Breaking down the draft

It's time to analyze the Eagles draft the only way that makes sense: anagraming the names of the rookies to see what really lies inside their character.

Round 1 -- OL Danny Watkins
Anagram: Old tank yawns in
Analysis: He's a 26-year-old college grad, and even he is bored with this pick .Why should we be excited? Cut him from the team.

Round 2 -- DB Jaiquawn Jarrett
Anagram: Jaw ajar, quits rent
Analysis: A slack-jawed deadbeat? How does that help the secondary? Cut him from the team.

Round 3 -- DB Curtis Marsh
Anagram: Charms disturb
Analysis: I don’t care how cool he seems, I don’t trust the guy. Cut him from the team.

Round 4 -- LB Casey Matthews
Anagram: Why bet, classmate?
Analysis: HORRIBLE PICK. The last thing the Eagles need is a college athlete clearly hiding an illegal gambling habit. Cut him from the team.

Round 4 -- Nebraska K Alex Henery
Anagram: Akers’ ankle hex nearby
Analysis: Probably an accurate description -- Akers is likely to blow out his leg trying to upstage this kid. To protect David, cut him from the team.

Round 5 -- RB Dion Lewis
Anagram: Ole bird wins
Analysis: GREAT PICK. That’s what I like to see: players who have a winning attitude and the team mascot right in their names. Keep him.

Round 5 -- OL Julian Vandervelde
Anagram: Older juvenile vandal
Analysis: Old and immature? No thanks. We already have Vick. Cut him from the team.

Round 6 -- OL Jason Kelce
Anagram: Jello-cake son
Analysis: Great -- another overweight, out-of-shape O-lineman. Cut him from the team.

Round 6 -- LB Brian Rolle
Anagram: Barbell, I lorn
Analysis: Aw, somebody get this poor guy a set of weights to play with. Then cut him from the team.

Round 7 -- DE/LB Greg Lloyd
Anagram: Dry gelled glob
Analysis: What’s with all the fat guys this year? Is Andy trying to make himself look skinnier? Cut him from the team.

Round 7 -- RB Stanley Havili
Anagram: Shy vanilla biter
Analysis: If you want to play in the NFL, you can’t be shy, you can’t be boring, and you can’t bite people. Cut him from the team.

Not a good sign -- 11 draftees, 10 losers, one winner. It's gonna be a long season, if they ever start it up.