Eagles WR AJ Brown caught 10 passes for 155 yds in his first game with the Eagles on Sunday, accounting for one-third of the team’s offense for the day and 65 percent of the team’s receiving yards. The impressive debut begs the natural question of where he ranks among the best Browns in Philly football sports history. Consider the other contenders:
** DT Jerome Brown: #99 holds the #1 spot for now. The Pro Bowler was a fearsome presence on the field before his death in 1992. His number was retired by the team shortly thereafter.
** WR Reggie Brown: From 2005-2007, Brown had 150 catches for 2,167 yds and 16 TDs. He was the overlooked wideout bridge between Terrell Owens and DeSean Jackson, but deserves more credit for helping extend the Donovan McNabb era a little longer.
** Eagles DE Reggie White: One of the greatest defensive players in NFL history, but he does not come close to qualifying as one of the better Browns to play here. One of the best color names? Sure. But he’s just all wrong for this.
** DB Sheldon Brown: Over eight years with the Eagles, Sheldon collected 351 tackles and 19 interceptions. He’s best remembered for killing RB Reggie Bush during the 2006 NFC playoffs, for which he was arrested but never charged because no one liked Bush.
** The Eagles brown pants: For the first two seasons of the franchise, in 1933 and 1934, the team wore brown pants with blue and yellow jerseys. Apparently the plan was to blind opposing teams with hideous fashion. It didn’t work, the team went 7-12-1 over that stint and changed to silver pants in 1935.
** Eagles WR Na Brown: He was drafted the same year as McNabb and stunk. For whatever reason, I have a lot of old online accounts with the handle “nabrownsux.” It’s literally the only reason I remember who he was.
** Phillies OF Domonic Brown: He made the All-Star team in 2013 and was supposed to be the team’s next big star. For all I know, he is now working as a parking attendant at the Eagles games.
QB: Patrick Mahomes, 44.90 pts — started by Jo
WR: Justin Jefferson, 28.77 pts — started by Sam
RB: Saquon Barkley, 29.40 pts — started by Mom
TE: Travis Kelce, 18.07 pts — started by Joel
K: Younghoe Koo, 19.00 pts — on the wire
DEF: Pittsburgh, 27.00 pts — on Ant’s bench
D: Minkah Fitzpatrick, 17.50 pts — on the wire
The top four spots on that list were all occupied by players taken in the first three round of this year’s fantasy draft, so no huge surprises there. In fact, 20 of the top 21 scorers on the week were on somebody’s roster. The only omission? Maryland Commies QB Carson Wentz, the #3 player on the week (36.22 pts in his team’s win over the Jags). He also threw a fourth-quarter interception that led directly to a Jacksonville TD, so I’m sure that’s out of his system now and won’t be an issue the rest of the year.
The Steelers are in a rebuilding year, after the departure of QB Ben Roethlisberger and a host of other established names. So naturally they went out and upset the Super Bowl runner-up Bengals on Sunday. Fitzpatrick had 10 tackles, an interception, a blocked kick and a TD in the game. Pittsburgh fans haven’t had to endure an actual losing season since 2003, so if they do start to fall apart as the year goes on, nobody should feel bad for them.
“Opening screw-ups” edition
3rd place: James Cook, -1.80 pts — on Jo’s bench
2nd place: Detroit, -2.00 pts — on the wire
1st place: Arizona, -4.00 pts — on the wire
Only two offensive players scored below zero this week, with Tampa WR Breshad Perriman losing 7 yds on a rushing attempt to total -0.70 pts. Cook, the younger brother of Vikings RB Dalvin Cook, fumbled on his sole rushing attempt Thursday night for the Bills, who didn’t need him at all in the end. Still, not the best way for the rookie to start his career.
Detroit was a bottom 3 defense last year and started off this season in the same fashion. In fact, the Lions defense has totaled just 70 fantasy points over the last 34 games. For comparison, the Dolphins defense (not considered elite) has totaled 39 points in their last two games. The coaching staff might want to work on that half of the ball a little.
