2010 fantasy recap, week 16

Nine years ago, the NFL struggled with the decision of whether to postpone their entire slate of games for a weekend after the deadliest terrorist attack on American soil stunned the nation and grounded every single plane in the country. They did, after several days of deliberation and some emotional patriotic words on both sides of the debate.

On Sunday, the NFL decided to postpone the Eagles/Vikings game after about three hours of listening to weathermen predict unbearably heavy snowfall in New York and Boston, hundreds of miles north of Lincoln Financial Field, because of concerns about how bad the roads outside the stadium might be.

I guess what I'm trying to tell you, as gently as possible, is that the terrorists won.

Hey, Ed Rendell agrees with me.

QB: Aaron Rodgers, 42.76 pts – started by Bobert
RB: Jamaal Charles, 26.37 pts – started by Paul
WR: Jerome Simpson, 26.27 pts – sitting on the wire
TE: Kellen Winslow, 25.53 pts – started by Jeff
K: Sebastian Janikowski, 19.00 pts – started by Joel
DEF: New England, 26.00 pts – started by me
D: Antoine Winfield, 18.00 pts – sitting on the wire

Winfield, the Vikings cornerback, got 10 of his 18 pts on that first-half sack-fumble-TD against the Eagles on Monday night. Luckily, the Birds played poorly enough that didn't really matter in the end.

By the way, Heidi's team scored just 59 pts this week, one of the worst outings ever in league history. That's largely because her top RB and starting QB were both benched this week, and she did nothing in response. For comparison's sake, Bobert's starting QB and top running back posted 52 pts on their own.

“Names you know” edition
3rd place: Fred Taylor, -0.30 pts – sitting on the wire
2nd place: Brodie Croyle, -2.08 pts – sitting on the wire
1st place: Mike Tolbert, -2.20 pts – started by Paul

How is it even possible that Fred Taylor is even playing? His knees were washed up six years ago.

By the way, just last month I wrote this:

"Paul started the worst player in the league for the third time this year. Two times is bad coaching. Three? That's just rotten luck. FYI, four is destiny."

It's destiny, Paul. Sorry.

Think you know the NFL? Then see if you can name which of the following folks are 2010 Pro-Bowlers, and which ones are space Marines from the movie Aliens.

** Al Apone: Pro-Bowl or space? Answer
** Marc Mariani: Pro-Bowl or space? Answer
** Maurkice Pouncey: Pro-Bowl or space? Answer
** Daniel Spunkmeyer: Pro-Bowl or space? Answer
** Logan Mankins: Pro-Bowl or space? Answer
** Vonta Leach: Pro-Bowl or space? Answer
** Trevor Wierzbowski: Pro-Bowl or space? Answer

If you got fewer than five right, game over, man, game over.

On the NFL Network's special Saturday edition of Thursday Night Football (OK, right there, stop. That alone is stupid enough to stop typing this entire section. If you can't decide what day of the week it is, you shouldn't be airing football, driving cars, or speaking on any sort of mass media. I'm going to start having special Monday editions of Saturday afternoon and see if my bosses still expect me to show up for work ...)

On the NFL Network's special Saturday edition of Thursday Night Football, when they were talking about the possibility of the Eagles and Vikings playing in a blizzard, Marshall Faulk let loose the following line:

"This definitely plays in favor of the Vikings, because they're more familiar with this kind of weather. Remember, the Vikings played in a snowstorm last week, the first outdoor game in Minnesota in 23 years."

So, to recap, a team which lost by four touchdowns in their first home outdoor game since Ronald Reagan was president is more equipped to handle bad weather than an Eagles team which plays multiple outdoor home games every winter. Makes perfect sense to me.

The spectacular sports blog The700Level is running a poll right now to pick the most shocking moment in Philadelphia sports for 2010. Here's what their candidates are:

** The Eagles trade Donovan McNabb within the division.
** The Flyers come back from 0-3 down in the playoffs to beat the Bruins in seven.
** The Eagles name Mike Vick their starter.
** The Phillies sign Cliff Lee.
** The Eagles score four TDs in the last 9 minutes to beat the Giants.

While that's a great list, here's what that leaves off:

** Roy Halladay pitches a perfect game.
** The Sixers get the number two pick in the NBA draft.
** Roy Halladay pitches the second no-hitter in MLB playoff history.
** The Eagles score 45 points in the first half against the Maryland Racial Slurs.
** Jayson Werth signs with the Washington Natinals.

And, of course, there's the not-necessarily-shocking but still-notable events:

** The Flyers reach the Stanley Cup finals.
** The Philadelphia Union plays its inaugural season.
** The Phillies reach their third straight NLCS.
** Roy Halladay wins the Cy Young by unanimous vote.
** The Eagles win the NFC East division title.

Yeah, that all happened this year.

Around this time of year I always hear the same thing (or, I would if anyone were still reading these recaps): How do you come up with all those anagrams?

Every year I try to explain to you folks that I'm not making this stuff up. If you look hard enough, the vile blackness that lies in the soul of every cowboys player easily emerges from the letters in their name. And if you still don't believe that, you can ask the players themselves:

Dallas Cowboys Right Guard Montrae Holland
** Lo, anagrams hold truth. Clownboys lag, I dread.

I ask you, what further proof do you need?

Click on the image below to make it bigger:

We've never had a closer race than this, folks. I've grabbed the lead in the penultimate week of the season, but I'm ahead of ChampMike and Bobert by about a TD. What will the final week bring? Bob's first Awesome Cup championship? My second? ChampMike's third?

Just a few more days and we'll know.

** The Saints big win on Monday night kept the Eagles' hope of home-field advantage throughout the NFC playoffs alive and gave me a one-game edge on Dad in our weekly picks going into the final slate of the season. Much like the fantasy season, it all comes down to one more week...

** Fantasy playoff challenge? Anyone? Anyone?

** By the way, the Eagles game on NBC was also "a special Tuesday night edition of Sunday Night Football." Somebody shoot me. At least they skipped that dreadful intro song.

** And for all the pundits who got excited about professional football being played on a Tuesday for the first time since the 1940s, I have bad news: Professional football is played almost every Tuesday during the fall. It's just called "college football." There was already a bowl game scheduled for last Tuesday. Get over it.