Getting to know your fill-in Phillies

With opening day around the corner, there are a few new faces of note on the 2012 version of the Phillies. Here’s a quick introduction:

2B/SS Freddy Galvis
Bio: The highly-regarded 21-year-old has bounced between AA and AAA ball the last few years.
Role: Team officials insisted he was still a few years away from the majors … until Chase Utley and Michael Martinez went down with injuries. Now, apparently, he’s ready.
Suggested nickname: Fred X, Not Utley

1B/OF Ty Wigginton
Bio: This 10-year veteran has played for six other teams already, and also cranked out 150-plus home runs.
Role: He’ll be part of the rotating cast of characters at first until Ryan Howard’s projected return in … June? Let’s say June.
Suggested nickname: Getting wiggy with it, Ty Detmer

OF Juan Pierre
Bio: A 12-year veteran, Pierre looks like he’s 97 years old. He’s also a .296 hitter for his career, so he’ll have to work on strikeouts to fit with the Phillies
Role: He’ll be in the outfield platoon for the early part of the season, and may hit leadoff if Rollins gets moved down to the three spot because of injuries.
Suggested nickname: Juan, Pierre

1B/PH Jim Thome
Bio: No bio available. I’ve never heard of the guy before
Role: This year’s Matt Stairs. Also, he apparently played first base once. No other info on that.
Suggested nickname: No idea. Maybe just his last name? I think it rhymes with “foam.”

RP Jonathan Papelbon
Bio: Papelbon was the Red Sox closer for the last six years. He is a pompous ass.
Role: Papelbon will be the Phillies main closer and primary pompous ass.
Suggested nickname: Pompous-elbon, Dammit get an out already

SP Joe Blanton
Bio: Joe Blanton has been on the Phillies for the last four years. You just forgot because he was AWOL all last season.
Role: Blanton will be the team’s #5 starter until, as part of an annual hazing rite, they hand that role back to Kyle Kendrick
Suggested nickname: Innings Eater, Not Halladay