** The Eagles lose to the Redskins, beat the Cardinals, lose to the Lions, beat the Vikings, lose to the Bears, beat the Cowboys, finish 8-8 (3-3 in division).
** The Cowboys lose to the Giants, beat the Raiders, beat the Bears, beat Green Bay, lose to the Redskins, lose to the Eagles, finish 8-8 (3-3 in division).
** The Giants split with the Redskins, beat the Giants, beat the Packers, beat the Chargers, lose to the Seahawks, beat the Lions, finish 8-8 (3-3 in division).
** The Redskins split with the Giants, beat the Eagles, beat the 49ers, lose to the Chiefs, beat the Falcons, beat the Cowboys, finish 8-8 (3-3 in division).
In that scenario, the Giants and Redskins would be eliminated from the division title on the fourth tiebreaker (in-conference wins), and the playoff spot would be decided on “strength of victory” -- higher win percentage of all opponents -- between the Eagles and Cowboys.
The winner would then host the 49ers in the wild card game, and lose 54-3.
QB: Drew Brees, 39.68 pts -- started by AntWR: Tavon Austin, 33.04 pts -- on the wire
RB: Pierre Thomas, 29.30 pts -- on Paul’s bench
TE: John Carlson, 19.53 pts -- on the wire
K: Steven Hauschka, 19.00 pts -- on the wire
DEF: St. Louis, 31.00 pts -- on the wire
D: Vincent Rey, 14.50 pts -- on the wire
Well, at least Anthony started one of the top performers for us. Don’t cry for Paul too much there -- he had six of the top 27 point-scorers this week, and started four of them.
Meanwhile, Brees has 267 fantasy pts this year and is having an MVP-NPM season -- MVP, not Peyton Manning. Brees has 25 TDs and has passed for more than 3,000 yds already. Manning? He has eight more TDs and almost 200 more yds (and 309 fantasy pts).
By the way, Hauschka is the best kicker in all of fantasy football and he’s unowned. Just saying.
3rd place: Jake Locker, -1.24 pts -- on the wire
2nd place: Jerrel Jernigan, -1.62 pts -- on the wire
1st place: Dallas, -3.00 pts -- on the wire
You know who else sucks? Eli Manning. 10 weeks into the season and he’s the 25th-ranked QB in football, with 125 fantasy pts. Rams QB Sam Bradford has 20 more fantasy pts and he went on the season-ending injury list three weeks ago. Eagles QB Nick Foles has 34 more fantasy points in almost 200 fewer pass attempts.
I present to you Fox’s top announcing crew, narrating the Eagles/Packers game, with the score 27-13 and 10 minutes left in this game:
Joe Buck: The Packers recover the ball! And this game is far from over.
Troy Aikman: This game is far from over. And there’s plenty of time left too.
Thanks, Troy. You helped a lot there.
The NFC East could end up without a single team above .500 this year, but that doesn’t mean they’re the worst division in football. Here’s a look at the contenders:
AFC North
Overall record: 17-20
Non-division record: 11-14
Best team: 6-4 (Bengals)
Worst team: 3-6 (Steelers)
NFC South
Overall record: 16-20
Non-division record: 11-15
Best team: 7-2 (Saints)
Worst team: 1-8 (Bucs)
NFC East
Overall record: 16-22
Non-division record: 10-16
Best team: 5-5 (Eagles and Cowboys)
Worst team: 3-6 (Giants and Redskins)
AFC South
Overall record: 13-23
Non-division record: 9-19
Best team: 6-3 (Colts)
Worst team: 1-8 (Jaguars)
And remember -- those Colts just got smoked by the 4-6 Rams, so don’t tell me they’re substantially better than the Eagles or Cowboys.
I was wondering what Cowboys’ second-year defensive back Micah Pellerin does for fun in the fall, because after this week’s 49-17 thumping at the hands of the Saints, it’s pretty clear he doesn’t practice pass defense.
What he does do, of course, is spread evil.
Dallas Cowboys CB Micah Pellerin
** Cold snowy belch, impale a lad’s rib
Whatever you need to do to slow those receivers down, right?
** Dad is up 12 games in our weekly picks and I really, really have run out of ways to explain my complete football ignorance away. With skills this awful, I should work for ESPN.
** What people say down here: “If you change the name of the Redskins, where does it stop? Do we have to change the Raiders too, because someone finds that offensive?”
What I hear: “Where does it stop? Do we have to stop eating babies now, because someone finds that offensive?”
I hate slippery slope arguments. Maybe just deal with the issue in front of you instead of hypotheticals.
Week 10 standings 1 -- the american way (Sam) -- 1484.74
2 -- III-time Champion (Capt. Awesome) -- 1450.42
3 -- I Mildly Like WRs (Paul) -- 1416.60
4 -- Sheldon Cooper (Dad) -- 1414.73
5 -- Blue Collar Killers (Jeff) -- 1335.58
6 -- Bad like Congress (Jim) -- 1253.92
7 -- Show Me Your TDs (Ant) -- 1217.15
8 -- Gettin' Chippy (Joanner) -- 1190.28
9 -- The Maltese Falcons (Bobert) -- 1173.50
10 -- Cheatstrong (ChampMike) -- 1166.82
11 -- Timmy and The Jets (Joel) -- 1024.80
Not sure Mike has ever been this low in the standings before, but it’ll take some more work to completely bottom out.
Meanwhile, Paul has resurrected his squad from the dead, and I picked up another few points on Sam. At this pace, I should pass him in week 37 of the season.
It’s good to know that even in a week where Riley Cooper suddenly looks like an All-Pro and the Colts get destroyed by the lowly Rams, some things are still consistent: Anthony’s team still stinks.
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