2009 fantasy recap, week #11

That chill in the air may not be just the impending winter. Consider:

** The Temple Owls football team is on the verge of being ranked in the top 25. Technically they’re 29th right now, with a 9-2 record and a real chance of winning the MAC. Al Golden is being talked about for coach of the year. Remember, the Owls’ record from 2003-2007 was 9-50.

** The Eagles won a close game thanks to smart running plays. Over the last two real series (not including the final kneel downs) the Birds ran the ball nine times and passed it eight times, chewing up over eight minutes of the last quarter. Andy Reid even gave up the chance to pass on two separate third and short plays with under three minutes left.

** Michigan’s football team isn’t going to a bowl game … again. The Wolverines went 1-7 over their last eight games and finished dead last in the Big Ten. The last time that happened was in 1962, during the height of the Cuban missile crisis.

** Brett Favre is the top rated passer in the NFL. Maybe this isn’t a sign that hell has frozen over, but it’s definitely something that will anger God and bring about the apocalypse.

** A catcher won the AL MVP award for the first time in 33 years. Joe Mauer also won his second AL batting title this year and was a near unanimous selection for the honor. Every voter went for Mauer over Saint Derek Jeter. Catchers aren’t supposed to win these awards; They’re purely for decorative purposes, like lawn gnomes or horse jockeys.

If Reggie Brown records a 100-yard receiving week next week, it’s a sure sign that Saddam Hussein has finally overthrown Satan and installed an air conditioner.

QB: Matt Stafford, 43.58 pts – sitting on the wire
RB: Ricky Williams, 33.17 pts – started by Neal
WR: Wes Welker, 28.88 pts – started by NewMike
TE: Kevin Boss, 22.07 pts – sitting on the wire
K: Billy Cundiff, 17.00 pts – sitting on the wire
DEF: New England, 21.00 pts – sitting on Joel’s bench
D: Leigh Bodden, 15.00 pts – sitting on the wire

Another sign that hell has frozen over; The Lions’ QB was the best player on the week. In case you didn’t hear about the epic Cleveland/Detroit game …

With his team trailing 37-31 and just eight seconds left in the game, Stafford heaved a Hail Mary pass as a defensive lineman drove him into the ground. The pass fell incomplete, but a safety blatantly interfered with a Lions wideout -- setting up an untimed final down on the one yard line. Stafford, whose shoulder was injured on the previous play, shook off his medical staff and tossed the game-winning TD. He couldn’t even raise his arm in victory as the team celebrated around him.

If this was a Colts/Patriots game, you’d be hearing about that ending for years. As it is, no one will remember it outside of Detroit next week.

A special shout-out to former Cowboys/Eagles/49ers wide receiver Terrell Owens, who had a monster game this week: He recorded 9 catches for 197 yards an a TD on Sunday. The performance showed everything you need to know about this possible Hall of Fame wideout:

** His team still lost, 18-15. The game came a week after he helped get his coach fired.
** After the game, he said he’s ready to “put the team on my shoulders” and help push them towards the playoffs. The team is 3-7 and in last place in the AFC East.
** The huge day made him the 38th best pass catcher on the year – He’s now just ahead of Johnny Knox and Jeremy Maclin on the fantasy points list.
** In the last decade, T.O. has been on the field for one playoff win (in 2002).

He’s an all-time great, as long as you don’t include wins and class.

3rd place: Seattle, -4.00 pts – sitting on Jeff’s bench
2nd place: Detroit, -5.00 pts – sitting on the wire
1st place: Tampa Bay, -6.00 pts – sitting on the wire

For the second time this year we’ve had a defense bottom out; The Bucs allowed 38 pts to the Saints and recorded zero sacks, turnovers or blocked kicks. That’s a looooong way from Ronde Barber’s heyday.

At various points in Sunday’s game the radio announcing crew for the Maryland Racial Slurs called the DC regional team’s effort “exemplary,” “valiant,” “outstanding” and “great.”

