— RB Miles Sanders’ gameday cleats: They’re barely used, since the team has only called rushing plays for him nine times in the last two games.
— Game-used penalty flags: The Eagles have a ton to hand out. They’re averaging 11 a game, and have 10 more on the season than the next closest team.
— DT Fletcher Cox’ shoulderpads: Again, barely used. He has three tackles and zero QB hits in four games.
— “Beat Dallas” T-shirts: Coach Nick Sirianni wore one before the Cowboys game and actually ordered several thousand, but the team now realizes they won’t be able to wear them in public until 2024 at the earliest.
— WR J.J. Arcega-Whiteside: Someone please take him away already.
— Hopes and dreams: The front office decided to get rid of these ahead of the upcoming loss to the Panthers, to make next Sunday go a little faster.
WR: Tyreek Hill, 35.90 pts — started by Jonathan
RB: Cordarrelle Patterson, 30.93 pts — started by me
TE: C.J. Uzomah, 20.83 pts — on the wire
K: Tyler Bass, 16.00 pts — on the wire
DEF: Buffalo, 28.00 pts — started by Mike
D: T.J. Watt, 7.50 pts — on Joanna’s bench
Another week, another set of top performers who played against the Eagles. Last week it was the top RB and TE, this week it’s Mahomes and Hill, who combined for 11 catches for 186 yds and 3 TDs. Not surprisingly, the Eagles Defense (-3.00 pts) was not among the top performers this week.
Buffalo, on the other hand, scored its second shutout of the season on Sunday. Sure, they came against the Dolphins and Texans, but the Bills still have two games left this year against the Jets, so ...
“Davis Mills” edition3rd place: JJ Taylor, -1.00 pts — on the wire
2nd place: Jakeem Grant, -1.71 pts — on the wire
1st place: Davis Mills, -4.32 pts on the wire
Ten different skill position players and six defenses scored negative points this week, which is probably a record of some sort, but I just don’t have the patience to go back and figure it out.
Mills, the starting QB for the aforementioned Texans, had a pretty bad day on Sunday. He ended up 11 of 21 passing for 87 yards and four interceptions, which gave him a QB rating of just 23.4 (reminder, your QB rating on Sunday of zero completions and zero interceptions was 39.6). The Texans just barely had more offensive yards on the day (109) than penalty yards (10 penalties for 100 yds) and managed a turnover on six of their 11 drives on the day (one on downs, one on a fumble). That doesn’t include another drive where Mills hopped on a teammate’s fumble to avoid another turnover.
The Texans are not a good team. And yet, they still have a better record than the Jaguars or the Lions.
** Headline on ESPN.com on Friday ahead of Tom Brady’s return to New England for the first time since joining the Bucs: “Brady vs. the Patriots evokes memories of Bryce Harper’s first visit to Washington, D.C.”
No.
One of those two won six Super Bowl rings with a franchise and redefined their place in sports. The other never won a playoff series with his first team and then left before they won a championship. Nick Foles return to Philadelphia (next year, as the new starting QB for the Washington Football team probably) is more comparable than Mr. $330 million over here.
** Speaking of Brady, when he broke the all-time passing yards mark on Sunday night, the NBC crew and NFL acknowledged it by … mentioning the record as the next play was being called. That’s it.
** Speaking of Brady, when he broke the all-time passing yards mark on Sunday night, the NBC crew and NFL acknowledged it by … mentioning the record as the next play was being called. That’s it.
When Drew Brees broke the mark at home a few years back, the entire league shut down for 10 minutes so he could take a victory lap around the stadium and the network announcers could cry tears of joy.
But that didn’t happen Sunday since Brady wasn’t playing at home, but in … New England, where he threw only about 94 percent of those yards. Why would fans in stadium there want to acknowledge him at all?
** From the Washington Post’s preview today of the MLB postseason: “These playoffs, which begin Tuesday night in Boston, look very little like anyone expected they would in March.”
