Planning for Draftsgiving 2010

Normally right about now I'd be prepping for the 7th best holiday of the year (veterans reporting to Eagles' training camp) but I felt compelled to take a moment to address the changes to the draft announced by the NFL last week. In case you missed it, next spring the NFL will host the first round of the draft on a Thursday night, the second and third rounds on a Friday, and the later rounds on Saturday.

Let me reassure you that these changes won't hurt next year's Draftsgiving celebrations; In fact, I'll submit that it will make it even better, more exciting than 10 Super Bowls. Here's why:

1 -- It extends the celebration.
Sure, we'll still officially kick off the weekend on Saturday morning, cracking open the first beer before noon. But now Friday night is officially a warm-up act for the main event. And Thursday? That's just good practice.

2 -- The first round of the draft kinda sucks.
By round four all the big blowhards are off the air, and it's rapid-fire clips of fun folks you've never heard of. Who would you rather hear stories about, 1st round pick Jeremy Macklin or 5th round picks Macho Harris and Fenuki Tupou? At the very least, the names are much more fun.

3 -- There's less stress this way.
The last three years, the Eagles have managed to baffle and frustrate us with their first round picks. You know what they've done with their sixth rounders? Me either. Couldn't have been too stressful, though.

4 -- It'll let us focus more on the Phillies.
That's important, because by then the back-to-back MLB champions will deserve most of our love and devotion each day.

5 -- It'll help us focus on the true meaning of Draftsgiving.
Always remember the six tenets of the holiday: beer, steak, beer, camaraderie, beer, and Yuengling.

So don't worry about it; Just keep an eye on the counter up there in the right top of the website, and start getting ready for the sixth most important holiday of the year (the fantasy football draft.)

Eagles pre-season quiz

It's important to know the squad before we get into training camp. So here's your test to see how ready you are for the season -- can you distinguish the new Eagles players from the old Eagles cheerleaders?

D. Amendola -- Iggle or Cheergle?
       ** Answer **
A. Bedford -- Iggle or Cheergle?
       ** Answer **
P. Williams -- Iggle or Cheergle?
       ** Answer **
E. Bright -- Iggle or Cheergle?
       ** Answer **
T. Monroe -- Iggle or Cheergle?
       ** Answer **
E. Buckley -- Iggle or Cheergle?
       ** Answer **
M. Thigpen -- Iggle or Cheergle?
       ** Answer **
A. Stephan -- Iggle or Cheergle?
       ** Answer **
K. Parrish -- Iggle or Cheergle?
       ** Answer **
K. Campbell -- Iggle or Cheergle?
       ** Answer **

Just so you don't think I'm a stalker, I found all of the cheerleaders full names posted here. But I'm not ruling out stalking any fullbacks who can pick up a third and one.

8 ways they'll ruin the HR Derby

MLB has already ruined the World Series (by giving home field to the All-Star game winner), the All-Star game (by introducing interleague play), and democracy (by introducing the Natinals to DC). So it's only a matter of time before they ruin the Home Run Derby too.

Here's how they'll do it:

1 -- They'll make it count.
Some front office idiot will decide they need to spice up the competition by using it to set the World Series DH rules or next year's salary cap or something ridiculous.

2 -- They'll add judges.
Why simply count dingers when you could judge their style and flair too? Bonus point for silly costumes, because that's what the fans really love. Just look at the slam dunk contest.

3 -- They'll let fans vote.
Why should MLB pick the top sluggers to participate? The fans know who'd really be exciting in the game: Melky Cabrera! And Tim Wakefield!

4 -- They'll add metal bats.
Better bats mean longer homers. Longer homers mean more awesomeness. Next up: rubber balls and jet packs.

5 -- They'll add a bunt contest.
Small-ball can be exciting too! Watch Ichiro try to leg out an infield single (best three out of five attempts) and listen to the announcers extol the virtues of baseball fundamentals.

6 -- They'll add Nickleback.
What the Derby has always lacked is a rocking soundtrack. Nothing would improve it more than hearing the chorus of "Centerfield" covered by Chad Kroeger after every launch.

7 -- They'll add an old timers game.
That way, we can all see whether Reggie Jackson and Yogi Berra still have what it takes to be a star. The fences will be moved in 200 feet, of course. And Barry Bonds will be invited.

8 -- They'll move it to new Cowboys Stadium.
Jerry Jones' dream is finally fulfilled: 100-yard homers and a per-football-season chance to show off his new shrine. MLB will call it "cross promotion."

Honestly, I'm not sure any of those are worse ideas than letting Chris Berman shriek through the event each year...

Eagles season preview (according to Madden)

The folks behind Madden 2010 (now with 20 percent more Rothlesberginess) came out with their team and player ratings this week. The Eagles are listed overall at 88, one point lower than the Giants but still in the upper tiers of the game. Here's a closer look at how the video game gods view the team stacking up this year:

Best Player (95 rating):
CB Asante Samuel, and LT Jason Peters
Both men just barely beat out RB Brian Westbrook (94). It's worth noting that the game developers think the two best guys on the Iggles are someone who hasn't played a down for them yet and a guy who all of us thought was horribly overrated all last season.

Worst Player (51 rating):
QB A.J. Feeley
Awww, poor little Feeley. Keep trying there, buddy

Fastest Player (96 rating):
WR Jeremy Macklin
If the newly-drafted wideout is actually faster than Westbrook, WR DeSean Jackson and WR Kevin Curtis, the team's receiving corps is in better shape than any time since Freddie Barnett left.

Slowest Player (36 rating):
LG Max Jean-Gilles
At 355 pounds (the heaviest on the team) this comes as a complete shock to me.

Toughest Player (96 rating):
QB Donovan McNabb
If toughness means ability to come back for more punishment every year, this rating is dead-on. If it means one's ability to play football without puking...

Whimpiest Player (42 rating):
CB Jack Ikegwuono
He spent all of last year injured, but apparently instead of rehabbing he just ate ice cream and watched Lifetime movies.

Best Tackler (86 rating):
LB Stewart Bradley
Honestly, 86 is pretty low for a team's top tackler. And that means it's probably pretty accurate.

Worst Tackler (12 rating):
C Jamal Jackson
He comes in behind K David Akers (13), who can barely walk now, and WR Jeremy Macklin (20), who has never played a down in the NFL. That ain't good.

Strongest Player (99 rating):
RG Shawn Andrews
Coming in at #2? RT Stacey Andrews, his brother, at 97. How many arm wrestling matches do you think it'll take to settle this?

Weakest Player (44 rating):
WR DeSean Jackson
He's so weak he can't even carry a football across the goal line.

Easiest Call (Awareness, 97 rating):
RB Brian Westbrook
Telling me that Westbrook is the smartest player on the team is like telling me that Terrell Owens is an idiot. It's obvious, but it's still fun to see proof of it.

Most Shocking Call (Spin Move, 84 rating):
CB Macho Harris
Wait, we signed a corner named Macho Harris and I have yet to make fun of him? And his best skill is spinning?

Only 19 days until training camp, kids.