Fantasy recap week #17

44 reasons yesterday was
the perfect sports ending to 2008



Reason 1 –
     It didn’t change the fact the Phillies still won the World Series.
Reason 2 –
     It marked the first time all four major sports teams made the playoffs in the same year since 1981.
Reason 3 –
     The Eagles were 3 for 3 in the red zone … and 2 for 2 scoring TDs when the Cowboys were in the red zone.
Reasons 4 to 10 –
     One for each of the turnovers Tony Romo has had in the last two December games against the Iggles (7)
Reason 11 –
     World Series Champion Jimmy Rollins was at the game to cheer on the Birds.
Reason 12 –
     Eagles backup QB Kevin Kolb was not allowed to attempt a pass in the game, but Dallas backup QB Brooks Bollinger was.
Reason 13 –
     You know somewhere Jaws was still saying, “Yeah, but the Soul won the Arena Bowl.”
Reasons 14 to 19 –
     One each for the number of years it has been since T.O. appeared in a playoff win (6)
Reason 20 –
     Brian Dawkins.
Reasons 21 to 28 –
     One for each point from fumble #1 that was returned for a TD.(7)
Reasons 28 to 35 –
     One for each point from fumble #2 that was returned for a TD (7)
Reasons 36 to 43 –
     One for each TD McNabb has thrown in the last three home games (8)
Reason 44 –
     All that happened against Dallas.




Top performers for the year,
drafted players



QB: Drew Brees, 371.66 pts – Bob (round 4)
RB: DeAngelo Williams, 304.57 pts – Ant (round 12)
WR: Andre Johnson, 269.50 pts – Bob (round 2)
TE: Tony Gonzalez, 227.03 pts – Neal (round 5)
K: Stephen Gostkowski, 159.50 pts – Mike (round 10)
D: Josh Wilson, 96.06 pts – Heidi (round 11)
DEF: Baltimore, 239.00 pts – Bob (round 11)
     Nice work by our sophomore star Bob, who clearly has mastered the art of Yahoo’s intricate draft process. I believe the prevailing strategies are “don’t change anything” and “move Eagles up in the rankings” but beyond that I don’t think we’ve had a successful model to build on. Maybe Bob will sell you his secrets next year.
     And for the record, Ant had the first pick, blew it on Westy (the 9th best RB) and still somehow ended up with the best RB for the year. That’s not fair.




Top performers for the year,
undrafted players



QB: Matt Cassel, 287.72 pts – Heidi (Oct. 25 pick-up)
RB: Steve Slaton, 259.83 pts – Mike (Aug. 31 pick-up)
WR: Eddie Royal, 212.53 pts – Dad (Sep. 9 pick-up)
TE: Chris Cooley, 142.10 pts – Dad (Sep. 23 pick-up)
K: John Carney, 150.00 pts-- Jeff (Oct. 28 pick-up)
D: James Harrison, 83.00 pts – Heidi (Sep. 20 pick-up)
DEF: New York Jets, 178.00 pts – Mike (Nov. 5 pick-up)
     Heidi drafted the best defensive player on the year, cut him almost immediately, then picked up the second best guy. I’m not sure I agree with the strategy, but you can’t argue with results.




Worst Performers for the year,
all players




3rd place: Jordan Palmer, -1.96 pts – sitting on the wire
2nd place: Kevin Kolb, -2.04 pts – sitting on the wire
1st place: Bruce Gradkowski, -4.76 pts – sitting on the wire
     Gradkowski managed to steal the title of worst fantasy player of the year from Kolb on the last day of the season, throwing two picks and no touchdowns in only his second appearance of the year. But in those games he posted an impressively awful 2.8 QB rating, far worse than Kolb’s 21.8 rating over six appearances.
     For comparison’s sake, Bucs QB Luke McCown attempted one pass this year, saw it fall incomplete, and posted a 39.6 QB rating.
     But Kolb still does hold the title of the worst performance by a first-day draft pick for the year (Kolb was a second rounder, Gradkowski and Palmer were sixth rounders) and is the only one of the five worst players of the year who gets to go to the playoffs. So maybe he can still push down those lofty numbers.




Andy Reid Blown Call of the Week Award




     So many options this week … Cowboys coach Wade Phillips elects to kick a FG while trailing 44-3 … Bucs coach John Gruden can’t beat the Raiders to get in the playoffs … Denver coach Mike Shanahan loses his last four games to miss the playoffs … Detroit coach Rod Marinelli declares his 0-16 team “the worst ever,” in case we all couldn’t figure it out…
     Aw, heck, let’s just give it to the Mets coaching staff again for that choke job. I just can’t get enough of it.




Stupidest thing I heard this week




     Joe Buck, at the end of Sunday’s broadcast: “The Eagles didn’t just win the game. They won.”
     I’m not missing a word or phrase or anything there. That’s exactly what he said.
     I also double checked the dictionary to make sure “win” and “won” don’t have drastically different meanings, but that didn’t help explain it either.
     So Joe Buck and his funny-shaped head didn’t just win the stupidest comment of the week. He also won it.




Cowboys anagram insult of the week




     I told you last week the anagrams spelled out that the cowpokes wouldn’t make the playoffs. And “Dallas Cowboys Offensive Guard Montrae Holland” didn’t even get to play in Sunday’s loss to the Eagles, but I think his name spoke volumes about exactly what happened on the field:
** D’oh! Lads flog ole boastful caravan, deny more wins.
     I can’t think of a more perfect way to end this year’s anagrams than that. Wait, maybe I can…. Care to take another ride, Montrae?
** A dull envy -- It be golf season now for drama clods. Ha!
     There we go. See you again next season, losers.




Our standings so far




    Coming tomorrow – The full 2008 league wrap-up. Do we have a repeat winner? Did a last-second dark horse overtake the top spot? Can Jeff avoid being compared to the 0-16 Lions?
    Sure, you could just go look up the league standings, but what fun would that be?