Grading the Eagles 2010 draft

It’s time again to break down the Eagles draft the only sensible way – looking at the anagrams of their names to see what we can learn about their character:

DE Brandon Graham
Anagram: Bang hard or amend
Verdict: Great slogan for a pass rusher. Either hit people hard, or change your ways. I expect great things.

FS Nate Allen
Anagram: Flannel seat
Verdict: I assume this means he’s soft and plaid. Neither are what you want in a shut-down safety.

DE Daniel Te'o-Nesheim
Anagram: Dead enemies hotline
Verdict: Awesome. Just awesome. The defensive line looks better already.

CB Trevard Lindley
Anagram: Dirty, clever, bland
Verdict: As long as he’s a smart, hard worker, I can accept that he’s boring as hell.

LB Keenan Clayton
Anagram: Bony ankle lancet
Verdict: Plays like a knife cutting down to your bone. Jeez, the defensive guys are really getting it this year.

QB Mike Kafka
Anagram: Mi a hack, fake QB
Verdict: Not only is he a fake QB, but his spelling skills look terrible. Not what you want from a field general.

TE Clay Harbor
Anagram: A lacy brother
Anagram: A racy brothel
Anagram: Breathy Carol
Verdict: Honestly, I’m having trouble finding a non-dirty anagram for this guy. Sounds like a clubhouse problem to me.

DE Ricky Sapp
Anagram: Spidery pack
Verdict: OK anagram, but no way it beats the DEs ahead of him in this draft.

WR Riley Cooper
Anagram: Yowl -- Epic error.
Verdict: If you can spell out “epic error” with the letters in your name, you’re in trouble.

RB Charles Scott
Anagram: Crotch blasters
Verdict: Not sure if that means he’s so fast he’ll fake you out of your pants or his. Either way, sounds exciting.

LB Jamar Chaney
Anagram: Mean archly jab
Verdict: I’m not sure what that is, but it sounds angry. So, that’s good news … yes?

DT Jeff Owens
Anagram: Few fond jets
Verdict: Well, yes, there are few players on the Jets that I like. I hardly see how that’s relevant here.

SS Kurt Coleman
Anagram: Tumors slacken
Verdict: Well, at least he has those growths under control.