Sunday’s last-minute Eagles victory over the Titans was the first win for the birds in Tennessee ever, and the first against the Titans/Oilers franchise since 1991. But it was hardly the only milestone of significance in the win:
** That game-winning score with less than 10 seconds left was WR Darius Cooper’s first NFL touchdown catch. The wideout from Tarleton State made the team last year despite being an undrafted rookie.
** The Eagles opened the game with three drives of 10 plays or more, the first time they have accomplished that level of sustained offense in the 21st century.
** Rookie WR Makai Lemon had his first game with positive yards on Sunday. His 14 yards on a single catch in the first half was a marked improvement from his three catches for -5 yds in his debut last week. He did, however, have one rush for -5 yards, so you still have more NFL rushing yds than him.
** Nick Sirianni is now 6-0 in season openers and 6-0 in road openers in his head coaching career, despite being the worst coach in NFL history, according to outside pundits.
** QB Jalen Hurts passed Carson Wentz for fourth place all-time in Eagles history in completions and passing touchdowns. He also set the franchise record for the number of times he made fans scream, “why can’t you play like that every week?!?!”
** WR DeVonta Smith became the first player in league history to detach his ankles multiple times in a game to secure those toe-tap catches along the sideline, two of which directly helped win the game. He’s not skinny Batman anymore, he’s Mr. Fantastic with all the super stretching powers.
WR: Jaxon Smith-Njigba, 32.83 pts — started by Bob
RB: Jonathan Taylor, 25.87 pts — started by Mike
TE: Travis Kelce, 17.23 pts — started by Jo
K: Harrison Butker, 17.00 pts — on the wire
DEF: Carolina, 28.00 pts — on the wire
D: Devin Lloyd, 17.00 pts — on the wire
JSN has already collected 277 receiving yards and four TDs, which puts him on pace for 2,354 yds (breaking the record by almost 400 yds) and 34 scores (breaking the record by 11 TDs). But it should be noted that most of his stats came against the Cardinals, whose defense is roughly the same as playing against real-life cardinals.
Josh Allen is by far the top fantasy scorer thus far, with 86.48 pts. Second on that list? Undrafted (in fantasy) Panthers QB Bryce Young, who is tied for the league lead with six TD passes. We haven’t seen a Panthers QB reliably atop the fantasy scoring chart since Cam Newton played back in 1897. And their defense is a top pick too? Now we’re in crazytown.
WR DeVonta Smith was not among the week’s top fantasy scorers, posting only 19.30 pts. But it should be noted that only 18.80 came from his offensive play — he also got half a point for a tackle on one of Hurts’ interceptions. That guy really did everything Sunday.
“QB trouble” edition4th place: Jack Strand, -0.04 pts — on the wire
3rd place: Mac Jones, -0.20 pts — on the wire
2nd place: Kenny Pickett, -0.40 pts — on the wire
1st place: Cooper Rush, -0.56 pts — on the wire
Forget Jones and Pickett: Both are former starting QBs who came in for kneel-down duty at the end of their team’s wins. The others…
Rush, who started for the Falcons on Sunday, went 10 of 17 passes for 86 yards with two interceptions before getting benched in the third quarter. That’s a 32.6 QB rating, seven points worse than what you got on Sunday (zero yards, zero TDs, zero INTs = 39.6 rating). It’s incredibly hard to play for more than a quarter as a professional QB and end up with less than zero fantasy points, but Rush was up to the challenge.
And why did we have four worst performers this week? Strand was Rush’s replacement. He went 8 for 15 for 59 yds but only threw one interception, which was a 35.1 QB rating (also worse than you). But his one pick was returned for a 69-yard TD, so that feels more painful.
In summary, you were a better quarterback than all the Atlanta signal callers this week.
For the record, the Dolphins defense was worth -6.00 pts, the worst possible score.
** At the start of the third quarter in the Eagles/Titans game, Fox analyst Drew Brees praised the Philly offense for its efficiency in the first two quarters. “The Eagles have played this first half almost to perfection, except for that one interception,” he stated.
That “one interception” was a 92-yard return for S Amani Hooker that led to the Titans first TD and resulted in a 14-point swing in the game. It’s sort of like saying that 2020 was a great year, except for that one virus thing. Or that Attack of the Clones was an Oscar-worthy movie, except for that Jar-Jar thing. Kinda hard to overlook that one glaring issue.
