Fantasy football 2025 -- week 12 recap

To pour salt on an open wound, the Eagles suffered multiple serious injuries in their loss to Dallas Sunday evening. Here’s a recap of some of the most worrisome ones:

** S Andrew Mukuba: Fractured ankle. It appears the rookie’s season will come to an early end.

** S Reed Blankenship: Thigh contusion. He’s questionable for this Friday’s game, putting the team’s depth in the secondary in doubt.

** CB Adoree' Jackson: Concussion. Coaches are still trying to decide if this injury hurts or improves the Eagles secondary situation.

** QB Jalen Hurts: Throat injury. It’s unclear exactly when the damage occurred, but Hurts could be seen on the field choking violently throughout the third and fourth quarters.

** WR AJ Brown: His feelings remain hurt.

** RB Saquon Barkley: Stomach bug. Or maybe he’s just getting sick of all this offensive nonsense, it’s hard to tell.

QB: Jameis Winston, 34.64 pts — on the wire
WR: Jaxon Smith-Njigba, 27.53 pts — started by Jo
RB: Jahmyr Gibbs, 48.40 pts — on Jeff’s bench
TE: Hunter Henry, 17.17 pts — started by Jeff
K: Andy Borregales, 18.00 pts — started by Mike
DEF: Green Bay, 21.00 pts — started by Bob
D: Myles Garrett, 12.00 pts — started by Jonathan

Over the last three weeks, Gibbs has scored 97.30 pts, more than any other player in fantasy football. Jeff has kept him on his bench all three weeks, which is why he’s in 10th place instead of 7th. Somehow, starting Hassan Haskins — the Chargers RB on injured reserve — has not proven to be a better strategy. But at least he got those big TE points.

Second week in a row that Garrett — a defensive player, remember — scored in double digits. He has 14 sacks in the last five games. Cincinnati has 15 sacks for the whole year.

Jalen Hurts (32.86 pts) outscored Dak Prescott (31.06 pts) in fantasy, so I’m sure that’s all that really matters.

 
“Names with a P” edition

3rd place: Myles Price, -0.32 pts — on the wire
2nd place: Xavier Gipson, -0.92 pts — on the wire
1st place: Tampa Bay, -2.00 pts — on Jo’s bench

Only one defense ended up in the red this week, and nobody started them. I think we’ve all finally turned a corner…

Gipson, the Eagles punt returner, whose name is not Gibson, remember it has a P in it because he’s a punt returner, fumbled in the fourth quarter to give Dallas a TD and the Eagles their first loss of the month. So, I dunno, maybe just forget him.


** Eagles coach Nick Sirianni summed up the Dallas loss on Sunday with this profound statement: "At the end of the day, we weren't good enough."

No, Nick. From dinnertime through the whole second half, you weren’t good enough. The problem was your offense thought the end of the day started at 6 p.m., right around halftime. Maybe score some second-half points.

** During the third quarter of Ohio State’s game on Saturday, just after the Buckeyes scored a touchdown, Buckeyes Radio sideline reporter Tyler Danburg gave this report:

“Coach Ryan Day just had a meeting with three different referees after that play. He was hot, and he gave it to them. It’s not clear what he was upset about. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

The broadcast team never did discover what the issue was. You know what could have helped clear up the mystery? If the crew had a dedicated employee who could give an on-the-ground synopsis of what’s happening during the game. You know, like giving a live report right from the sideline. 

Not sure what we’d call that person, but it could be an incredibly useful job.

There are NFL players who celebrate Thanksgiving, and then there are the players who were named to elevate the holiday to another level:

** Colts CB Sauce Gardner: Gotta have something to put on top of the meal.
** Bears DE Montez Sweat: M. Sweat is pretty much the same as “Meat Sweats.”
** Lions CB Kendall Fuller: That’s not too full of food, just more full.
** DE Tyrus Wheat: All dinner rolls are good dinner rolls.
** 49ers CB Eli Apple: I can just tell he was teased as “Eli Apple Pie” throughout grade school.
** Chiefs WR Jimmy Holiday: Ironically, he was cut from the team on Monday and will be … off for the holiday.
** Raiders OC Chip Kelly: He got fired this week, so belongs on this list because he’s a dead duck.


