel bad for us? Screw you, then.

"Former Pro Bowl players" edition
3rd place: Marshawn Lynch, -1.20 pts -- sitting on the wire
2nd place: Derek Anderson, -1.44 pts -- sitting on the wire
1st place: Jay Cutler, -2.32 pts -- sitting on Dad's bench

Cutler was sacked nine times in the first half of the Bear's Sunday night loss to the Giants, lost the ball twice and passed for only 42 yards. Things didn't get better for Chicago when Cutler left the game with a concussion -- His backup, Todd Collins, had one pick against 36 yards passing and was worth -0.56 fantasy points.


E-Mail from G, Sep 30 12:24 pm:
I shared your blog with a couple of my co-workers and they wanted to know if you could come up with an Anagram for Albert Haynesworth.

Response from Capt. Awesome, Sep 30 12:48 pm:
Right now? Dude, these things take hours of time and thought, carefully deducing the hidden messages in each person's soul. You can't just make up an anagram on the spot!

Just kidding. Here it is:

Defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth
** Fat-necked evils, abhorrent wealth. Yes. **

20 minutes? Not bad, right? I also do bar mitzvahs.

Response from G, Sep 30 5:48 pm:
Wow. You truly have a gift. That is damn impressive.

In case you missed the debacle of a soap opera that was the Eagles game on Sunday, the boys in green had the ball just outside the end zone with seconds left in the first half trailing 17-3. On a third-and-goal play, RB LeSean McCoy appeared to get close to the goal line, but an ensuing officials review showed him down at the 6-inch line.

So then the Eagles called a timeout. And then they talked about the next play call. And then they got a delay of game penalty. And then they kicked a field goal from the six-yard line. And then they effectively lost the game by four points.

Eagles coach Andy Reid took "full responsibility" for the debacle, saying he wouldn't blame the officials for shady time keeping, then he blamed the refs for shady time keeping. He also dropped this gem:

"I wasn't surprised that the clock was moving, but I was surprised that it was moving as quickly as it was."

All of this confirms my long-held suspicions that Andy Reid believes the two-minute warning is actually 10-minutes long.

Last Sunday the Eagles got to face off against former star QB Donovan McNabb, and next week the Eagles will face former star RB Brian Westbrook when they take on the 49ers. Here's some other notable former Philly stars who'll the current team will face on the gridiron:

** Week 6: The Hotlanta Falcons visit Philly and bring former fan-favorite WR Brian Finneran (with Eagles in 1999) along.

** Week 7: A trip to Tennessee to take on the Titans reunites the team with beloved DE Justin Babin (with Eagles in 2009).

** Week 11: The New York Giants bring into town little-known former Eagle T Shawn Andrews (with Eagles from 2004 to 2009).

** Week 16: A Christmas visit from the Vikings brings home former heroes Eagles WRs Greg Lewis and Hank Baskett (assuming either can stay on the team that long).

Last year the Cowboys traded for safety Gerald Sensabaugh to fill their vacant strong safety slot. It's only been a few games, but can we already see just from his name what he thinks about his new teammates?

Cowboys Strong Safety Gerald Sensabaugh
** Cowboys: Fleabag thugs and greasy stoners **

That seems harsh. Fleabag thugs? Maybe Gerald just has a chip on his shoulder. What does his rookie backup, another new face on the squad, think about his teammates?

Dallas Cowboys Strong Safety Barry Church
** Cowboys: Scary thugs and cry-for-ball haters **

Nevermind. I stand corrected.

Click on the image below to make it bigger.

Great work for Bobert, bad week for Jeff, and Anthony is still hanging out down there waaaaaaay at the bottom. Don't worry, though. His QB, Kevin Kolb, should fix that soon.

** I'd like to apologize for not mentioning that Dad picked up four games on me last week in our annual battle of picks. I'd like to apologize, but I just can't. This week, thankfully, we broke even again.

** Texans RB Arian Foster is still on pace to break the NFL single season rushing record of 2,105 yards. He's rushed for 537 yards in four games, putting him on track for 2,148 yards this season. I'm just saying...

** In case you're wondering who you're rooting for in the other MLB postseason series, here's the rundown. On Thursday former Phillie P Cliff Lee and his Texas Rangers take on the Tampa Bay not-Devil Rays. Later, former Phillie 1B Jim Thome and his Minnesota Twins take on the Yankees. On Thursday, former Phillie OF Pat Burrell and his San Francisco Giants take on the Braves. Cheer as needed.

** Adam Schefter, on the Vick injury Sunday: "With that rib injury, he's going to have trouble eating, sleeping, and basically going through life." So, it'll pretty much be like me trying to watch Vick take over as Eagles QB?

2010 fantasy recap, week 3

The Phillies clinched their fourth consecutive NL East crown on Monday in Washington (the third time they've clinched the division against the Natinals). The members of this dynasty should be household names, but how many Phillies have actually been on the field for the final out of all four clinching games? And can you name them?

Here's a quick look at the Phillies starting lineup for most of this year, to get you started:

C Carlos Ruiz, 1B Ryan Howard, 2B Chase Utley, SS Jimmy Rollins, 3B Placido Polanco, RF Jason Werth, CF Shane Victorino, LF Raul Ibanez.

Answer later in the post...