The Racial Slurs lost the game to the Dallas Cowboys 7-6. The team went 2-4 on field goal attempts and had more than twice as many punting yards (195) as rushing yards (78).

There’s a big difference between “valiant” and “close.” Your team played tough and lost at the very end instead of getting blown out. That’s not great football; that’s a close game.

Actually, by Redskins standards maybe it is…

Actual odds to win the Super Bowl, at Bodog.com this week:

** Detroit Lions (2-8 record): 8000 to 1.
** Buffalo Bills (3-7): 5000 to 1.
** Maryland Racial Slurs (3-7): 300 to 1.
** Seattle Seahawks (3-7): 500 to 1.
** Philadelphia Eagles (6-4): 24 to 1.
** Dallas Cowboys (7-3): 20 to 1.
** Cincinnati Bengals (7-3): 11 to 1.
** San Diego Chargers (7-3): 8 to 1.
** Minnesota Vikings (9-1): 4 to 1.
** Indianapolis Colts (10-0): 7 to 2.
** New Orleans Saints (10-0): 7 to 2.

It’s almost worth that Lions bet. It’ll never happen, but $10 pays $80,000.

Every year I look forward to Thanksgiving (the second-best holiday of the year, right behind Draftsgiving). But every year when that Thursday rolls around I’m reminded that even in times of family bonding and relaxation, evil can creep in.

I’m referring, of course, to the made-up “tradition” that Dallas has to play football on Thanksgiving. The first nationally broadcast game on the holiday was Detroit, not Dallas. When the Cowboys joined the league, they decided they should steal that too, along with the integrity and decency of the league.

Don’t believe me? It’s all spelled out clearly right there:

Dallas Cowboys on Thanksgiving
-- TV? No. Gasbag clowns sink holiday --

No turducken can ever fully wash down the bitter taste they leave in your mouth.

Click on the standings to make them bigger.

Don’t be fooled by New Mike – he can be beat (hopefully by my sudden resurgence, thank you Jamaal Charles) if you hang in there. NewMike earned the Andy Reid Blown Call of the Week award this week, leaving a whopping 41 pts on his bench. That easily outdistanced Joel (38 pts on the bench) and Ant (36 pts) and Jeff (35 pts).

It’s not over. There are still six weeks left, and five teams within 170 pts of first place.

** Dad didn’t lose ground this week, but he didn’t gain any either: He sits at 12 back with just six weeks left. That’s just two wins per week the rest of the way. That’s still doable.

** Don’t forget: Three games on Thursday, so there are players on six teams you need to worry about before noon on the holiday. And the trade deadline is Dec. 4, which is an important date to remember anyway...

** Yeah, I typed turducken. And I meant it.

2009 fantasy recap, week #10

Monday was the anniversary of not one but two recent Eagles tie games: their 1997 debacle against the Ravens (10-10) and their 2008 debacle against the Bengals (13-13). Here’s how some of the Philadelphia team celebrated the joyous occasion:

Brent Celek – Hung out downtown and tied people’s shoes for free.

Andy Reid – Ate an equal number of cheesesteaks and hoagies.

Reggie Brown – Wore a tie to practice. No one noticed, because they were surprised he was still on the team.

LeSean McCoy – Dined out at a Thai restaurant (merely a coincidence, though).

David Akers – Spit on the ground in disgust.

Donovan McNabb – He’s still waiting for the second overtime period.

QB: Peyton Manning, 33.08 pts – started by Paul
RB: Chris Johnson, 40.87 pts – started by NewMike
WR: Randy Moss, 32.93 pts – started by me
TE: Brent Celek, 15.13 pts – started by Ant
K: Connor Barth, 17.00 pts – sitting on the wire
DEF: Baltimore, 29.00 pts – started by Bobert
D: Charles Woodson, 12.50 pts – started by Heidi

I’ve never heard of Connor Barth either. He plays for the Bucs as of two weeks ago, and kicked three 50-plus-yard field goals on Sunday, tying an NFL record. Earlier this year he was beaten out for the Chiefs’ starting job by Ryan Succop, then beaten out by Dan Carpenter for the Miami starting job. I’ve never heard of them either.