** The Rams opened up the NFL season on Thursday night with a home game against Buffalo. The season started on the same field where last year’s ended (with the Rams winning the Super Bowl) and with the team wearing the same uniform set as they did when they lifted the Lombardi trophy: their blue, white and yellow “modern throwback” jerseys.
You know, as opposed to the “alternate primary” jerseys or the “reimagined traditional” jerseys. I for one was hoping for their “sleeveless sleeved” jerseys.
Honestly, my brain was ready for the “Thursday night edition of Sunday night football” this year, but not for announcers babbling about new old jerseys.
** NBC Sports Philly came up with the most Philly headline ever after Sunday’s win against the Lions: “Why AJ Brown might be too good.” The logic, of course, is that because Brown is such a solid WR, the other options on the team — particularly DeVonta Smith — won’t be force-fed the ball enough to learn the position quickly, and the Philly passing offense may be too one dimensional.
That’s definitely something I’m worried about with a QB who always thinks run first and has only thrown more than 300 yds in a game twice. Please don’t let him have one elite receiver, it might hurt the feelings of the mediocre ones.
** On Sunday, the Los Angeles Dodgers became the first team to clinch a playoff spot after they beat the Padres 11-2. The team had a small celebration in the locker room, but since it was their 10th consecutive postseason berth, the party was appropriately subdued.
And that’s great, because on Monday MLB announced that actually, they got the math wrong, there was still a scenario where the Dodgers could lose their next 23 games, get into a three-way tie with other teams and miss out on the postseason. They apologized, and the Dodgers will likely still clinch sometime this week.
How does that happen? Doesn’t MLB have people whose whole job is just to keep track of this stuff? The league has an entire web page dedicated to tiebreakers, playoff game dates and “the longest postseason homers since 2015.” There’s no one on staff who can count?
FYI, the Phillies magic number for a playoff berth is 21. That’s the combination they need of wins, or Brewers losses, or Padres losses, or maybe Eagles losses? I dunno. And I can’t ask MLB to explain it to me anymore.
** The Eagles brown pants: For the first two seasons of the franchise, in 1933 and 1934, the team wore brown pants with blue and yellow jerseys. Apparently the plan was to blind opposing teams with hideous fashion. It didn’t work, the team went 7-12-1 over that stint and changed to silver pants in 1935.
** Eagles WR Na Brown: He was drafted the same year as McNabb and stunk. For whatever reason, I have a lot of old online accounts with the handle “nabrownsux.” It’s literally the only reason I remember who he was.
** Phillies OF Domonic Brown: He made the All-Star team in 2013 and was supposed to be the team’s next big star. For all I know, he is now working as a parking attendant at the Eagles games.
WR: Justin Jefferson, 28.77 pts — started by Sam
RB: Saquon Barkley, 29.40 pts — started by Mom
TE: Travis Kelce, 18.07 pts — started by Joel
K: Younghoe Koo, 19.00 pts — on the wire
DEF: Pittsburgh, 27.00 pts — on Ant’s bench
D: Minkah Fitzpatrick, 17.50 pts — on the wire
The top four spots on that list were all occupied by players taken in the first three round of this year’s fantasy draft, so no huge surprises there. In fact, 20 of the top 21 scorers on the week were on somebody’s roster. The only omission? Maryland Commies QB Carson Wentz, the #3 player on the week (36.22 pts in his team’s win over the Jags). He also threw a fourth-quarter interception that led directly to a Jacksonville TD, so I’m sure that’s out of his system now and won’t be an issue the rest of the year.
The Steelers are in a rebuilding year, after the departure of QB Ben Roethlisberger and a host of other established names. So naturally they went out and upset the Super Bowl runner-up Bengals on Sunday. Fitzpatrick had 10 tackles, an interception, a blocked kick and a TD in the game. Pittsburgh fans haven’t had to endure an actual losing season since 2003, so if they do start to fall apart as the year goes on, nobody should feel bad for them.