QB: Mike Vick, 38.64 pts – sitting on my bench
RB: Adrian Peterson, 35.50 pts – started by Jeff
WR: Austin Collie, 35.40 pts – started by Heidi
TE: Dustin Keller, 24.53 pts – sitting on Jim’s bench
K: Dan Carpenter, 14.00 pts – sitting on the wire
DEF: Seattle, 29.00 pts – sitting on the wire
D: Brandon Siler, 10.50 pts – sitting on the wire

Lots of top players on the waiver wire this week (well, there were until Paul grabbed the Seattle D) and Mike Vick is available to anyone for a trade. I just can’t stomach starting that guy. I'm not sure how any responsible coach can...


"RB means running backwards" edition

3rd place: Devin Moore, 0.32 pts – sitting on the wire
2nd place: Toby Gerhart, -0.30 pts – sitting on the wire
1st place: Chris Ivory, -0.70 pts – sitting on the wire

Pretty good week for defenses, though. Not a single one ended up with negative points. That's the first time no defense out of all 32 teams has lost points since ... c'mon, even I don't keep track of that.

** Both Iowa and Michigan State scored 45 points in their respective wins on Saturday, both impressive totals but only good enough to be tied for fourth place in the Big Ten's offensive performances this weekend. Michigan scored 65 points, Wisconsin scored 70, and Ohio State scored 73 points.

** Speaking of Ohio State, in their win QB Terrell Pryor racked up 224 passing yards and 4 TDs, 104 rushing yards and 1 TD, and 20 receiving yards and 1 TD. That's an impressive 56.7 points for those of you in college football fantasy leagues.

** Delaware won their Saturday match-up against Richmond 34-13 to move to 4-0, but surrendered a TD late in the second quarter of the win. It was the first they'd given up all year, and it made them the last college team in the country -- FBS, FCS, D-II and D-III -- to give up their first six-pointer of the year.

** Next week the 7th-ranked Hens will take on the 3rd-ranked Dukes of James Madison in an FCS showdown game. The Dukes upset Virginia Tech (that Virginia Tech, ranked 13th in the FBS at the time) two weeks ago.


Until further notice, the stupidest thing I hear every week is that gawd-forsaken Dodge Caravan commercial which states "it literally gave birth to all other minivans." That commercial literally makes my ears bleed motor oil. Literally. My doctor at Jiffy Lube is completely baffled. On the plus side, the medical tests only cost $19.99 a visit.

However, the stupidest football thing I heard this week came from the Maryland Racial Slurs radio crew, when Sonny Jurgensen had this exchange with sideline reporter Rick 'Doc' Walker:

Doc: I just don't understand why the Redskins are throwing their simplest defensive packages at the Rams today. Sonny, what do you think?
Sonny: Why are you asking me?
Doc: Well, aren't you watching the defense?
Sonny: I'm not in charge of the defense. I'm up here in the booth. You're the one on the sideline.

You wouldn't think you'd have to remind a Hall of Fame quarterback that reporters don't usually call plays, or remind a radio analyst that it's his job to analyze games. But you apparently don't listen to Washington DC radio.


Former Eagles QB returns to Philly next weekend for the first time as an opponent in Lincoln Financial Field. Here's the latest odds on what his welcome will be, according to bodog.com:

** McNabb gets cheered: 4 to 1 odds
** McNabb gets booed: 2 to 1 odds
** McNabb gets no crowd reaction: 11 to 1 odds
** McNabb gets pelted with bottles: 5 to 1 odds
** McNabb gets awarded the key to the city: 20 to 1 odds
** McNabb gets introduced, Vick gets booed: 3 to 1 odds
** McNabb gets pelted with pieces of Kevin Kolb: 25 to 1 odds
** McNabb gets named the Eagles starting QB: 10 to 1 odds
** McNabb throws up: 3 to 1 odds

Only three Phillies have been on the field for all four clinching outs: Ryan Howard, Chase Utley and Shane Victorino.

Ibanez was signed in 2008, Polanco in 2009. Victorino was actually playing RF in 2007 with Aaron Rowand in CF and Pat Burrell in LF (and Werth on the bench the whole game). C Carlos Ruiz started the game in 2007, but was replaced by C Chris Coste in the 7th (and therefore wasn't on-field for the final out). And SS Jimmy Rollins didn't play in the clincher this week.

And the pitchers? Brett Myers was on the mound for the final out in 2007, Brad Lidge in 2008 and 2009, and Roy Halladay this year.

One of the main storylines this season has been that the Super Bowl will be played in Texas this year, after Cowboys owner Jerry Jones spent billions to build a new stadium in Dallas and thousands more to rebuild his own face. Sports writers have been salivating over the chance of seeing the Cowboys play in the big game at home, but no one has looked at the larger issue of what putting the biggest game of the year in Texas really means to the fans. I present to you the obvious but letter-hidden answer:

Dallas hosts the Super Bowl this season
** Assess: Bastards put show into hellhole **

I think that's a pretty accurate assessment.

Click on the image below to make it bigger.

In order from the top, that's a former Awesome Cup Champion, a former Awesome Cup Champion, the reigning Awesome Cup Champion, a two-time Awesome Cup Champion, and Mrs. Awesome. That's a lot of awesome for one set of standings.

** Again I ask: If the wildcat offense was so important all last year, and if Andy Reid insisted that it wasn't disruptive to his quarterbacks, why didn't we see Kevin Kolb take one out of every six snaps in Sunday's Eagles game?

** You have to applaud the Jets integrity. After WR Braylon Edwards was busted for DUI this week, they made him sit on the bench during Sunday night's primetime game ... until the Jets fell behind. Then they immediately put him on the field and tossed him a 67-yard TD pass. Nothing says standing by your morals like ditching them as soon as you get in trouble.

