Think you know the NFL? Think you know the holidays? Then test your smarts by identifying which of the following names played for the Jacksonville Jaguars and which are cast members from the holiday classic “It’s a Wonderful Life,” which is probably airing on TV right now.
Mediocre NFLer
Mediocre NFLer
Mediocre NFLer
Mediocre NFLer
Mediocre NFLer
Mediocre NFLer
Mediocre NFLer
Mediocre NFLer
Hallmark star
Don’t bother looking for the submit button, I still can’t figure that out. So I’ve got the answers listed below. You’ll have to grade yourself. No cheating, Santa is watching.
Josiah Deguara, Mitch Morse, Ezra Cleveland and Cole Van Lanen are all current members of the Jaguars team.
In the Christmas classic, Frank Faylen played Ernie Bishop and Samuel Hinds played Pa Bailey. Max Linder was an extra in the movie. Henry Travers was Clarence Odbody, AS2 (that’s angel, second class).
James Stewart, of course, is obvious. He rushed for 2,951 yards with the Jacksonville franchise from 1995 to 1999, scoring 33 rushing TDs and five more receiving ones. Some have confused him with Jimmy Stewart, who had a minor role in “It’s a Wonderful Life.” He never recorded a single yard in the NFL.
WR: Jonathan Taylor, 39.80 pts — started by Mom D
RB: Justin Jefferson, 26.60 pts — started by Sam
TE: Brock Bowers, 12.10 pts — started by Jonathan
K: (tie) Jason Sanders, 21.00 pts — started by me
K: (tie) Brandon Aubrey, 21.00 pts — started by me
DEF: Atlanta, 26.00 pts — started by Bob
D: Matthew Judon, 11.00 pts — on the wire
Congrats to Jayden Daniels on his big game against Philly and sealing up rookie of the year honors. The last Maryland player to win that was Robert Griffin III, and I’m hoping that Daniels has the same kind of long, successful career. Luckily, Daniels isn’t frequently injured or prone to erratic games like Griffin was.
Taylor had 218 yds rushing and three TDs in the Colts win over the Titans on Sunday. His 39.80 pts were four more than his total in the previous four games combined, and his three touchdowns were one more than his total for the previous eight games. Plus, he didn’t fumble on the goal line this week.
But that’s nothing compared to the Atlanta defense. After totaling 46 pts in their first 13 games, they have posted 51 in their last two, albeit against the Raiders and Giants. Can they keep it up next week against Jayden Daniels next week? No. But it was a fun run while it lasted.
“Good things come in threes” edition1st place: (tie) San Francisco, -3.00 pts — on Bob’s bench
1st place: (tie) Arizona, -3.00 pts — on the wire
1st place: (tie) Tennessee, -3.00 pts — on the wire
It’s a rare coincidence for a three-way tie at the bottom of the standings, but even rarer is a defensive player on the negative points list. Come on down, Eagles CB Avonte Maddox! He scored -1.92 points thanks to a fumble on the final desperate lateral play of the game. He still would have ended in positive territory if he had recorded a tackle or defended a pass in the game, but that’s a lot to expect from a defense that played dead for an entire half.
** ESPN’s pre-game Sunday NFL show ended with a segment giving Herm Edwards the “Final Word” on his predictions for the day. His pick: “Quiet,” because he predicted critics would shut up after the Lions rebounded with a win this week. And after that brief explanation, his “final word” went on for another sixty seconds when he wouldn’t stop talking.
Look, I get that it’s not a literal bit, and he wasn’t gonna say just one word. But if you keep droning on if when your parting statement was “quiet,” it just feels like it undermines everything.
** During Sunday Night Football’s player introductions, Tampa Bay WR Sterling Shepard was introduced with his two young daughters on his lap saying his name and college. It was adorable, because little kids are cute.
It also should mark the end of these stupid player introductions, which now have zero to do with anything related to the game. Half the guys can barely read their own names. Some make up schools they went to. And the whole thing takes up half the screen for several plays, actually blocking the view of gameplay.
We’re a step away from replacing the first quarter of games with players singing Christmas carols. Keep the cutesy feature stories for between plays, or after the game. Let me just watch a football game already.
** During the second quarter of the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl, Fresno State led 13-3 with NIU on the one-yard line, inches from scoring. But on fourth down, the Bulldogs’ defense held, and stuff NIU for a turnover to preserve the 10-point lead. Play-by-play announcer Lowell Galindo shouted after the defensive stand:
“What a stop! Who says bowl games don’t matter anymore!”
In the end, Galindo’s comment was interesting because OH WHO ARE WE KIDDING you don’t want to hear how the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl turned out. It was two 6-6 teams playing on a Monday afternoon when half the country was still at work. Fresno State lost. So the play didn’t matter in the end. But even if it had, would you have cared even a little? No. Because you have a life. Or at least more of a life than the several hundred fans who attended the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl.
Potato. Bowl.
