Fantasy football 2025 -- week 15 recap

Good omens from the Eagles big win on Sunday: 

** The Eagles beat the Raiders 31-0 on Sunday. The last time they were up 31 points on any opponent? That would be in the third quarter of the Super Bowl, when they were up 34-0 over the Chiefs, just a short while before they hoisted the championship trophy.

** DE Brandon Graham had two sacks on Sunday. The last time he got to the QB? That would be in the win over the Rams last season, just before the Eagles went on a playoff run that ended in winning the Super Bowl.

** QB Kenny Pickett was the starter for the Raiders on Sunday. The last time he was on the same field as the Eagles? That would be in the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl, when the team was up by so much that he got a chance to go in with the scrubs.

** The Eagles won a game on Sunday. The last time they won a game? That was in November, when they beat the Lions, who were the team that got bounced by the Commanders in the 2024 playoffs, a week before the Eagles destroyed the Commanders in the NFC championship game en route to a Super Bowl win.

** The offense and defense for the Eagles both played spectacular on Sunday. The last time both sides of the ball looked competent at the same time? That was the 40-22 dominant victory by the birds over the Chiefs in February, which was when the Eagles won their last Super Bowl title.

QB: Trevor Lawrence, 54.30 pts — on the wire
WR: Amon-Ra St. Brown, 29.43 pts — started by Mom D
RB: James Cook III, 29.97 pts — started by Paul
TE: Kyle Pitts Sr., 34.57 pts — on Mom D’s bench
K: Jason Myers, 24.00 pts — started by Pop
DEF: Baltimore, 28.00 pts — started by Jeff
D: Jeffery Simmons, 12.57 pts — on the wire

Huge day for Lawrence, who is perennially hyped as one of the next great QBs and never seems to deliver. He has been solid all season but never topped 30 fantasy pts in any game until Sunday, when he threw five TDs and rushed in another one in a 48-20 dismantling of the Jets. Sadly for Lawrence, that total doesn’t even break the top five in fantasy points among QBs in the last 15 years. I’ve got this recap from last year with that list. https://captawesome.blogspot.com/2024/12/fantasy-football-2024-week-14-recap.html

Speaking of chronically disappointing, Pitts — the pride of Archbishop Wood High School — had a total of 31.13 fantasy points in his previous six games leading up to Thursday night’s matchup against the Bucs. He caught three TD passes in that game (he had one coming into this week) and notched 11 catches for 166 yds. Falcons officials hinted they may use the franchise tag on him in the offseason, because having one great game every two or three years is really all you need to survive in this league.

Myers kicked six field goals in Seattle’s win over the Colts. Good for him, but it was an 18-16 win, and if all you do in a game is kick field goals, you should be limited to a tie at best.

“Former Eagles QBs” edition

3rd place: Kenny Pickett, 1.26 pts — on the wire
2nd place: Nick Mullins, -0.20 pts — on the wire
1st place: Gardner Minshew, -1.12 pts — on the wire

It’s worth noting that all of these guys scored worse points than current Eagles backup QB Tanner McKee, who appeared in one series this week and collected 2.22 fantasy points.

Pickett was everything you hope for when you trade away a QB: inaccurate and uninspired. He totaled just 64 yds passing and threw one interception, showing why he was deemed expendable not just by the Eagles, but also by the Browns (who traded him to Las Vegas after sending the Eagles a draft pick for him).

And yet, Minshew was worse. He came into the Chiefs game for an injured Patrick Mahomes, then quickly threw a pick and ended Kansas City’s season. On the year, Minshew has appeared in three games and scored negative points in each one. Maybe that’ll change next week.

And Muillins? He counts. He was on the Eagles practice squad for part of 2021 before heading to Cleveland. He is also the grandson of Ernie Tabor, who pitched in the Philadelphia Phillies minor league system in the 1950s. So he has tons of Phill cred. No fantasy points, but tons of cred.


** On Saturday, the Athletic’s Alex Kirshner wrote that “this is one of the closest Heisman races ever” even while he acknowledged that the betting odds were heavily in favor of Indiana’s Fernando Mendoza (a $1200 risk would win you $1300). “The betting odds don’t tell the story of how close this race could be.”

