2012 fantasy recap -- week 11

** For one more Eagles/Dallas and Eagles/Giants game left, so I have some reason to care the rest of the way.
** For the fact that there's still enough college football on to distract me from the possibility of another Giants/Patriots Super Bowl.
** For Brian Dawkins and Brian Westbrook retiring before they got seriously injured.
** For Nick Foles reminding me that Mike McMahon, Bobby Hoying and Bubby Brister were once starting QBs for this team, so it could be worse.
** For the reality that no matter how bad the Eagles are, they can't erase the Phillies' 2008 World Series Championship.
** For T.J. Houshmandzadeh and Chris Fuamatu-Ma'afala and LaRod Stephens-Howling, because instant comedy.
** For insuring there are only six games left (at most) watching Andy Reid coach the Eagles.

QB: Matt Schaub, 47.08 pts -- on Dad's bench
WR: Andre Johnson, 38.20 pts -- started by Sam
RB: LaRod Stephens-Howling, 21.10 pts -- started by me
TE: Rob Gronkowski, 28.03 pts -- started by Joel
K: Josh Scobee, 15.50 pts -- on the wire
DEF: New England, 28.00 pts -- on Heidi's bench
D: Von Miller, 13.50 pts -- on the wire

Schaub's monster day came courtesy of 527 passing yards, the second most in NFL history. The single-game passing mark is, of course, held by Norm Van Brocklin, with his 554-yard performance in the Los Angeles Rams win over the New York Yanks in 1951. That game was also the first time an NFL team featured three wideouts on the field at the same time. It also only took Van Brocklin 27 completions for that staggering total.

What I'm saying here is that today's pro quarterbacks haven't managed to catch up to the 1950s yet.


"People started by Doyles" edition
3rd place: (tie) Jeremy Maclin, 0.00 pts -- started by Jo
3rd place: (tie) Danny Woodhead, 0.00 pts -- started by Jo
2nd place: Peyton Hillis, -1.10 pts -- started by Heidi
1st place: Houston, -2.00 pts -- started by ChampMike

Despite outward appearances, ChampMike and Heidi have managed to hang around near the middle of the pack. And that other Doyle? Well, maybe there's a participation trophy at the end of the season...

For the record, the worst player of the week was the Indianapolis defense, which posted a lowest-possible -6.00 pts. 59 pts allowed, no sacks, no turnovers, no heart. Remember, heart is worth 1 point.

Stunning losses by Oregon and Kansas State in college football this weekend vaulted Notre Dame's squad to #1 in the rankings, the first time in 19 years they've been in the top spot. Here's a look at just how long that gap atop the polls has been:

** Back then, the Baltimore Ravens, Tennessee Titans, Carolina Panthers, Jacksonville Jaguars, and Houston Texans had never played a down.
** Back then, Florida legend Tim Tebow was only in second grade.
** Back then, Notre Dame legend Joe Montana was still playing in the NFL.
** Since then, WR Issac Bruce, QB Kurt Warner, and RB Marshall Faulk have played their entire careers.
** Since then, the entire BCS system has been developed, been implemented, been ridiculed and been scheduled for replacement.
** Since then, the SEC has won 10 of its 38 national championships.
** Since then, Notre Dame has played 230 games.

After that dreadful, dreadful Eagles game on Sunday, the local radio station aired a Susquehanna Bank commercial stating that their employees were "gearing up for a long successful season, just like the Eagles" and would be a partner with the team "as they make the push towards the big game" and promised that "just like the Eagles strive for excellence, so do our customer service representatives."

I appreciate the local tie-in, but you may want to update that ad for late in the season. My suggestions would be "The Eagles' incompetence is surpassed only by our success" or "Mortgage rates as low as the Eagles' offensive output this week."

The Eagles haven't won a game since Sept. 30, a fact that's both depressing and historic. The Eagles still have a ways to go to reach their longest losing streak ever (14 games, in the 1930s) but if they drop Monday night's game to Carolina, they can become the first Philly squad in the Super Bowl era to lose all of their games in October and November.

Think about that for a second. October and November are when football is FOOTBALL, when you're finally out of the baseball groove and getting serious about shaking off the September start. This team has manged to suck completely when everyone else was getting better.

For the record, the Eagles still can't be eliminated from the NFC East title with another loss, but they can be knocked out mathematically the first week in December if all goes well.

Dallas managed to snag an undeserved overtime victory against Cleveland this weekend, a tragedy that not only hurts the good people of Ohio but also undermines the fabric of this entire country. Don't believe me? Just look at the letters, my fellow patriots:

Cowboys steal a win in overtime
** Soviets win, America bent low. Oy.   

Remember -- every Cowboys win moves us closer to losing the Cold War. That's just scientific fact.

Week 11 standings

Sam managed to jump ahead of me and within two-points of first place with an impressive 169-pt performance this week (although, three of his players scored 100 pts, the other nine starters just barely broke 68). I'm less than six points out in third, and Heidi is ... well, she's closer to the top than she has been. Let's leave it at that.

On the other end of the spectrum, Paul started two guys on a bye, two more injured players, and a WR who scored zero pts. I think he may have checked out.

** The only bit of good football news this weekend is that I picked up two more games on Dad, leaving me a respectable six games back in our weekly picks with six weeks left to go. I actually picked 12 of 14 games  correctly this weekend. Yes, the Eagles were one of the two losses.

** Reason #787 why we should be playing college fantasy football: Temple RB Montel Harris rushed for 351 yards and 7 TDs in the team's 63-32 victory over Army on Sunday. Those totals would have been worth 77.1 fantasy pts in our league. Army QB Trent Steelman rushed for 139 yards and 3 TDs (34.7 fantasy pts, with passing yards) in the loss. No, you can't pick either of them up for next week.

** Subway now has Robert Griffin III and Michael Strahan advertising their new Philly cheesesteak sandwiches. Because athletes from Maryland and New York are the best voices for any Philadelphia foods.

** This Thursday is Thanksgiving, in case you forgot. Remember to set your fantasy rosters before the turkey onslaught. Otherwise, you'll be thinking about Jason Witten when the apple pie comes out, and nobody wants that.