** From the Washington Post’s preview today of the MLB postseason: “These playoffs, which begin Tuesday night in Boston, look very little like anyone expected they would in March.”
That starts with the San Francisco Giants, predicted by many to finish third in their division. Instead, they won 107 games and now enter the postseason as the favorites.
The Boston Red Sox were seen as a fringe playoff contender and landed the final AL wild card spot. Meanwhile, the Dodgers, Braves, Yankees, Brewers, Cardinals, White Sox, and Astros were picked by most to win their divisions or get a wild card spot. The Tampa Bay Rays were in the World Series last year and won their division this year.
So that’s maybe two surprises out of 10 playoff teams? Not sure that counts as looking completely different from what anybody expected in March. But I guess “this year’s postseason has two and only two surprises” is a tougher headline to build around.
NFL fans were left confused Monday night after the Raiders-Chargers contest at SoFi Stadium was delayed by lightning in the Los Angeles area. On the ESPN broadcast, Raiders coach Jon Gruden could be seen clearly standing on the sideline asking the refs “isn’t this a dome?”
It is, in fact, a dome, but portions of the upper level are open air, leading to concerns that lightning could enter the stadium (sideways, I guess?). But this isn’t the first time that the NFL has been over cautious when it comes to the safety of staff and fans. Consider:
— To ensure that senior citizen QB Tom Brady is protected from cheap shots on the field, defensive players are not allowed to sneeze in his direction or look directly at him while he is holding the ball.
— To ensure that senior citizen QB Tom Brady is protected from cheap shots on the field, defensive players are not allowed to sneeze in his direction or look directly at him while he is holding the ball.
— The NFL has required ESPN to label its alternate broadcast of Monday Night Football games “TV-MA” so that parents don’t accidentally let children watch Eli Manning’s dumb face.
— For fans who are easily triggered by traumatic images, the league is developing invisible uniforms to cover up the Detroit Lions’ players on the field.
— Given the recent outbreak of wildfires near several of the NFL’s West Coast stadiums, league officials adopted a new policy that says players can be substituted at any time if their uniform catches on fire.
— Per NFL rules, teams will no longer play the national anthem at the start of games and instead will sing “Safety Dance” by Men Without Hats.
— When the NFL learned of the risks of brain damage to players from concussions and repeated hits to the head, they immediately began to pretend to deal with it without making any real changes that might jeopardize their ad money.
I usually try to focus each week on the vile inner nature of the Cowboys players, how their souls have turned black and their moral center decayed. But it is worth noting from time to time that the ugliness of the team on the outside as well. Consider:
Safety Malik Hooker
** I hate my freak looks
Cowboys LB Luke Gifford
** Block words off: I be ugly
Defensive tackle Osa Odighizuwa
** Gaze, kids: I feel vacant, hideous. Ow!
When you’re watching the Cowboys next week, try to remember not to look directly at them, lest you turn to stone. Watch your TV through a mirror or wear sunglasses to be safe.
** I won two of three to Dad this week, which leaves me at three up over Dad for our picks for the year. Excluding the last three Eagles games, I’m at 41-20 so far picking the game straight up, which again makes me wonder why I don’t gamble more often.
** If we’re being honest, the league would be a lot more fun if they played “Safety Dance” at the start of each game.
** The Phillies did play October baseball this year. It was just three regular season games instead of the playoffs we hoped for. But, technically...
