2012 fantasy recap -- week 13

Outgoing head coach Andy Reid announced that Nick Foles will start the rest of the season as QB for the Eagles, possibly ending the Mike Vick era in Philadelphia. Here's a look back at Vick's illustrious tenure with the birds and the 46 games he appeared in:

First 24 games: 32 TDs, 9 turnovers
Last 22 games: 31 TDs, 32 turnovers


First 24 games: 17-7 record
Last 22 games: 10-12 record

First 24 games: Two playoff appearances
Last 22 games: Zero playoff appearances


First 24 games: $5.38 million salary
Last 22 games: $22.5 million salary

I volunteer to drive him to the airport for his trip out of town.

QB: Andrew Luck, 37.44 pts -- started by Bobert
WR: Calvin Johnson, 30.40 pts -- started by Joel
RB: Bryce Brown, 31.83 pts -- started by Dad
TE: Brandon Myers, 28.67 pts -- started by Ant
K: Jason Hanson, 18.00 pts -- started by Jeff
DEF: Houston, 24.00 pts -- started by ChampMike
D: Von Miller, 15.00 pts -- on the wire

Ahhhhhh, so close. The league actually only started one of the top 20 individual defensive starters this week, somehow overlooking such luminaries as Mitch Unrein and Morgan Burnett.

But at least one of us had the sense to pick up Bryce Brown, who is quickly becoming the greatest fantasy player never to start in a win. The Eagles just find a new way to stick it to you every week.

"HaHa, New York sucks" edition

3rd place: Jets Kahlil Bell, -0.87 pts -- on the wire
2nd place: Bills Justin Rogers, -1.00 pts -- on the wire
1st place: Jets Mark Sanchez, -1.42 pts -- on the wire

Sanchez, who got benched in the third quarter of his team's 7-6 win over Arizona, threw for 97 yards and three interceptions on 21 attempts. And while he was the worst fantasy player of the week, he might not have been the worst quarterback on the field Sunday. Arizona QB Ryan Lundley passed for just 72 yards in 31 attempts, but threw only one pick. In other news, Tim Tebow laughed so hard he re-injured his ribs.

** The Eagles win their last four games, and finish 7-9.
** The Giants lose their last four games, and finish 7-9.
** The Cowboys lose their last four games, and finish 6-10.
** The Redskins lose three of their last four games, but beat the Cowboys, and finish 7-9.

That would create a three-way tie atop the NFC East. The Redskins would win the division, based on their 4-2 record win division games. The Eagles would finish in second place, with a 3-3 record. The Giants would have only a 2-4 record.

If the Cowboys beat the Redskins in their second meeting, they'd win the division in the scenario above (and the Eagles would finish second). If there is a four-way 7-9 tie among the teams, the Eagles would actually finish last, by virtue of their 4-8 record in the NFC.

There is no scenario where the Eagles can get a wild card or win the division. Welcome to two consecutive non-playoff years.

During Sunday's Ravens game, CBS play-by-play announcer Jim Nance was killing time and started talking about Baltimore's stunning fourth-and-29 conversion in overtime a week earlier to beat the Chargers. Partner analyst Phil Simms chimed in with this gem:

"If the Ravens go on to win the Super Bowl, that's going to be the reason why."

Right now, the Ravens seem like a lock for the playoffs, with their 9-3 record giving them a two-game lead  in their division. Without that win last week, they'd be 8-4 -- not as good, but it's hardly a season-saving victory.It's doubtful that win will be the only reason they make the playoffs.

But, let's go wild and explore Simm's comment. Baltimore gets in the Super Bowl as a #2 seed. They beat the Broncos and the Texans, then square off against the Giants in the championship game. Does anyone even remember that they beat the Chargers? Does anyone quote that November game as the reason they ripped through the post-season?

If the Ravens win the Super Bowl, I think it'll be because of the third-and-7 they converted in the second quarter of their loss to the Eagles. Why? Because. That's why.

Bengals LB Takeo Spikes set a dubious mark this season -- he has now played 215 games without ever seeing the post-season, a new NFL record. His current Cincinnati squad would finish seventh in the conference (and outside the playoffs) if the season ended today.

Here's just how long his drought has been:

** Patriots QB Tom Brady has only played 173 regular season games in his career ... but played 22 post-season games.

** In the last 15 years, Spikes has missed only 20 games (and started 211 of his 215) and recorded more than 1000 tackles. 

** WR Randy Moss entire career -- including 12 playoff games -- has begun and ended while Spikes' streak has continued.

** The Eagles only missed the playoffs twice from 2000 to 2010. One of those misses was 2007, when Spikes played his only season in Philadelphia.

** The next closest player on the playoff-less steak is Buffalo K Ryan Lindell, who has played in 23 fewer games than Spikes. 

Ernie Sims used to be an Eagle too, but in October he signed on to be a member of the Cowboys rather than take the respectable route and retire from football. I don't remember him being a particularly evil player in his time here -- In fact, I remember reading a story about him visiting elderly patients and new mothers in local hospitals. I'm sure he hasn't changed much in the last few years ...

** Cowboys Dallas Linebacker Ernie Sims
Car weeny -- Me smack old seniors, ill babies  

In many ways, signing with Dallas is like being bitten by a zombie. You're infected right away, unless you cut your arm off in time.

Week 13 standings

Another good week for Sam extends his lead. He's currently beating me in two leagues now, and yesterday he asked me who Trent Dilfer was, because he had never heard of him. Just letting you know in case you thought life was fair.

** Picked up one more against Dad, now I'm only five games back in the weekly picks. I'm so close, I can feel victory...

** The Eagles fired their defensive line coach on Monday. It makes sense, because if you had to point to one failing on this team, it would be any player or coach you can think of.

** If any of you have the power to make Jamaal Charles and Andy Dalton into superstars just for next week, my wallet and paid fantasy football league would thank you greatly.

**  It just occurred to me that I really should have made a ton of Brian Westbrook jokes in this column, on account of it being my 36th birthday. Maybe next year. I'll start saving up my Sean Considine jokes for then.