Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Fantasy recap week #8 (but really, it's all baseball)

On this date in history

Oct. 29, 1682 – William Penn, founder of Pennsylvania, sets foot on American soil for the first time, landing in what is modern day Chester.

     Don’t you see? He just wanted to give us the championship on the anniversary of the first idea of the great city of Philadelphia! It’s all so clear now. There’s nothing to worry about!

More unqualified, positive thoughts

-- The Phillies are undefeated at home this postseason (6-0).
-- Of the 60 runs the Phils have scored this postseason, 21 have come after the fifth (35 percent) and seven of those in the sixth inning (12 percent).
-- The Phils have followed their three postseason losses with three wins, three wins and two wins (with one more game pending since that last loss).
-- The Phillies haven’t lost three games in a row since Aug. 29, and are an amazing 23-6 in their last 29 games.

Top performers
back in that NFL thingie

QB: Phillip Rivers, 29.54 pts – started by Jim
RB: Brian Westbrook, 37.50 pts – started by Ant
WR: Santana Moss, 31.93 pts – started by Heidi
TE: Dallas Clark, 25.77 pts – started by Jim
K: Shaun Shisham, 16.00 pts – sitting on Jim’s bench
D: Brandon Flowers, 13.50 pts – sitting on the wire
DEF: Houston, 24.00 pts – sitting on the wire
     Frankly, it was kind of a boring fantasy week if you were anyone but Jim.

Worst performers, “everybody stinks” edition

3rd place: Edgerrin James, -0.30 pts – sitting on Neal’s bench
2nd place: Roscoe Parrish, -0.80 pts – started by Ant
1st place: Adam Jennings, -1.56 pts – sitting on the wire
     Jennings had 22 return yards and one fumble in his game against the Eagles. I have absolutely no memory of him.

Andy Reid Blown Call of the Week Award

     Lemme get this straight: After the fifth inning, with Phils up 2-1 and the rain pouring down on Citizens Bank Park, MLB commissioner Bud Selig thought conditions were good enough to keep playing baseball.
     Then, a half later, after the Rays tied up the game and the rain coming down at the same rate, conditions were too bad to play even another five minutes, to give the visitors a chance to deal with the horrible fielding conditions?
     Sounds fair to me. Maybe Bud can mandate that the Phils have to start Adam Eaton for the rest of the series, or force So Taguchi into the DH role, in the best interests of baseball.
     Idiot. He’s probably still pissed his Brewers got bounced in four games.

Stupidest things I heard this week

     Somebody needs to give Fox a primer on the NFL.
     In the middle of the Giants/Steelers game, sideline reporter Pam Oliver said Tom Coughlin doesn’t know why his team has so much trouble scoring touchdowns “once they get in the green zone.”
     At halftime of the Eagles game, analyst Michael Strahan said for the first time all year Andy Reid allowed McNabb to run “in the red area.”
     But worse than multiple misidentifications of the “red zone” is this story: Sideline reporter Danyelle Sargent apparently asked new 49ers head coach Mike Singeltary about the congratulatory phone call he received this week from his mentor, Bill Walsh.
     And it’s a valid question, if you ignore the fact that Walsh was not a mentor to Singletary (she must have meant Ditka) and Walsh died 15 months ago. But other than that…

Trend projection at the halfway mark

-- Saints QB Drew Brees is on pace to pass for 5,126 yards, which would break Dan Marino’s single-season record of 5,084.
-- Racial Slurs RB Clinton Portis is on pace to rush for 1,888 yards, and is one of only two on pace for more than 1,500 yards (Vikings RB Adrian Peterson is trending towards 1,563).
-- Patsies WR Randy Moss is on pace for nine receiving TDs this year, 14 less than his record-setting 23 last season.
-- The San Francisco 49ers are on pace for 40 turnovers this year, 34 of them by QB J.T. O’Sullivan. And he’s on pace to lose his job in the next two weeks.
-- The Kansas City Chiefs are on pace to total more punting yards (a projected 4,710 yards) than total yards of offense (a projected 4,283 yards).

Cowboys anagram insult of the week

     It’s no surprise that the Cowboys have struggled since QB Tony Romo went down with an injury. After all, “Dallas Cowboys backup Brad Johnson” spells out just what you need to know:
    ** A bad job by hack. Cows all drops, no sun. **
     Maybe if they didn’t have that stupid half-dome over their stadium, they’d get some sun.

Things I did tonight trying to avoid thinking about this delayed game

-- Won the Super Bowl with the Eagles on the PS2 (84-3 over the Ravens, 249 rushing yards for Westbrook, 8 passing TDs for McNabb.)
-- Watched the Phillies 10,000th loss on tape again (10-2 against the Cardinals, standing ovation from the Phill fans at the end.)
-- Thought up nicknames for Bud Selig (Spud Selig, Suds Beerwig, Bud Stupid, Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid-ig.)
-- Watched the Flyers (7-0 against Hotlanta? Sweet. No Philly team has lost since last Wednesday.)
-- Checked the weather (it sucks.)
-- Did wash (but not my lucky Rollins shirt. It’s still ready to go.)

Our standings so far

1st place: Cougar in Chief, Mike – 1013.63 pts
2nd place: Awesomenicity, Heidi – 1000.83 pts
3rd place: The Moravians, Bob – 941.96 pts
     Third place is a revolving door right now, but Mike and Heidi seem to be pulling away from the pack at the halfway mark. However, I’m closely reading the most recent news reports about players using banned substances to make sure Heidi’s stats are valid. Stay tuned.

News and notes

-- If you’re wondering why I haven’t mentioned the Fighting Blue Hens this year, don’t worry about it. It has nothing to do with the fact they’re about to be 3-6.
-- All I’m saying is, if we have to endure the first ever rain suspended game in World Series history, the least Fox could do is let Harry Kalas call the national broadcast for these final three innings.


Captnawsomesdad said...

Hey Captn
I like the historical connection. Btw, I think I saw a newscast of Billy Penn's statue yesterday with a smirk on his face. Or maybe it was just his way of saying good bye to the curse.
Snow in October? Phillies in the world Series? What's next? lol

Lari said...

OMG! I was afraid to post for fear of .......well, anything!!!
Congrats!!!!! What a great gig!
Get your party parade hats ready!!

Siegel said...

I still can't believe the Yankees haven't won a World Series in EIGHT years. You Philly fans are spoiled.