** After the Browns’ upset win in Tampa on Sunday, Cleveland Coach Todd Monken lashed out angrily at former coach turned commentator Mike Tomlin, who said “The Browns are gonna Browns” after their opening-week loss. “F*** that!” he yelled at reporters during the post-game press conference.
My friend, the Browns have finished with a losing record 20 times in the last 23 years. Cleveland has played in its current stadium since 1999 and has never hosted a playoff game there. Sunday was the team’s ninth win in the last three seasons combined. Maybe string together a couple of victories before you pull out the righteous indignation.
** The Detroit Tigers this week will play their last game in Comerica Park, because next year the site is being renamed for the company which bought out the financial services firm. So welcome in Fifth Third Stadium (rechristened for the unfortunately named Fifth Third Bank), which is somehow not the fifth nor third ballpark in Detroit history, but in fact the fourth.
Can’t wait to hear what the announcers do when the second batter in the seventh inning comes to the plate at good old Fifth Third.
** Bills QB Josh Allen has scored nine TDs (five passing, four rushing) through two games, putting him on pace for 76 TDs on the year. That would shatter the mark of 56 set by Broncos QB Peyton Manning in 2013.
** Lions WR Amon-Ra St. Brown has 19 catches through two games, putting him on pace for 161 this season. That would shatter the record of 149 receptions set by Saints WR Michael Thomas in 2019.
** QB Baker Mayfield has three fumblers through two games, putting him on pace for 25 fumbles lost this year. That would break the record of 23 set by former Giants QB Kerry Collins in 2001.
** Bills DE Greg Rousseau has four sacks through two games, putting him on pace for 34 this season. That would break the record of 23 set by Browns DE Myles Garrett last season, and it could actually matter too, unlike Garrett’s worthless sacks on a 5-12 team.
** Chargers QB Justin Herbert, who is consistently ranked above Eagles QB Jalen Hurts in every pundit list of the best NFL passers, is 0-2 after two upset losses and is on pace never to win again in his career. He still trails Hurts in playoff victories, as the Eagles QB has six and Herbet has zero.
** Dallas won on Sunday, so they are on pace to be as insufferable as ever.
Dallas used its first-round pick in the 2026 draft to land defensive back Caleb Downs, who they hoped would bring new energy to the team’s defense. And through two weeks, that defensive unit is … still bad, but at least they got lucky when Washington killed its own QB this week. But Downs was destined to be a disappointment to anyone who just looked a little closer at what the letters in his name clearly spell out:
Dallas’ first-round pick: Safety Caleb Downs
** Dude blows. Lacks fire, can’t play, is soft. Darn.
Remember, you can’t spell “Caleb Downs” without “based clown.” And you can’t spell Dallas without two big Ls.
** Dad went 2-1 against me this week, but he insisted that his upset pick of the Commanders over the Cowboys would be worth two points. So that means instead of him being up one, we’re even on the season right now, I guess.
** Commanders QB Jayden Daniels goes down with an injury on Sunday. Giants QB Jaxson Dart goes down with an injury on Monday. Somebody put Hurts in bubble wrap for the week. Don’t worry about Dak Prescott, I’m sure he’ll be fine.
** I’m unhappy with most of my fantasy football teams, but I won my fantasy baseball league for the second year in a row. So, go baseball.
Family Cup — Week 2 standings
House Doyle: 4-2
House Garrity: 3-3
House Shane: 3-3
House Quinn: 2-4
Last year it took Emma until week six to get her first win. This year, she already hit that mark with an upset of Ollie’s team. But it didn’t help with the family standings as Shelly destroyed Jonathan’s team (150.56 to 102.68) and Mike beat up on Pop’s team. Two teams remain undefeated (Mike and Shane) while two remain winless (Grandmom and Tommy). Welcome to the mediocrity that the NFL coverts so much.
Awesome Cup — Week 2 standings
1 — Center City Brownout (Capt. Awesome), 255.32 pts
2 — DeVonta’s Inferno (Grandmom D), 252.57 pts
3 — Death by Chickens (Jonathan), 242.69 pts
4 — Vert der Ferks (Ant), 236.45 pts
5 — It's a Real Saquondary (Bob), 233.78 pts
6 — Intravenous de Milo (Mike), 233.70 pts
7 — No Lemon Drops (Pop), 230.25 pts
8 — Zeus the Fluffy (Jo), 220.45 pts
9 — All Rogers No Sauce (Joel), 204.38 pts
10 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 178.31 pts
Only 35 pts separate first place from eighth (and only 9 pts from fifth to third, if you prefer those two random numbers together), so no one is dominating this season yet. I managed to hold onto the top spot by less than a FG, even though my team failed to top the 100-pts mark in its second week of action. Mom D, on the other hand, dominated the week with 140.17 pts, thanks to 29.50 pts from WR Davante Adams on Monday night. Imagine what her team will look like when TE Brock Bowers finally returns from the dead.