And when the full vote came out, he was right — it wasn’t even THAT close. Mendoza had 643 first place votes. The next nine runners up had 273 first-place votes combined.

If only about 250 voters had seen the whole season differently, it would have been a real nailbiter.

** Following the Chiefs’ loss Sunday, which officially eliminated Kansas City from post-season contention this year, NFL.com’s Grant Gordon wrote that “it is the close of a truly special chapter in NFL chronicle, one in which the Chiefs and Mahomes became the defining team and player of the league.”

Just go ahead and read that first part of the sentence again, because I don’t think I wrote that the Chiefs were eliminated from the post-season forever, just this year.

Remember 2008? That’s the year after the Patriots lost the Super Bowl to the Giants, nixing their bid at an undefeated season. They had appeared in playoffs five straight years and won three of the prior seven Super Bowls, but in 2008 they missed the playoffs after QB Tom Brady got hurt.

It was the close of a truly special chapter in NFL history, as the once dominant New England franchise would never again rise to the same level of … just kidding, they made the playoffs the next 11 years after 2008 and won three more Super Bowls.

Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes turned 30 this year. Maybe, just maybe, missing the playoffs once in his career doesn’t mean it’s time for retirement.

** Daily Mail headline on Monday: “NFL fans brutally mock Joe Biden as he makes huge Philadelphia Eagles gaffe”

His alleged mistake was attending the Eagles game on Sunday wearing a 2023 Super Bowl cap with the Eagles logo on front. The British tabloid noted that “Philadelphia actually lost that Super Bowl to the Kansas City Chiefs.”

And … that’s it?

Look, I’ll acknowledge that the former president should have enough cash to spring for newer gear. But I just attended an Eagles game wearing a Brian Westbrook jersey and a scarf from the mid 2010s. Is that not allowed anymore? Only championship branded gear? No 2004 division title shirts or Brian Dawkins memorabilia because they didn’t get a title?

I know this is more about the politics than the hat, but it’s not like the guy showed up in a “I like football” or “I hope everyone has a good time” shirt. It was an older Eagles hat. Simmer down, Brits.

College football’s silly season is back, with 47 bowl games (36 non-playoff matchups) on the schedule for the next few weeks. Sadly, not all of them are the high-quality programming promised by their names. Here’s a look at a few of the worst offenders:

** The Cricket Celebration Bowl
This game was played Saturday and featured zero celebration of the mysteries of crickets, which boast more than 900 species worldwide.

** The Xbox Bowl
This game will be played on a field in Frisco, Texas — and not on a giant stadium screen using an Xbox and a copy of NCAA football 2025, which would make so much more sense.

** The Snoop Dogg Arizona Bowl
The famous rapper and sponsor of the event is expected to attend the game, but he won’t be playing. Should he have to sub in for one of the QBs?

** The Trust & Will Holiday Bowl
It only makes sense to build an entire game around estate planning if you announce beforehand that the losers of the game will be executed.

** Bush's Boca Raton Bowl of Beans
The game will be played at Florida Atlantic University’s Flagler Credit Union Stadium, and not, as suggested, in a giant bowl of beans.

In recent years, the Cowboys’ season has been derailed by injuries to starter Dak Prescott. The team hoped to fix that problem this season with a more reliable backup. They settled on former Michigan Wolverine and New England Patriot Joe Milton. He provides the perfect blend of talent and work ethic that the team is known for. Don’t believe me? Just look at what the letters in his name spell out:

Dallas Backup QB Joe Milton III
** Skilled? Baa. I complain, quit job.

Quitting the job early is what the Cowboys are known for. Heck, they haven’t worked past early January in years…

** I went 1-2 against Dad this week, so he gets one in our picks showdown. For the year, he remains nine back. With three weeks left, his path to victory is slim. It’s not as bad as the Cowboys path to the playoffs, but still slim.

** The Christmas day games for the NFL will be the Chiefs playing the Broncos without Patrick Mahomes, the Commanders playing the Cowboys without Jayden Daniels and the Lions playing the Vikings possibly without a chance of either team making the playoffs. Solid work there, guys.

