Fantasy Football 2024 -- week 10 recap

Week 10 will go down in the 2024 NFL record as the week that teams finally broke football. Here’s a quick recap of things that defied logic but actually happened:

** The Lions threw five interceptions. They won anyway.
Houston threw two picks of its own and missed a late 4th-quarter FG attempt, giving the Lions an opportunity to win the game on a final-play kick. Detroit trailed 23-7 at the half but won 26-23.

 
** The Falcons had a 300-yd passer and a 100-yd rusher. They lost anyway.
Despite racking up 468 offensive yds, Atlanta missed three FGs and turned the ball over twice. That let the Saints escape with a 20-17 upset.

** The Vikings had three turnovers and failed to score a touchdown. They won anyway.
Amazingly, the 12-7 win over the Jaguars was the second time since 2006 that a team hasn’t gotten a TD and was -3 in turnovers in a victory.

** The Bengals had 264 receiving yds and three TDs from WR Ja’Marr Chase. They lost anyway.
QB Joe Burrow threw four TDs in the Thursday night game, but failed to connect on a last-minute two-point try. The Ravens won, 35-34. Chase has a combined 21 catches, 457 yds and five TDs in two games against Baltimore this year, both losses.

** The Panthers let their team on the field. They won anyway.
With arguably the worst roster in modern football history, Carolina squeaked out a 20-17 overtime win against the New Jersey Giants. It’s their second win in a row, and their second winning streak of any kind since October 2021.

QB: Joe Burrow, 41.72 pts — started by Jeff
WR: Ja’Marr Chase, 41.10 pts — started by Mike
RB: Bijan Robinson, 26.97 pts — started by Bob
TE: Travis Kelce, 14.27 pts — started by Jonathan
K: Tyler Bass, 13.00 pts — started by Bob
DEF: Philadelphia, 23.00 pts — started by me
D: Taron Johnson, 12.50 pts — on the wire

It’s always the defensive player. Speaking of defense, the #2 defense on the week was Buffalo, with 20.00 pts, sitting on my bench.

Since I gave you Chase’s numbers in the two Ravens games, here are Burrow’s: 820 passing yds, nine TDs, 1 INT, two losses. Baltimore QB Lamar Jackson managed 10 total TDs in those games, in which the two teams totaled 141 combined points. Just wow.

Don’t look now, but over the last four weeks, Eagles QB Jalen Hurts actually has more total TDs (16) than Jackson (15) with the same number of turnovers (both 2). And over that span, Hurts’ team is 4-0, unlike the MVP-favorite Jackson’s Ravens, who are 3-1.

Hurts also leads the league in first-half brain farts, with 472.

“Names we know” edition

3rd place: Jalen Reagor, -0.20 pts — on the wire
2nd place: Olamide Zaccheaus, -0.97 pts — on the wire
1st place: Cooper Rush, -2.00 pts — on the wire

Zaccheaus, who was on the Eagles last year, nearly muffed the first punt he saw in Sunday’s Commanders game and fumbled the second, leading to a key Steelers score and a Pittsburgh win. Reagor, who never “played” for the Eagles but did steal a roster spot for a while, produced -2 yds rushing on two WR runs, and did nothing else.

But let’s talk about Cowboys backup QB Cooper Rush, who played three quarters and produced one of the worst performances of the season: 13 for 23, 45 passing yds and two lost fumbles. Completing that many passes for less than 4 yds a catch is really, really hard.

For what it’s worth, nine QBs had two or more turnovers in games this weekend (including Jalen Hurts). Their combined record was 4-5, which, all things considered, is surprisingly good.


** During the radio broadcast of the Panthers/Giants game Sunday, play-by-play announcer Bob Papa noted the large number of cheers after the Giants grabbed a turnover late in the fourth quarter. “This may be a Panthers home game, but there are plenty of Giants fans here today!” he exclaimed.

What he failed to mention was that the game was taking place in Germany, which is not the traditional home turf of the Carolina Panthers. So that small contingent of Giants faithful outnumbering the even smaller contingent of Panthers fans isn’t as impressive as Papa may think.

