Tuesday, November 04, 2014

Fantasy league 2014 -- week 9 recap

In honor of this week’s election, it’s time for another quiz: Which of these are NFL tackles vying for your Pro Bowl vote, and which are California Republicans vying for a congressional seat?

  1. Dan Logue
  2. Republican candidate NFL tackle
  3. Tue Phan
  4. Republican candidate NFL tackle
  5. Bren Giacomini
  6. Republican candidate NFL tackle
  7. Antonio “Tony” Amador
  8. Republican candidate NFL tackle
  9. Seantrel Henderson
  10. Republican candidate NFL tackle
  11. Demar Dotson
  12. Republican candidate NFL tackle
  13. Andrew Whitworth
  14. Republican candidate NFL tackle
  15. Dakin Sunden
  16. Republican candidate NFL tackle
  17. Zach Strief
  18. Republican candidate NFL tackle
  19. Doug Ose
  20. Republican candidate NFL tackle


If you got more than four of these right, you're either a true patriot or a very disturbed individual. 

QB: Ben Roethlisberger, 47.70 pts -- on Paul’s bench
WR: Julian Edelman, 29.11 pts -- started by Bobert
RB: Matt Asiata, 28.67 pts -- started by Mike
TE: Mychal Rivera, 22.53 pts -- on the wire
K: (tie) Stephen Gostkowski, 15.00 pts -- started by me
K: (tie) Steven Hauschka, 15.00 pts -- started by Jim
DEF: Miami, 27.00 pts -- on my bench
D: A.J. Bouye, 11.50 pts -- on the wire

Roethlisberger just finished the best two-game set in NFL history, tossing 12 TDs in contests against the Colts and Ravens. He posted 104.48 fantasy pts over that stretch, and Paul got none of them. For reference’s sake, Paul’s team is only averaging about 97 pts a week. Of course, Paul also started three players on a bye and two players on injured reserve this week, so it’s possible he has checked out of this season.

“People we started” edition
3rd place: Philip Rivers, -2.18 pts -- started by Ant
2nd place: Denver, -3.00 pts -- started by Bobert
1st place: San Diego, -6.00 pts -- started by me

Throw Philip Rivers onto the “QBs you were better than” pile -- his 31.0 QB rating this week came after a three INT, 138 yard passing performance where the Chargers were destroyed by the Dolphins, 37-0. He also threw in one fumble just for grins. Prior to this game, he had only scored less than 20 fantasy pts twice and had a season low of 14.5 pts in week one. This week, every single QB in the league was better than him. And every one outside of the league to. Hell, Koy Detmer was worth 2.18 pts more than Rivers this week.

And, yes, I did start the worst defense of the week over the best defense of the week, costing my team 33 pts in one move. Thanks for noticing.


In the Eagles/Texans game, with the score tied 7-7 in the second, Jeremy Maclin reeled in a 52-yard catch to put the birds at the 8-yard-line. But then he took a shot at the Houston CB covering him, drawing a 15-yard penalty and this comment from Eagles radio broadcaster Merrill Reese:

“Unfortunately, that takes the Eagles out of a goal-to-go situation and moves them outside the red zone.”

Sorry, Merrill, but that’s very fortunate. The Eagles are 31st in the league in red zone TD scoring, and 30th in QB rating in the red zone. And yet they’re first in the NFC in scoring. So it’s really better to back them up to get them to score.

For the record, the Eagles did score on that drive later on.

Disturbing sentences about the Eagles that make them seem like they're in last place, not first:

** Chris Polk has as many rushing TDs as LeSean McCoy.

** The team’s healthiest leading tackler is Malcolm Jenkins, a safety.

** Eagles QBs are on pace to have as many turnovers as passing TDs.

** The team’s cornerbacks have zero interceptions so far this year.

** The fate of the season rests on Mark Sanchez.


The Cowboys dropped their second game in a row, largely due to the ineptitude of their offense. Much of that can be attributed to the loss of their QB, Tony "Toy Moron" Romo, who missed the game with cracked vertebrae in his back. But few people know that's not the only malady he's hiding. Just look at what the letters say:

Dallas' Tony Romo has an oft-injured back
** A dim, black soul, no heart, no joy. And farts.

I know I shot down potty humor in the anagram last week, but that was before the Cowboys started playing like crap.


** Finally, I picked up two games on Dad this week to cut his lead to three games. I knew he'd fall for the old "Peyton Manning could beat Tom Brady in the regular season this time!" trick.

** Mike Vick lost his start for the Jets this week. I know you are shocked.

Week 9 standings

1 --- Ouch My Zach Ertz --- 1280.15 pts
2 --- Sheldon's Big Money --- 1256.98 pts
3 --- Tickle me Romo --- 1221.50 pts
4 --- Stewie Griffins Head --- 1211.44 pts
5 --- The Maltese Falcons --- 1187.75 pts
6 --- Gettin' Chippy --- 1145.47 pts
7 --- Blue Collar Killers --- 1132.67 pts
8 --- Show Me Your TDs --- 1098.88 pts
9 --- king hippo --- 1058.73 pts
10 --- Car full of Clowneys --- 1046.34 pts
11 --- I Mildly Like WRs --- 897.69 pts

Not a lot of change from last week, other than Mike stretching his lead out a little bigger. Dad is slowly but surely sneaking up on me, and Anthony seems to be the dividing line between the have and have nots.

But it could be worse. You could be relying on Mark Sanchez to lead you to the promised land...

1 comment:

Jo said...

8 for me! Disturbed? Or awesome?