“Opening screw-ups” edition3rd place: James Cook, -1.80 pts — on Jo’s bench
2nd place: Detroit, -2.00 pts — on the wire
1st place: Arizona, -4.00 pts — on the wire
Only two offensive players scored below zero this week, with Tampa WR Breshad Perriman losing 7 yds on a rushing attempt to total -0.70 pts. Cook, the younger brother of Vikings RB Dalvin Cook, fumbled on his sole rushing attempt Thursday night for the Bills, who didn’t need him at all in the end. Still, not the best way for the rookie to start his career.
Detroit was a bottom 3 defense last year and started off this season in the same fashion. In fact, the Lions defense has totaled just 70 fantasy points over the last 34 games. For comparison, the Dolphins defense (not considered elite) has totaled 39 points in their last two games. The coaching staff might want to work on that half of the ball a little.
** The Rams opened up the NFL season on Thursday night with a home game against Buffalo. The season started on the same field where last year’s ended (with the Rams winning the Super Bowl) and with the team wearing the same uniform set as they did when they lifted the Lombardi trophy: their blue, white and yellow “modern throwback” jerseys. You know, as opposed to the “alternate primary” jerseys or the “reimagined traditional” jerseys. I for one was hoping for their “sleeveless sleeved” jerseys.
Honestly, my brain was ready for the “Thursday night edition of Sunday night football” this year, but not for announcers babbling about new old jerseys.
** NBC Sports Philly came up with the most Philly headline ever after Sunday’s win against the Lions: “Why AJ Brown might be too good.” The logic, of course, is that because Brown is such a solid WR, the other options on the team — particularly DeVonta Smith — won’t be force-fed the ball enough to learn the position quickly, and the Philly passing offense may be too one dimensional.
That’s definitely something I’m worried about with a QB who always thinks run first and has only thrown more than 300 yds in a game twice. Please don’t let him have one elite receiver, it might hurt the feelings of the mediocre ones.
** On Sunday, the Los Angeles Dodgers became the first team to clinch a playoff spot after they beat the Padres 11-2. The team had a small celebration in the locker room, but since it was their 10th consecutive postseason berth, the party was appropriately subdued.
And that’s great, because on Monday MLB announced that actually, they got the math wrong, there was still a scenario where the Dodgers could lose their next 23 games, get into a three-way tie with other teams and miss out on the postseason. They apologized, and the Dodgers will likely still clinch sometime this week.
How does that happen? Doesn’t MLB have people whose whole job is just to keep track of this stuff? The league has an entire web page dedicated to tiebreakers, playoff game dates and “the longest postseason homers since 2015.” There’s no one on staff who can count?
FYI, the Phillies magic number for a playoff berth is 21. That’s the combination they need of wins, or Brewers losses, or Padres losses, or maybe Eagles losses? I dunno. And I can’t ask MLB to explain it to me anymore.
Actual parlay bets that I thought about making in Atlantic City in mid-August that I now regret passing up:
** Eagles over 9.5 wins, Jaguars over 6.5 wins, Eagles make the playoffs, Jaguars make the playoffs. ($10 bet pays out $287)
— The birds have a suddenly easy path to the NFC East title, and the Jaguars play in a division that saw no teams win in week 1. This feels very possible.
** Titans, Niners, Cowboys and Dolphins all miss the playoffs. ($10 bet pays out $233).
— The first three all looked terrible this week, and the Dolphins still have to play the Bills twice and always lose to the Jets once. I wouldn’t be betting on any of them to make the playoffs.
** Eagles win the NFC East, Eagles over 9.5 wins, Giants miss the playoffs, Commies miss the playoffs ($10 bet wins $128).
— The only real downside here is that the NFC East might be won with seven victories. The division don’t look so good.
** Packers under 11.5 wins, Bucs under 11.5 wins, Packers miss the playoffs, Bucs miss the playoffs. ($10 bet wins $640)
— OK, this is still a long shot. But neither team looked good in week 1, and Brady is getting older and older…
** Cowboys, Commies and Giants miss the playoffs. Eagles win the Super Bowl. ($10 bet pays $2,988).
— Still tempting.
