** The Browns lost in overtime against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on a 59-yard FG after the Cleveland punt returner fumbled moments earlier. The loss dropped the Browns to 0-3-1 in overtime games this season alone. That a lot of late anguish.
** The Cowboys scored a TD with three minutes left in their game to pull within three points of the Maryland Racial Slurs, then got the ball back and sped down to the 28-yard line to attempt a game-tying FG. Then they took a false-start penalty and hit the upright with their 52-yard kick … that absolutely would have been good from five yards closer.
** The Bears, down seven points to the Patriots, completed a 54-yard pass on the final play of the game. Unfortunately, they were 55 yards from the end zone. The game ended with WR Kevin White tackled a few inches short of the game-tying score.
** The Ravens, down seven points, drove 81 yards in less than two minutes in the fourth quarter to tie their game against the Saints … or, it would have been tied, if K Justin Tucker hadn’t missed the first extra point of his career, giving Baltimore a one-point loss.
** The Falcons played the Giants Monday night, and entering the fourth quarter they weren’t leading by 70 pts. That’s a hard ending to watch, because the Giants are garbage, and should not be on the field with a real, professional football team.
WR: Emmanuel Sanders, 22.92 pts — started by Jim
RB: Kareem Hunt, 32.77 pts — started by Mom D
TE: Trey Burton, 18.90 pts — started by me
K: Matt Prater, 16.00 pts — started by Bob
DEF: Denver, 33.00 pts — on the wire
D: Cory Littleton, 18.00 pts — on the wire
It’s always the defenses.
Interrupting this week’s edition of “how many Chiefs can make the top player list” is the QB of the one and only Philly Special, Mr. Trey Burton, now the #1 TE for the Bears. He had his best game of the year by far on Sunday, racking up nine catches for 126 yds and a TD against those pesky Patriots again. Apparently, dude should play them every week.
Also Pat Mahomes is currently worth 46 more fantasy pts than the second highest scoring player in the league and is on pace for 51 TDs on the season blah blah blah.
“Players you know” edition
3rd place: Jacoby Brissett, -0.40 pts — on the wire
2nd place: Matt Breida, -0.50 pts — started by Paul
1st place: Derek Anderson, -1.00 pts — on the wire
Breida won a tight race for the title of “fantasy team killer” this week, barely edging out Melvin Gordon, who was a late scratch for the 9:30 am game, leaving tens of thousands of fantasy owners with an unexpected goose egg when they woke up. But the San Fran RB did him one better, actually taking pts away from owners who started him, thanks to a fumble and five carries before getting injured.
For the record, I started them both in one of my pay leagues. No, I’m not bitter. Why do you ask?
Special shout out to Cardinals QB Josh Rosen, who was barley worth positive points and threw more TDs to his opponents (two INTs returned for scores) than his own team (one TD to the ageless WR Larry Fitzgerald). It didn’t quite work out to a better reverse QB rating than his actual QB rating, much to my disappointment. But I still wanted to ridicule him.
** From the Washington Post college football preview on Saturday: “College GameDay makes its first stop in Pullman (Washington) … It was big enough news that Washington State QB Gardner Minshew and his teammates momentarily halted a competitive pumpkin carving contest when they heard the announcement.” I have a lot of questions. How does that work? Are points awarded for speed? Is it smart to encourage professional athletes to work quickly with knives? Did they return to the contest after celebrating the TV news? What happened to the pumpkins afterwards? And was one of the coaches fired over this nonsense? Because if not, they should have been.
** Erin Andrews grabbed Maryland Racial Slurs RB Adrian Peterson after his team’s big win over the Cowboys to get his reaction. Her first question: “Adrian, what was it like to play in your first NFC East rivalry game?”
Look, I love me some NFC East love. But Adrian Peterson played in a few dozen games for the Vikings against the Bears and the Packers. Those aren’t minor rivalries. I understand that everyone in sports media thinks the Cowboys are the pinnacle of everything, even though they’ve only won one playoff game in the last 20 years, but this is just another important division game for Peterson. It’s not like his first playoff win or Super Bowl appearance.