The Cowboys won’t be eating dinner with their families this Thursday, because they have a game scheduled every Thanksgiving (because they stole the Lions 30-year-old tradition starting in 1966). But the team still takes time each year to observe the celebration, with a moment of reflection in the locker room before kickoff. And what do the players think about? It’s pretty obvious, if you just rearrange a few letters in the holiday phrase:

 
Cowboys players give thanks
** A gawky snort: Psychos be evil

It’s one thing to be evil. It’s a whole extra level to be thankful for being evil, and to laugh about it. But what else would you expect from these guys?


** Picked up two games on Dad this weekend, thanks to the Chiefs overtime win against the Colts. That puts me up eight for the season, with only six weeks of regular season football left. I’m still picking winners at a 70 percent clip, even if I can’t get any Dolphins games right.

** With their overtime loss to the Lions on Sunday, the 2-10 New Jersey Giants were the first team eliminated from playoff contention. Somehow, the 1-10 Tennessee Titans still have a path, but even I don’t have time to figure that out. But it would involve a wild card spot.

** Credit to G: The Eagles are asking fans to wear all black for the Black Friday game this week. Or because they’re expecting a wake for this lifeless offense. Either way, it’s a dark day ahead.


Week 12 standings

Family Cup standings
House Doyle: 24-12
House Garrity: 20-16
House Quinn: 15-21
House Shane: 12-22-2

Family Cup alternate standings
House Shane: 4,348.50 total pts
House Doyle: 4,215.98 total pts
House Garrity: 3,799.40 total pts
House Quinn: 3,687.10 total pts

Look at that ridiculousness again. House Shane has three of the top six scoring teams, so naturally we also have two of the three worst records in the league. Jonathan — the highest scorer in the league by 150 pts — is in fourth place, barely hanging onto a playoff berth. Meanwhile, Lexi’s team (1,374.62 pts) is 9-3 and in first place, even though they have scored three fewer points than Emma’s team (1,377.18 pts) which is 1-10-1 and cannot catch a single break.

With the playoffs just two weeks away, Lexi, Mike and Shelly have all but wrapped up playoff berths, while Jonathan, Ollie, Jim and Grandmom Shane are fighting for three available spots. Shane and Jimmy may technically still be alive, but there’s too much math for me to figure that out.

Awesome Cup standings
1 — Still The Best (Jonathan), 1,528.84 pts
2 — One Plus One is Three SBs (Pop), 1,495.03 pts
3 — Saquontum Leap (Capt. Awesome), 1,449.34 pts
4 — Goederts and Monsterts (Bob), 1,439.80 pts
5 — City Hands (Mike), 1,402.19 pts
6 — Schwarbombs (Jo), 1,267.42 pts
7 — Vert der Ferks (Ant), 1,256.51 pts
8 — The Fightin Pickles (Sam), 1,184.45 pts
9 — DeVonta’s Inferno (Mom D), 1,176.08 pts
10 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 1,150.96 pts
11 — The B Sharps (Paul), 1,042.51 pts
12 — All Rogers No Sauce (Joel), 960.21 pts

The champ is starting to pull away again. Jonathan scored 142.62 pts this week — second only to Bob’s 145.36 — and widened his nine-point lead from last week to a 33-point lead this week. Dad is trying to keep pace while Bob is charging up, while my team had a dreadful 86.49 pts performance and is sliding backwards quickly. Jo and Ant remain mired in the middle of the pack, and then comes the cliff.

Lots of roster challenges this week — check your teams before noon on Thursday, and then again before the Eagles game on Friday, and then again Sunday morning, and then maybe there’s a Tuesday game next week? Just check every few hours. The NFL doesn’t think you pay enough attention to them anyway.

Fantasy football 2025 -- week 11 recap

** The Lions went 0 for 5 on fourth down conversion attempts on Sunday night, the second-worst mark by any team in the last 25 years. The only other team to do worse? That would be the Lions, in 2022.

** The Eagles are the third-best team in the league at stopping fourth downs, with an opponent success rate of just 33% (6 of 18). But most of the conversions have come on the road. In Philly, teams have only had a successful 4th down one time in 8 tries, a success 12.5% rate.

** Sunday was also the Eagles fourth win in a row, and their second four-game winning streak of the season. Over the last four, they have averaged just 14.5 points surrendered on defense.

** The Birds’ own #4? That would be longtime K Jake Elliott, who is 6 for 7 on field goals and 14 for 14 on extra points at home this season. Not bad so far.

** The Eagles have won their last four games played on the 4th of the month, dating all the way back to the Super Bowl win in 2018. Their next game on the 4th? That would be the season finale, against Washington on Jan. 4.

