For your viewing pleasure

Scenarios where this Sunday's Giants/Cowboys playoff game could be watchable:

** Giants 6, Cowboys 3 (OT) -- Cowboys QB Tony Romo passes for a mere 67 yards and throws three picks as the Cowboys offense stalls. The Giants manage just two scoring plays, a 35-yard field goal in regulation thanks to a 47-yard pass interference penalty courtesy of S Roy Williams, and two personal foul penalties against the Cowboys D which sets up a game-winning 38-yard field goal. Predictably, Giants QB Eli Manning has just 54 yards passing and four picks.

** Giants 21, Cowboys 20 -- The Cowboys offense sputters all day, and has two fumbles returned for TDs by the Giants defense, but still has a chance to tie the game with a last-second 19-yard field goal. But the snap is bobbled by Cowboys kick holder Tony Romo, who tries to scamble for a TD but is tackled at the two-yard line. Predictably, Giants QB Eli Manning has just 54 yards passing and four picks.

** Giants 2, Cowboys 0 -- Both teams combine for under 100 yards of total offense, and the only score of the game comes on the opening kickoff when Cowboys return man WR Patrick Crayton catches the ball at the one-yard line but trips backwards into the end zone trying to avoid Giants' tacklers. Predictably, Giants QB Eli Manning has just 54 yards passing and four picks.

** Cowboys 49, Giants 42 -- The Giants set an NFL playoff record with 42 defensive points, 28 off of four QB Tony Romo interceptions returned for TDs and 14 from Romo fumbles returned for TDs. But the Cowboys make a remarkable comeback thanks to an NFL record seven -- yes seven! -- defensive touchdown returns off Giants QB Eli Manning interceptions. Celebrating the last-second win, Cowboys WR Terrell Owens breaks his ankle during a sideline dance.

** Giants 2, Cowboys 0 (forfeit) -- All of the Cowboys players oversleep the 3:30 p.m. kickoff, and the commissioner's office declares a forfeit.

    Predictably, Giants QB Eli Manning has just 54 yards passing and four picks.


That's the best I can come up with, kids. Make sure to have plenty of aspirin available.