2009 fantasy recap, week #17

Bad Omen: The Eagles have only beaten the Cowboys outside of December once since 2005, and are 1-5 in those contests.
Good Omen: This will be the fourth time the Eagles and Cowboys have squared off three times in the same season. The Eagles have never gone 0-3 against their rivals.

Bad Omen: This is the 17th time the Cowboys have won the NFC East. Ten of the other 16 times, Dallas made it to the conference championship.
Good Omen: The Eagles are 4-1 in their last five Saturday playoff games. The Cowboys have lost their last three Saturday playoff games.

Bad Omen: The Eagles have only been shut out three times in the last 10 years, but time they lost their next game too.
Good Omen: The Cowboys haven’t won a playoff game in 13 years. The last two times they won the NFC East they were upset by a division opponent in the first round.

Bad Omen: In two games against Dallas this year, the Eagles have been outscored 44-16.
Good Omen: In their final game last year, the Eagles won 44-6.

Bad Omen: The Cowboys were 6-2 at home this year, and those two losses both came after late 4th-quarter field goals.
Good Omen: The five other times the Eagles entered the playoffs at 11-5, they’ve gone 4-1 in their first round games. And Andy Reid has never lost in the first round of the playoffs.

Top performers on the year, drafted
QB: Aaron Rodgers, 403.46 pts – Me, seventh QB drafted
RB: Chris Johnson, 377.63 pts – NewMike, eleventh RB drafted
WR: Andre Johnson, 264.60 pts – Ant, third WR drafted
TE: Dallas Clark, 236.83 pts – Ant, fourth TE drafted
K: Nate Kaeding, 159.00 pts – ChampMike, seventh K drafted
DEF: NY Jets, 221.00 pts – ChampMike, seventh DEF drafted
D: Jared Allen, 82.00 pts – Jo, thirteenth D drafted

An asterisk goes next to Jo’s defensive player, however – she cut him just a few weeks into the season. And who knew? Drew Brees? Peyton Manning? Brett Farve? Not as good as the Packers QB.

Top performers on the year, undrafted
QB: Alex Smith, 182.20 pts – Bob (22nd best QB)
RB: Carnell Williams, 168.70 pts – Heidi (26th best RB)
WR: Robert Meachem, 167.29 pts – Jeff (23rd best WR)
TE: Todd Heap, 128.73 – Jeff (13th best TE)
K: Jay Feeley, 137.00 pts – Jo (7th best K)
DEF: San Francisco, 213.00 pts –Jo (2nd best DEF)
D: Charles Woodson, 92.60 pts – Heidi (Top D player)

Lesson learned for next year – don’t bother picking up anything in the draft other than QBs, RBs, WRs and maybe a TE. Four of the top five D players were waiver wire picks, and the San Fran defense sat on the wire for half the year before Joanna scooped them up.

You could have made a fortune if you made these bets at the start of the season:

** Texans QB Matt Schaub would pass for the most yards of anyone in the league (4,770 yds).
** Eagles FB Leonard Weaver (323 yds) would outrush Eagles RB Brian Westbrook (274 yds).
** Giants WR Steve Smith (107 catches, 1,220 yds) would outgain Panthers WR Steve Smith (65 catches, 982 yds).
** Packers QB Aaron Rodgers would finish with as many rushing TDs (five) as Saints RB Reggie Bush.
** Vikings RB Adrian Peterson (1,383 yds) would miss the NFL rushing title … by more than 600 yards (Chris Johnson, 2,006 yds).

"Worst performers of the year" edition

5th Place: J.T. O'Sullivan, -1.20 pts – sitting on the wire
4th Place: Caleb Hanie, -1.56 pts – sitting on the wire
3rd Place: Jeff Garcia, -2.20 pts – sitting on the wire
2nd Place: Chris Simms, -3.48 pts – sitting on the wire
1st Place: Curtis Painter, -4.28 pts – sitting on the wire

The bottom five players are all backup QBs, but the bottom two got nearly a full four quarters of playing time (as opposed to Garcia, who appeared in two plays on the year and managed –2 rushing yards and a fumble). In the end, Painter’s final two games in relief of Colts QB Peyton Manning were absolutely dreadful – two INTs, two fumbles, no TDs – and enough to make him the worst fantasy player of the season. And Painter’s Colts are headed to the playoffs, so there’s still an chance he could sneak in another fumble before the offseason.

