To pour salt on an open wound, the Eagles suffered multiple serious injuries in their loss to Dallas Sunday evening. Here’s a recap of some of the most worrisome ones:
** S Andrew Mukuba: Fractured ankle. It appears the rookie’s season will come to an early end.
** S Reed Blankenship: Thigh contusion. He’s questionable for this Friday’s game, putting the team’s depth in the secondary in doubt.
** CB Adoree' Jackson: Concussion. Coaches are still trying to decide if this injury hurts or improves the Eagles secondary situation.
** QB Jalen Hurts: Throat injury. It’s unclear exactly when the damage occurred, but Hurts could be seen on the field choking violently throughout the third and fourth quarters.
** WR AJ Brown: His feelings remain hurt.
** RB Saquon Barkley: Stomach bug. Or maybe he’s just getting sick of all this offensive nonsense, it’s hard to tell.
WR: Jaxon Smith-Njigba, 27.53 pts — started by Jo
RB: Jahmyr Gibbs, 48.40 pts — on Jeff’s bench
TE: Hunter Henry, 17.17 pts — started by Jeff
K: Andy Borregales, 18.00 pts — started by Mike
DEF: Green Bay, 21.00 pts — started by Bob
D: Myles Garrett, 12.00 pts — started by Jonathan
Over the last three weeks, Gibbs has scored 97.30 pts, more than any other player in fantasy football. Jeff has kept him on his bench all three weeks, which is why he’s in 10th place instead of 7th. Somehow, starting Hassan Haskins — the Chargers RB on injured reserve — has not proven to be a better strategy. But at least he got those big TE points.
Second week in a row that Garrett — a defensive player, remember — scored in double digits. He has 14 sacks in the last five games. Cincinnati has 15 sacks for the whole year.
Jalen Hurts (32.86 pts) outscored Dak Prescott (31.06 pts) in fantasy, so I’m sure that’s all that really matters.
“Names with a P” edition3rd place: Myles Price, -0.32 pts — on the wire
2nd place: Xavier Gipson, -0.92 pts — on the wire
1st place: Tampa Bay, -2.00 pts — on Jo’s bench
Only one defense ended up in the red this week, and nobody started them. I think we’ve all finally turned a corner…
Gipson, the Eagles punt returner, whose name is not Gibson, remember it has a P in it because he’s a punt returner, fumbled in the fourth quarter to give Dallas a TD and the Eagles their first loss of the month. So, I dunno, maybe just forget him.
** Eagles coach Nick Sirianni summed up the Dallas loss on Sunday with this profound statement: "At the end of the day, we weren't good enough."
No, Nick. From dinnertime through the whole second half, you weren’t good enough. The problem was your offense thought the end of the day started at 6 p.m., right around halftime. Maybe score some second-half points.
** During the third quarter of Ohio State’s game on Saturday, just after the Buckeyes scored a touchdown, Buckeyes Radio sideline reporter Tyler Danburg gave this report:
“Coach Ryan Day just had a meeting with three different referees after that play. He was hot, and he gave it to them. It’s not clear what he was upset about. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”
The broadcast team never did discover what the issue was. You know what could have helped clear up the mystery? If the crew had a dedicated employee who could give an on-the-ground synopsis of what’s happening during the game. You know, like giving a live report right from the sideline.
Not sure what we’d call that person, but it could be an incredibly useful job.
There are NFL players who celebrate Thanksgiving, and then there are the players who were named to elevate the holiday to another level:
** Colts CB Sauce Gardner: Gotta have something to put on top of the meal.
** Bears DE Montez Sweat: M. Sweat is pretty much the same as “Meat Sweats.”
** Lions CB Kendall Fuller: That’s not too full of food, just more full.
** DE Tyrus Wheat: All dinner rolls are good dinner rolls.
** 49ers CB Eli Apple: I can just tell he was teased as “Eli Apple Pie” throughout grade school.
** Chiefs WR Jimmy Holiday: Ironically, he was cut from the team on Monday and will be … off for the holiday.
** Raiders OC Chip Kelly: He got fired this week, so belongs on this list because he’s a dead duck.
The Cowboys won’t be eating dinner with their families this Thursday, because they have a game scheduled every Thanksgiving (because they stole the Lions 30-year-old tradition starting in 1966). But the team still takes time each year to observe the celebration, with a moment of reflection in the locker room before kickoff. And what do the players think about? It’s pretty obvious, if you just rearrange a few letters in the holiday phrase:
