Fantasy recap week #16

You think your team sucks




     A quick timeline of what has happened since the Lions last won a game:

-- The Eagles have won 10 games (and tied one more!)
-- The Philadelphia Soul won a world championship and went out of business.
-- The Sixers made the playoffs, signed Elton Brand and injured him.
-- The Flyers won 45 games and two playoff series.
-- The Philadelphia Phillies won 101 games and the World Series.

     By the way, those last three items could all happen again before the Lions win their next game…







Top performers



QB: Phillip Rivers, 35.18 pts – started by Jim
RB: DeAngelo Williams, 34.80 pts – started by Ant
WR: Marques Colston, 27.60 pts – started by Bob
TE: Visanthe Shiancoe, 28.07 pts – sitting on the wire
K: Stephen Gostkowski, 17.00 pts – started by Mike
D: Jason Jones, 15.00 pts – sitting on the wire
DEF: Cincinnati, 32.00 pts – sitting on the wire
     Fun fact: The Bengals defensive total this week was more than their combined total for the last eight weeks (28 pts) and more than half of what the Detroit defense has recorded all year (60 pts).







Worst Performers,
Cleveland players edition



3rd place: Jerome Harrison, -0.10 pts – sitting on the wire
2nd place: Bruce Gradkowski, -1.68 pts – sitting on the wire
1st place: Ken Dorsey, -3.28 pts – sitting on the wire
     This week’s 14-0 embarrassment at the hands of the Bengals saw Browns QBs Gradkowski and Dorsey turn in a joint performance that rivaled the Eagles-Ravens game earlier this year. Consider:

-- The Browns QBs threw four picks combined and no TDs (Kolb and McNabb had four INTs, one fumble and no TDs).
-- The Browns QBs threw for 76 yards to their team but 87 yards to the Bengals DBs (The Eagles QBs threw for 132 yards and saw 163 return yards).
-- The Browns QBs posted QB ratings of 28.2 and 8.3 (McNabb had a 13.2 rating, Kolb a 15.3).

     But at least the Eagles loss came at the hands of the Ravens, a playoff bound team. Getting shut out by the Bengals? I can’t think of anything worse than squaring off against Cincinnati and not getting a win.
     Well, maybe one thing…







Andy Reid Blown Call of the Week Award



     In their season-ending loss to the Maryland Racial Slurs on Sunday (yeah, it’s over) the Eagles faced 14 third downs, one fourth down they opted to try and convert, and a last-second second down play to end the game. Here’s how they broke down:

-- They converted 4 of the 16, including the fourth down (all passes);
-- Five of the 12 failed plays were incomplete passes or sacks;
-- One of the 12 failed plays was a run (five yards on 3rd and nine)
-- The remaining 6 were pass plays short of the first-down marker, including the game-ending pass at the one-inch line.

     So to recap: Faced with critical, game-changing moments, nearly 40 percent of the time Andy Reid drew up pass plays designed to fail. And that’s assuming those other five incompletes were all past the first-down marker.
     Late in the fourth, as the Eagles were struggling to complete a pass, Fox commentator Troy Aikman said he wasn’t surprised that Reid kept ignoring the running game. “When you get in trouble you go back to what you’re comfortable with, and in Andy Reid’s case that means…”
     He said “passing the ball” but I immediately thought of “sucking.”







Stupidest thing I heard this week



     Before Sunday’s games started, Chris Berman told me the Tampa Bay Bucs would not win if their defense didn’t tackle San Diego’s quick RBs and WRs. They even put a graphic at the bottom of the page: “IF TAMPA CAN’T TACKLE THE CHARGERS WILL WIN THE GAME.”
     Sure enough, the Bucs recorded zero tackles in their 41-24 loss.







Top news of the week



    I’m sure you were all shocked to see all the stories about the Seahawks fans pelting the Jets with snowballs on Sunday, and the Patriots fans tossing snowballs at the woeful Cardinals on Sunday afternoon, and the Giants fans throwing snowballs at the Panthers’ team on Sunday night. All of this coming on the heels of Notre Dame fans chucking iceballs at their own players --- it really speaks to the current state of sports.
    Wait, you didn’t hear about any of that? Was there a more tragic snowball story I’ve forgotten about?
    Oh, that’s right – Nothing says more about how rowdy a fan base is than a 40-year-old incident. I’m glad we don’t see that kind of behavior anymore.







Cowboys anagram insult of the week



     Will the Cowboys make the playoffs?
     Short answer? No.
     Long answer? “Dallas Cowboys Offensive Tackle Pat McQuistan” has that spelled out for you:
     ** A setback: Clown team quits. No playoffs, evil cads!
     You have no idea how tough it is to get the word “playoffs” into one of these things.







Our standings so far



1st place: Cougar in Chief, Mike – 2021.92 pts
2nd place: Donnie loves Westy, Ant – 1989.99 pts
3rd place: Awesomenicity, Heidi –1987.15 pts
     And just like that Mike is way ahead again, cruising into the finish with his eyes on the Awesome Cup. Ant or Heidi will need a big final week to overtake the Cougar in Chief, and Bob could still manage an upset with a giant performance by Drew Brees and Willie Parker (but don’t hold your breath).
     Meanwhile, everyone else is playing for pride. Remember, finishing ahead of me gives you the right to taunt me at Draftsgiving. Finishing behind me means taunts in your direction until July.







News and notes



-- Last week, kids. All the games are on Sunday. Let’s make it a good one.
-- Remember, whatever happens, the Phils are still World Series Champions. If you need it on Sunday I have all sorts of recordings and paraphernalia to prove it.