Regardless, NewMike is starting to run away with this. I’m beginning to rethink the rules about letting new people in.

Here’s why Patriots coach Bill Belichick is an idiot.

On Sunday night, with his team leading by six points late in the final quarter but facing a 4th and 2 on their own 28 yard line, the genius coach opted to go for it instead of punting. If he converted, the Patriots could run out the clock and win the game. They didn’t, and the Colts had a short field with which to score the game winning TD less than two minutes later.

That’s not why he’s an idiot.

He’s an idiot because, facing a 4th and 2, Belichick called a passing play. Yes, the Patsies are a great passing team. Yes, their run game has some issues. But if you can’t pound the ball forward six feet in that situation, you should be punting the ball.

Here’s a breakdown of how teams have fared going for it on 4th-and-1 or 4th-and-2 over the last two weeks:

** Run plays: 9 conversions in 17 attempts (53 percent)
** Pass plays: 2 conversions in 11 attempts (18 percent)

For the record, only one of those short-to-go pass attempts came in the last two minutes of the game, so time wasn’t an urgent factor.

Memo to Andy Reid and the rest of the coaches in the NFL – Running plays count too. Try using them more.

Backup QB edition

3rd place: Bruce Gradkowski, -1.26 pts – sitting on the wire
2nd place: Chris Simms, -1.48 pts – sitting on the wire
1st place: Ryan Fitzpatrick, -1.76 pts – sitting on the wire

Not surprisingly, all three of these teams that were forced to use their backups for a while on Sunday (the Raiders, Broncos and Bills, respectively) lost their games. Fitzpatrick even managed to post a perfect 0.00 QB rating on Sunday (2 for 7, 6 yds, 1 INT), which made Simms’ 7.9 rating look impressive in comparison.

What is surprising is that Bears QB Jay Cutler didn’t make the list, despite his five INTs last Thursday night. Here’s hoping he’s got another one of those days queued up next week, when the Iggles come to town.

On Sunday, as I searched for the Eagles broadcast on satellite radio (my first mistake), I stumbled across the end of the Dolphins/Bucs game. Just as Ricky Williams broke free for a 27-yard run to set up the game-winning field goal, Miami radio announcer Jim Mandich let loose with this analysis:

We are on the brink of an impossible dream! The barn door is open and I see the pasture out there, screaming ‘Take me! Take me!’

The irony of the situation was that Miami’s field goal attempt was blocked by a cow that came roaming through the stadium at the last second. Tough break.

The Buffalo Bills, just nine games into a miserable season and just two days after "star" wide receiver Terrell Owens threw a fit on the sidelines during Sunday's loss, fired coach Dick Jauron on Tuesday, leaving the team in complete disarray.

I, for one, am completely stunned. I really though T.O.'s leadership would help turn that organization around.

Even when the Cowboys aren’t participating in illegal activities they’re still involved in morally questionable ones. Take for example, Junior Siavii. He’s only been with the team a few months, but already his true nature is shining through in his name:

Dallas Nose Tackle Junior S. Siavii
-- Alas, lad! I injure violins, eat socks --

Disgusting. Simply disgusting.

Click on the standings to make them bigger.

It’s not all bad news in this week’s standings – just look at who has come creeping up the charts. And there are still six teams within 200 pts of first place, so anything is possible …

… except Neal winning. There’s no way that can happen.

** Dad dropped to 11 back in the weekly picks. But he helped me install a new bathroom sink, and he correctly called the Dallas upset loss this week, so I won’t pick on him this week.

** Fare thee well, Eric “Triple Play” Bruntlett. If you, Brett Myers and Pat Burrell all end up on the same team, I’ll root for you a little.

** We’ve had our first trade of the season this weekend – Just a reminder that you only have a few more weeks before the trade deadline expires, so if you can find a way to get Adrian Peterson off of Neal’s bench, now is the time.