** By the way, Texans RB Arian Foster is still on pace to rush for an NFL-record 2,165 yards this season (406 yards through three games). I'm just saying...

** Bye weeks start this week, kids. Don't forget to get those rosters in order, because the Andy Reid blown call of the week is still lurking out there.

2010 fantasy recap, week 2

Andy Reid announced Tuesday that Mike Vick is the Eagles' starter "for the foreseeable future" because he gives the team the best chance to win. And thus ends the illustrious Kevin Kolb era in Philadelphia, sooner than many predicted but still notable for all of his achievements. Before we close the book on Kolb's career as the Eagles' signal caller, let's take a look back at some of the highlights:

** Sept. 12, 1:00 pm -- Kolb makes his first appearance as the Eagles' full-time starter in their 2010 opener.
** Sept. 12, 1:05 pm -- Kolb makes his first completion as starter, a 5 yard pass to WR Jeremy Maclin.
** Sept. 12, 1:15 pm -- Kolb leads the Eagles on his first scoring drive as starter, a 45-yard field goal.
** Sept. 12, 1:34 pm -- Kolb is nearly picked off by the Green Bay defense, but on replay the pass is determined to be incomplete.
** October 2007 -- Kolb is sentenced to two years in jail and suspended from the NFL. It's not for smuggling drugs into an airport, or for cursing out and flipping off his own fans, or for infecting a woman he picked up with herpes. It's for running a high-cost dogfighting ring and brutally killing animals that failed to perform. At least I think that was Kolb. I know it was an Eagles quarterback.
** Sept. 12, 2:17 pm -- Kolb gets a concussion on an incomplete pass near the end of the first half. He does not return to the game.

Hopefully the Eagles new starter can provide us with just as many fond memories.

QB: Matt Schaub, 38.06 pts -- started by Paul
RB: Javid Best, 45.07 pts -- sitting on Joel's bench
WR: Andre Johnson, 28.53 pts -- started by Jim
TE: Antonio Gates, 20.80 -- started by NewMike
K: Mike Nugent, 16.00 pts -- sitting on the wire
DEF: Pittsburgh, 30.00 pts -- started by Jeff
D: James Harrison, 15.00 pts -- sitting on the wire

Poor, poor Joel -- Last week he had Arian Foster and his 42.57 pts on the bench, and this week he benched Best to put Foster in the starting lineup. Those two moves alone have cost him 63 pts so far, enough to jump him from 11th place to first. If you're planning for other leagues next week, make sure to start Ray Rice. He's the next RB that Joel will bench in an attempt to get this right.

"QBs who stink" edition

3rd place: Billy Volek, -0.10 pts -- sitting on the wire
2nd place: Max Hall, -1.38 pts -- sitting on the wire
1st place: Vince Young, -2.16 pts -- sitting on Paul's bench

Two of those guys are former starters for the Tennessee Titans. One of those guys is an air conditioning setting for a spacious elementary school.

Despite another solid performance by Texans RB Arian Foster, the Houston franchise has not responded to nationwide calls to start printing "Arian Nation" T-shirts (perhaps with a combo Longhorns and swastika logo?) It's not the first T-shirt that the team has opted not to back, citing ridiculous "good taste" regulations. Here are a few others:

** Get ready for a Schaub job (with a picture of QB Matt Schaub)
** Nice Rackers (with a picture of K Neil Rackers)
** More Cushing for the Pushing (with a picture of LB Brian Cushing)
** You can't touch our Johnson (with a picture of WR Andre Johnson)
** We can actually make the playoffs (with a picture of the team)

On Sunday night, during the Colts/Giants game, color commentator Chris Collingsworth was talking about Peyton and Eli Manning when he noted "it doesn't take long to figure out these two are brothers -- just look at how they throw the ball."

I had actually been tipped off to that fact by their nearly-identical faces and the name "Manning" on the back of their jerseys, but I'm a pretty careful football watcher. Most newbies probably didn't notice that.

We cover this every year, but it's always my favorite stat. The way the NFL calculates it's quarterback rating is much like the SATs, with points added for good plays and points deduced for poor plays. If you simply throw one ball into the ground, your base QB rating is actually 39.6, not zero. So it's possible to do worse than completing zero passes for zero yards.

With all that in mind, here's where you stack up against some pro quarterbacks who played this weekend:

** Brett Favre: 225 yds, 3 INTs (44.3 rating)
** Jason Campbell: 87 yds, 1 INT (42.9 rating)
** Derek Anderson: 161 yds, 2 INTs (42.5 rating)
** You: 0 yds (39.6 rating)
** Trent Edwards: 102 yds, 2 INTs (37.0 rating)
** Jimmy Clausen: 59 yds, 1 INT (33.8 rating)
** Joe Flacco: 154 yds, 1 TD, 4 INTs (23.8 rating)
** Max Hall: 3 yds, 1 INT (16.8 rating)

By the way, Clausen will make about $2.8 million this year and Flacco about $2.5 million. And you were a better quarterback than both of them this week.

Sometimes, when I look at players names, I can see certain words like "hate" or "fail" or "turd" that make it easy to do these anagrams. But, when you see a name like new Dallas rookie Akwasi Owusu-Ansah, the words are so unpronounceable that it seems impossible to figure out what they spell out. Then, suddenly, it all comes together:

Dallas Cowboys kick/punt returner Akwasi Owusu-Ansah
** Kick us: That is so awkward/unpronounceable. Slur away. **

You have to admit you never thought I'd get "unpronounceable" out of one of these.