QB: Josh Allen, 48.68 pts — started by Ant
WR: Tetairoa McMillan, 24.67 pts — started by Jonathan
RB: Sean Tucker, 31.87 pts — on Bob’s bench
TE: George Kittle, 19.47 pts — started by Mike
K: Will Lutz, 18.00 pts — started by Mike
DEF: Pittsburgh, 22.00 pts — stated by Joel
D: Myles Garrett, 10.50 pts — started by Jonathan

Aaaaaaaah, so close to getting all of the top performers started. And a tough break for Bob leaving Tucker on the bench, but he did have the #2 RB on the week in his lineup (Christian McCaffrey, 31.27 pts).

One week after RB Jonathan Taylor set the new high for fantasy points by a single player in a single week this season, Bills QB Josh Allen pushes the mark just a little higher. His six-TD performance (three rushing, three passing) could have been even better if not for a pair of interceptions. But sometimes to put up big numbers, you have to risk a few interceptions. Do you hear that, Jalen Hurts?

Garrett, who had five tackles and four sacks on Sunday, has 28.50 fantasy points in his last three games alone. That’s better than all but 50 players total for the season so far. Also, Cleveland has lost all three of those games.

“Names you know” edition

3rd place: Teddy Bridgewater, -0.10 pts — on the wire
2nd place: Mac Jones, -0.30 pts — started by Paul
1st place: Mecole Hardman, -0.78 pts — on the wire

Hardman — who caught the game-winning TD for the Chiefs in the Super Bowl just two seasons ago — has managed only 12 catches in the NFL since then. He signed with the Bills last week and managed a fumble on his only punt return of the day to end up in the red for fantasy points.

Jones, the backup 49ers QB, took three kneel downs to end San Francisco’s win. And I would have bet you $100 that Teddy Bridgewater retired five years ago. He is, in fact, playing for Tampa Bay now. The last time I mentioned him in this blog was 2021 … as part of the three worst QBs of the week.

Ravens WR LaJohntay Wester was actually the worst position player of the week (-0.84 pts), but you don’t know him, so that didn’t really work with the subhead. So pretend like I never mentioned him.


** Frustrated Cleveland Browns fans started a “We Want Shedeur” chant in the first half of the team’s game against the Ravens on Sunday. And after starter Dillon Gabriel was injured, they got their wish: QB Shedeur Sanders made his debut in the second half, with the team leading 16-10.

And how did the overhyped rookie do? The team gained 44 yards on 26 plays in the second half and lost 23-16. And Sanders went 4 for 16 for 47 yds with 1 interception, a QB rating of 13.5. For comparison, your QB rating on Sunday (zero completions for zero yds with no turnovers) was 39.58 — almost three times better.

No sure I’d chant to see a QB who is one-third as good at his job than me, but you be you, Cleveland.

** Adidas has a commercial they’ve been running for two months now where QB Trevor Lawrence and WR/DB Travis Hunter hang out, dance to some 80s music and walk onto the field together with the tag line “We all need someone to make us believe.” They played it several times on Sunday … even though Hunter is out for the year with a leg injury and Lawrence is the 27th rated passer in the league.

I wonder if they know the commercial feels like a desperate plea for help now.

** ESPN Chris Berman hosts the “fastest minute of football” each week on Monday night, where he recaps the biggest stories from the league. This week, that 60-second montage included 20 seconds of … the Canadian Football Championship. Sure, that was more important than the Rams/Seahawks game. 

The Saskatchewan Roughriders won, by the way. They came back from a 7-1 deficit at the end of the first quarter. Nope, not a typo. Canadian football is not real football. 

Cardinals QB Jacoby Brissett connected on 47 of 57 pass attempts in his team’s blowout loss to the 49ers on Sunday, setting a new NFL record for the most completions in a game. Brissett is a 10-year journeyman quarterback with modest stats, making him an unlikely title holder for a passing significant mark. Here are some other names of daily random players who have carved out places in the league’s record book:

** Rushing attempts in a game: RB Jamie Morris, 45
— Morris played for three years in the NFL, totaling only 777 rushing yds across 33 games. But in a 1988 loss to the Bengals, he handled the ball on 45 of Washington’s 69 plays, rushing for 152 yards. His longest carry only went for 12 yds.

** Receiving yards in a game: WR Flipper Anderson, 336
— A year after Morris’ record, Anderson had 15 catches for 336 yds and one TD in a Rams victory over the Saints. Anderson was a solid player — he had two 1,000+ yds seasons in 10 years in the league — but never made a Pro Bowl.

