Monday, July 25, 2011

2011 Fantasy Lockout League results

With the lockout season ending this week, here’s a look at how everyone did in our league this year:

6th place -- Rookie Cap Rumble (Paul)
1342 pts
** Drafting QB Tom Brady was huge for Paul -- His 15 plaintiff points per week led all litigators in the Circuit Court Conference. But the rest of his crew was a major disappointment: Judge David Doty had no running game whatsoever, and his kicker (a contract addendum mandating a 20-game season) ended up costing him in the end.

5th place -- NBA strike 4ever (Mike)
1555 pts
** Mike’s wideout corps of Hines Ward and Kenny Britt came through with a whopping 42 points each in criminal distraction points, but the fun stopped there for his squad. Bills owner Ralph Wilson as lead negotiator? Please. How’s he gonna deal with a legal audible when he can’t even field a decent linebacker corps?

4th place -- Hall of Shame Game (Anthony)
1677 pts
** Two words for why this team failed: Tony Romo.

3rd place -- Rosen-House Party (Bob)
1687 pts
** You knew Bob was just going to stack up the stats with workhorse Roger Goodell in his backfield, but he really hit the jackpot by snagging former U.S. solicitor general Paul Clement off the waiver wire. If only Raiders owner Al Davis hadn’t abstained from the final contract vote, he would have gotten the 100-point “unanimous vote” bonus and stolen the title.

2nd place -- NLFPA LOL (Joanna)
1701 pts
** Drew Brees, Logan Mankins, Mike Vrabel … it seemed like Joanna had every player in the 8th District end zone all season long. In the end, the only mistake she made was banking on the Albert Haynesworth civil suit to get her extra penalty points, but Rashard Mendenhall’s bin Laden tweets almost put her over the top anyway. Almost.

1st place -- Decertify This (Me)
1751 pts
** Peyton Manning was the real star for my team: His consistency scoring bargaining points and TV commercial payouts made your team’s final deals look more NHL than NFL. But the real key was the strategy in not drafting any fans for my team, so I didn’t have to take a 20-point penalty multiple times as they all got screwed each week.


Thanks everyone for playing. We’ll do it again in seven to ten years.

1 comment:

Reggae Bush said...

Quality