** Saquon Barkley had 78 yds rushing, 14 yds receiving and 1 TD on Sunday. The Raiders as a team had 75 yards net offense and no points on Sunday. So it’s not extreme to say that Barkley alone beat Las Vegas.


Week 15 standings

Family Cup -- regular season final standings
House Doyle: 30-12
House Garrity: 23-19
House Quinn: 16-26
House Shane: 14-26-2

Ollie and Jonathan had their title hopes dashed this week in very different fashions. Jonathan’s team had its worst performance of the year, allowing Shelly’s low-scoring squad to escape with a 78.22-67.30 win. Meanwhile, Ollie’s team scored 144.50 points but lost by two to Jim’s squad. I haven’t seen a team score that much and lose since … five times this season with Emma’s team.

Speaking of Emma’s team, despite a terrible regular season, the Unicorn Blobfish Empire will not finish in last place, thanks to a consolation bracket victory this week. Jimmy also won, leaving the Quinn boys to battle for the 11th place finisher prize.

Only four teams left for the championship: Jim, Shelly, Mike and Lexi. We’ll get that number down to two this week.

Awesome Cup standings
1 — One Plus One is Three SBs (Pop), 1,873.21 pts
2 — City Hands (Mike), 1,824.70 pts
3 — Still The Best (Jonathan), 1,823.90 pts
4 — Goederts and Monsterts (Bob), 1,786.93 pts
5 — Saquontum Leap (Capt. Awesome), 1,778.94 pts
6 — Vert der Ferks (Ant), 1,594.14 pts
7 — Schwarbombs (Jo), 1,548.15 pts
8 — The Fightin Pickles (Sam), 1,447.08 pts
9 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 1,442.31 pts
10 — DeVonta’s Inferno (Mom D), 1,418.74 pts
11 — All Rogers No Sauce (Joel), 1,310.50 pts
12 — The B Sharps (Paul), 1,310.05 pts

Lots of shakeup this week, starting near the top. Mike’s team topped 156 pts this week and jumped from fourth to second. As the weather gets colder, his team heats up. Jonathan falls to third and is in real danger of not winning the league for a third year in a row, which I know will upset everyone.

Jeff’s team is quietly sneaking up the charts too — he was the second-highest scorer on the week (128.72) and overtook Mom D’s struggling squad in the standings. And Joel has climbed out of the basement by just one step over Paul’s team, Who didn’t start a QB or WR1 this week. In fairness, neither did the Raiders.

The NFL gave you one normal week of games, so now we’re done with that nonsense. This week features a Thursday contest, two Saturday games, 12 Sunday games, a Monday game and a partridge in a pear tree. Try to keep up, and get those rosters set.

Fantasy football 2025 -- week 14 recap

The Eagles and Chargers starred in ESPN’s "Monsters Funday Football” alternate broadcast on Monday night, with characters from the Monsters Inc. franchise re-enacting all of the plays nearly simultaneously with the live action. The presentation has been a fun gimmick in recent years, but the pick of loveable monsters to stand in for the frustrating Eagles was an inappropriate pick. Here’s the cartoon characters who should have been playing key Philly offensive starters:

** WR AJ Brown — Grumpy the Dwarf
He’s doing all the work, but he ain’t happy about it.

** RB Saquon Barkley — Lightning McQueen
Both used to be fast, now both are stuck in a backwater wasteland with misfits surrounding them.

** DE Jaelan Phillips — Wreck-It Ralph
Nobody seems to appreciate what a beast this guy is, because everything around him is a mess.

** WR DeVonta Smith — Mary Poppins
Both just fly up their field without explanation or any real reason.

** QB Jalen Hurts — Flash, the sloth from Zootopia
Actually, that’s not fair. The sloth could probably get through his reads faster than Hurts right now.

QB: Josh Allen, 43.84 pts — started by Ant
WR: Michael Wilson, 27.47 pts — started by Mike
RB: Jahmyr Gibbs, 30.93 pts — started by Jeff
TE: Harold Fannin Jr., 17.60 pts — started by Paul
K: Brandon Aubrey, 23.50 pts — started by Ant
DEF: Minnesota, 23.00 pts — on the wire
D: (tie) Nick Emmanwori, 11.00 pts — on the wire
D: (tie) Christian Benford, 11.00 pts — on the wire

That’s the third time this year that Allen topped 40 fantasy pts in a game. He’s now averaging 25.3 fantasy points a game and sits 25 pts ahead of the second-best fantasy performer of the year, Rams QB Matthew Stafford. But it is worth noting that Allen cost a third-round pick, while you could have gotten Stafford off the waiver wire in week 2.