** Touchdown passes in a game: QB Joe Kapp, 7
— Eight players have done this (Including the immortal Nick Foles), but Kapp may be the most random. He played five non-consecutive years in the NFL and seven in the Canadian Football league, but put on a masterpiece of passing in 1969 in a Minnesota Vikings win over the Baltimore Colts. He only had 12 more TD passes in the other 12 games he played that year.

** Tackles in a game: LB David Harris, 20
— The Jets linebacker had an 11-year NFL career and was named second-team all Pro in 2009. But two years earlier, as a rookie, he dropped Washington players 20 times in a 23-20 overtime loss. Harris had five times as many tackles that day as his team had wins for the season — they finished 4-12.


The Cowboys spent a late-round draft pick to snag linebacker Logan Wilson from the Bengals earlier this month. Beat reporters wrote that the reason behind the acquisition was an attempt to shore up the interior defense of the team. But, in reality, the opportunity to add him to the roster for his cultural contributions was too great to pass up. Just look at what the letters in his name rearranged say about him:

LB Logan Wilson
** No balling, slow
** Lo, signal blown
** Gonna blow ills
** An oblong swill
** Wins? No. All glob

Go ahead, look up a picture of him. The first thing I thought when I saw his funny-shaped head was “what an oblong swill that guy is.”

** Went 1-2 against Dad this week, thanks to the Commanders somehow blowing that game in Spain early Sunday morning. That puts Dad down six in our picks for the season. I knew I shouldn’t have gone for two.

** The Bears are in first place in their division. Pretty sure that’s one of the signs of the apocalypse.

** Stolen from social media — Since Oct. 13, the Washington Commanders and Washington Wizards have played 19 games and have a 1-18 record. The Washington Natinals haven’t won during that stretch either...


Week 11 standings

Family Cup standings

House Doyle: 23-10
House Garrity: 19-14
House Quinn: 12-21
House Shane: 11-20-2

With three weeks left in the regular season, Mike, Lexi and Shelly have all but wrapped up their playoff spots. Jonathan — the highest scorer in the league by far — would just barely sneak in as the fifth seed right now, behind Ollie. And despite a 6-5 record tied for 6th place, Grandmom would be out, on account of her low point total.

Pop and Shane still technically have a shot at the postseason, but it would take a Minnesota miracle to happen. Tommy’s team and Emma’s cursed squad will be playing in the consolation round in a few weeks.

Awesome Cup standings

1 — Still The Best (Jonathan), 1,386.22 pts
2 — Saquontum Leap (Capt. Awesome), 1,362.85 pts
3 — One Plus One is Three SBs (Pop), 1,359.83 pts
4 — Goederts and Monsterts (Bob), 1,294.44 pts
5 — City Hands (Mike), 1,278.56 pts
6 — Schwarbombs (Jo), 1,162.03 pts
7 — Vert der Ferks (Ant) 1,158.62 pts
8 — The Fightin Pickles (Sam), 1,093.44 pts
9 — DeVonta’s Inferno (Mom D), 1,087.66 pts
10 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 1,047.20 pts
11 — The B Sharps (Paul), 972.86 pts
12 — All Rogers No Sauce (Joel), 881.55 pts

I managed to leapfrog Pop but lost ground on Jonathan, even though his best player (RB Jonathan Taylor) was on a bye this week. Bob and Mike are still just barely hanging on to the podium stand, while Joanna and Ant are shouting distance away.

Mom D asked if her team’s 57.70 pts performance this week was the worst ever in league history. Bad news, it’s not even bottom five this season. Sam had the worst luck of the year in week 9, when he started three players who scored a combined 0.10 pts and left two others starting despite their byes. The worst ever score in the league came from Joey Awesome, who started all Cowboys reserves for the entire season. It’s like he wasn’t even trying.

Speaking of the Cowboys, it’s Dallas week again. The Eagles play in Dallas at 4:25 p.m., opposite the Browns/Raiders, Jaguars/Cardinals and Falcons/Saints contests. If it’s not the national game, someone should be put in jail.

Bills play on Thursday, and four teams have a bye. Get your rosters set early.

Fantasy football 2025 -- week 10 recap

Ahead of the Eagles showdown with the Green Bay this week, news organizations reported this week that the Cowboys trade of DE Micah Parsons to the Packers this summer came with an unusual clause: Green Bay would have to pay a penalty of another first-round draft pick if they trade Parsons to the Eagles in the next two years. 