Click on the image below to make it bigger.

Don't worry, that won't last for long.

** If running the Wildcat is so important to Andy Reid when Kevin Kolb is the starting QB, why wasn't backup Mike Kafka used at all on Sunday when QB Mike Vick started?

** We're two weeks in, but Dad and I are still tied in the weekly picks. Tampa Bay is 2-0 in games so far this season, and I'm 0-2 in accurately picking how Tampa Bay will perform so far.

** FYI, Reggie Bush broke his leg and is out for six weeks. I'm not a doctor, but I would have guessed against him healing in time to go out trick-or-treating this year.

** The Eagles haven't been happy with RB Mike Bell so far, so they've signed RB Joique Bell to help with rushing duties. Apparently they don't know that people with other last names are available. As a result, Hank Baskett got released for the 37th time. And this week's failed onside kick recovery wasn't even his fault.

2010 fantasy recap, week 1

** Colts QB Peyton Manning is on pace to throw for 7,088 yards this season (443 passing yards on Sunday). That would break the NFL record of 5,084 by more than 2,000 yards.

** In his second season in the league Texans RB Arian Foster is on pace to rush for 3,696 yards this season (231 rushing yards on Sunday). That would break the NFL record of 2,105 by more than 1,500 yards.

** Panthers QB Matt Moore is on pace to turn the ball over 64 times this season (three INTs, one lost fumble on Sunday). That would break the not only the individual but also the team record for turnovers in a season, which sits at 63.

** The New England Patriots are on pace to score 32 TDs on defense and special teams this year (one INT return, one kickoff return). For comparison, the San Francisco 49ers are on pace to score no TDs this season (zero TDs on Sunday).

** After losing a heartbreaker on Sunday, the Detroit Lions are on pace to go 0-16 this season. That wouldn't be anything new.

QB: Peyton Manning, 35.32 pts -- started by NewMike
RB: Arian Foster, 42.57 pts -- sitting on Joel's bench
WR: Chad Ochocinco, 28.60 pts -- started by Jeff
TE: Dallas Clark, 22.33 pts -- started by Joel
K: John Kasay, 13.00 pts -- started by Jeff
DEF: Seattle, 22.00 pts -- sitting on the wire
D: DeAngelo Hall, 14.50 pts -- sitting on the wire

Of the seven top performers there, three played in the Texans/Colts game on Sunday. None played in the Eagles/Packers game. But the Philly contest did have the three biggest injuries of the weekend (QB Kevin Kolb, RB Ryan Grant, FB Leonard Weaver), so it has that going for it.

"Skill" players edition

3rd place: Eldra Buckley, -0.33 pts -- sitting on the wire
2nd place: Shaun Hill, -0.38 pts -- sitting on the wire
1st place: Correll Buckhalter, -0.50 pts -- sitting on the wire

Poor C-Buck. He only picked up 15 yards rushing and fumbled the ball away in the second quarter. Still, his poor performance was still more impressive than his former backfield mate Brian Westbrook, who did not appear in the 49ers loss this week. Everyone who thought Buckhalter would be an NFL starter longer than Westbrook, raise your hand. Now put it back down. You liar.

New Eagles QB Kevin Kolb had a miserable debut as the team's full-time starter on Sunday -- He was 5 for 10 for 24 yards, with a mere QB rating of 56.3 (and 1 rushing yard), before leaving the game with a concussion. How does that stack up against other Eagles' QBs in their first game as the starter?

** Donovan McNabb (Sept. 3, 2000):
130 pass yards, 1 TD, 2 INT, 51.2 rating; 29 rush yards, 1 rush TD
** Doug Pederson (Sept. 12, 1999):
91 pass yards, 2 TD, 2 INT, 48.7 rating; 21 rush yards
** Bobby Hoying (Sept. 6, 1998):
60 pass yards, 0 TD, 1 INT, 29.1 rating; 13 rush yards
** Ty Detmer (Aug. 31, 1997):
103 pass yards, 0 TD, 0 INT, 49.3 rating; 20 rush yards
** Rodney Peete (Sept. 1, 1996):
269 pass yards, 2 TD, 1 INT, 91.4 rating; 10 rush yards

There you have it -- despite only playing a half, Kolb had the best debut by a new Eagles starter since Peete. And we all know how well that turned out in the end.

Before the games started on Sunday, one of the news update announcers for local ESPN 980 said that Sunday's game in Philadelphia "would be the first for the Eagles without Donovan McNabb." Ignoring the obvious stupidity of that statement (The Eagles were playing for 43 years before McNabb was born), the Eagles were "without McNabb" for two games last year. He's missed at least one game due to injury five of the last six years. And if everyone insisted that Kevin Kolb's first preseason start was some sort of official changing of the guard, then they've been "without McNabb" since the start of August.

So I thought that was going to be the stupidest thing I heard all Sunday. But during the Eagles game, announcer Joe Buck told me that Kolb wants to be a volunteer firefighter. Then analyst Troy Aikman commented, "If he sticks around in Philly, there will be plenty of fires to put out." Then Buck and Aikman both laughed. Loudly. Manically. Either they were both so high that this non-joke seemed hilarious, or the two of them have been setting random blazes around Philly without getting caught for years. Either way, the two of them should be put in jail for the good of humanity.

Late Sunday night the Cowboys were trailing the Maryland Racial Slurs 13-7 with just three seconds left when QB Tony Romo tossed the game-tying touchdown pass … only to have it called back on an offensive holding penalty. Game over, Cowboys lose.