Gibbs has scored 30+ fantasy pts three times in the last five weeks and still sits 19 fantasy pts behind RB leader Jonathan Taylor for the season. Taylor has almost double the fantasy pts of Saquon Barkley.

Shout out to the #2 fantasy player on the week, Browns QB Shedeur Sanders, who scored 39.46 pts. He threw three TDs, ran for another and proved once and for all that he can post big numbers and still lose in embarrassing fashion. That’s the mark of a true Cleveland signal caller.

“Super Bowl MVP who forgot how to play football” edition

1st place: Jalen Hurts, 2.40 pts — started by Jonathan

Sure, there were QBs who scored lower than the Eagles signal caller this weekend, but non played worse. Hurts coughed up the ball five times in Monday’s loss to the Chargers — twice on one play, the first time that has ever happened in an NFL game — and single-handedly lost the key matchup for his team.

Remember, this is the reigning Super Bowl MVP we are talking about. He had two interceptions all year coming into the game, and left the contest with six. He accounted for zero TDs for the first time all season. Hurts had a perfect passer rating against the Vikings in mid-October and had a worse QB rating than anyone in the stadium on Monday (31.2, where throwing a ball straight into the ground is a 39.6 rating).

It’s a mind-boggling fall from grace for Hurts. The only good news is that it feels impossible to record three turnovers on a single play, so maybe he can’t embarrass himself more next week.


** As snow began to fall during Sunday’s Cincinnati/Buffalo contest, Bengals Dan Hoard noted that the weather hadn’t stopped QB Joe Burrow from throwing two TD passes on his team’s first three drives.

“The snow hasn’t bothered him at all!” he boasted. “He truly is Joe Brrrrrrrr!”

First, if you want to do the Dad joke right, you say the full name. Brrrr-oooow. Cutting it short makes you seem like you just forgot what you were doing.

Second, Burrow threw two picks after that statement, so way to jinx your man.

** The Raiders were trailing the Broncos by 10 points with 58 seconds left in the game on Sunday. After a few quick passes, the team found themselves at the 28-yard-line, and opted to kick a quick field goal to close the gap to a single score. The 46-yard attempt was good ... and ended the game.

 
That’s because the attempt came with four seconds left on the clock. Did any coach on the Las Vegas sideline really think there was time for a field goal, onsides kick recovery and a Hail Mary attempt? Have they watched football before?

As the kick sailed through, Raiders K Daniel Carlson gave a half fist pump, then looked at the sidelines for some kind of explanation. Maybe he was supposed to kick the ball harder, to save that one second for multiple miracles.

** I’m late to the game on this, but the New Jersey Giants motto over the last few years with former coach Brian Daboll was “smart, tough, dependable.” And I think maybe the team didn’t win many games because they were promoting STDs to the players too much.

The Colts lost QB Daniel Jones and backup QB Riley Leonard to injury in Sunday’s loss to the Jaguars. Third-string QB Anthony Richardson has been on injured reserve for a month with his own issues. So on Tuesday, team officials announced they had signed 44-year-old Phillip Rivers, even though he hasn’t taken a professional snap in the last four years.

It’s a desperate, crazy move by the team, because there are clearly better options out there to consider. Here's who they could have added to their backfield instead:

** Tom Brady: Sure, he’s got a cushy TV gig now. But you know he wants to get back in the game, and you know the NFL would be fine with breaking rules to make it happen.

** Peyton Manning: Why not consider a former Colts great? He’s a young 49, and his last time on a football field was a Super Bowl win (in 2015).

** Aaron Rogers: Yes, he has a gig with the Steelers right now. But he’d probably jump just to get more attention.

** Jeff George: Why not consider a former Colts great? He’s a young 58, and his last time on a football field was … losing with the Bears in 2004.