Here’s a quick look at some of the least exciting games of the season involving some of the least exciting teams in the league:

** Week 2: Maryland 9, St. Louis 7
These two teams combined for five wins on the year (and only one was the Rams’) but this early-season match-up should have been an indicator of things to come. Racial Slurs’ K Shaun Suisham kicked three FGs – the longest of which was 28 yards – to seal the victory.

** Week 5: Browns 6, Bills 3
In the lowest-scoring game of the year, Cleveland QB Derek Anderson passed for 23 total yards … and won. Bills WR Terrell Owens finished with one rush for six yards, and was still among the top rushers on either team for the day.

** Week 10: Chiefs 16, Raiders 10
Kansas City avenged its 13-10 Week 2 loss to Oakland with a game possibly more boring than the first contest. All but three of the 26 points scored in the game came before halftime.

** Week 11: Lions 38, Browns 37
This legitimately could have been one of the top games of the year if not for the teams involved. The Lions got their second win of the season (and finished with no more) after a 88-yard TD drive engineered by Detroit QB Matthew Stafford in the final minutes of the game. The teams combined for over 900 yards of offense.

** Week 15: Browns 41, Chiefs 34
Another high-scoring affair from the Browns, but this time they came away winners. Unknown RB Jerome Harrison broke Jim Taylor’s team rushing record with a 286-yard, 3 TD day. The Chiefs 491 yards of offense somehow weren’t enough to pull off a win.

It’s the final week of the season, and I can’t tell what’s stupid anymore because of the constant buzzing left in my ears by 17 weeks of less-than-insightful commentary. You tell me which of these was the most stupidest:

FOX commentator Troy Aikman, during Sunday’s Eagles game: “In the first meeting between these two teams the Cowboys only totaled 76 rushing yards. Now, we’re not even through the first half and they’ve gained more than that.”
The on-screen graphic has the Cowboys with 66 yards of rushing at that point. I double checked, and 66 is still not more than 76.

Oregon football coach Chip Kelly, right before the Rose Bowl: “Our guys should have butterflies before a game like this. Our job is just to make sure those butterflies fly in formation.”
Maybe not the dumbest thing I heard this week, but certainly the wimpiest.

Patriots QB Tom Brady, after learning that WR Wes Welker suffered a year-ending injury on Sunday: “Baltimore doesn’t really know what they’re going to see from us (next week in the playoffs). We’re going to have to shift focus, and they’re really not sure where that focus is going to go. In some ways, that’s an advantage for us.”
Just think of what an advantage it would be if New England lost all its superstars.

Westwood One commentator Scott Graham, before the Jets/Bengals game: “It’s windy and cold there, so weather is going to be the deciding factor in this game.”
The Bengals, who already had a playoff spot, benched most of their starters and were destroyed by the Jets 37-0. But I’m sure the wind was the biggest factor in them deciding not to try.

Looking ahead to next week’s playoff games, I noticed that despite several first- and second-year players taking over major roles for the Dallas squad the Eagles still have a younger average age (26.8 years) than the Cowboys do (26.9 years). Why is this significant? Just look at what that spells out for the big NFC East rematch:

Cowboys/Eagles playoffs rematch
-- Age flaws come, chaps lose by forty –

As I noted before, last year the Cowboys only lost by 38 in their final game of the season, so losing by 40 would be a surprise.

** My mistake last week – Dad dropped two in week 16, leaving him 17 behind and mathematically eliminated for the season. On the plus side, everything gets reset for our annual playoff match-up.

** In case you missed it on Sunday, the Flyers also lost badly (7-4) and the Sixers nearly blew a 16-point fourth quarter lead in their game against the Nuggets. But they held on, so I guess everything turned out happy for the day then…

** Playoff fantasy football, anyone? Every year I ask this, and every year I expect someone to come punch me in the face for suggesting it.

Check back tomorrow for the final season standings.