It’s just the first game of a long season, but the loss joins the ranks of some of the most embarrassing late-game failures in Dallas football history. Here are some of the other golden moments:

** Jan. 6, 2007: Seahawks 21, Cowboys 20
With a minute left and the ball at the one-yard-line, the Cowboys lined up for a chip-shot field goal to win their first playoff game in a decade. But Romo – in as the place-holder – bobbled the snap, then tumbled just short of the end zone as Dallas lost the game.

** Sept. 8, 2002: Texans 19, Cowboys 10
The expansion team stunned the heavily favored Cowboys in their first official NFL game. Rookie QB David Carr tossed a 65-yard TD at the start of the fourth to break a 10-10 tie, and the Houston defense sacked Dallas QB Quincy Carter in the end zone for a safety with under three minutes left to seal the contest.

** Dec. 10, 1995: Eagles 20, Cowboys 17
Yep, the Groundhog Day game. Late in the fourth quarter, Dallas coach Barry Switzer opted to try and convert a fourth-and-one at their own 29-yard line. The Eagles defense stuffed Emmitt Smith, but the officials ruled after the fact that the two minute warning nullified the play. Undaunted, Switzer called the same play again, and the Eagles stopped them again. They kicked the game-winning field goal four plays later.

** Nov. 25, 1993: Dolphins 16, Cowboys 14
In a Thanksgiving classic, the Dolphins trailed by a point in the waning moments of the game. Their 41-yard field goal attempt was blocked, but as the Cowboys celebrated their win DT Leon Lett inexplicably tried to pick up the loose ball. His swat at the pigskin made it a live ball, and the Dolphins eventually recovered. With just seconds left, they connected on their second field goal try.

** Dec. 16, 1989: Giants 15, Cowboys 0
The Giants didn’t manage a single touchdown, but they still beat their division rivals by more than two TDs. The Cowboys had the ball at the one-yard line with minutes left in the game, but were stopped on four consecutive tries to preserve the shutout.

It's a new season, so it's time to look at the new faces on everyone's least favorite team. What does the boys' supposed star rookie have to say for himself?

** Cowboys wideout Dez Bryant **
Zero talent dud. Swab daily.

Ewww... Not only does he stink at football, apparently he also actually stinks. Why else would he have to get swabbed every day?

Everyone on that team is just so disgusting...

Click on the image below to make it bigger.

Tough week for Paul and Anthony, but a great opening for Jeff. The year he won the Awesome Cup he was in first almost wire-to-wire. Can he do it again?

No, probably not. But it's a good first week either way.

** The worst part of Kolb's injury on Sunday is that it if they use backup Mike Vick, that leaves the Eagles with a inaccurate QB who has never been fully embraced by the fans and who doesn't want to be seen as a running quarterback despite his obvious skills there. So, he's basically McNabb with a criminal record. Great roster management, guys.

** Best football joke this week: "A Mexican reporter has accused the Jets of harrassing and abusing her during practice this week. But the Baltimore Ravens said they found nothing harrassing or abusing about the Jets offense on Monday night."

** Brett Farve: Still not retired.

** The Phillies 2011 schedule came out today -- They open up at home against the Houston Astros on April 1. Get your tickets now. Might as well put in an order for the Flyers 2012 season opener now too.

2010 fantasy football -- preseason predictions

All the draft picks are in, so it’s time for my fearless predictions:

Heidi’s team (Heidi)
Prediction -- 12th place, 1705 pts
Breakdown: Heidi’s team actually looks half-decent, but we’ll be rooting against her all year. Starting QB: Tony Romo. Starting WR: Dez Bryant. Backup RB: Felix Jones. She’s the Dallas Defense away from being Jerry Jones. So, best of luck to everyone this year, except for Heidi. Hope you only score 20 points all year. Nothing personal.

Farve Dollar Footlongs (Ant)
Prediction -- 11th place, 1800 pts
Breakdown: Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the homer team of the year! QB Kevin Kolb, WR DeSean Jackson and TE Brent Celek all have a home with Anthony’s team, as does former FB and current Falcons DE Dan Klecko. Expect Anthony to cut QB Eli Manning to pick up WR Fred Barnett or Phillies SS Jimmy Rollins in the coming days.

The Tebow Connection (Joel)
Prediction -- 10th place, 1825 pts
Breakdown: I want to put Joel’s team higher – QB Joe Flacco, RB Ray Rice and TE Vernon Davis look like a great trio of power. But if Joel’s team does well it’ll mean I’ll have to talk about the rest of his team in the weekly recaps: WR Devin Aromashodu, RB Javid Best, WR Steve Breaston. I don’t need ridiculous names here, kids. I write all my own jokes.

Springfield Atoms (Bob)
Prediction -- 9th place, 1850 pts
Breakdown: Bob drafted both the Eagles Defense and Terrell Owens. I feel like there’s a cathartic reality show involved there, but I just can’t put my finger on it. He also got QB Aaron Rodgers (who’ll end up as the top points scorer overall this year) and WRs Charles Johnson and the other Steve Smith, but I just can’t rank a T.O. team any higher than this.

Obama’s Kenyan Birth (Jim)
Prediction -- 8th place, 1889 pts
Breakdown: Jim drafted two Fs (Finley, Jermichael and Forsett, Justin), three Cs (Carson Palmer, CJ Spiller and Colson, Marques) but only one A (Austin, Miles). Where I’m from, that’s not a good GPA. Also, I hate Miles Austin. And I decided Andre Johnson didn’t count because it messed up my joke.

