2010 fantasy recap, week 17

** Neither Kevin Kolb nor Donovan McNabb was the right choice at QB for the Eagles.
** It doesn't matter what else happens, Peyton Manning will end up in the playoffs.
** It doesn't matter what else happens, Eli Manning will choke in December.
** Terrell Owens can still play, but somehow that means fewer wins, not more.
** Football should never be played on Tuesday nights, unless it's college teams no one cares about.
** The NFC West is, and always has been, simply terrible.
** Brett Favre is one of the greatest QBs in NFL history, and nobody wants to see him play ever again.

Top QBs
1st place: Tom Brady, 371.00 pts – 5th QB drafted (me)
2nd place: Aaron Rodgers, 360.48 pts – 1st QB drafted (Bobert)
3rd place: Mike Vick, 352.32 pts – Waiver pick-up (me)
No one can tell you that just a few months ago they saw Vick cracking the top three, but at least the other two here were expected.

Top RBs
1st place: Arian Foster, 374.87 pts – 25th RB drafted (Joel)
2nd place: Peyton Hillis, 279.52 pts – 44th RB drafted (NewMike)
3rd place: LeSean McCoy, 277.97 pts – 18th RB drafted (me)
You can't say the same for these guys. Arian Foster, who no one ever heard of before September, easily won the league rushing title and was the best fantasy player overall.

Top WRs
1st place: Roddy White, 273.40 pts – 8th WR drafted (Jeff)
2nd place: Dwayne Bowe, 240.37 pts – 19th WR drafted (ChampMike)
3rd place: Brandon Lloyd, 238.73 pts – Waiver pick-up (ChampMike)
Dwayne Bowe (whose parents apparently wanted to name him Rainbow but had a speech impediment) was a mild surprise here, but Lloyd was a stunner. He had more yards and catches this year than in three years with the Bears and Racial Slurs combined.

Top TEs
1st place: Jason Witten, 215.30 pts – 7th TE drafted (NewMike)
2nd place: Mercedes Lewis, 162.17 pts – 18th TE drafted (ChampMike)
3rd place: Antonio Gates, 162.13 pts – 2nd TE drafted (NewMike)
The #1 drafted TE? Brent Celek. How'd that work out for the first half of the season?

Top K
1st place: Sebastian Janikowski, 158.00 pts – 10th K drafted (Joel)
2nd place: David Akers, 154.50 pts – 12th K drafted (ChampMike)
3rd place: Josh Brown, 139.00 pts – Never used
Twelve teams in the league, and no one had use for poor Josh Brown? So sad.

Top DEF
1st place: Pittsburgh, 221.00 pts – 5th DEF drafted (Jeff)
2nd place: New England, 218.00 pts – Waiver pick-up (me)
3rd place: Green Bay, 210.00 pts – 4th DEF drafted (ChampMike)
Frankly, I only get surprised when Pittsburgh doesn't have one of the top three defenses. Hopefully Green Bay's D will suffer a sudden breakdown next Sunday.

Top D
1st place: Kerry Rhodes, 79.00 pts – Waiver pick-up (NewMike)
2nd place: James Harrison, 77.50 pts – Waiver pick-up (ChampMike)
3rd place: Terrell Thomas, 77.00 pts – Waiver pick-up (Paul)
3rd place: Ray Lewis, 77.00 pts – Waiver pick-up (Joel)
And, once again, none of us have any idea how to draft defensive players. But at least we corrected our mistakes.

“Year-end” edition

5th place: Sage Rosenfels, -0.30 pts
4th place: Brodie Croyle, -0.48 pts
3rd place: Levi Brown, -1.04 pts
2nd place: Brian Brohm, -3.76 pts
1st place: Todd Collins, -7.28 pts

The bottom six spots of the year all went to backup QBs, but no one was quick as spectacularly awful on the year as the Bears second-string signal caller.

In two appearances this year, Collins passed for just 68 yards and five interceptions. His QB rating for the season was 5.9, roughly seven times worse than your QB rating for the year (1 attempt, 0 completions equals a 39.5 rating). For good measure, he was also sacked twice.

Amazingly, Chicago was 1-1 in those games, beating Carolina 23-6 in a game where Collins threw four picks. Just so we’re clear on that point: The Bears would have been better off not fielding a QB in that game, and they still won by 17 points.

If you missed that contest, don’t worry. I’m sure the NFL Network will be airing it as an instant classic for years to come.

Players who appeared in Sunday's games who I was sure had retired already:

** Mark Brunell: The 40-year-old QB, in his 15th year, threw two TDs and a pick in the Jets' win over Buffalo on Sunday.
** Fred Taylor: The aging RB, whose career appeared over in 2002 because of leg injuries, had 10 carries in the Patriots win over the Dolphins.
** Greg Lewis: The eight-year WR, who hasn't caught more than 20 passes in a season since 2005, had a tackle in the Vikings loss to the Lions.
** Donte Stallworth: The controversial WR, who was suspended for the season two years ago following a fatal DUI accident, had one rush for 15 yards in the Ravens win over the Bengals.
** Takeo Spikes: The 13-year LB, who had recorded a sack in each of his last 12 seasons, had three tackles but no sacks in the 49ers win over the Cardinals.
** Kevin Kolb: The fourth-year QB, who came into this year as the Eagles' starter, sorta sucks.

