Least essential Phils jerseys

Here's a quick look at actual Phillies jerseys up for sale on Ebay right now:

Ryan Madson 2008 World Series jersey (game used)
$7,999.99, plus $5 shipping
Sure, it's historic. But $8,000 could also get you season tickets for the next 30-plus years. Plus, this jersey tends to come apart at the seams in the ninth inning.

Kyle Drabek signed jersey
$119.99
Nothing shows off how much you love your team like wearing the shirt of the guy traded for somebody much better.

Francisco Rosario 2007 jersey (game used)
$195
I have no memory who this guy is. He was on the 07 playoff team? Are you sure?

President Obama XXL #44 jersey
$49.99
No. Just stop it. This could fit three or four Democratic presidents in it, and it's the worst kind of novelty jersey.

Phillies pet jersey
$4.99
Nevermind. That's the worst kind of novelty jersey.

Adam Eaton 2008 jersey (game-used)
$399
Somehow the Phils won a World Series this year despite shelling out $8 million for Eaton's four wins on the season. Maybe he wore this during one of them!

Eric Bruntlett 2007 St. Patrick’s day jersey (game used)
$149.99
The Phils don't play real games in March, and anything worn during a spring training game cannot be considered "game used."

Mitch Williams jersey
$39.99
No one should wear a choker jersey. Ever.

Jim Thome jersey
$48.62 plus $13.61 shipping
Why the weird price? The seller is up in Canada, and they still haven't received word that Thome left the team four years ago.

Greg Lewis jersey
$49.99
This actually shows up when you search "Phillies jerseys" on Ebay, proving once again that Greg Lewis ruins everything.