Incidentally, he won’t get a playoff win or a Super Bowl appearance this year either.
** ESPN headline on Sunday night: “Eagles' late meltdown could come back to bite them”
Thank you for that insightful analysis. I thought blowing a 17-point lead would be good for this team long-term, but after reading the article, I realized that being 3-4 might not be good news.
The Eagles will square off against the Jacksonville Jaguars, who have played a game in London every year since 2013, giving them a distinct home field advantage. But the birds have been working hard this week to understand the differences between football stateside and football across the pond to make sure they are prepared for the contest. Their prep includes:
** To deal with the language differences, coaches are explaining that that in London a “lift” is an elevator, a “boot” is a car’s trunk, and “roughing the passer” is still whatever the refs feel like it means at that moment.
** Since the Brits drive on the other side of the road, the Eagles are experimenting with sending RB Wendell Smallwood up the left side of the field to get tackled for a loss instead of up the right side.
** To better match local customs, all yard lines have been converted to meter lines and the Eagles offense has been perfecting their “1st and 9.144” drills.
** Taking a page from soccer, K Jake Elliot is planning on kicking more balls in between the uprights instead of on the outside.
** To cope with the jet lag from the long flight, the Eagles defense is planning to take a nap for the entire fourth quarter, just like they did last week.
As I mentioned earlier, Dallas suffered its own backbreaking loss on Sunday, thanks to a controversial snap procedure penalty on longtime long snapper L.P. Ladouceur. After the game, he was despondent over the call, noting it was the first time in his 14-year career he had ever seen refs step in this way. But who was he really upset at: the refs, or himself? Just look at what the letters say:
Penalty on LS Louis-Philippe “L.P.” Ladouceur
** I spun thou ill. Dope play calls ruin people, I pout
Hey, wanna feel old? This is the second time that I’ve done an anagram on Ladouceur. The other time was a decade ago. Seriously. This bit has been happening long enough to be in middle school.
Also, now that you clicked on that, please never look back in the archives again. That was … a different time.
** If you haven’t seen this Delaware kick return TD yet this week, you ain’t paying enough attention to real football. ** Dad and I split this week, so I remain seven games back. Thank you again Justin Tucker for missing that extra point, or I could have been down nine.
** Just a friendly reminder that no matter how hard this current Eagles team fails, last year still counts and Nick Foles will still be a Super Bowl MVP.
Week 7 standings 1 — Nick 'MVP' Foles (Capt. Awesome), 970.89 pts
2 — For Who? For Wentz? (Ant), 925.55 pts
3 — Philly Special (Jo), 857.07 pts
4 — Witch Hunting (Jim), 840.19 pts
5 — Kneel Armstrong (Sam), 839.42 pts
6 — We Love the Mud (Mom D), 829.32 pts
7 — I Can Haz Igglez (Paul), 826.14 pts
8 — The Garoppolo Gamble (Joel), 798.14 pts
9 — Last Exit 2 Kutztown (Bob), 779.39 pts
10 — Kiss A Fish Today (Dad), 740.35 pts
11 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 722.75 pts
12 — SweatpantsEnthusiast (Mike), 687.44 pts
Welcome back to Mom D, who has pulled herself all the way up from last place to the top half of the standings. But it’s still a long climb up to the top.
In fact, it’s getting a little longer for most of the league. Ant and I are turning this season into a two-team race, and he still has an extra week of Patrick Mahomes pts to catch up to where I am. Paul continues to be strong with the name game and weak with the fantasy game. And Mike is still in the league.
Next week is the halfway point of the season, when we start eliminating a team each week in a violent, televised deathmatch to eventually purge of all the unworthy coaches from the presence of the eventual, pure champion. Or we’ll just keep the same scoring and go nine more weeks. Tune in next Tuesday and we’ll see which one we decided upon.
1 comment:
My team definitely defecated in their sleeping spaces this week. Ugh. Hopefully next week will be better.
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