** Facing criticism after WR CeeDee Lamb lost a potential go-ahead TD catch in the sun glaring through the side of Texas Stadium, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones flatly rejected the idea of putting up curtains to help players on the field see better because … well …

“Every team that comes in here has the same issues,” he said. “They know where the sun is going to be. Every team has the same thing. I’m not saying it’s on our coach. I’m saying the world knows where the sun is. We get to know that almost a year in advance. So someone asked me about the sun. What about the sun? Where’s the moon? We’re fine. But everybody plays in the sun out here.”

There you have it. Astronomers can estimate the distance from the sun to the Earth, so football players should be able to catch a ball while staring right into it. That’s just science.

** I was listening to the Columbus broadcast of the Ohio State game this weekend and the Ohio Soy Council had a commercial talking about all the products soy is used in that ends with the statement “soy low key slays” and that was the point that I decided this country is no longer worth saving.

Sunday was only the first of two games for the Eagles against the Cowboys this year, but the game was full of other notable firsts for the victorious birds:

** First win over Dallas after week 9 since 2019. (Six games)

** First win over the Cowboys in Texas since 2017. (Eight games)

** First time holding Dallas to no TDs since 2020. (Nine games)

** First time Saquon Barkley has won against the Cowboys. (10 games)

** First time scoring more than 30 in a win against Dallas since 2017. (15 games)

** First time forcing five turnovers against the Cowboys since 2008. (33 games)

** First time ending the Cowboys season with eight games left on the schedule. (131 games)

As if the Eagles embarrassment of the Cowboys at home on Sunday wasn’t enough, team officials confirmed in recent days that their $240 million QB, Dak Prescott, will require a season-ending operation on his leg to repair damage to his hamstring. The news is grim, but with how wild the NFL is, can you really count Dallas out of the playoff chase?

Yes. Yes you can. Just look at what the prognosis spells out:

Hamstring surgery needed for Dak Prescott
** Postseason march? Ended. Try grief drug trek.

The good news is that Dak has only missed 22% of regular season games over the last five years due to injury, so there’s no reason to think he can’t get hurt several more times before that giant contract is paid off.

** Dad’s never-ending faith in the Jets let him down again, and he sits three behind me in our weekly picks. But I’m sure next week will be the time that Aaron Rodgers finally turns it all around.

** The Eagles play the Marlyand Commies for the undisputed lead in the NFC East next week. The Commies are 7-3 but 0-2 against teams with winning records. The Eagles are 7-2 and sport a much more impressive … 1-1 record against teams with winning records. So, yeah, this game should really tell us … something.

** In its 14-3 win over North Texas on Saturday, Army football had a 94-yard second-half TD drive that lasted 21 plays and took 13:54 off the clock. I’m trying to come up with a joke but honestly I don’t even understand how the math works on that.

Week 10 standings

1 — Still The Best (Jonathan), 1276.35 pts
2 — Chop Block to the Artery (Capt Awesome), 1213.59 pts
3 — Kodos for President (Jo), 1192.77 pts
4 — Murder Hornets (Mike), 1188.52 pts
5 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 1158.92 pts
6 — DeVonta’s Inferno (Mom D), 1154.03 pts
7 — No One Likes Us We Don't Care (Bob), 1149.18 pts
8 — Beer 'n Chips (Dad), 1105.18 pts
9 — Jabronis (Ant), 1100.18 pts
10 — The Fightin Pickles (Sam), 980.09 pts
11 — Overachievers Anonymous (Paul), 920.72 pts
12 — All Rogers No Sauce (Joel), 864.03 pts

Jonathan extended his lead slightly this week, and our top three spots remain unchanged, which means that Fort Awesome maintains a military blockade around the medal stand.

Mom D is up a few spots, Bob is down a few spots, and five teams — Dad, Jeff, Joel, Paul and Sam — failed to crack 90 pts this week. There’s now a growing canyon right around that 8th-place spot that soon may be impossible to cross over, even with eight weeks of football left.

Speaking of all the football left … Eagles play the Commies on Thursday night, and four teams have a bye this week (including the Giants and Panthers, so that has major fantasy implications for you). Check your bench early and make sure to get your team above the century mark next week.