** After Nov. 1 in 2023, QB Jalen Hurts looked erratic and unpredictable. Hurts is neither of those things this season — he is consistently disappointing and underachieving.
** The 2023 team hired Matt Patricia midway through the season in a failed attempt to fix the defense. This season’s team is refusing to make any coaching moves to deal with the gaping holes in their offensive gameplan.
** The 2023 team had RB D’Andre Swift rush for over 1,000 yards over the course of the season. The 2025 team had D’Andre Swift rush for over 1,000 yards against them last Friday.
** The 2023 team had WRs AJ Brown and DeVonta Smith both top 1,000 receiving yds on the season. The 2025 team no longer uses both of those wide receivers for more than half a game, so they can’t reach those marks.
** The Eagles were 10-1 in 2023 before finishing the season 11-6. This season’s team doesn’t look like they can make it to 11 wins.
So it’s no worry that we’re seeing a repeat of 2023 — This team doesn’t seem good enough to reach that bar.
WR: A.J. Brown, 26.10 pts — started by Bob
RB: Bijan Robinson, 26.10 pts — started by me
TE: Brock Bowers, 18.20 pts — started by Joel
K: Evan McPherson, 24.00 pts — started by Joel
DEF: Seattle, 35.00 pts — started by Pop
D: Ernest Jones IV, 14.50 pts — on the wire
Fun fact — all of those first four top performers were on teams that lost. So, maybe fantasy points don’t mean everything. But I’m glad AJ finally got his moment in the sun. In the cold, cold November sun.
Mahomes’ big day (four passing TDs, 291 total yds) put him 0.64 pts ahead of Bills QB Josh Allen in the race for the #1 fantasy player of the season. Rams QB Matthew Stafford is 11 pts back, and Eagles QB Jalen Hurts is only 25 pts behind. Eagles WR Jahan Dotson is 284 fantasy pts behind, which is more than twice the fantasy points he has scored in his last 47 games. It’s not a fair comparison at all, but I just thought I’d remind you that Jahan Dotson is still on this Eagles team, since all of their wideouts get forgotten often.
“Woooow” edition3rd place: Mason Rudolph, -2.00 pts — on the wire
2nd place: Detroit, -3.00 pts — started by Mom D
1st place: Max Brosmer, -3.06 pts — on the wire
The Lions defense hasn’t been good all year, but their absolute stinker at home on Thanksgiving against the division-rival Packers is the low point for the team. They surrendered 31 pts on Thursday, and have just four sacks and one turnover in their last four games.
That would be the most depressing performance of the week if not for Brosmer, the Vikings third-string QB. He is the reason for Seattle posting the best defensive performance of the season so far: Four sacks, four interceptions, one fumble recovery and one TD on a pick from Brosmer that was the worst football play you will ever see.
His QB rating on the day was 32.8, worse than the 39.6 rating you had just dropping the remote on the floor once Sunday (one attempt, zero completions for zero yds). And you also scored more fantasy points than him, with zero. So it is not exaggerating to say you did a better job under center this weekend for the Vikings — even though the team was playing on the other side of the country, hundreds of miles away — than their starting QB did.
** Fox’s college football pregame show is titled “Big Noon Kickoff.” It starts at 11am each Saturday morning and runs until the opening kickoff for the featured game … which happens at 12:15 pm.
I guess the 15-minute delay makes it “big noon.” I still think I’d prefer a normal noon kickoff, and less pontificating ahead of time.
** During halftime of Sunday’s Texans/Colts game, Houston radio play-by-play announcer Marc Vandermeer remarked that the two teams were evenly matched in the first 30 minutes of “this showdown of AFC South leaders.”
Coming into the game, the Colts were 8-3, two games ahead of the 6-5 Texans in the standings. So they were both “leaders” in the division if you consider “anyone in the top three spots in a four-team division” as a leader. Because after the Texans scored an upset, they moved to 7-5 … and stayed in third place, behind the 8-4 Jaguars and 8-4 Colts.
Some people lead from behind, I guess.
** At halftime of the Lions/Packers game, Fox sideline reporter Erin Andrews reported that Detroit coach Dan Campbell had “the perfect encapsulation of the first half” when the two spoke coming out of the locker room:
“He told me, ‘We had four possessions, two punts and two scores. And it could be like that in the second half too.’”
