House Doyle: 30-12
House Garrity: 23-19
House Quinn: 16-26
House Shane: 14-26-2
Family Cup -- regular season points standings
House Shane: 4,997.24 pts
House Doyle: 4,876.34 pts
House Garrity: 4,477.92 pts
House Quinn: 4,239.26 pts
Family Cup — playoff bracket results
1 — Chief Little Owl: Jim
2 — Shamrock Meats Inc.: Mike
3 — I love axolotls!: Lexi
4 — Nacho Team: Shelly
5 — @liver: Ollie
6 — Big Brain Jonathan: Jonathan
Jim’s romp through the season culminated this week with a victory lap over Mike’s team, which posted its second-worst score of the season when the points mattered the most. Conversely, Jim’s squad — led by QB Matt Stafford and WR Puka Nacua — was only the fifth-highest scoring squad of the regular season but turned on the magic when it counted, averaging 145-plus fantasy points in the three-week postseason.
Family Cup — loser bracket results
7 — Crazy Grandmom Malice: Grandmom Shane
8 — Emma’s Unicorn Blobfish Empire: Emma
9 — 2025 Yards in 2025: Pop Shane
10 — Jimmy’s Chicken Shaq: Jimmy
11 — Warminster Nightmare: Shane
12 — Team Team: Tommy
Emma’s run at partial glory came to a halt in the seventh place game, where she lost a close contest to her grandmother. Still, winning three of the last four games of the year was an impressive turnaround for a team that was 1-11-1 after 13 weeks. Grandmom claims the title of queen of the also-rans, and the pride of knowing that she elevated Team Quinn to the best of her ability.
Season analysis
Of course, this league was never about individual glory. This was about establishing the supremacy of one family over the rest. With that in mind, we need to look at how to fairly evaluate the full resume of each lineage.
The regular season seems clear enough: Each win is worth 100 points. Ties are worth 50. And all regular season points are totaled for each team.
The playoffs are another matter. Winning the title has to mean something, so that will be worth nearly a season’s worth of games: 1200 points. Second gets 800, third 600. Fourth gets 400, fifth 300, sixth 200. The consolation bracket is for pride and practice, but earns no points.
Team pride has to count for something. Therefore, the top team name earns 75 points, second place 50, and third 25. And it’s pretty clear that Emma’s Unicorn Blobfish Empire runs away with the top award here. The moniker speaks to the team ownership, its philosophy, its mascot and its focus. Warminster Nightmare follows a similar thread, and earns the second place spot. Mike’s tribute to Rocky — Shamrock Meats Inc. — deserves third.
And finally, it takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends. That’s why we’re awarding 10 points to Grandmom Shane for being confident enough to go 5-0 against her grandchildren this season, not caring at all how those defeats may upset or discourage them. Some grandparents may have spoiled their grandchildren by allowing a win or two to slip away, but not her.
With that in mind, here are the final family standings:
Family Cup — final season standings
4th place: House Quinn, 5899.26 total points(Grandmom Shane, Tommy, Shane)
3rd place: House Shane, 6772.24 total points
(Jonathan, Emma, Pop Shane)
2nd place: House Garrity, 8377.92 total points
(Jim, Shelly, Jimmy)
1st place: House Doyle, 9601.34 total points
(Mike, Lexi, Ollie)
Jim’s heroic championship run wasn’t enough to wrest the title away from Team Doyle, who placed all three of their squads in the top five of the standings. It was an impressive display of coaching strategy and ruthlessness. And in the end, they are the first group to be honored with their name etched into the Family Cup:
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