Positives from the Eagles loss to the Commies:
— It knocked the Cowboys out of the playoffs: It would have been nicer if it happened next week when the Birds play Dallas, but starting their offseason early is always good news.
— The streak is over: Remember what happened the last time the Commies ended a long Eagles winning streak? That was in 2022, when they had their eight-game streak stopped. The Birds went to the Super Bowl that year.
— It stops the Hurts criticism: Is he inconsistent? Yes. Is this team much, much, much better with him on the field than any other option? Also yes.
— It probably means another Eagles/Commies game: That’s the most likely first-round playoff matchup now. Maryland is 1-4 against teams with winning records, twice barely beat the Giants, beat the Saints by one point, needed a Hail Mary to beat the Bears. They could easily be 7-8. I’ll happily take team luck as an opponent over an actual skilled squad.
— It gives the Eagles a bye week: Not a real one, of course. The #1 seed is out of reach now. But that also means that if the Eagles win next week, the final game of the season against the Giants is meaningless. That’s a nice time to get Saquon some records and rest everyone else.
— It knocked the Cowboys out of the playoffs: It would have been nicer if it happened next week when the Birds play Dallas, but starting their offseason early is always good news.
— The streak is over: Remember what happened the last time the Commies ended a long Eagles winning streak? That was in 2022, when they had their eight-game streak stopped. The Birds went to the Super Bowl that year.
— It stops the Hurts criticism: Is he inconsistent? Yes. Is this team much, much, much better with him on the field than any other option? Also yes.
— It probably means another Eagles/Commies game: That’s the most likely first-round playoff matchup now. Maryland is 1-4 against teams with winning records, twice barely beat the Giants, beat the Saints by one point, needed a Hail Mary to beat the Bears. They could easily be 7-8. I’ll happily take team luck as an opponent over an actual skilled squad.
— It gives the Eagles a bye week: Not a real one, of course. The #1 seed is out of reach now. But that also means that if the Eagles win next week, the final game of the season against the Giants is meaningless. That’s a nice time to get Saquon some records and rest everyone else.
— It almost wasn’t a loss: The Eagles had 10 penalties for 91 yards, lost their starting QB to a concussion, had a backup QB play with an injured rib, had a star defensive back ejected, and still were one bobbled pass away from winning. Fix just one of those problems and we’re talking about another victory.
In the spirit of Christmas, I decided this week not to search for words of spite and malice hidden in the names of Cowboys players and instead performed a simple search for the image of the season: Santa Claus himself. And it took me no time to have his name pop out of a key team contributor: Cowboys Dallas Offensive Tackle Tyler Smith
** My bloc — I hate Santa. Fowl toys, feckless drivel.
In his defense, I might not like Santa much if he only brought me chicken toys. But you can’t expect Cowboys players to know how to spell, even on Christmas.
** I went 2-1 against Dad this week, pushing my lead in our weekly picks contest to six games with two weeks left. Since we never pick Eagles games, that leaves him just 30 match-ups left to catch me. I’ve been getting about 30% of games wrong, so it is possible, but rather difficult.** Why fantasy football stinks, chapter 33: I was the second highest scorer in my head-to-hear money league this week, but I won’t be playing in the championship game because I played the highest-scoring team. He beat me by 4 points. Coincidentally, my QB — Jalen Hurts — only scored four points before leaving with a concussion. Even with the injury, if Hurts had run in that first TD of the game instead of giving it to Barkley inside the five, I would be in the money. Instead, my season is done.
** OK, so the Eagles can clinch the division with a win over the Cowboys now. That’s a decent late Christmas present.
Week 16 standings 1 — Still The Best (Jonathan), 2005.00 pts
2 — Murder Hornets (Mike), 1974.15 pts
3 — Chop Block to the Artery (Capt. Awesome), 1960.40 pts
4 — Kodos for President (Jo), 1925.89 pts
5 — Jabronis (Ant), 1861.83 pts
6 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 1849.41 pts
7 — No One Likes Us We Don't Care (Bob), 1838.97 pts
8 — Beer 'n Chips (Pop), 1835.20 pts
9 — DeVonta’s Inferno (Mom D), 1812.86 pts
10 — The Fightin Pickles (Sam), 1633.50 pts
11 — They Certainly Are Dwarves (Paul), 1464.80 pts
12 — All Rogers No Sauce (Joel), 1316.10 pts
A late season push from Bob and Mom D, who scored 178.84 pts and 168.05 pts respectively, led a big week of scoring, but it wasn’t enough to massively disrupt the standings.
Jonathan remains hanging on to first, but Mike is sneaking up slowly, and I’m lurking (although dependent on the remains of Jalen Hurts to save me). Jo has an outside shot at first place, but everyone else may be playing for pride at this point.
Christmas is tomorrow, but so are two NFL games. And then there’s a Thursday game. And three Saturday games. Don’t forget the Sunday night game! Oh, and the Lions play on Monday. So NFL games on five of the next six days, because the NFL doesn’t want you to spend any time with family. GEt your rosters set and ignore everything but the Eagles game.
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