Jonathan’s PopPop (Dad)
Prediction -- 7th place, 1949 pts
Breakdown: If this was 2006 Dad would be the clear favorite, because QB Jay Cutler, WR Randy Moss, RB Michael Turner, WR Steve Smith, and RB Thomas Jonees were all studs just a few years ago. But it’s not, and he won’t end up separating from the middle of the pack. On the plus side, his team isn’t weighed down by any Eagles, so it shouldn’t be a miserable season in the end.

Stay Puft Haynesworth (NewMike)
Prediction -- 6th place, 1950 pts
Breakdown: Our reigning champ’s draft result relies too much on last year’s Super Bowl losers, with QB Peyton Manning and WR Pierre Garcon leading his team. WR Wes Welker and TE Antonio Gates are fine players, but his RBs are just terrible. Plus, he managed to draft Asante Samuel, meaning even if he gets close to the top spot in the standings he won’t be able to grab it and wrestle it to the ground.

I’m on a Horse (ChampMike)
Prediction -- 5th place, 2001 pts
Breakdown: I can’t in good conscience put a team coached by Mike any lower than this, but after RB Chris Johnson, QB Phillip Rivers and RB Cedric Benson there’s not much else here. Dwane Bowe, Derrick Mason and Roy Williams all at WR is the definition of the NFL’s all-mediocre team. And if we have an unseasonably warm September Mike could get off to a rough start, because his backup QB is all-pro heat exhaustion expert Donovan McNabb.

Blue Collar Killers (Jeff)
Prediction -- 4th place, 2020 pts
Breakdown: Listen to me closely: Don’t sleep on Jeff this year. Our league’s favorite doormat is a one-time Awesome Cup Champion, and his team looks great on paper right now. WRs Roddy White, Larry Fitzgerald, Chad Ochocinco and Donald Driver are all worth starters, and RB Adrian Peterson should lead the league in rushing this year. The only problem with his team? QB Brett Favre could retire at any time, leaving him rudderless.

West Coast Westy (Capt. Awesome)
Prediction -- 3rd place, 2072 pts
Breakdown: If you’re looking for RBs, here’s where they ended up. Stephen Jackson, Rashard Mendenhall, Brandon Jacobs, LeSean McCoy, and Jerome Harrison all fell to me (along with Comcast spokesman Tom Brady) while you people picked up competent wideouts. Fools. Andy Reid can tell you a reliable passing game never wins championships in the end.

I heart WRs (Paul)
Prediction -- 2nd place, 2125 pts
Breakdown: Paul was my preseason pick to win the league last year, and that pressure killed his almost from the get-go in 2009. So, because I’m a vengeful person, I’m picking him again to do well. QB Matt Schaub and RB Frank Gore are studs, and the rest of his RB corps is solid. But for someone who lives WRs so much, his crew seems weak: Mike Sims Walker, Malcolm Floyd and Devin Hester aren’t scaring anyone. Looks like he’ll have to win with his ground game for a change.

I Love Me Some Me (Joanner)
Prediction -- 1st place, 2126 pts
Breakdown: Jo doesn’t have that pesky pregnancy holding her back anymore, and she’s followed up her third-place finish last year with a solid all-around draft. QB Drew Brees, RB Ryan Grant and WR Anquan Boldin make up the best starting three in the league, and Jonathan Stewart and Matt Forte on the bench both should be fantasy surprises this year. On the negative side, she did draft Clinton Portis, which might be enough for her to forfeit right away just out of spite.

OK, kids – get those rosters ready for Thursday night, when the first game starts. Good luck to everyone (except Heidi).

More Eagles items on Ebay

I know you're getting ready for the football season, but do you have all the supplies you need? Here's a quick look at some of the essentials available on Ebay for Eagles fans right now:

Terrell Owens Jersey, Youth Medium ($7.99)
It's a steal for his return stint with the Eagles in 2011, when Mike Vick is the starting QB and Osama Bin Laden is signed at WR.

Philadelphia Eagles pumpkin carving kit ($5.99)
Includes six different patterns, but only five include the Eagles logo or name. But it's never too early to get ready for Halloween.

Five-foot tall fake Eagles mascot ($330.99)
I have no idea what team uses this mascot, but it's not the Eagles. Maybe it's the Palo Alto Pencil-Eraser Birds?

Game-worn Brian Westbrook trading card ($0.99)
I can only assume that Westbrook wore the card after one of his concussions, because nothing in that phrase makes any sense.

Philadelphia Eagles painted quarters ($14.99)
Set of three includes McNabb, Owens, Westbrook. From the seller: "If a die hard Eagles Fan can see none of these players play for them anymore great item good luck."

Four tickets to the Eagles/Vikings game ($3,515.60)
For the same price as a used car you could get up close with Minnesota QB Brett Favre ... provided he doesn't retire again between now and December.

Eagles wedding garter ($9.99)
Of course, if you throw this at your wedding, there's always the danger Asante Samuel will appear and tackle someone. I'm just kidding. Samuel never tackles anyone.

2010 Fantasy Football draft order

Get ready, kids. Everybody is signed up for the return of the "Who needs linebackers?" fantasy league, and of course you're all familiar with the draft rules. So, with everyone's proxy assembled at Fort Awesome, let's select the draft order for this season.

Good luck to all, and the first name being pulled from the Eagles' skull cap is ...

12 -- West Coast Westy (Capt. Awesome)
        Son of a ... really? I've got to rearrange these draft rules next year. In response to getting the worst pick possible, my proxy, a dancing Eagles hamster, remains silent and furry. Let no one say that this process is rigged.
        The next name out of the hat goes to...