Week 4 standings
1 — This Is Fine (Bob), 556.62 pts
2 — Murder Hornets (Mike), 539.69 pts
3 — QB Carousel (Jo), 518.25 pts
4 — Ouch! It Hurts (Mom D), 511.53 pts
5 — Came and Wentz (Capt. Awesome), 496.88 pts
6 — Honey Bunches of Goats (Jonathan), 488.59 pts
7 — Kneel Armstrong (Sam), 465.67 pts
8 — Not That Four Seasons (Ant), 464.96 pts
9 — Patriots Secret Cam (Joel), 458.10 pts
10 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 423.89 pts
11 — It's All Hurts (Dad), 398.28 pts
12 — Clever Team Name (Paul), 352.61 pts
Another set of big weeks from Bob and Mike put them atop the standings, leaving Joanna’s Eagles-heavy squad a distant third. Jonathan had a 140-plus pts performance too, so he closes the gap for bragging rights among the men at Fort Awesome. I can’t help but think how much better my score would have looked if my kicker didn’t get injured a few minutes before the start of his game…
On the other end of the spectrum, Paul started three injured players and a defense that scored -3.00 pts, so I think it is fair to say he has checked out for the season already.
Good news for fantasy fans — not only do you have to worry about a relevant Thursday night contest (Rams at Seahawks) but there is also a too-early 930am contest between the Jets and Falcons in London. Jet lagged football between two of the worst squads in the league? Sign me up!
— For fans who are easily triggered by traumatic images, the league is developing invisible uniforms to cover up the Detroit Lions’ players on the field.
— Given the recent outbreak of wildfires near several of the NFL’s West Coast stadiums, league officials adopted a new policy that says players can be substituted at any time if their uniform catches on fire.
— Per NFL rules, teams will no longer play the national anthem at the start of games and instead will sing “Safety Dance” by Men Without Hats.
— When the NFL learned of the risks of brain damage to players from concussions and repeated hits to the head, they immediately began to pretend to deal with it without making any real changes that might jeopardize their ad money.
I usually try to focus each week on the vile inner nature of the Cowboys players, how their souls have turned black and their moral center decayed. But it is worth noting from time to time that the ugliness of the team on the outside as well. Consider: Safety Malik Hooker
** I hate my freak looks
Cowboys LB Luke Gifford
** Block words off: I be ugly
Defensive tackle Osa Odighizuwa
** Gaze, kids: I feel vacant, hideous. Ow!
When you’re watching the Cowboys next week, try to remember not to look directly at them, lest you turn to stone. Watch your TV through a mirror or wear sunglasses to be safe.
** I won two of three to Dad this week, which leaves me at three up over Dad for our picks for the year. Excluding the last three Eagles games, I’m at 41-20 so far picking the game straight up, which again makes me wonder why I don’t gamble more often. ** If we’re being honest, the league would be a lot more fun if they played “Safety Dance” at the start of each game.
** The Phillies did play October baseball this year. It was just three regular season games instead of the playoffs we hoped for. But, technically...
Week 4 standings
1 — This Is Fine (Bob), 556.62 pts
2 — Murder Hornets (Mike), 539.69 pts
3 — QB Carousel (Jo), 518.25 pts
4 — Ouch! It Hurts (Mom D), 511.53 pts
5 — Came and Wentz (Capt. Awesome), 496.88 pts
6 — Honey Bunches of Goats (Jonathan), 488.59 pts
7 — Kneel Armstrong (Sam), 465.67 pts
8 — Not That Four Seasons (Ant), 464.96 pts
9 — Patriots Secret Cam (Joel), 458.10 pts
10 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 423.89 pts
11 — It's All Hurts (Dad), 398.28 pts
12 — Clever Team Name (Paul), 352.61 pts
Another set of big weeks from Bob and Mike put them atop the standings, leaving Joanna’s Eagles-heavy squad a distant third. Jonathan had a 140-plus pts performance too, so he closes the gap for bragging rights among the men at Fort Awesome. I can’t help but think how much better my score would have looked if my kicker didn’t get injured a few minutes before the start of his game…
On the other end of the spectrum, Paul started three injured players and a defense that scored -3.00 pts, so I think it is fair to say he has checked out for the season already.
Good news for fantasy fans — not only do you have to worry about a relevant Thursday night contest (Rams at Seahawks) but there is also a too-early 930am contest between the Jets and Falcons in London. Jet lagged football between two of the worst squads in the league? Sign me up!
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