2010 fantasy recap, week 7

Since there won't be a victorious singing of "High Hopes" at the end of this baseball season, I thought I'd lessen the blow with a happy, parting baseball thought from Randy Miller's recently released biography of Harry Kalas. Here's the close of Harry's Hall of Fame induction speech:

This is to the Philadelphia fan
To laud your passion as best I can
Your loyalty is unsurpassed
Be the Fightins in first or last
We come to the park each day
Looking forward to another fray
Because we know you'll be there
We know you really care
You give the opposing pitcher fits
Because, as one loyalist shouts, "everybody hits!"
To be sure, in Philly, there might be some boos
Because you passionate fans, like the manager, hate to lose
Your reaction to the action on the field that you impart
Spurs us broadcasters to call the game with enthusiasm and heart
We feel your passion through and through
Philadelphia fans, I love you

QB: Ryan Fitzpatrick, 36.96 pts -- sitting on the wire
RB: Darren McFadden, 44.57 pts -- sitting on Jim's bench
WR: Kenny Britt, 40.50 pts -- started by Jim
TE: Todd Heap, 18.93 pts -- sitting on Jeff's bench
K: Olindo Mare, 18.00 pts -- sitting on the wire
DEF: Washington, 28.00 pts -- sitting on the wire
D: DeAngelo Williams, 19.50 pts -- sitting on the wire

Remember last week, when I say we all did a terrible job starting the right players? Nevermind. Keep reading...

"Skill players" edition
3rd Place: Mike Thomas, -1.02 pts -- started by Anthony
2nd Place: Jason Wright, -2.00 pts -- sitting on the wire
1st Place: Max Hall, -2.56 pts -- sitting on the wire

Max Hall, our favorite gym air conditioner setting, makes his second appearance on this list, and Anthony's shrewd player management skills led him to start three WRs who together totaled just 3.69 pts this week. But he was in good company with the poor fantasy strategy this week.

Jim cost himself 42 points with one poor RB decision and started an injured kicker. I cost myself 27 pts with one bad WR move. Joanna started a kicker and a defensive player on a bye. Paul forgot to start a second defensive player altogether.

We're almost at the halfway point of the season, players. Let's get it in gear already.

On Monday the New York Football Giants dismantled the Cowboys, raising their record to 5-2 (and dropping their rivals to a beautiful 1-5). That's tied for the best mark in the NFC. On Tuesday ESPN analyst Matt Millen called them "clearly the best team in the conference." Here's why they're not:

** QB Eli Manning leads the NFC in TD passes (14) but also in interceptions (11). He has also lost four fumbles so far this year, and his QB rating puts him just behind Seneca Wallace and just before Chad Henne in passing efficiency.

** Those five wins? Three came against teams with just one win on the season (Lions, Panthers and Cowboys). Another came against the Bears, when Chicago had two QBs injured in the game.

** The Giants boast the #2 defense in the league, as measured by yards surrendered. But in terms of points, they're in the bottom half of the league, with the 18th ranked D.

** If Matt Millen says you're a great team, you definitely suck.

On Saturday, during the Auburn/LSU game, the CBS announcers could barely contain their giddiness from the opening kickoff:

"It's a beautiful day here as the Tigers take on the Tigers."
"After that score, the Tigers lead 7-0 over the Tigers."
"Boy, the Tigers defense is really taking it to the Tigers offense so far."

I only listened to the first quarter. I got it. Both teams have the same nickname. It's a unbelievable hilarious coincidence. I haven't checked for sure, but I imagine it only happens EVERY YEAR since there are seven FBS schools who are named the Tigers (There are also four Wildcats, three Cougars, and a pair of Cowboys, Broncos, and Bears, oh my.)

Maybe, instead of laughing at their originality, next time they could just announce the game. Thanks.

And, again, for the record, everything Tim McCarver said during the NLCS was stupider than that, but if I retyped it and allowed you to read it, I could be brought up on endangerment charges.

The NFL announced last week it will crack down on hard hits, in an effort to improve safety for the players during games. Here's a list of other possible rule changes to ensure that players won't suffer long-term effects because of dangerous field conditions:

** To help players will possible heart conditions, no one will be allowed to look directly at Brad Childress' ugly face.

** To ensure that weaker players aren't injured, the Rams will no longer be allowed to play with the rest of the league.

** To preserve players mental faculties, Joe Buck will no longer be allowed to announce games.

** To prevent the damnation of all players' souls, no players will be allowed to sign with the Cowboys ... unless it's Brett Favre. He has already sold his soul to the devil.


You can learn a lot about a football team by looking at the big guys up front. So, when you examine Dallas' starting offensive guards closely, what do you find?

Cowboys right guard Leonard Davis
** Braggart disavows children. Do you? **

Cowboys left guard Montrae Holland
** Troll dreams an ungodly batch of woe **

You know, "vile" is an anagram for "evil." And any other way you arrange Cowboys players names, they're still vile and evil.

Click on the image below to make it bigger.


Another giant week for Bob (spurred by the three New York Giants on his team) vaults him way into first place. The gap between him and second is about the same as the gap between second and seventh. But he'll get his when his bye weeks come up soon.

** I dropped another one to Dad (thanks, Minnesota) and now sit back two in the yearly picks. On the plus side, I did pick the Tampa Bay game right for the first time all year.

** For the record, I ridiculed the Panthers in this column last week, and they responded by going out and getting their first win of the season. Good for them. That's the kind of moxie that can turn a 3-13 season into a 5-11 campaign. Go get 'em, guys!