2009 fantasy recap, week #3

Pop Quiz: What do these 106 NFL players have in common?

Mike Wallace, Davone Bess, Josh Reed, Andre Caldwell, Derek Fine, Heath Miller, Jerome Harrison, Kelley Washington, Jabar Gaffney, Alge Crumpler, Ladell Betts, Sidney Rice, Legedu Naanee, Mike Furrey, Josh Morgan, Sean Ryan, Jeremy Maclin, Kevin Faulk, Sammy Morris, Rock Cartwright, Dennis Northcutt, Jason Snelling, Vonta Leach, Jamaal Charles, Keenan Burton, Julian Edelman, Jordy Nelson, Donnie Avery, Austin Collie, Malcom Floyd, Lousaka Polite, Brian Finneran, Justin Fargas, Will Heller, Jerheme Urban, Marty Booker, Derrick Ward, Donald Lee, Bobby Wade, Brad Smith, Dustin Keller, Chansi Stuckey, Joey Galloway, Isaac Bruce, Sammie Stroughter, Louis Murphy, Travis Beckum, Brandon Pettigrew, Jacoby Jones, Greg Camarillo, Nate Washington, Leonard Weaver, Stephen Spach, Jason Avant, Daniel Fells, David Anderson, Zach Miller, Deion Branch, Chris Baker, Randy McMichael, Daniel Graham, Matt Spaeth, Devin Thomas, Greg Jones, Ben Hartsock, Ernest Wilford, Benjamin Watson, Joshua Cribbs, Aaron Brown, Greg Lewis, Kenneth Darby, Reggie Brown, Brian Leonard, Deon Butler, Martellus Bennett, Mohamed Massaquoi, Jason Wright, Roscoe Parrish, Jerramy Stevens, Brad Cottam, Moran Norris, Fred Davis, Anthony Becht, Terrance Copper, Mike Thomas, Limas Sweed, Mike Karney, Matt Lawrence, Mike Sellers, Robert Royal, Tony Scheffler, LaRod Stephens-Howling, Daniel Coats, Jeff King, Cameron Morrah, L.J. Smith, Michael Robinson, Owen Schmitt, B.J. Askew, John Kuhn, Rashad Jennings, John Owens, Sinorice Moss, Ben Obomanu, Lawrence Vickers, Marcedes Lewis

Here’s a hint – John Owens is a TE for Seattle. He recorded one catch for 6 yards on Sunday.

Give up yet?

That’s right! All 106 of them had more catches on Sunday than Terrell Owens, who was held without a catch for the first time in 185 games. If you decided to start Travis Beckum or Ben Obomanu over TO for your fantasy team this week, you picked the right superstar.

QB: Peyton Manning, 37.06 pts – started by Paul
RB: Maurice Jones-Drew, 35.77 pts – started by Paul
WR: Santana Moss, 27.87 pts – sitting on Paul’s bench
TE: Vernon Davis, 25.40 pts – sitting on Jim’s bench
K: Olindo Mare, 15.50 pts – sitting on the wire
DEF: Dallas, 21.00 pts – sitting on the wire
D: Terrance Newman, 12.50 pts – sitting on the wire

Paul was thiiiiiiis close to posting the unprecedented trifecta of top players, but his lack of faith in Moss (usually a good call) cost him a boatload of points and a chance to hop even further up the standings. That has to be a bitter blow for someone who loves WRs as much as Paul.

3rd place: Jeff Garcia, -2.20 pts – sitting on the wire
2nd place: Derek Anderson, -2.32 pts – sitting on the wire
1st place: St. Louis, -4.00 pts – sitting on the wire

Poor Jeff Garcia – in what will likely be his only action this season, the plucky third-stringer fumbled away a handoff and collected no other stats of note. Still, that wasn’t as unimpressive as Derek Anderson’s three INTs in relief during Cleveland’s loss, or St. Louis’ posting the second-worst score of the year.

Beating Delhomme’s week one -5.68 pts is gonna be tough, but I feel like someone on St. Louis could do it.

Now that Jeremiah Trotter has been re-signed as an Eagle, here's a partial list of other former birds I'd love to see return:

#10 QB Koy Detmer -- I'd rather see his butt-slap dance than a Mike Vick scramble any day.