Really bad opening week for the Cowboys — not only did they lose in embarrassing fashion on national TV, but they also may have lost starting QB Dak Prescott for the next two months with a thumb injury. This is the latest in a series of significant injuries for Prescott. In fact, we had an anagram on his leg injuries just last season. So it’s only fitting to rearrange the letters in his name to show that a hand injury should come as no surprise either.
Cowboys Dak Prescott’s hand injury
** Pa can just cry: His body doesn’t work
Remember, you can’t spell “Dak Prescott” without “rotted packs.”
** Dad and I split the opening weekend of picks, going 10-6, which feels like a solid start. I’m not sure anyone in America picked the Bears to win that game against the 49ers, so we can’t feel too bad about dropping that one.
** The Cowboys are 32nd in the league in points scored. Just saying.
** FYI, I’m saving all of my “tie game” jokes for when the Eagles end up in a baffling draw against the Giants later this year.
Week 1 standings
1 — Eisey's Outstanding Team (Eileen), 1-0/164.22 pts
2 — Jimmy's Chicken Shaq (Jim), 1-0/138.72 pts
3 — Mary Alice's Primo Team (Mom), 1-0/137.30 pts
4 — Always Runny in Philly (Capt. Awesome), 1-0/128.96 pts
5 — Chief Little Owl - JJG (Younger Jim), 0-1 142.12 pts
6 — Mailata Man or Beast? (Dad), 0-1/123.68 pts
7 — Stacked Dead Achterts (Carl), 0-1/107.08 pts
8 — America's Losers (Dak Prescott), 0-1, 38.66 pts
Oh, were you expecting different standings?
This year marks the start of the Garrity Throwdown League, open to family members who wanted to play fantasy football but needed more family drama involved. Our opening week featured one son getting beat badly by his mother, one father getting beat narrowly by his son (ahem) and Mom beating the snot out of our special team, the 2022 Dallas Cowboys (the roster is nothing but Dallas players, and they are not good).
We still haven’t decided on a prize for the winner of the league, but needless to say it won’t be as coveted as some other league’s trophies. Speaking of which, onto the Awesome Cup standings…
1 — Champ For Life (Jo), 152.84 pts
2 — Not That Four Seasons (Ant), 128.07 pts
3 — Ouch! It Hurts (Mom D), 121.12 pts
4 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 115.58 pts
5 — Let's Go Iggles! (Paul), 114.33 pts
6 — JJaw dropping skillz (Capt. Awesome), 109.33 pts
7 — Murder Hornets (Mike), 105.77 pts
8 — Mailata's Size 18 Shoes (Dad), 104.85 pts
9 — More Honey Bunches of Goats (Jonathan), 99.39 pts
10 — Patriots Secret Cam (Joel), 96.73 pts
11 — No One Likes Us We Don't Care (Bob), 92.26 pts
12 — Room Temperature Icers (Sam), 91.46 pts
New year, same song — Jo finished last season at the top of the leaderboard and starts there again. In fact, the distance between her and second place is the same gap between second and eighth place.
Still, it was a strong opening showing all around. When the last place team almost breaks 100, you know it’s going to be a close season. Heck, even Paul set his roster!
Remember that waivers run on Tuesday nights (for both leagues) so if you want to pick up any new players, get your claims in early or watch the good ones get stolen away. And get your rosters set for Thursday — the early game this week is Chiefs vs. Chargers, which could produce plenty of scoring. Or a 9-3 dudfest, if the featured games this weekend contaminate the rest of the NFL.
** Eagles over 9.5 wins, Jaguars over 6.5 wins, Eagles make the playoffs, Jaguars make the playoffs. ($10 bet pays out $287)
— The birds have a suddenly easy path to the NFC East title, and the Jaguars play in a division that saw no teams win in week 1. This feels very possible.
** Titans, Niners, Cowboys and Dolphins all miss the playoffs. ($10 bet pays out $233).
— The first three all looked terrible this week, and the Dolphins still have to play the Bills twice and always lose to the Jets once. I wouldn’t be betting on any of them to make the playoffs.
