** Dec. 9: Foles sits on the sidelines as the Eagles lose to the Cowboys in overtime. At the end of the weekend, the Eagles have less than an 14 percent chance of making the playoffs.
** Dec. 16: Foles spurs the Eagles to an upset win of the Rams in Los Angeles, despite throwing only one TD pass. The Eagles chances of making the playoffs jumps to 36 percent.
** Dec. 23: Two days before Christmas, Foles sets the new Eagles single-game mark for passing yards (471) in a last-minute victory over the Texans. The team’s odds of making the playoffs rises to 48 percent.
** Dec. 30, 7 p.m.: Foles ties the NFL record for consecutive completions in a game (25) in the Eagles blowout win over the Maryland Racial Slurs. But the team’s odds of making the playoffs slides to 20 percent as the Vikings sit one win away from the post-season.
** Dec. 30, 7:30 p.m.: Foles uses his magic to victimize the people of Minnesota for the third time this calendar year, and the Vikings lose to the Bears. The Eagles chances of making the playoffs rise to 100 percent.
Look, you’d probably call that a good month, but realistically it’s at most his third-best month of 2018. January and February were still sweeter. Now let’s see what he does in 2019…
Top QBs of the year
3rd place: Ben Roethlisberger, 409.89 pts — 13th QB drafted (Sam)
2nd place: Matt Ryan, 424.79 pts — 12th QB drafted (me)
1st place: Patrick Mahomes, 517.08 pts — 16th QB drafted (Ant)
And yet again I ask: Why do we draft QBs early? The #4 QB on the year, Andrew Luck, was drafted between Mahomes and Roethlisberger. Mahomes ended up with 50 TDs and 5,000-plus yards passing and was the fourth backup QB drafted in our league. Meanwhile, only four of the first 10 QBs drafted ended up in the top 10 at the end of the year. Remember this for next season, folks. Grab those other skill positions first.
Top WRs of the year
3rd place: Davante Adams, 228.40 pts — 7th WR drafted (Jo)
2nd place: Antonio Brown, 229.97 pts — 1st WR drafted (Paul)
1st place: Tyreek Hill, 245.96 pts — 11th WR drafted (Sam)
Don’t let that draft spot for Hill fool you — 10 of the top 11 fantasy receivers on the year were drafted in the first four rounds. Three receivers had more yards on the year than Hill, and both Adams and Brown had more receiving TDs than him. But Hill had 213 return yards and 151 rushing yards to go along with his catching duties, so he gets the top billing here.
Top RBs of the year
3rd place: Christian McCaffrey, 306.10 pts — 13th RB drafted (Paul)
2nd place: Saquon Barkley, 316.77 pts — 6th RB drafted (Joel)
1st place: Todd Gurley, 323.77 pts — 1st RB drafted (Bob)
No surprise on Gurley — even though he missed the final two games of the season, he still came out ahead of the pack, living up to his billing as the top pick. The league’s rushing leader, Ezekiel Elliott, ended up left off this list, which is fine by me. And the #6 fantasy RB on the year was undrafted Steelers backup James Conner, who ended up getting all the LeVeon Bell work for the season and destroyed a lot of teams from day one.
Top TEs of the year
3rd place: George Kittle, 169.80 pts — 12th TE drafted (Paul)
2nd place: Zach Ertz, 183.53 pts — 3rd TE drafted (Jim)
1st place: Travis Kelce, 199.57 pts — 2nd TE drafted (Jo)
Ertz finished the season with 116 catches, good enough for 17th on the all-time NFL single-season chart. But Kelce ended up with 170 more yds and two more TDs, barely edging out Ertz for top fantasy honors at his position. Rob Gronkowski, the ever hyped top fantasy TE pick, ended up 12th.
Top Ks of the year
3rd place: Wil Lutz, 152.50 pts — 6th K drafted (Ant)
2nd place: Justin Tucker, 160.00 pts — 1st K drafted (Dad)
1st place: Ka'imi Fairbairn, 170.50 pts — undrafted
Not only was Fairbairn undrafted, he still isn’t on anyone’s roster. So if you need a kicker for the playoffs … Meanwhile, Dad’s decision to grab Tucker as the first K in the draft kind of paid off, but Tucker went in the 6th round, four rounds before any other kicker (including Lutz). That means Dad got eight extra pts out of Tucker instead of snagging WR Brandin Cooks, WR Robert Woods, TE Kittle and a host of other top performers still on the board.
Top DEFs of the year
3rd place: Houston, 154.00 pts — 6th DEF drafted (Sam)
2nd place: LA Rams, 159.00 pts — 4th DEF drafted (me)
1st place: Chicago, 200.00 pts — 11th DEF drafted (Jim)
Not a bad performance, all things considered. Dad’s gamble to take the Jacksonville defense in the 5th round turned out to be a disaster, but none of the top defenses went unclaimed for long. For the record, the worst defense on the year was Oakland, which averaged just over 2 pts per week, and totaled 166 pts less than the Bears.
