2010 fantasy recap, week 5

Roy Halladay got all the attention for his no-hitter to open the playoffs last Wednesday, but his was not the only no-hitter of note last week. Here's a look at some of the others:

** Reds 3B Scott Rolen: Two no hitters, in games 1 and 2 of the series (0 for 7, with 5 Ks)
** Eagles DT Trevor Laws: No tackles in Sunday's game against the 49ers
** NBC: Network didn't have a single non-sports program in the top 20 watched shows last week.
** Reds P Nick Massett: Only Reds reliever not to hit any batters in game 2.
** Phillies P Joe Blanton: Allowed no hits (in zero appearances).

QB: Tony Romo, 29.14 pts – started by Heidi
RB: Matt Forte, 32.07 pts – started by Jo
WR: Hakeem Nicks, 32.67 pts – started by Bobert
TE: Marcedes Lewis, 19.60 pts – sitting on ChampMike’s bench
K: Josh Scobee, 22.50 pts – started by NewMike
DEF: Oakland, 36.00 pts – sitting on the wire
D: Quintin Mikell, 14.50 pts – sitting on the wire

Another week without a single QB breaking the 30-point barrier, and another week where a defense was the top point getter. Weird. Just weird.

"Really bad QBs" edition
3rd place: Jake Delhomme, -0.12 pts -- sitting on the wire
2nd place: Matt Moore, -2.60 pts -- sitting on the wire
1st place: Todd Collins, -6.72 pts -- sitting on the wire

A little more analysis: On Sunday, you had a 39.6 QB rating (zero of 1 for zero yards). Delhomme was 12 of 23 for 97 yards with 2 INT (a 30.5 rating). Moore was 5 of 10 for 35 yards with 2 INT (an 18.8 rating). Collins was 6 of 16 for 32 yards with 4 INT (an incredible 6.2 rating, six times worse than you).

In all my time doing recaps I can't remember a fantasy score worse than Collins posted Sunday. It should be noted that he also had a negative score last week (-0.52 pts), meaning in the last two weeks you've been worth seven more fantasy points than him. That's a full touchdown and extra point, for anyone scoring at home.

FYI, Heidi started the St. Louis defense this week, which was worth -5.00 pts. That ain't good.

** For the season the Broncos have more penalty yards (329) than rushing yards (259). Despite that, at 2-3 they're tied for second place in their division.

** For the season the Bears have the 9th-worst pass offense and the 8th-worst rush offense in the league. Naturally, they also have the best record in the league at 4-1.

** For the season the Cardinals have allowed 50 more points than they've scored, the third-worst point differential in the league. But the team is still 3-2 and leading their division.

** For the season the Patriots have the worst field goal percentage and have only four punt returns. Of course, they are the top scoring team per game in the league, with 32.5 points per contest.

Analysis: Everyone in the NFL sucks, except for the 0-5 Bills, the 0-5 Panthers and the 0-5 49ers. They super suck.

NBC commentator Chris Collinsworth on Sunday actually said Eagles QB Kevin Kolb was running the Eagles offense "like Joe Montana," then later said 49ers QB Alex Smith ran the two-minute drill "the same way Joe Montana would do it." Kolb is the 19th-rated passer in the league, Smith the 27th, but apparently Collingsworth thinks either could win four Super Bowls tomorrow.

However, those comments weren't quite as stupid as the analysis following Roy Halladay's no-hitter last week.

On the700level.com, commenter KennyH wrote that "To me, there is no question that was the greatest pitching performance in Phils history. Anyone disagree?" To recap, this was the second no-hitter in MLB post-season history. Does KennyH really think he's going out on a limb with this? Is someone arguing that the two-run, six inning appearance by P Joe Blaton in 2008 was better than a no-hitter?

But the Delaware County Times managed to top even that, with a story titled "Halladay's no-hitter is a hit with area bars." Apparently, a lot of Philly sports fans were happy following the no-hitter. I never would have guess that if not for this Pulitzer expose.

** The Twins have now lost 12 straight playoff games, including nine in a row to the Yankees. So, thanks for giving New York the easiest first round possible their last three trips to the post-season, Minnesota.

** All that snow from last winter? It came from Minnesota. The average high there in January doesn't break 20 degrees C. The record low there was -60 degrees, set in 1996. That's not normal, Minnesota.

** The Vikings players and fans straight-up begged QB Brett Favre to come back this year. Since then, he's played terrible and gotten embroiled in a sex scandal. The site Deadspin.com last week posted alleged pictures of his ... um ... private areas. Thanks for that image, Minnesota.

** F. Scott Fitzgerald, the author of The Great Gatsby, is from Minnesota. That book is terrible. Thanks a lot, jerks.

** In 2007 the Timberwolves traded F Kevin Garnett to the Celtics for a high draft pick and spare parts. Since then the Wolves have won 61 games in three seasons, while the Celtics have won one championship and had another finals appearance. Thanks for giving Boston that much-needed lift, Minnesota.

** They still employ WR Greg Lewis.

The Cowboys lost again this week, dropping them to 1-3 on the season. This has shocked many national pundits, but a closer look at the players shows this should have been expected. Just look at their new fullback, for example:

New Dallas Fullback Chris Gronkowski
** Droll hacks: Sucking is all we know. Barf. **

I feel like he should have a more positive outlook. It might help them win a few more games.

Click on the image below to make it bigger.

Huge weeks for ChampMike, Bob and Joanna – all three topped 150 pts, and ChampMike hit 175. But that wasn’t quite enough to wrest first place away from me just yet. Only 11 points separate the top three, and the difference between first place and eighth place is still less than 100 points. So everyone still has a chance.

Except Anthony.

** Romo got a win on Sunday. No, not Tony Romo -- his Cowboys lost. But around the same time Giants P Sergio Romo got a win for his club over the Braves, mostly by not throwing three interceptions to the opposing team.

** I finally picked up a game on Dad, so I'm only down three on the year. But, if we're just counting weeks won, both of us have a record of 1-1, with three ties. So, in that sense, I've already caught up.

** Just for fun this week, on an old copy of Madden for the PS2, I tried to trade Randy Moss for a third-round draft pick. The game rejected that as too absurd. And I though those games were supposed to be realistic...

** The Philadelphia reunion continues this week, with Pat Burrell returning to Citizens Bank Park with the Giants on Saturday. Remember, earlier this year, the Philly crowd applauded Burrell's homecoming, and he promptly hit a home run in response. A few weeks later, Jim Thome returned to Philadelphia, was applauded in his first at-bat back, and promptly hit a home run in response. I'm a big Burrell fan, but let's not cheer when he comes up to the plate this time, OK?