** Eagles win the NFC East, Eagles over 9.5 wins, Giants miss the playoffs, Commies miss the playoffs ($10 bet wins $128).
— The only real downside here is that the NFC East might be won with seven victories. The division don’t look so good.
** Packers under 11.5 wins, Bucs under 11.5 wins, Packers miss the playoffs, Bucs miss the playoffs. ($10 bet wins $640)
— OK, this is still a long shot. But neither team looked good in week 1, and Brady is getting older and older…
** Cowboys, Commies and Giants miss the playoffs. Eagles win the Super Bowl. ($10 bet pays $2,988).
— Still tempting.
Really bad opening week for the Cowboys — not only did they lose in embarrassing fashion on national TV, but they also may have lost starting QB Dak Prescott for the next two months with a thumb injury. This is the latest in a series of significant injuries for Prescott. In fact, we had an anagram on his leg injuries just last season. So it’s only fitting to rearrange the letters in his name to show that a hand injury should come as no surprise either.Cowboys Dak Prescott’s hand injury
** Pa can just cry: His body doesn’t work
Remember, you can’t spell “Dak Prescott” without “rotted packs.”
** Dad and I split the opening weekend of picks, going 10-6, which feels like a solid start. I’m not sure anyone in America picked the Bears to win that game against the 49ers, so we can’t feel too bad about dropping that one.** The Cowboys are 32nd in the league in points scored. Just saying.
** FYI, I’m saving all of my “tie game” jokes for when the Eagles end up in a baffling draw against the Giants later this year.
Week 1 standings
1 — Eisey's Outstanding Team (Eileen), 1-0/164.22 pts
2 — Jimmy's Chicken Shaq (Jim), 1-0/138.72 pts
3 — Mary Alice's Primo Team (Mom), 1-0/137.30 pts
4 — Always Runny in Philly (Capt. Awesome), 1-0/128.96 pts
5 — Chief Little Owl - JJG (Younger Jim), 0-1 142.12 pts
6 — Mailata Man or Beast? (Dad), 0-1/123.68 pts
7 — Stacked Dead Achterts (Carl), 0-1/107.08 pts
8 — America's Losers (Dak Prescott), 0-1, 38.66 pts
Oh, were you expecting different standings?
This year marks the start of the Garrity Throwdown League, open to family members who wanted to play fantasy football but needed more family drama involved. Our opening week featured one son getting beat badly by his mother, one father getting beat narrowly by his son (ahem) and Mom beating the snot out of our special team, the 2022 Dallas Cowboys (the roster is nothing but Dallas players, and they are not good).
We still haven’t decided on a prize for the winner of the league, but needless to say it won’t be as coveted as some other league’s trophies. Speaking of which, onto the Awesome Cup standings…
1 — Champ For Life (Jo), 152.84 pts
2 — Not That Four Seasons (Ant), 128.07 pts
3 — Ouch! It Hurts (Mom D), 121.12 pts
4 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 115.58 pts
5 — Let's Go Iggles! (Paul), 114.33 pts
6 — JJaw dropping skillz (Capt. Awesome), 109.33 pts
7 — Murder Hornets (Mike), 105.77 pts
8 — Mailata's Size 18 Shoes (Dad), 104.85 pts
9 — More Honey Bunches of Goats (Jonathan), 99.39 pts
10 — Patriots Secret Cam (Joel), 96.73 pts
11 — No One Likes Us We Don't Care (Bob), 92.26 pts
12 — Room Temperature Icers (Sam), 91.46 pts
New year, same song — Jo finished last season at the top of the leaderboard and starts there again. In fact, the distance between her and second place is the same gap between second and eighth place.
Still, it was a strong opening showing all around. When the last place team almost breaks 100, you know it’s going to be a close season. Heck, even Paul set his roster!
Remember that waivers run on Tuesday nights (for both leagues) so if you want to pick up any new players, get your claims in early or watch the good ones get stolen away. And get your rosters set for Thursday — the early game this week is Chiefs vs. Chargers, which could produce plenty of scoring. Or a 9-3 dudfest, if the featured games this weekend contaminate the rest of the NFL.
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