The “poison pill” provision drew snickers from Philly fans who saw it as confirmation that most Dallas players would eventually rather play for a good Philadelphia team than their current sub-par squad. But few sports writers dug into the other provisions that Dallas tried to include in the contract that were ultimately determined to be unfeasible by the NFL. Here are a few:

— Parsons would have been barred from playing against the Eagles in Monday night’s game, for fear he may defect at halftime.

 
— Parsons would be required to remove the P from his last name, because of potential associations with Philly.

— Green Bay would have to change its uniform colors, so Parsons could not end up wearing any green.

— Philadelphia would have to include a draft pick in the trade between Dallas and Green Bay, just because.

— Green Bay would be required to lose most of its games with Parsons on the roster, copying what Dallas did.

QB: Matthew Stafford, 34.90 pts — started by Pop
WR: Drake London, 17.93 pts — started by Jo
RB: Jonathan Taylor, 47.20 pts — started by Jonathan
TE: Trey McBride, 18.97 pts — on Jeff’s bench
K: Jason Myers, 15.00 pts — on the wire
DEF: Seattle, 21.00 pts — started by Pop
D: DeMarcus Lawrence, 17.50 pts — on the wire

Taylor rushed for 244 yds and three TDs (and had 42 more yds receiving) in the Colts overtime win against the Falcons on Sunday. The 47.20 pts are the highest score of any player so far this year, including QBs.

Except for one inexplicable game against the Steelers last week where he scored just 6.30 fantasy pts, Taylor hasn’t scored fewer than 21 in a game since September. For the season, Taylor has totaled 250.73 fantasy pts. For comparison, five RBs scored more than that total in all of 2024. No QBs are at that mark yet this year.

He already has 15 rushing TDs (Barkley, the leader last year, had 16 on the season) and is 219 yds ahead of the next closest RB in the race for the rushing title. In short, you really should have drafted him in the first round.

Shout out to Seattle LB DeMarcus Lawrence, who scored two defensive TDs against the Cardinals. If he were a wideout, he would have been second in scoring for that position for the week. Good Sunday for him, lousy day for pass catchers. 

“Grab bag” edition

3rd place: Ke'Shawn Williams, -1.32 pts — on the wire
2nd place: Washington, -4.00 pts — on the wire
1st place: San Francisco, -5.00 pts — on the wire

Second week in a row the mighty Commies defense has been worth -4.00 pts. Since the start of their five-game losing streak, they have surrendered an average of almost 36 pts a game, and their defense has been worth a total of 2.00 fantasy pts. Over the same stretch, Seattle has scored 53.00 fantasy pts, and they had a bye week in there.

Meanwhile, Panthers QB Bryce Young just barely got on the positive side of the ledger, scoring 1.56 fantasy pts thanks to 124 yds passing and an interception in his team’s loss to the Saints. It’s the second straight week that Young has failed to score at least 3.00 fantasy pts. And yet, somehow they beat the Packers in one of those games.


** Don’t get me wrong — I think New Jersey Giants head coach Brian Daboll was terrible at his job.
But I’ve got to think that maybe the front office — who let their Pro Bowl RB walk away, then cut their first-round QB and watched him play at a Pro-Bowl level in Indianapolis this year — deserves some of the blame too. But, hey, if management wants to keep GM Joe Schoen, far be it from me to stop them.

** After a major betting scandal where illegal bets on individual pitches led to the indictment of two players, MLB responded quickly and firmly this week by … announcing they have asked sportsbooks to reduce the amount of money you can bet on individual pitches. Not ban it. Just make it less profitable for illegal gambling purposes.
If the Black Sox scandal happened today, they’d probably issue a sternly worded warning to all teams as a response.

** Ahead of the Eagles game, ESPN showed a commercial where a guy asks Chat GPT for a recipe “that says I love you but plays it cool” and if we’re encouraging people to ask AI for romantic advice now it’s really just time to pack it all up and fade away.

The Eagles so far this year have called 11 run plays on third and 11+ yards to go, a move dubbed “the coward’s draw” by Philly scribes. Since the Eagles offensive coordinator seems to be having trouble understanding down and distance in the NFL, here’s a quick guide to when it's a good idea to run on third and long:

** When your team is up by 24 in the late fourth quarter.
** When your QB went down with a serious injury on second down.
** When your RB is Saquon Barkley (note — this only applies to the 2024 model, not other years).
** When the opposing defense has left the field in protest.
** When you don’t have an all-pro QB and two all-pro wideouts and an all-pro TE and the league doesn’t call pass interference on every third play.
** When you want to lose.