Top Ds of the year
3rd place: Aaron Donald, 74.00 pts — undrafted
2nd place: Cory Littleton, 85.50 pts — undrafted
1st place: Darius Leonard, 89.50 pts — undrafted
We came so close to finally drafting one of the top defensive players on the year — Houston DE JJ Watt (who I took in the 10th round) was in fourth place, three pts behind Donald. But close only counts in horseshoes and thermonuclear war.
“Worst performers of the year” edition
5th place: Rod Streater, -1.10 pts — on the wire
4th place: Kaelin Clay, -1.20 pts — on the wire
3rd place: Geno Smith, -1.48 pts — on the wire
2nd place: Riley McCarron, -2.00 pts — on the wire
1st place: Kyle Lauletta, -2.20 pts — on the wire
A whopping 11 fantasy players finished in negative territory this season, a total that could be a record but honestly I’m not even sure how to look that up and it’s late in the year and I’m tired. But Lauletta, Eli Manning’s backup, grabs the title for the worst overall stat line for the year: One rushing attempt for -2 yds, one pass attempt, no completions, one interception. Congrats to him: If he had simply never walked on the field, he would have had more value for his team than when he tried to play.
** The latest Allstate commercial shows a man stealing a team flag to smash the window of a car to steal the vehicle while taunting the owner via a security camera. While all this happens, small print across the bottom reads “Demonstration: Do not attempt.”What part exactly are they saying not to attempt? Stealing a car? Narrating the crime on video? Damaging the car before stealing it? Because I hadn’t thought about doing any of that until you suggested it.
** Along the same lines, Geico now has a commercial about their past commercials where they encourage people to go online and vote for their favorite commercial and don’t mention insurance at all. Because Geico is a commercial company, not an insurance one.
** During the Miami/Buffalo game, with the Bills leading 14-0 in the first quarter, CBS announcer Steve Beuerlein announced that “This is where (Dolphins QB) Ryan Tannehill really has to step up.”
Quick question — why? The Dolphins were already eliminated from the playoffs. The Bills were already eliminated from the playoffs. The game was meaningless and already out of hand. Why did Tannehill need to perform there? At best, he needed to step up five weeks ago.
FYI, on that series Tannehill threw an interception and the Bills won 42-17. It was all because Tannehill didn’t step up.
We’re just one day past the end of the NFL regular season and there have already been eight coaches fired. That’s leadership turnover at a full quarter of the franchises in the league. And we may not be done. Consider these other likely moves:
** Cowboys coach Jason Garrett: Sure, his job looked safe two weeks ago when the Cowboys won the NFC East, but when Dallas loses at home to the Seahawks and watches the Eagles get into the second-round of the playoffs a day later, it’ll be tough for owner Jerry Jones to keep the underachieving coach around.
** Patriots coach Bill Belichick: There’s no chance he gets fired, but when QB Tom Brady’s arm falls off in the third quarter of their opening playoff game, Belichick will realize that he has no backup plans beyond his 10-year juicing of Brady’s body and footballs. He’ll announce his retirement the next day, and within 10 months have all of his victories stripped from the record book for cheating.
** Eagles coach Doug Pederson: How could he possibly leave after his big Super Bowl win last year? Easy. After Pederson wins his second Super Bowl — again with his backup QB — football fans everywhere will demand he be removed in the interest of fairness. In the interest of helping the game, Pederson will take over Roger Goodell’s job, instituting much needed reforms to improve the game. Nick Foles will take over as Eagles coach/backup QB.
** Bills coach Sean McDermott: Seriously, can you be sure he wasn’t already fired? Maybe the Bills fired him, rehired him, then fired him again since you started reading this. But would you even notice?
Sunday’s Cowboys game mattered little, as the wretched Texas team had already clinched the division title a week before. The team has been talking up the possibility of a long post-season run, which would be a change from their 20-year streak of not getting out of the second round. But they have been playing their best football of the season recently. Should all the good hearted fans of America be worried that Dallas could prevail?
Nah. Just trust the anagram:
Dallas players enter the playoffs hopeful
** Setup fear, pander hype, yet fools shall fall
Oh, dear insult anagram. How we will go another eight months without your wisdom?
** As expected, Dad handily beat me in the weekly picks, finishing the year with a double-digit margin of victory. That breaks a three-season streak of yearly victories by me, and gives Dad bragging rights through next summer. For the year, he picked games at a 62-percent correct rate, better than most TV pundits. What I’m saying is, as more social media networks expand their sports offerings, it’s time to give Dad a show already.
** Alabama vs. Clemson in the national title game. Again. So exciting. Maybe next year we could skip every other game and then let both these fan bases just go sort it out somewhere out of sight.
** I just double checked, and the NFL is still going to allow the Eagles into the playoffs. Unbelievable.
Week 17 standings The official final week standings — and the crowning of the latest Awesome Cup Champion — will be unveiled on Tuesday.
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