This weekend marked the end of the regular season, but not the end of stupid. Here's a quick sampling of what to expect as the playoffs roll around:

Before the games started, ESPN talking head Chris Berman said the Green Bay Packers had a chance to end the playoff hopes for the Giants "and the largest TV market in America, much to the NFL's dismay." So, ESPN has finally acknowledged that the New York Jets do not play in New York or have any fans there.

During the Eagles game, the FOX announcers explained that three teams were vying for the final playoff spot "but only one of them, the Packers, controls their own destiny." You know, as opposed to all three of them controlling their own destiny, and all three of them getting in on that one playoff spot.

Sunday night, following a Seattle TD by WR Mike Williams , NBC analyst Chris Collinsworth exclaimed "what a long, strange ride it has been for this guy." I did not realize that Collinsworth went to the same Catholic high school as me, where the senior prom theme was "what a long, strange journey it's been" because the word "trip" was too suggestive.

But my personal favorite of the weekend came during the CBS telecast of the Chargers-Broncos game, when QB Phillip Rivers scrambled past a blitzing linebacker and tossed a beautiful 20-yard pass for a first down:

Color announcer: "Did you see that? You think Phillip Rivers doesn't care about this game? Do you think Rivers thinks this game is meaningless and doesn't care if he wins?"
Play-by-play announcer: "No, no I don't. I didn't say that."

Sorry to say, but the commentary only gets worse as the games get more important.

Why wait until this season is over to start worrying about next year? Here's a quick breakdown of the Eagles' already set opponents for next season, and their chances of beating them:

Home Games: Cowboys, Giants, Racial Slurs, Patriots, Jets, Niners, Cardinals, Bears
** The Patriots and Jets are harsh home opponents, and with the loss of CB Asante Samuel for the 2011 season (convicted of insider trading) Tom Brady and Mark Sanchez carve up the defense in lopsided losses, and a mid-season upset loss to the 0-6 Racial Slurs hurts too. But the Eagles steal an early-season win against the Bears (a fourth quarter Devin Hester fumble sets up the game-winning field goal), and beat the rest of their NFC opponents, to finish 5-3 at home.

Away Games: Cowboys, Giants, Racial Slurs, Bills, Dolphins, Seahawks, Rams, Falcons
** LeSean McCoy rushes for a team-record 240 yards in an early match-up in Buffalo, setting up a season-long theme of "run first" for the new-look Eagles. A mid-season loss in Atlanta doesn't hurt as much as a dreadful game against 2-6 Seattle (Mike Vick, three INTs and two fumbles) but the team finishes strong to post a 11-5 record overall. Unfortunately, that Seahawks loss costs them a first-round bye again.

Conclusion: Actually, it's 2013 you should really start worrying about. Have you seen that schedule? Ugh.

The Cowboys handled the Eagles second-stringers on Sunday, completing their season with a 6-10 record. Sure, the team didn't quite reach their pre-season Super Bowl expectations, but a few nice games at the end of the season and a win against the NFC East champs to close the year has to leave the Cowboys with some positive momentum, right? Let's anagram it and see:

Cowboys rally in final game for a victory
** No valor: Crying Cowboy army fails at life

That seems a bit harsh. Maybe if we just phrase it a little differently?

Dallas squad manages win in their last week
** Therein, squawking seals still damned. Waaa

OK, but really, can we leave the boys for the year on such a negative anagram? One more, please:

Big D triumphs in final weekend contest
** But finish lacks redemption. Wet ending

That'll do it. Have fun playing golf while good teams play the Super Bowl in your home, cowpokes.

** Dad and I split the final slate of game this week, giving me a slim one-game victory in our weekly picks contest ... but a victory nonetheless. It's our closest finish ever and only the sixth time I've won the rivalry since I left home for college (I think ... to be honest, we usually forget who won by the time the next season rolls around). As punishment, Dad has to wear the shirt of my choosing when we go to Citizens Bank Park later this spring. I'll make him wear his embarrassing #33 Cliff Lee shirt, while I wear my far superior #34 Cliff Lee shirt.

** Only 87 days until baseball season begins.

** I'd like to point out once again that when I said Kevin Kolb was the wrong choice at QB for the Eagles, I was completely right. Nevermind the logic behind it. The important point here is to recognize the conclusion was correct.

** Don't forget: University of Delaware plays for the national championship of college football (in the division that really matters) this Friday night. You're rooting for the guys with blue and yellow helmets this time, not against them.

Coming tomorrow -- the final season recap, and the engraving of the Awesome Cup.