Also, try not to go for it on fourth-and-long in obvious punting situations.

The Cowboys front office gave up a bevy of picks and players last week to land Jets DT Quinnen Williams to help with their defensive woes. At first glance, the move seems to make sense, given how terrible that side of the ball has been this year. But Jets players haven’t been the source of much success in recent years. And when you look at what the letters in the new guy’s name spell out, it doesn’t look like that will change anytime soon.

Dallas Cowboys DT Quinnen Williams
** Lad wins? No. Bad money, class. Will quit.

Williams had zero QB sacks and zero QB pressures this week. Sure, the Cowboys were on a bye week, but it’s still a less-than-impressive start.

** Went 2-0 against Dad this week thanks to the furious Texans comeback over the Jaguars. That puts me up a traditional TD (7) in our picks for the year. He’s got to pick up more than one a week for the rest of the season to pull out a victory.

** There’s still a path for the Titans to get that #1 overall seed.

** The Eagles Monday night game was bad, but it still wasn’t as bad as that clunker between the Broncos and Raiders on Thursday.

** There’s a world where the Eagles win their next three, Dallas loses two of their next three and Philadelphia wins the NFC East before Dec. 1. It’s ridiculous, but honestly not all that ridiculous.

Week 10 standings

Family Cup standings

House Doyle: 20-10
House Garrity: 16-14
House Quinn: 12-18
House Shane: 11-17-2

Another big week from Jonathan’s squad — He has scored 150+ points three of the last four weeks, but has only gone 2-1-1 over that stretch. He got the win this week, taking down Mike #1 ranked team. That gives us a tight race for the playoffs, with the gap between first and seventh (first team out) at just two games with four weeks left in the fantasy regular season.

If they playoffs were to start now, all three Doyle squads would be in there, along with Jonathan, Crazy Grandmom Malice and Shelly. Jimmy still has a chance of crashing the party, while Jimmy, Pop Shane and Shane still have a chance to jump up there. For the Emma/me team and Tommy’s squad, well, there’s always next year.

Awesome Cup standings

1 — Still The Best (Jonathan), 1267.88 pts
2 — One Plus One is Three SBs (Pop), 1259.00 pts
3 — Saquontum Leap (Capt. Awesome), 1251.80 pts
4 — Goederts and Monsterts (Bob), 1180.69 pts
5 — City Hands (Mike), 1154.86 pts
6 — Schwarbombs (Jo), 1055.02 pts
7 — Vert der Ferks (Ant), 1032.41 pts
8 — DeVonta’s Inferno (Mom D), 1029.96 pts
9 — The Fightin Pickles (Sam), 1020.97 pts
10 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 960.61 pts
11 — The B Sharps (Paul), 904.62 pts
12 — All Rogers No Sauce (Joel), 752.03 pts

We all knew this was coming. After another mediocre week for my team and great performances from Pop (159.87 pts) and Jonathan (149.09 pts), I slipped back to third and the reigning Awesome Cup champ returned to the top spot. I’ve thought about sabotaging Jonathan’s team, since I have all his login info, but I’ve resisted since that would mostly benefit Pop and not me. We’ll see if I change my mind.

Jeff failed to break 60 fantasy pts this week thanks to starting four inactive players (plus one active one who scored zero points). Joel only started three inactive guys, but he also deployed Bryce Young, so he also failed to reach 60. Jonathan scored 60.9 fantasy points with Jonathan Taylor and Ashton Jeanty alone.

Thankfully, Taylor is on a bye next week, so maybe Jonathan will get cut down to size a bit. Saints are off too. Jets and Patriots play Thursday, Commanders and Dolphins play early on Sunday, Eagles play late on Sunday, Cowboys play Monday for the second time in a row. Get those rosters set early and often.

Fantasy football 2025 -- week 9 recap

After a restful bye week, here are a few modest predictions for how the Eagles’ second half will unfold:

** RB Saquon improved from 44 yds rushing two games ago against the Vikings to 150 yds rushing last game against the Giants. So a 106-yard improvement from each week here on out seems reasonable. That would mean 256 rushing yds against the Packers, 362 against the Lions, 468 against the Cowboys, and so on. That means he should end up with 5,535 yards on the ground by the end of the season, assuming he sits out game #17 again.

