Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Fantasy recap, week 14

Just so we're clear

     Remember how much we all liked this?

      I know it's confusing, but this week we're rooting for this:

      The I-AA Championship, which pits those Fightin' Blue Hens against the Appalachian State Mountain Men, is Friday night on ESPN. I know it's confusing to you Ohio fans out there, but please try to remember who you're rooting for this time.

      Thanks for your support.

Top Performers

** QB: Tom Brady, 40.36 pts – started by Jo
** RB: Marion Barber, 36.37 pts – started by Jim
** WR: Brandon Marshall, 30.67 pts – started by Neal
** TE: Jason Witten, 28.20 pts – started by Ant
** K: Shayne Graham, 14.00 pts – started by Joel
** DEF: Seattle, 28.00 pts – started by Neal
      Seriously? I had two defenses with 24 pts and I get no love? Yet somehow, this week’s 28 pts by Seattle aren’t as painful as last week’s …

Andy Reid (got screwed by a) Blown Call of the Week award

      If a linebacker goes through a wide receiver before he touches a pass, that’s a penalty.
      If a cornerback holds onto a running back while he’s trying to get to the line of scrimmage before the snap, that’s a penalty.
      Someone, please forward this to the Eagles/Giants officiating crew. Thanks.

Worst performers, defensive edition

Third Place: Pittsburgh, -1.00 pts – sitting on Joel’s bench
Second Place: Oakland, -4.00 pts – started by Jim
First Place: Kansas City, -5.00 pts – started by Ant
      Remember – the worst a defense can be worth is -6.00 pts. That one sack KC got kept them from posting the worst score of the year.
      Also … Pittsburgh? Really? That’s all you got? C’mon!

Stupidest thing I heard last week

      Take your pick from these great ESPN moments:

** An unnamed ESPN announcer who on Saturday, with the Kansas basketball team up 76-52 over DePaul with just four minutes left in the game, insisted that, “if you’re on the Kansas staff you don’t want your guys to let up in this situation, because it can get really dangerous.” Somehow, they managed to turn that 24-point lead into a close 18-point win.

** ESPN analyst Mel Kiper, who on the radio handicapped the possible winners of the 2008 Heisman trophy award … about an hour before they announced the 2007 winner.

** An unnamed ESPN announcer who, during Delaware’s big win on Saturday, said that one of the Southern Illinois player’s stories was “so miraculous because it’s a miracle he’s here today.”

** ESPN’s Trey Wingo, who announced that thanks to his network, “college football fans will finally get what they’ve been asking for: A playoff to decide which team is number one! … as picked by our experts …”
      Yeah, that’s much better than this current poll system. I wish they’d just put them on a field and guess how they’d play. No controversy there.

Random Eagles notes

** With his next field goal (or two extra points), K David Akers will become the Eagles all-time points leader.

** On a day when the Eagles honored former RB Duce Staley, current RB Brian Westbrook became the first Iggle since Duce (nine years ago) to post consecutive 1,000 yard rushing seasons.

** QB Donovan McNabb played his first December football game in three years on Sunday. And he managed to stay upright through the whole thing.

** WR Greg Lewis’s career passer rating on Sunday fell all the way to 39.6 (one attempt, zero completions) from his previous rating of infinite (zero attempts, zero completions). Hopefully, he will never get a chance to improve on that.

Cowboys anagram insult of the week

      I know what you were thinking – The Lions are up six points with only a few minutes left, and the Cowboys have been struggling all day. This could be the week they finally get theirs. This could be the week they collapse and earn a loss. This could be the week…
      But there’s one thing you forgot: “Detroit really, really sucks again.” And you know what that spells out?
      Dallas kills your eager certainty
      So, as you’d expect, the cowpokes stage a comeback, score a TD with 18 second left, and Detroit disappoints everyone yet again.
      Should have seen it coming…

Evidence the NFL is rigged

** In the season where QB Brett Favre sets several career passing records, he just happens to have his best season in 12 years.

** WR Randy Moss just happens to reinvent his career … as soon as he gets traded to the NFL’s only dynasty of the last decade.

** QB Eli Manning just happens to keep to winning games despite only having the skills of Eli Manning.

** The 0-14 Dolphins just happen to upset the 14-0 Patriots (see me in two weeks about that one.)

Our standings so far

First Place: I Need Linebackers, Paul – 2160.86 pts
Second Place: Giuliani's 2nd Wife, Jim – 1926.41 pts
Third Place: Updog, Neal – 1879.85 pts
      A big week for Neal; His 180-plus pts jump him over Joanna and into the top three. And Paul still managed to open up his lead…

For the record

** Aw yeah, I’m only down 10 to Dad now. I got him right where I want him.

** More Thursday night games, kids.

** Just so you’re ready for it, there’s a chance I may not even mention next Sunday’s game in my next recap.

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