** We’re also done with the bye weeks (mercifully) but don’t forget that we do have Thursday games from here on out, so adjust your rosters accordingly. This week it’s Miami vs. Carolina, which is probably a big deal for some expatriate living between the two regions in the Bahamas, but not for anyone else.

2009 fantasy recap, week #9

Questions taken from the actual entrance exam Andy Reid passed at the start of this year, to see if he was smart enough to retain his job:

Your team is trailing 21-14 in the waning minutes of a crucial division game. You have no timeouts left and face a 4th and 10 at your own 43-yard line. What do you do?

Kick a FG, making it 21-17	Kick a FG, making it 21-21
Call a QB sneak	Call a timeout

Your team has the ball at midfield with no timeouts and just 20 seconds left on the first-half clock. You need to pick up 20 yards for a realistic FG chance. What do you do?

Call a FB screen pass in the center	Call a QB sneak
Call a FB screen pass on the left	Call a timeout

It’s the first play of the game against the worst-rated run defense in the league. Your QB may have suffered a rib injury in the opening warm up, and is throwing up on the sideline. What do you do?

Call a 15-yard pass play	Call a 50-yard pass play
Call a pass 10 yds behind the line	Call a timeout

It’s overtime, you just used your last timeout and there are only three seconds left in the game. Your offensive coordinator says the only remaining option is a Hail Mary pass. What do you do?

Call a run play	Call a FB swing pass
Kneel and hope for double overtime	Call a timeout

How many seconds are left in the game if the two-minute warning has just sounded?

200 seconds	15 minutes
There’s not another quarter left?!?	Call a timeout

You’re playing scrabble. You can get a triple-word score if you spell out a seven letter word starting with T. In your hand you have two Ts, an M, and the vowels I, E, O and U. What do you do?

Call a swing pass to Mike Vick	Spell out “Toe”
Spell out “Item Out”	Spell out “Swing Pass”

Don’t worry about your score – no matter what you picked, you’re as qualified as Reid to call plays with the game on the line.

QB: Kurt Warner, 40.74 pts – started by Bobert
RB: Michael Turner, 32.03 pts – started by Jeff
WR: Larry Fitzgerald, 29.20 pts – started by Dad
TE: Greg Olsen, 27.73 pts – started by NewMike
K: Stephen Gotkowski, 14.50 pts – started by Joel
DEF: Tampa Bay, 27.00 pts – sitting on the wire
D: Anthony Hargrove, 13.40 pts – sitting on the wire

Everyone who was looking for a last-second fill in defense for this weekend, you lose. The Tampa Bay defense – which, admittedly, no one should have ever considered picking up – was the big winner this week and has been available all season long.

In light of that upset, his my advice for next week: Grab the Rams defense while you can. They’re guaranteed to light it up against the Saints next week.

That big defensive performance by the Tampa Bay Bucs propelled them to their first win of the year, raising their record to an exciting 1-7 on the season. Here’s how they can still win their division title:

** They win their final eight games (which is impossible)
** The Panthers lose three of their final eight (a real possibility)
** The Falcons lose five of their final eight (including two to the Bucs and one to the Panthers)
** The Saints lose seven of their final eight (including two to the Bucs, one to the Rams and one to the DC Racial Slurs);

Then, the Bucs would finish the season 9-7, tied with the Saints but holding the division record tiebreaker. And then they’d be guaranteed a first-round home playoff game.

And then the world would stop spinning on its axis.

3rd place – Brandon Jones, -0.06 pts – sitting on the wire
2nd place – Matt Leinart, -2.00 pts – sitting on the wire
1st place – Chicago, -3.00 pts – started by Neal

Thanks in large part to Chicago’s D, Neal’s six lowest-scoring players combined for –1.33 pts. His six other players scored 78.40 pts, which almost makes it look like a respectable week. Almost.

Highlights from the Andy Reid press conference this week, a veritable smorgasbord of stupid comments:

On why the team couldn’t execute on Sunday: “Maybe they’re trying too hard. That might be it.”
Oh yeah, that’s it. They were definitely trying too hard on all those failed yard-to-go conversions.