** DE Brandon Graham returns to the team just nine sacks behind DE Trent Cole for second on the Eagles all-time leader list. Given that there are only nine games left in the season, it will be difficult for Graham to get enough to move up. But with some fresh legs and luck, I’m predicting Graham gets just enough (48) to pass DE Reggie White for the franchise record. That’s just 5.5 a game, with a lighter load in game #17, obviously.

** QB Jalen Hurts has 60 rushing TDs for his career, third all time among passers in the regular season. Thanks to the tush push, Hurts has a chance to break that, before Thanksgiving. That would be five rushing TDs in each of the next three games, with a sixth in the contest against the Cowboys on Nov. 23. That seems extreme until you realize that Barkley will be getting tackled at the one-yard line between seven and 10 times a game in those matchups. Lots of opportunity.

** Given all of that firepower, there’s no reason to think that the Eagles will finish the season any worse than 15-1. True, they are 6-2 already, but after bulldozing teams in the second half, the NFL will be forced to reassess that first game against the Giants, and will opt to overturn the extra blemish on the schedule.

** Finally, despite all of their hard work and success, despite all the good feelings and All-Star play, and despite the opportunity for continued greatness, Philly fans will be disappointed in the playoffs as the Sixers will bomb out in the first round.

QB: Caleb Williams, 42.97 pts — on the wire
WR: Drake London, 30.37 pts — started by Jo
RB: Christian McCaffrey, 29.57 pts — started by Bob
TE: Brock Bowers, 33.07 pts — started by Joel
K: Ka'imi Fairbairn, 18.00 pts — started by Jonathan
DEF: Tennessee, 20.00 pts — on the wire
D: Cody Barton, 9.50 pts — on the wire

Caleb Williams has eight starts this year. Three times he has scored more than 25 fantasy points, including this week’s nearly 43 pts tally, the second highest individual score of the year. Three times he has scored fewer than 14 fantasy pts, including 16.48 in the last two weeks combined. So spare a thought to Jo, who two weeks ago had Bo Nix on her bench for a 43.96 pts performance, and cut Williams just before kickoff on Sunday. I agreed with both moves, because fantasy is cruel and dumb.

Nine QBs scored more than 30 fantasy pts this week, with both Jalen Hurts and Baker Mayfield on byes. Maybe football isn’t hard anymore?

Speaking of good offenses, Tennessee’s defense had fantasy 18 points in the previous seven weeks combined, so naturally they went for 20 on Sunday against a really good Chargers offense. That’s because fantasy is cruel and dumb.


“Players I have never heard of” edition

3rd place: Adrian Martinez, -0.10 pts — on the wire
2nd place: Tahj Washington, -0.77 pts — on the wire
1st place: Roman Wilson, -1.23 pts — on the wire

Honestly, you could convince me pretty easily that all of those names were just computer-generated characters.

Panthers QB Bryce Young scored a whopping 2.98 fantasy pts on 102 yds passing and one INT Sunday … and still scored a win against the heavily-favored Packers. Bengals QB Joe Flacco scored 38.70 fantasy pts on 470 yds passing, two picks and four TDs … and lost. So apparently Flacco being 13 times better than Young wasn’t enough for the Bengals to win. Tough to be a Cincinnati fan right now.


** Headline in the Washington Post this week: “These QBs, pass rushers and others may or may not be traded this year.”

Really honing in on the news there. I do have an alternate headline suggestion: “Someone in the NFL will go somewhere sometime maybe.” Feels like that really gets at the heart of what they were trying to say.

** Great graphic by Fox during Game 7 of the World series showing the pain of Canadian sports fans. It was titled “Canada Dry” and showed no Canadian baseball team had won it all since 1993, no Canadian hockey team has won it all since 1993, and no Canadian basketball team has won it all since … the Toronto Raptors in 2019.

That’s the kind of long-term suffering that Boston fans talk about all the time.

** Before we get through another week of college football, we have to talk about the Buckeyes first-string running back: freshman Lamar Jackson.

Obviously, his parents didn’t know their son would be a football star, or that there would be another, more famous Lamar Jackson right as he got on the cusp of the pros. But he’s there now, so naturally he has decided to go by a nickname to limit confusion. Smart move.

He now goes by Bo instead.

That’s right. To avoid confusion with a famous NFL star, the kid decided to change his name … to the same one as a different, famous NFL star. Really outsmarted us all on that one. Solid work.