Now that’s sideline insight. I mean, sure, the box score could have told me the possessions and results. And everyone watching the game could have told me the possessions and results. But only a sideline reporter interviewing a coach could give me the insight that the second half could also have possessions and results. That Ohio State sideline reporter from last week could really learn a lesson here.
Ole Miss coach Lane Kiffin left his post at the school this week to take over as the new leader of the LSU Tigers, getting a seven-year contract worth $91 million. He is now one of only three college coaches to make more than $13 million annually. That seems like a lot of money, but when you break it down into other potential purchases for the university, the total doesn’t feel as overwhelming. Here’s what $91 million could buy instead:
** Full in-state tuition (with books) at LSU for 6,979 students ($13,038 each).
** Three new state-of-the-art locker rooms for the football team ($28 million for the last renovation).
** 293 rings from LSU’s 2003 championship season ($31,000 each).
** The entire New Orleans Saints offense this season ($89.1 million in salary).
** 37.9 million NCAA footballs ($23.99 each).
** 28 games from LSU alum Joe Burrow (on a five-year, $275 million contract).
** Brian Kelly, their failed previous coach (a now voided 10-year, $95 million contract).
The Dallas coaching staff signed CB Corey Ballentine from the practice squad to the active roster just ahead of their Thanksgiving contest. It’s Ballentine’s 10th stint with an NFL team, which has led to questions about why he has trouble staying on active rosters. Some coaches have pointed to his inconsistent play, others have wondered if his practice ethic is enough. But if you just examine the letters in his name, you can see the real problem:
New Dallas DB Corey Ballentine
** Worst troll bane — badly cleaned swine
Nobody likes a smelly teammate, except for the Cowboys. They already have the stench of sadness and failure in their locker room.
** Dad and I split our picks for the week, so he remains eight back for the season. He did correctly pick the New Jersey Jets upset over the Falcons on Sunday, a pick that I mocked him for. But while he was right, I feel like anyone who was following that game at all was in the wrong.
** According to the New York Times’ Athletic, the Cowboys have a 41% chance of making the playoffs if they beat the Lions next week and an 8% chance of making the playoffs if they lose to Detroit. C’mon, Jared Goff. Just one more great game, man. That’s all we’re asking for.
** Speaking of that Atlanta loss, the Falcons are 4-8 and would be in line for a top-10 pick next spring if they hadn’t traded the selection to the Rams last year to move up in the 2025 draft and go all in on this season and that’s just the saddest story ever.
Week 13 standings
Family Cup standings
House Doyle: 27-12
House Garrity: 21-18
House Quinn: 16-23
House Shane: 13-24-2
Three teams are in the playoffs — Lexi, Mike and Shelly — which leaves three spots to be decided in the final week. Ollie would need a tremendous amount of bad luck to miss the playoffs, leaving Jim, Grandmom Shane and Jonathan to sort out the final two berths. And what do you know? Jim and Jonathan are playing each other. The winner gets a chance at glory, the loser gets the losers bracket. Lots of pressure on both teams.
Awesome Cup standings
1 — One Plus One is Three SBs (Pop), 1,641.29 pts
2 — Still The Best (Jonathan), 1,626.48 pts
3 — Goederts and Monsterts (Bob), 1,575.78 pts
4 — Saquontum Leap (Capt. Awesome), 1,537.55 pts
5 — City Hands (Mike), 1,516.31 pts
6 — Schwarbombs (Jo), 1,347.08 pts
7 — Vert der Ferks (Ant), 1,342.07 pts
8 — The Fightin Pickles (Sam), 1,279.66 pts
9 — DeVonta’s Inferno (Mom D), 1,252.95 pts
10 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 1,234.83 pts
11 — The B Sharps (Paul), 1,132.43 pts
12 — All Rogers No Sauce (Joel), 1,092.59 pts
Another huge week from Dad finally vaults him into first, with a small cushion over his grandson. But don’t forget about our third-place team — the team that I picked to win it all in my pre-season rankings — making a charge towards the top. Bob’s squad has been lingering all year, and is within striking distance as we head into the final five weeks of the season.