On those challenges: "The two missed challenges on my side of things, that was a problem, and whether they were right or wrong they were wrong.”
That’s just not English.

On Mike Vick: “I’m not disappointed. Not at all. He’s handled himself very well.”
Vick has accounted for 33 yards of total offense this year. That’s 17 fewer yards than WR Greg Lewis. I’m not sure how you can spin Vick being 2/3rds the player that Lewis is as a positive.

On his responsibility as coach: “I think it comes down to putting players in the right position to execute. We all get a piece of the pie.”
That’s a flat out lie. When Andy is around, no one else gets any pie. They’re lucky to escape with their limbs intact.

When Cowboys owner Jerry Jones built his new NFL stadium last year, he put in a gigantic high-def scoreboard, oversized cupholders for fat fan’s oversized dinners, even overhead cages for cheerleaders to dance in.

And when he was finished, he gave it a name befitting his monstrous creation, hiding its true purpose by scrambling the letters. Just look:

New Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, Texas
-- Cube is a tin gym, a wanton sex-to-sin world --

I’m not completely sure what that means, but it’s pretty clearly evil. Possibly sexy, but sexy evil, much like a banshee in a mini-skirt (also known as a Cowboys cheerleader).

Your impossible college stats of the weekend:

** Cincinnati QB Zach Collaros – 19 completions, 480 yds, 1 TD
** Texas WR Jordan Shipley – 11 catches, 273 yds, 1 TD
** Missouri WR Danario Alexander – 13 catches, 213 yds, 1 TD
** Georgia Tech RB Jonathan Dwyer – 23 rushes, 195 yds, 1 TD
** Buffalo RB Jeffvon Gill – 23 rushes, 175 yds, 1 TD
** Virginia Tech RB Ryan Williams – 23 rushes, 179 yds, 0 TDs

Look over that list again. Someone explain to me how these six guys could collectively cover more than 1,500 yds – that’s running the length of the football field 15 times – and only manage five scores on the day.

Click on the standings to make them bigger.

It’s looking more and more like one-time champ Paul may be the only hope in unseating the newbie. Either way, both of them are starting to pull away from the pack.

** Dad dropped to 10 back in the weekly picks, just nine weeks in. Ouch. Just ouch.

** In their last 10 games decided by four points or less, the Eagles are now 1-8-1. That damn tie is going to haunt all of us forever.

** Great question at trivia tonight – in the four major professional sports leagues (NHL, not MLS, is the fourth) there are nine teams whose names don’t end in “s.” Name them.

I’m not gonna help you. I’ll let that drive you bonkers for another week.

The Phils lost, and that's OK

Look, no way to sugarcoat it: Getting that close to the title and losing just sucks. There are no smiling faces at Fort Awesome tonight (Well, the Harry Kalas doll still is, but the smile is sewn onto his mug). But it doesn't feel like when the Eagles lost the Super Bowl, or when the Lakers ripped through the Sixers, or when the Eagles lost that NFC championship game, or when the Eagles lost that NFC championship game, or when the Eagles lost that NFC championship game.

You know why?

Because Jimmy Rollins is still a World Series Champion. Ryan Howard still has a World Series ring. Chase Utley is still a WFC. David Wright still can't say that. And this loss doesn't change 2008.

Yeah, a repeat championship would have been awesome. Yeah, losing to New York sucks. But Philly was been home to the World Champion Phillies for 371 days, and they came within two wins of extending that another 365 days. Remember, it took 25 years to be able to say that.

No need for Negadelphia today. The Phils will return in April with the same line-up of power hitters and a full season of Cliff Lee. "Maybe next year" is an actual sincere phrase in this case. Hell, maybe even a few of the baseball experts might actually pick them to win the NL East.

It's a been a great three years of baseball out of this team, possibly the best in the 126-year history of the team. You can't be too angry about that.