#22 RB Duce Staley -- Tell me he wouldn't still be a competent third-down back.

#46 Herman Edwards -- We'd only need him for Giants games.

#59 LB Seth Joyner -- If Trotter can still hit, I'm sure Joyner can still hit.

#89 TE Mike Ditka -- He was only in Philly for one year (1967), but I have a feeling he'd be a good addition to the coaching staff today.

Can't think of anyone else right now. Nope, no one comes to mind.

This guy looked OK, though.

I’ll admit this week’s “stupidest thing” is more baffling than stupid. As I listened to the Virginia Tech pregame show on Saturday, the local jokers were recounting the exciting last-second touchdown pass by the Hokies a week before, in their defeat of Nebraska. It was a brilliant scramble and pass by Tech QB Tyrod Taylor.

One of the commentators exclaimed that the touchdown “is the kind of play that’ll make Tyrod Taylor a household name.”

“Tyrod” is not a household name. “Tyrod” will never be a household name. “Tyrod” is not any kind of name.

Tyrod’s parents’ names are Rod and Trina; That is no excuse for naming your kid Tyrod. I always assumed they wanted to name him “Tyrone” but didn’t have enough money growing up to afford any extra n’s or e’s. Or maybe he looked like a tire iron growing up. Or maybe, just maybe, I misheard his name any of the 700 times I’ve heard it in his three years as QB.

The Hokies’ web site lists his nicknames as “T-mobile” or “Black Rod.” Either one of these is closer to a household name than “Tyrod.”

Detroit snapped their 19-game losing streak on Sunday, beating the hapless Maryland Racial Slurs. What’s happened since their last win, back on Dec. 23, 2007?

** The Phillies won 192 games (and one World Series!)
** The Eagles won 15 games (and tied one!)
** Ford stock jumped from about $7 a share to nearly $9, then dropped to less than $2, then jumped back up to almost $9, then settled down back around $7 a share
** We opened our Christmas presents – twice
** The Washington Nationals lost 204 games
** Brett Favre retired -- twice

Best local headline after the win: “Washington bails out Detroit … again.”

Dallas QB Tony Romo had another tough night Monday, and things don’t get any easier with a trip to 3-0 Denver next weekend. How will the Cowboys’ play caller fare there?

There’s no better person to ask than someone from the Dallas secondary, someone who watches Romo every day in practice: Safety Pat Watkins. Publicly he says his QB will be fine, but looking at the letters in his name reveals the truth.

Dallas Cowboys free safety Patrick Watkins
-- Yo: FS Dawkins will attack SOB. Escape? Try fear --

Frankly, I think the most surprising part isn’t his knowledge of the Denver secondary, but that fact that he called his own QB an SOB. That’s cold.


Click on the picture to see it bigger.

Right now at the top of the standings we’ve got two people who have no idea what they’re doing (Ant and New Mike); At the bottom, we have the entire Ohio contingent (Jim, Joel and Jeff), with Joanna falling rapidly in an attempt to prove her love for Columbus.

And in dead last we have the reigning “Andy Reid Blown Call of the Week” champion, Neal. For the second week in a row, Neal started a third-string QB. For the third week in a row, he started a kicker and a defensive player who have yet to play a down. And for good measure this week he kept a WR slot wide open, and left 45 more points on his bench.

Is that a worse call than Andy Reid himself scripting a QB rollout on a fourth-and-one, instead of a simple run up the middle? Probably not. But it’s close enough.

** Dad and I split the picks this week, so I’m still only up two. We had some math problems here at The Fort last week related to the current standings.

** Yes, that was Greg Lewis catching the game-winning TD in the final seconds of the Vikings win over the 49ers. No, I cannot explain it.

** Bye weeks start this week. If you have any Eagles, put them on your bench and start someone else, unless you think Neal has a winning strategy here.

** If you didn't get the boxing glove reference in the Trotter section, go back and click the link in the header.

** In case I haven’t hammered this point home, go outside now with a football, throw it up in the air, and catch it. You’ve now had a more productive day than T.O. did on Sunday. But I’m sure he’ll bounce back just fine, and not hold it against anyone.