** The remains of Daniel Jones: Even with one busted leg, he’s starting to sound like a preferable choice.

The Cowboys are always looking for player depth, so it’s no surprise that they’ve been active with their practice squad players throughout the season. This week they signed former Pitt RB Israel Abanikanda, hoping he can bring a spark to the floundering team. But it’s not his on field play that made him attractive to coaches — it was the intangibles hidden in his name. Luckily, it’s easy for us to see what his true skills are:

Dallas Cowboys RB Israel Abanikanda
** Seal claws. Kind as a bloody barbarian

Before you ask — yes, seals do have claws. They’re nasty. Not as nasty as the Cowboys defense, but nasty.

** It’s getting grim for Dad — he went 1-3 against me in picks this week, and falls to 10 back in our head-to-head showdown. With just four weeks left, he’s gonna need a major push to keep me from claiming victory.

** Super Bowl winning QB Kenny Pickett had a miserable Sunday, throwing for just 97 yds and one TD to collect 10.48 fantasy pts in the Raiders loss. But that was good enough to get him on the positive side of the ledger for the year. Before this weekend, he had -1.68 fantasy pts for the season, making him the worst fantasy scorer in all of football. Now, he’s among the top 410 scorers on the year. Well done.

** At least Schwarber got a new contract this week? Yay?


Week 14 standings

Family Cup -- regular season final standings 
House Doyle: 30-12
House Garrity: 23-19
House Quinn: 16-26
House Shane: 14-26-2

The playoffs are set: Mike and Lexi get first-round byes, Jonathan and Shelly square off in the 3-6 matchup, and Jim and Ollie square off in the 5-4. Jonathan finished the season with the most points by far, but needed Grandmom Shane to lose on the final day of the regular season to sneak into the playoffs (she started Jalen Hurts, so…)

For the other teams, there is a losers’ bracket, so keep setting those rosters for a chance to finish in 7th place. Emma’s team won in the regular season finale and is itchy for its first winning streak of the season, and a chance to not finish in last.

Awesome Cup standings
1 — One Plus One is Three SBs (Pop), 1,756.67 pts
2 — Still The Best (Jonathan), 1,716.34 pts
3 — Goederts and Monsterts (Bob), 1,681.37 pts
4 — City Hands (Mike), 1,668.42 pts
5 — Saquontum Leap (Capt. Awesome), 1,667.52 pts
6 — Vert der Ferks (Ant), 1,482.66 pts
7 — Schwarbombs (Jo), 1,423.80 pts
8 — The Fightin Pickles (Sam), 1,367.16 pts
9 — DeVonta’s Inferno (Mom D), 1,329.68 pts
10 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 1,313.59 pts
11 — The B Sharps (Paul), 1,226.39 pts
12 — All Rogers No Sauce (Joel), 1,203.92 pts

A huge week for Mike (152.11 pts) vaulted him over me into fourth place, despite my first half-decent performance (129.97) in a month. Jonathan’s stumble gives Dad a bigger cushion in first place. And three teams managed to score less than 80 pts this week (Jeff, Joel and Jo), which isn’t great. Hang tight, the season isn’t over yet.

But the bye weeks are! Four weeks of football left and everyone will play. No Saturday games this week. Only one Monday game. Still a stupid Thursday game, but that’s unavoidable. No reason to have your roster incomplete. It’s time to push towards the trophies.

Fantasy football 2025 -- week 13 recap

The concern around Philly after the embarrassing Black Friday loss to the Bears is that the Eagles are headed to another 2023, where the team looked great for the second half of the season and fell apart in the last two months of the year. But when you look closer, you realize that isn’t a fair comparison. Consider:

** After Nov. 1 in 2023, QB Jalen Hurts looked erratic and unpredictable. Hurts is neither of those things this season — he is consistently disappointing and underachieving.

** The 2023 team hired Matt Patricia midway through the season in a failed attempt to fix the defense. This season’s team is refusing to make any coaching moves to deal with the gaping holes in their offensive gameplan.

** The 2023 team had RB D’Andre Swift rush for over 1,000 yards over the course of the season. The 2025 team had D’Andre Swift rush for over 1,000 yards against them last Friday.