**********

To the Yankees fans, congratulations. That obscene $207 million payroll got you exactly what you always hoped for: A championship for Alex Rodriguez.

Enjoy watching him at the parade.

He's the highest-paid hitman ever to play in the majors. On the field he's an all-around cheat (steroids, sure, but remember this and this too?) Off the field he's an embarrassment to humanity (Cheats on his wife, hangs out with strippers, whined about the pressure of his contact, leveled false accusations about reporters researching his steroids use). In 16 years he's had one successful postseason. He might get excluded from the Hall of Fame because of their "good character" clause.

And now he'll be considered the greatest Yankee of all-time.

Think I'm exaggerating? Watch carefully over the next few years as the inevitable happens. He'll break the all-time HR record in a Yankee uniform. He'll be invited to every big game after his retirement. Sports writers will wax poetically about his lofty stats and start comparing him to Ruth and Gerhig, and argue he was a better all-around player.

The only reason they weren't before was because he had no championships. Now he does, and he'll be the face of the Yankees for all time, New York's own Barry Bonds in a permanent New York uniform.

Jeter? Great player. Rivera? One of the top closers ever. Pettitte? Clutch performer. But they'll be secondary stories before 2010 starts.

For A-Rod, this was vindication and a coronation, "proof" that he is the greatest player ever. Embrace it, because any integrity that was left is now out the door with a player that Yankees fans have rightfully booed more times than any Red Sawx star.

So congratulations again. That 27th championship was definitely worth the last bit of remaining class of the first 26.

2009 fantasy recap, week #8

A closer look at the biggest choke jobs from Gotham in the last 15 years:

1995 – The New York Knicks, in the first game of the Eastern conference semifinals, boast a six-point lead with 17 seconds left in the game. But they miraculously surrender 11 points to Reggie Miller over those final ticks, and lose 107-105. They go on to lose the series in seven games.

2001 – The New York Yankees hold a 3-2 lead in the World Series after a pair of extra-inning wins over the Diamondbacks in New York. They are blown out in game six, and in game seven Mariano Rivera blows a one-run ninth-inning lead as Arizona wins the series.

2002 – The New York Giants, playing in the first-round of the playoffs, led the 49ers 35-14 with under five minutes left in the third quarter but surrendered three touchdowns, a two-point conversion and a field goal to lose 39-38. To add more insult to the loss, the refs blow an easy pass interference call against the 49ers on the final play of the game, denying a chance at a game-winning field goal.

2003 – The New York Giants, 25 years after the Miracle at the Meadowlands, lead the Eagles 10-7 with 1:18 left to play when RB Brian Westbrook returns a punt 84 yards for the game-winning TD. The win raises the Eagles record to 3-3, and is the first of an eight-game win streak that sees them finish the year at 12-4.

2004 – The New York Yankees, led by Derek Jeter, blow a three games to none lead in the ALCS by losing four straight games to the Boston Red Sox (including two in Yankee Stadium.) The Red Sox become the first team ever to come back from a 3-0 deficit in the playoffs.

2007 – The New York Mets, who held a seven-game division lead with 17 games left in the season, lose 12 of their remaining games and miss the playoffs as the Philadelphia Phillies steal the NL East title on the final day of the season. The next season they again lose on the final day of the season and miss the playoffs.

2009 – The New York Yankees …

QB: Aaron Rodgers, 34.68 pts – started by me
RB: Chris Johnson, 37.53 pts – started by NewMike
WR: Reggie Wayne, 27.80 pts – started by Joel
TE: Dustin Keller, 19.07 pts – started by ChampMike
K: Rob Bironas, 14.00 pts – sitting on the wire
DEF: Chicago, 31.00 pts – started by Neal
D: Spencer Haver, 15.40 pts – sitting on the wire

Haver totally cheated to get on this list; The Green Bay linebacker was inserted into the offense in the second half of Sunday’s game, catching two TDs while pretending to be a TE. If there was any justice, NewMike would get credit here for starting Julius Peppers and his 13 pts. But there isn’t, so he won’t.