My team? Complete free-fall. I’ve gone from a 20-pts lead in first-place on Nov. 1 to a 105-pts deficit in fourth on Dec. 2. That is not a happy holiday start for my squad.
Week 14 is the last bye week, so it’s the last time you’ll need to worry about getting a surprise zero from an inactive player. But there is still a Thursday game and pitfalls galore before the Eagles play on Monday night, so get those rosters settled early.
** Full in-state tuition (with books) at LSU for 6,979 students ($13,038 each).
** Three new state-of-the-art locker rooms for the football team ($28 million for the last renovation).
** 293 rings from LSU’s 2003 championship season ($31,000 each).
** The entire New Orleans Saints offense this season ($89.1 million in salary).
** 37.9 million NCAA footballs ($23.99 each).
** 28 games from LSU alum Joe Burrow (on a five-year, $275 million contract).
** Brian Kelly, their failed previous coach (a now voided 10-year, $95 million contract).
The Dallas coaching staff signed CB Corey Ballentine from the practice squad to the active roster just ahead of their Thanksgiving contest. It’s Ballentine’s 10th stint with an NFL team, which has led to questions about why he has trouble staying on active rosters. Some coaches have pointed to his inconsistent play, others have wondered if his practice ethic is enough. But if you just examine the letters in his name, you can see the real problem: New Dallas DB Corey Ballentine
** Worst troll bane — badly cleaned swine
Nobody likes a smelly teammate, except for the Cowboys. They already have the stench of sadness and failure in their locker room.
** Dad and I split our picks for the week, so he remains eight back for the season. He did correctly pick the New Jersey Jets upset over the Falcons on Sunday, a pick that I mocked him for. But while he was right, I feel like anyone who was following that game at all was in the wrong.** According to the New York Times’ Athletic, the Cowboys have a 41% chance of making the playoffs if they beat the Lions next week and an 8% chance of making the playoffs if they lose to Detroit. C’mon, Jared Goff. Just one more great game, man. That’s all we’re asking for.
** Speaking of that Atlanta loss, the Falcons are 4-8 and would be in line for a top-10 pick next spring if they hadn’t traded the selection to the Rams last year to move up in the 2025 draft and go all in on this season and that’s just the saddest story ever.
Week 13 standings
Family Cup standings
House Doyle: 27-12
House Garrity: 21-18
House Quinn: 16-23
House Shane: 13-24-2
Three teams are in the playoffs — Lexi, Mike and Shelly — which leaves three spots to be decided in the final week. Ollie would need a tremendous amount of bad luck to miss the playoffs, leaving Jim, Grandmom Shane and Jonathan to sort out the final two berths. And what do you know? Jim and Jonathan are playing each other. The winner gets a chance at glory, the loser gets the losers bracket. Lots of pressure on both teams.
Awesome Cup standings
1 — One Plus One is Three SBs (Pop), 1,641.29 pts
2 — Still The Best (Jonathan), 1,626.48 pts
3 — Goederts and Monsterts (Bob), 1,575.78 pts
4 — Saquontum Leap (Capt. Awesome), 1,537.55 pts
5 — City Hands (Mike), 1,516.31 pts
6 — Schwarbombs (Jo), 1,347.08 pts
7 — Vert der Ferks (Ant), 1,342.07 pts
8 — The Fightin Pickles (Sam), 1,279.66 pts
9 — DeVonta’s Inferno (Mom D), 1,252.95 pts
10 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 1,234.83 pts
11 — The B Sharps (Paul), 1,132.43 pts
12 — All Rogers No Sauce (Joel), 1,092.59 pts
Another huge week from Dad finally vaults him into first, with a small cushion over his grandson. But don’t forget about our third-place team — the team that I picked to win it all in my pre-season rankings — making a charge towards the top. Bob’s squad has been lingering all year, and is within striking distance as we head into the final five weeks of the season.
My team? Complete free-fall. I’ve gone from a 20-pts lead in first-place on Nov. 1 to a 105-pts deficit in fourth on Dec. 2. That is not a happy holiday start for my squad.
Week 14 is the last bye week, so it’s the last time you’ll need to worry about getting a surprise zero from an inactive player. But there is still a Thursday game and pitfalls galore before the Eagles play on Monday night, so get those rosters settled early.
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