Reasons for the Phils' slide

What's ailing the boys in red, according to recent analysis from 610 WIP:

-- Donovan McNabb
-- Donovan McNabb's parents
-- Donovan McNabb's inability to complete short passes
-- Donovan McNabb's inability to work with other superstars
-- Utley's inability to hit curveballs (because of McNabb)
-- Andy Reid

Alternate jobs for Mr. One-for-Six

Currently Phils first baseman is second in the league in Home Runs but batting under .220. He has more RBI (62) than hits (60). Ever wonder what he'll do if this baseball thing doesn't work out?

If Ryan were your mailman ...
No mail would be delivered on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday.
Every Friday, you'd receive a check from Publisher's Clearing House.

If Ryan went to Hollywood ...
He'd get bit parts in the next four installments of the Police Academy series.
Then he'd get an Oscar for his interpretation of Richard III.

If Ryan were a brewmaster ...
The first five beers of every six pack would be Pabst Blue Ribbon.
The sixth in each one would be Yuengling Premium.

If Ryan manned this blog ...
The first five posts every month would blow.
The sixth would be hilarious.
OK, so not much would change there.

Questionable math

Somebody explain this formula to me, will ya?



It's the only way this makes sense.

Too bad he can't afford a soul

How the biggest jerk in the NFL plans to spend that $34 million in blood money:

$600 for a replica Super Bowl ring (closest he'll get to a real one)


$4.95 for a days of the week pill box



$1.7 million for a new car to compensate for, um, stuff



$3.00 for premium popcorn



$12.49 for his best-selling jersey



$15 for video of the last time the 'boys won a playoff game



$1,000 in an effort to cover the stench of his rotting heart



$5,999.99 for 1,000 unused (and unwanted) T.O towels