Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Tough choices

Since we’re faced with another bonanza of Philly sports tonight, here’s a handy guide to what you should be watching. Simply answer the easy questions below and total up your scoresheet to see which Philadelphia success story deserves air time on your nearest TV:

** Is it the NHL playoffs? (If yes, +1 Flyers)
** Is it the MLB playoffs? (Yes, +1 Phillies)
** Is Simon Gagne playing? (Yes, +1 Flyers)
** Is Simon Gagne hurt but playing? (Yes, +2 Flyers)
** Is Simon Gagne dead? (Yes, +1 Phillies)
** Is Roy Halladay pitching for the Phils? (Yes, +1 Phillies)
** Is Kyle Kendrick in goal for the Flyers? (Yes, +1 Phillies)
** Have the Phillies scored double-digits yet? (Yes, +1 Flyers)
** Have the Flyers chased the other goalie? (Yes, +1 Phillies)
** Are the Flyers down 3-0 in a game seven? (Yes, +2 Flyers)
** Are the Phillies lighting up Johan Santana? (Yes, +2 Phillies)
** Are the Flyers playing Pittsburgh? (Yes, +1 Flyers)
** Are the Phillies playing Pittsburgh? (Yes, +1 Flyers)
** Is Ryan Howard up to bat? (Yes, +1 Phillies)
** Are Chase Utley or Jimmy Rollins up to bat? (Yes, +1 Phillies)
** Is Ross Gload up to bat? (Yes, +1 Flyers)
** Are the Flyers on a power play? (Yes, +1 Flyers)
** Are the Phillies using binoculars? (Yes, +1 Phillies)
** Are you in attendance at the Phillies game? (Yes, +1 Flyers)
** Are you Charlie Manuel? (Yes, +1 Phillies)
** Are you Ed Snider? (Yes, +1 Flyers)
** Are you Andy Reid? (Yes, +1 passing plays)

Honestly, the real solution here is to get a dual-tuner DVR already…

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