11 -- Why Can't Us (Ant)
        Just a bit of bad luck for Anthony, who would have picked 8th in a traditional draft order. But the good news is that Ladanian Tomlinson will probably still be available here, since he always ends up drafting him. His proxy, a Donovan McNabb bobble head doll, vomits in response. In fairness, it's been pretty hot in this room.
        Next pick goes to...

10 -- StayPuft Haynesworth (New Mike)
        Our reigning champ gets a slightly higher pick than expected, but that might be bad news. He won the league picking 13th last year. We only have 12 teams this year, because per league policy our last place finisher was executed at season's end in January. Mike's representative, a fluffy white pillow, lays on the floor apathetic in response, much like Albert Hanyesworth.
        Moving on, the next name appearing is...

9 -- I Love Me Some Me (Joanner)
        At word of the news Joanna's proxy, Junior Awesome, promptly cries and fills his diaper. I remind him that his mother just picked out my name dead last. He reminds me that it's my turn to change his diaper by yelling louder.
        After a slight diaper delay, we're back to picking and the next slot goes to...

8 -- I Heart WRs (Paul)
        Paul's pick comes in ... exactly where he finished last year. How dull. Sort of like the Eagles' first-string preseason offense. Paul's proxy, a mini-level sitting on my desk, remains perfectly and uninterestingly balanced.
        Next name out of the hat belongs to...

7 -- Jonathan's PopPop (Dad)
        Bad news to everyone picking after #7 -- you no longer have any shot of picking up Kevin Kolb, who is already one of the top four QBs all-time according to my father (behind John Elway, Dan Marino and Koy Detmer, of course). Dad's representative, a green teddy bear signaling touchdown, signals touchdown in response. Apparently, he doesn't know that a TD is only worth 6 before the extra point.
        Our next selection goes to lucky player ...

6 -- Heidi's team (Heidi)
        Hoepfully that name is just a placeholder, but the pick is for sure now. Our only player to be banned a season for steroids will pick right in the middle of the pack. Heidi's proxy, a bottle of NyQuil, remains green and angry, vowing revenge on all who dare challenge it.
        Moving along quickly, the next name is ...

5 -- Springfield Atoms (Bobert)
        Tough break for Bob, who would have gotten the third pick in a most just system. Instead of getting Ray Rice he'll be forced to swallow another year of Frank Gore. Bob's proxy, an elderly gentleman on Pawn Stars trying to sell his 18th century rifle, is devastated by the news that his gun is actually a fake. The news of the #5 pick doesn't seems to affect him at all, however.
        Back in the hat, and the next slip pulled out belongs to...

4 -- Obama's Kenyan Birth (Jim)
        Jim finished uncharacteristically poorly last year, but even with a pick this high still probably won't pick an RB with his first pick. But despite that character flaw I appreciate that Jim each year tries to class up the joint with some political humor. His representative, a copy of the Constitution on our bookshelf, weeps at both the pick slot and the team name.
        Only three players left, and the next one out of the hat is ...

3 -- The Tebow Connection (Joel)
        Am I the only one who has been singing non-stop since Joel first posted his team name? "Why aren't there many more songs about Tebow/ And how he's such a swell guy? / Someday we'll find it / The Tebow Connection / The lovers, the Broncos, and meeeee." Joel's proxy, Elmo's First Book of Colors, smiles approvingly. Ironically, orange doesn't come up until the last page of the book.
        Two names left, and the first-runner up goes to ...

2 -- Blue Collar Killers (Jeff)
        The beautiful thing about presason is that every fan believes this could be the year their team wins it all ... even Jeff's team, which usually suffers a heroic string of bad luck and bad management to end up at the bottom each year. His proxy, one of my blue dress shirts, falls off a hanger and crumples in response to the pick.
        That leaves just one player left, so congrats to...

1 -- I'm on a Horse (Champ Mike)
        Our only two-time Awesome Cup champion scores another minor victory, moving up five spots in the draft order to grab the first overall pick. He doesn't need the extra help, but something tells me he's not going to complain about it either. His proxy, a stuffed panda, waits menicingly for the inveitable bloodbath to come.

That's it folks. Everybody get your draft order set, and I'll flip the switch on Sept. 1. That gives you all a week and a day to get your affairs in order. Remember that whoever drafts Tony Romo automatically gets the preseason last place ranking. Any other questions, you know where to find me.

Proposed Kolb grading system

Sure, you could just look at the Eagles record to decide how well new QB Kevin Kolb is playing. But what fun would that be? What we need here is a set of statistical criteria to judge every aspect of Kolb’s game against how the Maryland Racial Slurs’ new QB (Donovan McNabb) is doing, and then determine a clear and completely arbitrary winner. In fact, we should do that every single week, constantly evaluating and second-guessing Kolb’s entire career.

So, let’s see what we’ve got from the first set of preseason games:

---------------------------------------------
QB Rating: Point to McNabb
Kolb 83.5, McNabb 124.0

Completion percentage: Point to McNabb
Kolb 6/11, McNabb 5/8

Yards: Point to Kolb
Kolb 95, McNabb 58

TDs: Point to McNabb
Kolb 0, McNabb 1

Turnovers: Push
Kolb 0, McNabb 0

Rushing Yards: Point to Kolb
Kolb 15, McNabb 1

Team offensive points: Point to McNabb
Kolb 6, McNabb 7

Team win: Push
Kolb Yes, McNabb Yes

Result: McNabb 4, Kolb 2, Push 2.
Results for the year: McNabb leads 1-0 (preseason)
---------------------------------------------

Keep in mind that this is still the preseason, so I may tweak the formula before the regular season recaps begin.