** Colts CB Sauce Gardner: Gotta have something to put on top of the meal.
** Bears DE Montez Sweat: M. Sweat is pretty much the same as “Meat Sweats.”
** Lions CB Kendall Fuller: That’s not too full of food, just more full.
** DE Tyrus Wheat: All dinner rolls are good dinner rolls.
** 49ers CB Eli Apple: I can just tell he was teased as “Eli Apple Pie” throughout grade school.
** Chiefs WR Jimmy Holiday: Ironically, he was cut from the team on Monday and will be … off for the holiday.
** Raiders OC Chip Kelly: He got fired this week, so belongs on this list because he’s a dead duck.
The Cowboys won’t be eating dinner with their families this Thursday, because they have a game scheduled every Thanksgiving (because they stole the Lions 30-year-old tradition starting in 1966). But the team still takes time each year to observe the celebration, with a moment of reflection in the locker room before kickoff. And what do the players think about? It’s pretty obvious, if you just rearrange a few letters in the holiday phrase:
Cowboys players give thanks
** A gawky snort: Psychos be evil
It’s one thing to be evil. It’s a whole extra level to be thankful for being evil, and to laugh about it. But what else would you expect from these guys?
** Picked up two games on Dad this weekend, thanks to the Chiefs overtime win against the Colts. That puts me up eight for the season, with only six weeks of regular season football left. I’m still picking winners at a 70 percent clip, even if I can’t get any Dolphins games right.
** With their overtime loss to the Lions on Sunday, the 2-10 New Jersey Giants were the first team eliminated from playoff contention. Somehow, the 1-10 Tennessee Titans still have a path, but even I don’t have time to figure that out. But it would involve a wild card spot.
** Credit to G: The Eagles are asking fans to wear all black for the Black Friday game this week. Or because they’re expecting a wake for this lifeless offense. Either way, it’s a dark day ahead.
Week 12 standings
Family Cup standings
House Doyle: 24-12
House Garrity: 20-16
House Quinn: 15-21
House Shane: 12-22-2
Family Cup alternate standings
House Shane: 4,348.50 total pts
House Doyle: 4,215.98 total pts
House Garrity: 3,799.40 total pts
House Quinn: 3,687.10 total pts
Look at that ridiculousness again. House Shane has three of the top six scoring teams, so naturally we also have two of the three worst records in the league. Jonathan — the highest scorer in the league by 150 pts — is in fourth place, barely hanging onto a playoff berth. Meanwhile, Lexi’s team (1,374.62 pts) is 9-3 and in first place, even though they have scored three fewer points than Emma’s team (1,377.18 pts) which is 1-10-1 and cannot catch a single break.
With the playoffs just two weeks away, Lexi, Mike and Shelly have all but wrapped up playoff berths, while Jonathan, Ollie, Jim and Grandmom Shane are fighting for three available spots. Shane and Jimmy may technically still be alive, but there’s too much math for me to figure that out.
Awesome Cup standings
1 — Still The Best (Jonathan), 1,528.84 pts
2 — One Plus One is Three SBs (Pop), 1,495.03 pts
3 — Saquontum Leap (Capt. Awesome), 1,449.34 pts
4 — Goederts and Monsterts (Bob), 1,439.80 pts
5 — City Hands (Mike), 1,402.19 pts
6 — Schwarbombs (Jo), 1,267.42 pts
7 — Vert der Ferks (Ant), 1,256.51 pts
8 — The Fightin Pickles (Sam), 1,184.45 pts
9 — DeVonta’s Inferno (Mom D), 1,176.08 pts
10 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 1,150.96 pts
11 — The B Sharps (Paul), 1,042.51 pts
12 — All Rogers No Sauce (Joel), 960.21 pts
The champ is starting to pull away again. Jonathan scored 142.62 pts this week — second only to Bob’s 145.36 — and widened his nine-point lead from last week to a 33-point lead this week. Dad is trying to keep pace while Bob is charging up, while my team had a dreadful 86.49 pts performance and is sliding backwards quickly. Jo and Ant remain mired in the middle of the pack, and then comes the cliff.
Lots of roster challenges this week — check your teams before noon on Thursday, and then again before the Eagles game on Friday, and then again Sunday morning, and then maybe there’s a Tuesday game next week? Just check every few hours. The NFL doesn’t think you pay enough attention to them anyway.
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