2010 fantasy recap, week 2

Andy Reid announced Tuesday that Mike Vick is the Eagles' starter "for the foreseeable future" because he gives the team the best chance to win. And thus ends the illustrious Kevin Kolb era in Philadelphia, sooner than many predicted but still notable for all of his achievements. Before we close the book on Kolb's career as the Eagles' signal caller, let's take a look back at some of the highlights:

** Sept. 12, 1:00 pm -- Kolb makes his first appearance as the Eagles' full-time starter in their 2010 opener.
** Sept. 12, 1:05 pm -- Kolb makes his first completion as starter, a 5 yard pass to WR Jeremy Maclin.
** Sept. 12, 1:15 pm -- Kolb leads the Eagles on his first scoring drive as starter, a 45-yard field goal.
** Sept. 12, 1:34 pm -- Kolb is nearly picked off by the Green Bay defense, but on replay the pass is determined to be incomplete.
** October 2007 -- Kolb is sentenced to two years in jail and suspended from the NFL. It's not for smuggling drugs into an airport, or for cursing out and flipping off his own fans, or for infecting a woman he picked up with herpes. It's for running a high-cost dogfighting ring and brutally killing animals that failed to perform. At least I think that was Kolb. I know it was an Eagles quarterback.
** Sept. 12, 2:17 pm -- Kolb gets a concussion on an incomplete pass near the end of the first half. He does not return to the game.

Hopefully the Eagles new starter can provide us with just as many fond memories.

QB: Matt Schaub, 38.06 pts -- started by Paul
RB: Javid Best, 45.07 pts -- sitting on Joel's bench
WR: Andre Johnson, 28.53 pts -- started by Jim
TE: Antonio Gates, 20.80 -- started by NewMike
K: Mike Nugent, 16.00 pts -- sitting on the wire
DEF: Pittsburgh, 30.00 pts -- started by Jeff
D: James Harrison, 15.00 pts -- sitting on the wire

Poor, poor Joel -- Last week he had Arian Foster and his 42.57 pts on the bench, and this week he benched Best to put Foster in the starting lineup. Those two moves alone have cost him 63 pts so far, enough to jump him from 11th place to first. If you're planning for other leagues next week, make sure to start Ray Rice. He's the next RB that Joel will bench in an attempt to get this right.

"QBs who stink" edition

3rd place: Billy Volek, -0.10 pts -- sitting on the wire
2nd place: Max Hall, -1.38 pts -- sitting on the wire
1st place: Vince Young, -2.16 pts -- sitting on Paul's bench

Two of those guys are former starters for the Tennessee Titans. One of those guys is an air conditioning setting for a spacious elementary school.

Despite another solid performance by Texans RB Arian Foster, the Houston franchise has not responded to nationwide calls to start printing "Arian Nation" T-shirts (perhaps with a combo Longhorns and swastika logo?) It's not the first T-shirt that the team has opted not to back, citing ridiculous "good taste" regulations. Here are a few others:

** Get ready for a Schaub job (with a picture of QB Matt Schaub)
** Nice Rackers (with a picture of K Neil Rackers)
** More Cushing for the Pushing (with a picture of LB Brian Cushing)
** You can't touch our Johnson (with a picture of WR Andre Johnson)
** We can actually make the playoffs (with a picture of the team)

On Sunday night, during the Colts/Giants game, color commentator Chris Collingsworth was talking about Peyton and Eli Manning when he noted "it doesn't take long to figure out these two are brothers -- just look at how they throw the ball."

I had actually been tipped off to that fact by their nearly-identical faces and the name "Manning" on the back of their jerseys, but I'm a pretty careful football watcher. Most newbies probably didn't notice that.

We cover this every year, but it's always my favorite stat. The way the NFL calculates it's quarterback rating is much like the SATs, with points added for good plays and points deduced for poor plays. If you simply throw one ball into the ground, your base QB rating is actually 39.6, not zero. So it's possible to do worse than completing zero passes for zero yards.

With all that in mind, here's where you stack up against some pro quarterbacks who played this weekend:

** Brett Favre: 225 yds, 3 INTs (44.3 rating)
** Jason Campbell: 87 yds, 1 INT (42.9 rating)
** Derek Anderson: 161 yds, 2 INTs (42.5 rating)
** You: 0 yds (39.6 rating)
** Trent Edwards: 102 yds, 2 INTs (37.0 rating)
** Jimmy Clausen: 59 yds, 1 INT (33.8 rating)
** Joe Flacco: 154 yds, 1 TD, 4 INTs (23.8 rating)
** Max Hall: 3 yds, 1 INT (16.8 rating)

By the way, Clausen will make about $2.8 million this year and Flacco about $2.5 million. And you were a better quarterback than both of them this week.

Sometimes, when I look at players names, I can see certain words like "hate" or "fail" or "turd" that make it easy to do these anagrams. But, when you see a name like new Dallas rookie Akwasi Owusu-Ansah, the words are so unpronounceable that it seems impossible to figure out what they spell out. Then, suddenly, it all comes together:

Dallas Cowboys kick/punt returner Akwasi Owusu-Ansah
** Kick us: That is so awkward/unpronounceable. Slur away. **

You have to admit you never thought I'd get "unpronounceable" out of one of these.

Click on the image below to make it bigger.

Don't worry, that won't last for long.

** If running the Wildcat is so important to Andy Reid when Kevin Kolb is the starting QB, why wasn't backup Mike Kafka used at all on Sunday when QB Mike Vick started?

** We're two weeks in, but Dad and I are still tied in the weekly picks. Tampa Bay is 2-0 in games so far this season, and I'm 0-2 in accurately picking how Tampa Bay will perform so far.

** FYI, Reggie Bush broke his leg and is out for six weeks. I'm not a doctor, but I would have guessed against him healing in time to go out trick-or-treating this year.

** The Eagles haven't been happy with RB Mike Bell so far, so they've signed RB Joique Bell to help with rushing duties. Apparently they don't know that people with other last names are available. As a result, Hank Baskett got released for the 37th time. And this week's failed onside kick recovery wasn't even his fault.