** The 2023 team had WRs AJ Brown and DeVonta Smith both top 1,000 receiving yds on the season. The 2025 team no longer uses both of those wide receivers for more than half a game, so they can’t reach those marks.

** The Eagles were 10-1 in 2023 before finishing the season 11-6. This season’s team doesn’t look like they can make it to 11 wins.

So it’s no worry that we’re seeing a repeat of 2023 — This team doesn’t seem good enough to reach that bar.

QB: Patrick Mahomes, 37.44 pts — started by Sam
WR: A.J. Brown, 26.10 pts — started by Bob
RB: Bijan Robinson, 26.10 pts — started by me
TE: Brock Bowers, 18.20 pts — started by Joel
K: Evan McPherson, 24.00 pts — started by Joel
DEF: Seattle, 35.00 pts — started by Pop
D: Ernest Jones IV, 14.50 pts — on the wire

Fun fact — all of those first four top performers were on teams that lost. So, maybe fantasy points don’t mean everything. But I’m glad AJ finally got his moment in the sun. In the cold, cold November sun.

Mahomes’ big day (four passing TDs, 291 total yds) put him 0.64 pts ahead of Bills QB Josh Allen in the race for the #1 fantasy player of the season. Rams QB Matthew Stafford is 11 pts back, and Eagles QB Jalen Hurts is only 25 pts behind. Eagles WR Jahan Dotson is 284 fantasy pts behind, which is more than twice the fantasy points he has scored in his last 47 games. It’s not a fair comparison at all, but I just thought I’d remind you that Jahan Dotson is still on this Eagles team, since all of their wideouts get forgotten often.

“Woooow” edition

3rd place: Mason Rudolph, -2.00 pts — on the wire
2nd place: Detroit, -3.00 pts — started by Mom D
1st place: Max Brosmer, -3.06 pts — on the wire

The Lions defense hasn’t been good all year, but their absolute stinker at home on Thanksgiving against the division-rival Packers is the low point for the team. They surrendered 31 pts on Thursday, and have just four sacks and one turnover in their last four games.

That would be the most depressing performance of the week if not for Brosmer, the Vikings third-string QB. He is the reason for Seattle posting the best defensive performance of the season so far: Four sacks, four interceptions, one fumble recovery and one TD on a pick from Brosmer that was the worst football play you will ever see.

His QB rating on the day was 32.8, worse than the 39.6 rating you had just dropping the remote on the floor once Sunday (one attempt, zero completions for zero yds). And you also scored more fantasy points than him, with zero. So it is not exaggerating to say you did a better job under center this weekend for the Vikings — even though the team was playing on the other side of the country, hundreds of miles away — than their starting QB did.


** Fox’s college football pregame show is titled “Big Noon Kickoff.” It starts at 11am each Saturday morning and runs until the opening kickoff for the featured game … which happens at 12:15 pm.

I guess the 15-minute delay makes it “big noon.” I still think I’d prefer a normal noon kickoff, and less pontificating ahead of time.

 
** During halftime of Sunday’s Texans/Colts game, Houston radio play-by-play announcer Marc Vandermeer remarked that the two teams were evenly matched in the first 30 minutes of “this showdown of AFC South leaders.”

Coming into the game, the Colts were 8-3, two games ahead of the 6-5 Texans in the standings. So they were both “leaders” in the division if you consider “anyone in the top three spots in a four-team division” as a leader. Because after the Texans scored an upset, they moved to 7-5 … and stayed in third place, behind the 8-4 Jaguars and 8-4 Colts.

Some people lead from behind, I guess.

** At halftime of the Lions/Packers game, Fox sideline reporter Erin Andrews reported that Detroit coach Dan Campbell had “the perfect encapsulation of the first half” when the two spoke coming out of the locker room:

“He told me, ‘We had four possessions, two punts and two scores. And it could be like that in the second half too.’”

Now that’s sideline insight. I mean, sure, the box score could have told me the possessions and results. And everyone watching the game could have told me the possessions and results. But only a sideline reporter interviewing a coach could give me the insight that the second half could also have possessions and results. That Ohio State sideline reporter from last week could really learn a lesson here.

