Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Fantasy recap, Week 11

Things I learned in San Antonio

** Those ‘Don’t Mess with Texas’ signs really are everywhere.
** "Fire and Rain" should not be played by mariachi bands in Irish restaurants, no matter how trendy your city is.
** They may root for the wrong teams, but having football on the TVs at the airport is a good move.
** Lotsa Mexican food down here. Who knew?
** Beer and burgers taste less appealing when you have to eat them while looking at Cowboys paraphernalia.

Top Performers

** QB: Tom Brady, 45.82 pts – started by Joanna
** RB: Chester Taylor, 37.93 pts – started by me
** WR: Some complete jerk, 43.53 pts – started by Paul
** TE: Donald Lee, 20.27 pts – started by Dad
** K: Sebastian Janikowski, 21.00 pts – sitting on the wire
** DEF: (tie) Arizona, 24.00 pts – started by Jim
** DEF: (tie) Tampa Bay, 24.00 pts – sitting on Mike’s bench
          WR Randy Moss was worth one point less than that jerk, and Paul now has an insurmountable lead because the entire league refuses to cover those two. Meanwhile, somewhere Freddie Mitchell still insists he was the best wideout on that 2004 team…

Andy Reid Blown Call of the Week award

          Jeff’s was the only team not to break 100 pts this week, in large part because he inexplicably left a defense slot open this week (even though all the byes are over now) and started Larry Johnson despite his injury two weeks ago. For his return to late-season form, he gets the prize.

Worst performers, “All RBs” edition

Third Place: Antonio Pittman, -0.20 pts – sitting on the wire
Second Place: Dwanye Wright, 0.57 pts – sitting on the wire
First Place: Adimchinobi Echemandu, -1.80 pts – on the wire
          Jo actually thought about picking up Obi-Wan Mandu this week, but opted instead for Ron Dayne. I think his 13 pts might have been a better call.

Other things you may not know about the NL MVP

** Jimmy Rollins can also play MVP caliber basketball, football, Australian rules football, and Australian rules baseball, a game he just invented.
** Jimmy drove in four of the Phils seven post-season runs this year. He would have driven in more, but he was pissed about Adam Eaton too.
** After he won the award, Jimmy wanted to shake hands with runner-up Matt Holiday, so he ran to Denver between his 2:30 pm and 3 p.m. meetings in Philly.
** A-Rod got 27 of 29 first-place votes for AL MVP. The other two votes? They were for Jimmy.
** Jimmy's first name is only two letters away from "Philly." And his last name is zero letter away from awesome.
** On Tuesday, New York was officially renamed "Jimmy Rollins' bitch."

Stupidest thing I didn’t hear this week

          On the plane on Sunday, I started scrolling through FM stations to see if I could get any news of that dreadful Eagles game. I heard parts of the Baltimore/Cleveland game in the second quarter, a little of the Steelers game in the third, and the final five minutes of the Indianapolis/Kansas City game.
          As Adam Vinatieri lined up for a short field goal late to clinch the game, the KC announcers noted that he missed an identical attempt just a week earlier, and had already missed two in this game. Despite their efforts to jinx him, he hit it and the Colts won.
          In the 40 minutes of post-game that followed, the announcers repeated that anecdote and how the game ended six times, but never once gave a update of scores across the league.
          Granted, asking for a Miami-Philadelphia score was probably too much to ask for. But the duo kept talking about how the Chiefs loss might not hurt “because of what’s going on in those San Diego and Oakland games” but refused to give scores on those.
          The only update I did get? They announced that Cleveland lost to Baltimore on a last-second field goal attempt in regulation. So that was helpful.

Cowboys anagram insult of the week

          Remember those “Don’t Mess with Texas” signs? I figured out why they like them so much.
** We snots dim ah texts**
          I guess if we dimmed our writings too, we’d appreciate those kind of slogans more

Our standings so far

First Place: I Need Linebackers, Paul – A million billion points
Second Place: We Want Detmers, Jo – Less
Third Place: Giuliani's 2nd Wife – A little less than that
          Like I said, insurmountable.

For the record

** How many ways can A.J. Feeley screw the Dolphins? Remember we got a second round pick for him (who turned into Reggie Brown) and then got him back for nothing?
** Dad is up by a lot. Let’s just leave it at that for now.
** Don’t forget to set your lineups early this week – there are games on Thanksgiving, unlike Draftsgiving. I get confused sometimes too.
** Hey, if we’re short a QB this week I know a former Minnesota Viking who is available…


Anonymous said...

Yay, team Paul!

KidSmartyPants said...

How long is the fantasy season? Do we play all 17 weeks? It looks like we do but I didn't see anything in the league settings about an end date.

Joanna said...

Laub needs to be removed from the running. I'm pretty sure I've seen him on the Cowgirls sidelines with his fancy camera. I'm going to demand an investigation by the league.

Capt. Awesome said...

Paul -- the fantasy season is only 11 weeks long. We're all finished. So I'd go ahead and bench all your players and not tune back in until next year.

Yeah, totally.