You could have been rich if you had bet…

… that Eagles FB Leonard Weaver would rush for more yards on Sunday (75) than LaDainian Tomlinson (56).
… that seven games into the year Texans 3rd string RB Ryan Moats would have more rushing TDs (three) than Eagles 1st string RB Brian Westbrook (one).
… that this Sunday Eagles QB Donovan McNabb would have more catches (one) than Vikings WR Greg Lewis (zero).
… that Colts QB Peyton Manning would pass for over 300 yds this week (347) but zero touchdowns.
… that the Rams would win a game.

"Just players we started" edition
3rd place – Shonn Greene, -0.20 pts – started by Bobert
1st place (tie) – Seattle, -2.00 pts – started by Jeff
1st place (tie) – Green Bay, -2.00 pts – started by Joel

I hate ties, so let’s say Jeff had the worst starter this week.

Every Friday ESPN announcer Chris Berman does a preview of the upcoming slate of NFL games in a quick segment that SportsCenter calls “the two minute drill.”

Last Friday, the segment was five minutes long and was about 75 percent focused on the World Series. He never mentioned the upcoming Eagles-Giants game.

For the record, Fox baseball commentator Tim McCarver has said many, many stupider things in this World Series (in game five, within 10 minutes, he used the phrases “with which to hit except” and “it can be realized during the throw”) but the grammar auto-correct would not allow me to type any of them out completely.

On a scale from 1 (utterly predictable) to 10 (unbelievably unbelievable)

1 -- QB Eli Manning made a funny face
2 -- QB Eli Manning threw a pair of dumb INTs
3 -- QB Mike Vick was a non-factor in the game
4 -- WR Jeremy Macklin caught a TD.
5 -- QB Donovan McNabb still had a stupid fumble.
6 -- The Eagles won the game by 23 points.
7 -- No one covered WR DeSean Jackson on his TD catch.
8 -- The Eagles let their fullback rush the ball.
9 -- The Eagles fullback scored a rushing TD.
10 -- The Eagles scored two TDs in the last two minutes of a half.

Big game between Philly and Dallas this upcoming Sunday. Both the Eagles and Cowboys are coming off big wins. Both their QBs looked sharp this past week. Both their defenses look solid. Everything points to a close game … except for Dallas’ own interior defense. Just look at what Keith Brooking’s name clearly spells out.

Dallas Cowboys inside linebacker Keith Brooking
--- I beckon dis: Hero Eagles tack dorks, win by a billion ---

It’s bad enough the Cowboys are evil; The least they could learn is proper spelling.

Click on the picture to make it bigger.

Paul holds onto the top spot for the second week in a row (only the second time this year that’s happened) but the real story is Champ Mike, who just two weeks ago was in 10th place and slipping. Now ‘s back up in the top half … and he’s not even in this country. I’ve always said with strong, reliable fantasy coaching you don’t even need to be in the same room as your players.

Neal, who has effectively destroyed my “Andy Reid Blown Coaching Call of the Week” award, managed to outscore seven other teams despite leaving three inactive players in his roster. And more great news: One of those inactive defensive players he keeps using finally appeared on the field this week, meaning he scored his first points of the season out of the defensive player slots. It now looks inevitable that’s he’ll erase that 300-point hole he’s dug for himself.

** Dad finally broke the ice on the 2009 NFL season, going up a game in the weekly picks for the first time all year. That leaves him a mere seven games behind on the season. He’d be only six down if he hadn’t picked against the Eagles this week.

** This week’s reader-submitted links:
From Paul – Stop zooming in on Andy Pettitte.
From NewMike – Which big hit is worse? Raiders or Packers?

** On Saturday night Tim McCarver said that Brett Myers "knows something about strikes, because his teammates say he's the best bowler on the team." Later, when he struck out Jeter on a ball in the dirt, McCarver said "sometimes gutterballs can lead to strikes." I still am not sure why he wasn't arrested on the spot.

** Another baseball game tomorrow night, kids. Just take them one at a time.