Ole Miss coach Lane Kiffin left his post at the school this week to take over as the new leader of the LSU Tigers, getting a seven-year contract worth $91 million. He is now one of only three college coaches to make more than $13 million annually. That seems like a lot of money, but when you break it down into other potential purchases for the university, the total doesn’t feel as overwhelming. Here’s what $91 million could buy instead:

** Full in-state tuition (with books) at LSU for 6,979 students ($13,038 each).
** Three new state-of-the-art locker rooms for the football team ($28 million for the last renovation).
** 293 rings from LSU’s 2003 championship season ($31,000 each).
** The entire New Orleans Saints offense this season ($89.1 million in salary).
** 37.9 million NCAA footballs ($23.99 each).
** 28 games from LSU alum Joe Burrow (on a five-year, $275 million contract).
** Brian Kelly, their failed previous coach (a now voided 10-year, $95 million contract).

The Dallas coaching staff signed CB Corey Ballentine from the practice squad to the active roster just ahead of their Thanksgiving contest. It’s Ballentine’s 10th stint with an NFL team, which has led to questions about why he has trouble staying on active rosters. Some coaches have pointed to his inconsistent play, others have wondered if his practice ethic is enough. But if you just examine the letters in his name, you can see the real problem:

New Dallas DB Corey Ballentine
** Worst troll bane — badly cleaned swine

Nobody likes a smelly teammate, except for the Cowboys. They already have the stench of sadness and failure in their locker room.

** Dad and I split our picks for the week, so he remains eight back for the season. He did correctly pick the New Jersey Jets upset over the Falcons on Sunday, a pick that I mocked him for. But while he was right, I feel like anyone who was following that game at all was in the wrong.

** According to the New York Times’ Athletic, the Cowboys have a 41% chance of making the playoffs if they beat the Lions next week and an 8% chance of making the playoffs if they lose to Detroit. C’mon, Jared Goff. Just one more great game, man. That’s all we’re asking for.

** Speaking of that Atlanta loss, the Falcons are 4-8 and would be in line for a top-10 pick next spring if they hadn’t traded the selection to the Rams last year to move up in the 2025 draft and go all in on this season and that’s just the saddest story ever.


Week 13 standings

Family Cup standings
House Doyle: 27-12
House Garrity: 21-18
House Quinn: 16-23
House Shane: 13-24-2

Three teams are in the playoffs — Lexi, Mike and Shelly — which leaves three spots to be decided in the final week. Ollie would need a tremendous amount of bad luck to miss the playoffs, leaving Jim, Grandmom Shane and Jonathan to sort out the final two berths. And what do you know? Jim and Jonathan are playing each other. The winner gets a chance at glory, the loser gets the losers bracket. Lots of pressure on both teams.

Awesome Cup standings
1 — One Plus One is Three SBs (Pop), 1,641.29 pts
2 — Still The Best (Jonathan), 1,626.48 pts
3 — Goederts and Monsterts (Bob), 1,575.78 pts
4 — Saquontum Leap (Capt. Awesome), 1,537.55 pts
5 — City Hands (Mike), 1,516.31 pts
6 — Schwarbombs (Jo), 1,347.08 pts
7 — Vert der Ferks (Ant), 1,342.07 pts
8 — The Fightin Pickles (Sam), 1,279.66 pts
9 — DeVonta’s Inferno (Mom D), 1,252.95 pts
10 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 1,234.83 pts
11 — The B Sharps (Paul), 1,132.43 pts
12 — All Rogers No Sauce (Joel), 1,092.59 pts

Another huge week from Dad finally vaults him into first, with a small cushion over his grandson. But don’t forget about our third-place team — the team that I picked to win it all in my pre-season rankings — making a charge towards the top. Bob’s squad has been lingering all year, and is within striking distance as we head into the final five weeks of the season.

My team? Complete free-fall. I’ve gone from a 20-pts lead in first-place on Nov. 1 to a 105-pts deficit in fourth on Dec. 2. That is not a happy holiday start for my squad.

Week 14 is the last bye week, so it’s the last time you’ll need to worry about getting a surprise zero from an inactive player. But there is still a Thursday game and pitfalls galore before the Eagles play on Monday night, so get those rosters settled early.