Same as it ever was

A look at the Phillies, through 111 games:

Starting rotation
2009 – Lee, Happ, Martinez, Moyer, Hamels
2010 – Halladay, Oswalt, Blanton, Kendrick, Hamels

Infield
2009 – Howard, Utley, Rollins, Feliz
2010 – Sweeney, Valdez, Rollins, Polanco

Road record
2009 – 34 wins, 19 losses
2010 – 26 wins, 30 losses

Runs scored
2009 – 585
2010 – 524

All Stars
2009 – Five (Howard, Utley, Ibanez, Victorino, Werth)
2010 – Two (Howard, Halladay)

Record
2009 – 63-48
2010 – 62-49

So, one year later, we’ve had three controversial pitcher trades, a complete replacement of the bench, major injuries to half the team … and we’re back to the exact same spot. Yay?

Office turnover

Since K David Akers joined the Eagles 11 years ago, he’s had 246 different co-workers on the playing field alongside him (not including coaches and trainers). His oldest co-worker, QB Donovan McNabb, had been with him since 1999 but was traded from the team in the off-season.

Here’s a closer look at the cast of characters he’s toiled alongside since his start as an Eagles employee:

** 11 different QBs have taken snaps in games (or at least in practice) for the Eagles over that span. They are (in descending order of skill) Donovan McNabb, Jeff Garcia, A. J. Feeley, Koy Detmer, Michael Vick, Jeff Blake, Mike McMahon, Doug Pederson, Andy Hall, Tim Hasselbeck and Kevin Kolb.

** 22 different RBs have taken a hand-off since then, most notably Duce Staley and Brian Westbrook. But the list also includes luminaries like Amp Lee, Eric Bieniemy, Rod ‘He Hate Me’ Smart, Darnell Autry, and someone named Eric McCoo.

** The team has employed 33 different offensive linemen but 45 unique defensive linemen – unusual, since a typical defense features just four linemen and a typical offense five.

** The Eagles have employed three other kickers – Jose Cortez, Norm Johnson and Todd France – during Akers stay but needed seven other punters. They include Dirk Johnson, Sean Landeta and Sav Rocca, but also some guy named Reggie Hodges.

** 32 different linebackers have taken the field during the span. Only three were good: Jeremiah Trotter, Ike Reese and William Thomas. Among those who were not: Mike Labinjo, Pago Togafau, Torrance Daniels.

** Only two players of the 246 were listed before Akers in the Eagles' alphabetical roster over that time frame: LB Keith Adams and DE Victor Abiamiri.

** The team has gone through 28 different WRs over that span, but only three have posted a 1,000-yard season: Terrell Owens in 2004, Kevin Curtis in 2007 and DeSean Jackson in 2009. Surprisingly, that list does not include great wideouts like Dietrich Jells, Billy McMullen or Na Brown.

The Eagles invited 21 rookies to training camp this year and 8 other new veterans, so it looks like Akers will be making more new friends soon.

Excited about football

I'll be the first to admit it: I didn't think I'd be psyched about football this year, but as soon as this week rolled around I found myself desperate to see the boys back on the field again. Why? Consider the following:

1 -- This team is nothing but young talent. The squad has 16 key players under 30, and a handful more who just hit that magic number.

2 -- The Philly defense still has some major holes, but the offense already looks to be coming along just fine. That doesn't necessarily mean more wins, but it does make for some exciting shootouts.

3 -- The fan base has already been rabid, and there's no reason to think that they're going to calm down anytime soon.

4 -- The playoffs are a real possibility. When you look at the other teams in their division, none of them have a clear edge. Sure, it'll take some luck, but it's not an impossible climb up to a playoff slot.

I know a lot of folks are pessimistic looking ahead, but don't count me among them. Football is back for good this week, and it should be a time for excitement throughout Philadelphia.

It all starts on Saturday, when the MLS All-Star break wraps up and the Philadelphia Union retake the field to start the second half of the football season. Who would have thought their inaugural season could be this exciting?

Join or Die, baby. Join or Die.

Wait, you thought I was talking about these jerks? Hell no. Nothing about this NFL season looks like fun.

Thanks again, Eagles

Every day, on my way to work, I pass by this bus stop just a block from my office. Last Friday they changed the ad on the side of it:


So now I'll get to see that every day until September.

Thanks again, Eagles. This is gonna be a great football season. Excuse me for a moment while I wretch in the corner.

Fun with video

If you missed it, this was inspired by this much better post.

He's going the distance...

Just another FYI chart -- click on the image to make it bigger.

Trying to be relentlessly positive

Chase Utley could be out for several weeks with a thumb injury. The last time the Phillies lost their all-star 2B to an extended injury was 2007 ... when the Phillies staged a late-season rally to win their division.

The Phillies were 3.5 games out starting Tuesday. The last time they were that far out after June 1 was in June 2009 ... when the Phillies staged a late-season rally to win their division.

Jimmy Rollins has already missed 57 games this year. The last season he missed more than 30 games was 2008 ... when the Phillies staged a late-season rally to win their division.

The Phillies have already been shut out seven times this season. The last time they were shut out that many times in one year was 2009 ... when the Phillies staged a late-season rally to win their division.

Just saying ...

My annual pilgrimage

Yes, I was at this game. On a positive note, I got some fun pictures.