It’s not over until it’s all over. The Titans currently have a 1-8 record, tied for the worst in all of football. And yet, consider if the season plays out this way over the next nine weeks...

** Tennessee wins its final eight games and finishes 9-8.
** Jacksonville and Indianapolis both finish 8-7-2, with a tie against each other.
** Houston finishes 7-8-2, with ties against the Jags and Colts.
** New England and Buffalo both finish 8-8-1.
** Cincinnati wins five of its last eight to finish 8-9. Baltimore does the same.
** Pittsburgh loses seven of its last nine, to finish 7-10.
** San Diego and Denver finish 8-8-1.
** Kansas City ties four of its last eight and loses three more, finishing 6-7-4.

That makes the Bengals the AFC North winners, the Patriots the AFC East winners and the Chargers the AFC West winners. But, with a 9-8 record and the only winning record in the AFC, the Titans would be the #1 overall seed in the playoffs and get a first-round bye.

For real, though, you can figure it all out for yourself here. Dream big, folks. I’m looking forward to late January football in Nashville.

   In a bizarre quirk of scheduling, the Cowboys played on Monday night this week and will play their next game (after a bye) on Monday night as well. Some may question why a middle-of-the-pack team like the Cowboys deserves such a prominent spot, but other NFL experts … would probably agree with that. Besides, it’s pretty clear from the TV guide description that the schedulers know how dumb the move is. Just look at what those letters rearranged clearly spell out:

Dallas Cowboys starring on ESPN’s Monday Night Football
** Why? Bland slobs not good. Constant gas pain, misery for all

I bet you thought that indigestion was because of the chips you were eating. No! The Cowboys actually cause gastric distress. It’s a medical fact.

** Same as last week — split my picks with Dad, so I remain up five on him for the season. It feels like he’s laying in wait, looking for the right moment to strike.

** The Bengals lost 47-42 to the Bears this week and 39-38 to the Jets last week. They’re the first team to score 38+ points in consecutive weeks and lose since the 1966 Jets. And they’re the first team to lose two games in a season after scoring 38+ points since … the 2024 Bengals. Way to fix that defensive problem, guys.

** I’m always excited when the Cowboys trade for a player because it’s a new name for the anagram machine. Also, because they’re dumb and don’t know how to handle draft picks in trades.


Week 9 standings

Family Cup standings

House Doyle: 18-9
House Garrity: 14-13
House Quinn: 11-16
House Shane: 10-15-2

Big wins for Shelly and Mike keep them in first place. Jonathan, who is the top scorer in the league by a wide margin, is sitting down in fourth and in danger of missing the playoffs. And the league’s second highest-scoring team? That’s the team run by Emma and me, in dead last. Congrats to Shane for playing us this week and scoring his highest point total of the year, and the highest point total of the week. And congrats to Jimmy, who plays us next week, for inevitably scoring 140+ pts then.

Awesome Cup standings

1 — Saquontum Leap (Capt. Awesome), 1,140.22 pts
2 — Still The Best (Jonathan), 1,118.79 pts
3 — One Plus One is Three SBs (Pop), 1,099.13 pts
4 — Goederts and Monsterts (Bob), 1,075.98 pts
5 — City Hands (Mike), 1,041.32 pts
6 — Schwarbombs (Jo), 942.97 pts
7 — Vert der Ferks (Ant), 936.80 pts
8 — The Fightin Pickles (Sam), 934.55 pts
9 — DeVonta’s Inferno (Mom D), 917.04 pts
10 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 903.48 pts
11 — The B Sharps (Paul), 830.86 pts
12 — All Rogers No Sauce (Joel), 694.23 pts

Jonathan picked up 0.32 pts on me this week, but the big moves were Dad and Bob both closing the gaps on the top two spots. Dad scored 155.41 pts, and Bob got 150.30 pts, both impressive leaps.

Mike rounds out the top tier of teams, but Jo is doing her best to climb into the upper echelon despite some terrible fantasy luck. Jeff has successfully made it into tier two, and could jump into sixth next week with a little luck. And it’s better not to discuss what’s happening behind him in the standings.

The NFL trade deadline passed this week, which means the league can send teams overseas again without worrying players will be stolen by European soccer squads, I guess. Broncos and Raiders on Thursday, Falcons and Colts early on Sunday in Berlin, and Eagles vs. Packers on Monday night. Adjust those rosters early.