Speaking of zombies, the Eagles don’t play until Monday night, when they face the remains of the Bears. Falcons/Packers is the Thursday night contest. The rest of the slate is set for Sunday, but get those rosters set early and often, who knows when the NFL may decide to move up some games to another day.
** QB Baker Mayfield has three fumblers through two games, putting him on pace for 25 fumbles lost this year. That would break the record of 23 set by former Giants QB Kerry Collins in 2001.
** Bills DE Greg Rousseau has four sacks through two games, putting him on pace for 34 this season. That would break the record of 23 set by Browns DE Myles Garrett last season, and it could actually matter too, unlike Garrett’s worthless sacks on a 5-12 team.
** Chargers QB Justin Herbert, who is consistently ranked above Eagles QB Jalen Hurts in every pundit list of the best NFL passers, is 0-2 after two upset losses and is on pace never to win again in his career. He still trails Hurts in playoff victories, as the Eagles QB has six and Herbet has zero.
** Dallas won on Sunday, so they are on pace to be as insufferable as ever.
Dallas used its first-round pick in the 2026 draft to land defensive back Caleb Downs, who they hoped would bring new energy to the team’s defense. And through two weeks, that defensive unit is … still bad, but at least they got lucky when Washington killed its own QB this week. But Downs was destined to be a disappointment to anyone who just looked a little closer at what the letters in his name clearly spell out: Dallas’ first-round pick: Safety Caleb Downs
** Dude blows. Lacks fire, can’t play, is soft. Darn.
Remember, you can’t spell “Caleb Downs” without “based clown.” And you can’t spell Dallas without two big Ls.
** Dad went 2-1 against me this week, but he insisted that his upset pick of the Commanders over the Cowboys would be worth two points. So that means instead of him being up one, we’re even on the season right now, I guess. ** Commanders QB Jayden Daniels goes down with an injury on Sunday. Giants QB Jaxson Dart goes down with an injury on Monday. Somebody put Hurts in bubble wrap for the week. Don’t worry about Dak Prescott, I’m sure he’ll be fine.
** I’m unhappy with most of my fantasy football teams, but I won my fantasy baseball league for the second year in a row. So, go baseball.
Family Cup — Week 2 standings
House Doyle: 4-2
House Garrity: 3-3
House Shane: 3-3
House Quinn: 2-4
Last year it took Emma until week six to get her first win. This year, she already hit that mark with an upset of Ollie’s team. But it didn’t help with the family standings as Shelly destroyed Jonathan’s team (150.56 to 102.68) and Mike beat up on Pop’s team. Two teams remain undefeated (Mike and Shane) while two remain winless (Grandmom and Tommy). Welcome to the mediocrity that the NFL coverts so much.
Awesome Cup — Week 2 standings
1 — Center City Brownout (Capt. Awesome), 255.32 pts
2 — DeVonta’s Inferno (Grandmom D), 252.57 pts
3 — Death by Chickens (Jonathan), 242.69 pts
4 — Vert der Ferks (Ant), 236.45 pts
5 — It's a Real Saquondary (Bob), 233.78 pts
6 — Intravenous de Milo (Mike), 233.70 pts
7 — No Lemon Drops (Pop), 230.25 pts
8 — Zeus the Fluffy (Jo), 220.45 pts
9 — All Rogers No Sauce (Joel), 204.38 pts
10 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 178.31 pts
Only 35 pts separate first place from eighth (and only 9 pts from fifth to third, if you prefer those two random numbers together), so no one is dominating this season yet. I managed to hold onto the top spot by less than a FG, even though my team failed to top the 100-pts mark in its second week of action. Mom D, on the other hand, dominated the week with 140.17 pts, thanks to 29.50 pts from WR Davante Adams on Monday night. Imagine what her team will look like when TE Brock Bowers finally returns from the dead.
Speaking of zombies, the Eagles don’t play until Monday night, when they face the remains of the Bears. Falcons/Packers is the Thursday night contest. The rest of the slate is set for Sunday, but get those rosters set early and often, who knows when the NFL may decide to move up some games to another day.
No comments:
Post a Comment