Phillies P Cliff Lee may be out of town just a few months after arriving (and just weeks after I got a T-shirt with his number), which might be the shortest stint ever for a Philadelphia athlete to arrive, become a hero and head out (just 17 starts, including the playoffs). Here’s a look at the other contenders in recent memory:** RB Vai Sikahema – The goalpost punching kick-returner only played for the Eagles for two seasons (1992-1993) and only scored one TD as an Eagle (that aforementioned goal post boxing match). But he managed to parlay his part-time 32-game career into much longer sports broadcasting job.
** C Dikembe Mutombo – Mutombo only played a season and a half as a member of the 76ers (106 regular season games) but collected defensive player of the year honors (the only Sixer ever to do so) and helped Allen Iverson’s crew into the NBA finals over the last half of the 2001 season.
** C Peter Forsberg – Well past the prime of his career but still hailed as a game-changing player, Forseberg signed with the Flyers in 2005 and scored 115 pts in two seasons (but only 100 regular season games thanks to injuries).
** QB Mike Vick – Just kidding. No one has ever loved Vick, which is why he had to turn to a life of crime.
** P Pedro Martinez – This could be premature, since Martinez could technically resign with the Phils. But this past season Martinez actually had fewer starts than Lee (11 total) but enjoyed a career resurgence, much to the delight of the fans.
** QB Jeff Garcia – Probably the best comparison on the list to Lee. In two stints with the Eagles Garcia has only appeared in 11 games and started just eight. But Garcia won six of those starts, leading the Eagles on an improbable 2006 playoff run that included a victory over the Giants in the first round.
QB: Eli Manning, 31.44 pts – started by JoelRB: Chris Johnson, 37.30 pts – started by NewMike
WR: Brandon Marshall, 46.33 pts – started by Bobert
TE: Dallas Clark, 26.37 pts – started by Ant
K: Rob Bironas, 19.00 pts – started by Paul
DEF: San Francisco, 28.00 pts – started by Jo
D: Brian Orakpo, 12.50 pts – sitting on the wire
Incidentally, whenever the local announcers say that visiting teams are afraid of “running at Orakpo,” I assume they’re referring to some sort of intestinal disease caused by DC water. Good week by him, though.
3rd Place: Alvin Pearman, -1.00 pts – sitting on the waiver wire2nd Place: St. Louis, -4.00 pts – sitting on the waiver wire
1st Place: Detroit, -4.00 pts – sitting on the waiver wire
Yeah, I know that technically it’s a tie, but the Lions get listed last this week because they lost to the Rams earlier this year (the Rams only win of the season). And that’s just terrible. The Rams are 6-39 over the last three seasons, which is even worse than the Lions 9-36 mark over that period. So that makes the Rams worse, which makes the Lions worse for losing to the Rams, who are worse. Got it?
Think you know the NFL? See if you can tell which of these QBs are still carrying the clipboard, and which have moved on to more respectable careers.Originally, I was going to make fun of CBS announcer Dan Dierdorf in this space -- On Sunday, during the Vikings/Bengals game, the Minnesota kicker booted the second-half kickoff out of bounds. Dierdorf was livid, yelling, “That’s just terrible! That’s the equivalent of a penalty!” He said these things as the refs threw a flag, and called an illegal kickoff penalty on the Vikings.
But I’m not going to.
Instead, I want to go back to this feature’s roots. On Monday I got to hear just a few minutes of the Joe Theismann radio show, and remembered that sometimes it’s not just about the stupidest single thing I heard this week. It’s the whole concept, the whole feeling of stupid that pervades the air when certain people talk.
Was it Theismann’s analysis that the Racial Slurs’ win over Oakland was proof that the Maryland team is still one of the most talented in the league? Was it his prediction that the Maryland team will win the NFC East in 2010? Was it his assertion that QB Jason Campbell’s 220-yard passing performance against the 28th-ranked pass defense in the league proves he’s an elite passer? Was it his belief that the Racial Slurs showed what a great defense they were by shutting down QB JaMarcus Russell, the 32nd-ranked QB in the league?
No, it was all of them. We are all dumber for having him on the air.
Sure, the Eagles are in first place now, but the NFC East race is still tightly contested. Dallas sits just one game behind with a regular-season finale against Philly, making the Cowboys a dangerous threat. Just look at how good the odds are that they’ll find a way to sneak into the postseason:Dallas Cowboys playoff chances this year
-- Bad call: Achy losers’ iffy act sways. No hope. --
Or maybe not.
Click on the standings to make them bigger.
A great week by Joanna vaults her into the top half of the standings for the first time since the start of the season, and drops ChampMike back into the lower tiers. The battle for second place has just three teams separated by 10 points. But NewMike has opened up a commanding 183 pts lead, meaning that all of us might be fighting for first loser.
** Dad won the week, picking up one in the standings (leaving him 14 behind for the year). But that one is critical, because now if he just averages five more wins a week than me for the rest of the season, he can escape with a slim season victory.** Here’s the deal – A Giants loss to the Maryland Racial Slurs and an Eagles win over the 49ers clinches a playoff berth for them for sure. This would be exciting news, because the Eagles are going to be crushed by the Broncos the following week.
** In case you're too lazy to look it up (or you have a life…) here are the quiz answers: Kitna plays for Dallas, Grossman plays for Houston, Troy Smith plays for Baltimore and Brunell is the backup QB on the Saints. Griese, Harrington, Dilfer and Ramsey are out of the league.
** Ten teams have been eliminated from the playoffs, but the 5-8 Seattle Seahawks still have a way to make the postseason. I sat here for 20 minutes trying to figure out whether the 4-9 Oakland Raiders can still make it in, but I’ve determined they cannot. I know you’re surprised.
** By the way, I got to do this last weekend. And Monday was even more fun...
1 comment:
Could Oakland make it if, in addition to all other improbabilities, a team decided to pull a Notre Dame and opt out of the postseason?
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