Monday, June 11, 2007

Sopranos rewrite

Imagine if The Sopranos writers were in charge of finishing off other classics:
---------------------------------------------------
Footloose

McCormack hugs the other teens and walks over to the record player. He puts on Journey's “Escape” album and the sound of “Don’t Stop Believing” fills the auditorium.

McCormack: Let’s dance!

The teens triumphantly take to the dance floor and … fade to black.
---------------------------------------------------
Rocky

Balboa returns to his corner after round 14; his eyes are completely swollen shut, the cut on the side of his brow is still gushing. The ringside doctor wants to stop the fight, but the boxer ignores him.

Mickey: "You can throw in the towel, Rock. Nobody's gonna say ya didn't give ya all. You're just a city boy, born and raised in south detroit ... I mean Philly."

Rocky: "You ain't stopping nothing."


Balboa rises to his feet amid the thundering applause. He walks to the center of the ring for the start of the final round and ... fade to black.
---------------------------------------------------
JFK's inaugaration

The 35th president of the U.S. appears on the steps of the Capitol.

"I do not shrink from this responsibility -- I welcome it. I do not believe that any of us would exchange places with any other people or any other generation.

“Don't stop believing, my friends. Hold on to that feeling. The energy, the faith, the devotion which we bring to this endeavor will light our country and all who serve it.

“And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you..."


Then he walks off the stage.
---------------------------------------------------
Seinfeld

Pretty much the same ending, actually.
---------------------------------------------------
Raiders of the Lost Ark

Belloq recites an ancient Jewish prayer and begins to remove the cover of the ark. The Nazis stand at attention, cherishing the moment of victory.

Indy: Marion! Cover your eyes!

Marion: What?

Indy: Cover your eyes! Some will win, some will lose, some were born to sing the blues!

Belloq peers down into the uncovered relic and sees … the closing credits.

1 comment:

KidSmartyPants said...

Ha ha!

Love the Footloose and Rocky endings best. When are we going to see them on YouTube, Cap?