2010 fantasy recap, week 13

The Cowboys can still make the playoffs if the following things happen:

** The Cowboys (4-8) win their remaining four games
** The Eagles (8-4) lose their remaining four games.
** The Green Bay Packers (8-4) are disbanded by a bankruptcy court before Christmas, or
** The Green Bay Packers are all sentenced to prison for crimes against humanity.

Then, at 8-8, the Cowboys would win the tiebreaker with the Eagles for the sixth and final playoff spot (because they’d lose a tiebreaker with the Packers).

Please note: There are no actual scenarios where the Cowboys can reach the playoffs. And that’s despite ways for the 3-9 Cardinals and 5-7 Vikings to still make the post-season.

Sucks to be Dallas.

QB: Tom Brady, 37.82 pts -- sitting on my bench
RB: LeSean McCoy, 30.13 pts -- started by me
WR: Reggie Wayne, 33.83 pts -- started by Ant
TE: Ben Watson, 22.67 pts -- sitting on NewMike's bench
K: Josh Brown, 16.00 pts -- sitting on the wire
DEF: New York Giants, 22.00 pts -- sitting on the wire
D: Sean Lee, 13.00 pts -- sitting on the wire

If you had started all of the top performers this week, you would have posted at least 176 pts. But you didn't. For shame.

"No-name QBs" edition
3rd Place: Matt Flynn, -0.20 pts -- sitting on the wire
2nd Place: Max Hall, -1.60 pts -- sitting on the wire
1st Place: Brett Favre, -2.00 pts -- sitting on Jeff's bench

The legendary Brett Farve not only had the worst day of his career on Sunday, he had the worst day of ANY QB EVER. Farve threw one pass, had it picked off and was knocked out of the game with an injury. He ended the day with a 0.0 rating. Let's briefly recap how the QB ratings work:

1 for 1, 15 yards, 1 TD = 158.3 (perfect rating)
1 for 1, 15 yards, 0 TD = 118.7
1 for 1, 1 yard, 0 TD = 79.1
0 for 1, 0 yards, 0 TD = 39.6
0 for 0, 0 yards, 1 INT = 0.0 (lowest possible rating)

When you had a worse day than Max Hall, you know you done poor.

This week Eagles K David Akers set a new franchise record for game played, appearing in his 184th contest (breaking the 183-games record held by S Brian Dawkins). Here’s a quick look at some of the other franchise records Akers holds:

** Career points scored: 897
** Season points scored: 144
** Consecutive playoff FGs: 19 (NFL record)
** Career tackles by a kicker: 19
** Career rushing yards by a kicker: 25
** Career completion percentage: 100
** Career FG made with a ruptured hamstring: 1
** Karate black belts, which means he could kick a LB’s ass: 1
** Detmers elevated to cult hero status: 1

Akers is currently the longest-tenured Philadelphia professional athlete – he made his debut with the Eagles two weeks before Phillies SS Jimmy Rollins appeared in his first game.

During overtime of the Cowboys/Colts game Sunday afternoon, Fox analyst Troy Aikman noted that the Dallas defense had surrendered leads in the final minute of regulation two weeks in a row. Play-by-play guy Joe Buck (whose head is shaped funny) responded by adding, "I think the poor play of the defense more than any other reason lead to the firing of Wade Phillips."

And that might be true. But Phillips was fired more than a month ago, well before those two defensive meltdowns. So it just seems a little unfair to blame him for lethargic defensive play calling when all he can do is yell at the TV like the rest of us.

In the last two games, Peyton Manning has thrown eight TD passes. Unfortunately for Indy fans, only half of them were to Colts receivers. The other four were to opposing defenses, as part of the 11 interceptions he's tossed during the team's three-game losing streak.

What's the reason for his sudden fall from grace? Here are the most likely possibilities:

** The Colts had 16 players injured this week, including most of their RBs.
** He hasn't thrown 20-plus INTs in nearly a decade, so he was due for some bad games.
** He's really, really sick of living in Indiana.
** Matt Millen said he was the best QB in the league, and everything that idiot says is wrong.
** He has actually been replaced with his brother, Eli.

The Eagles and Cowboys square off for the first time this season next Sunday, in a rivalry that's lost some of its luster because Dallas just stinks. But, do the Cowboys rookie players think it's just another game? Let's look closer at the name of t one of their newest offensive linemen to find out:

Dallas Cowboys new left guard Phil Costa
** No typo, clad fact: Eagles will bash us. Word.

Wait, hold on, I'm just receiving word that the Cowboys have shifted Costa from the guard spot over to center. Think that'll change his mind?

Dallas Cowboys new backup center Phil Costa
** Bow once: Philly scares us. We can't adapt, block.

I guess not.

Click on the image below to make it bigger.

Bobert is back on top, but who knows for how long?

I do. Two weeks. Then he drops back into second again.

** Dad and I split our picks again, and I remain plus two for the year. This season’s picks have been about as exciting as the actual NFL: completely random, and too focused on Brett Favre and the Manning brothers. Maybe one of us can stage some late-season excitement.

** Best of luck to former Phillies OF Jayson Werth, who signed a seven-year, $126 million deal with the Washington Natinals this weekend. I’m sure Donovan McNabb, Jeramiah Trotter, Mike Knuble and Eric Bruntlett can all tell you the DC area does wonderful things for your sports career.

** If anyone is looking for a job, I just heard about an exciting opportunity to work with Brian Dawkins out in Denver

** By the way, if you heard this story about an imposter Capt. Awesome, don't worry. He will face justice one day.