Fantasy football recap, week 7

---- Top performers
QB: Peyton Manning, 37.58 points -- started by Mike
RB: Brian Westbrook, 30.63 points -- started by Neal
WR: Hines Ward, 37.40 points -- started by Jo
TE: Alge Crumpler, 31.80 points -- started by Jeff
K: Matt Bryant, 14.00 points -- sittin' on the waiver wire
DEF: Giants, 27.00 points -- started by Anthony
          Dear gawd, those are some high individual performances. And that doesn't even include Mike Freakin' Vick (34.35 points) or Donovan "Pukey" McNabb (31.68 points) or Larry "No nickname given" Johnson (29.13 points).

---- Worst performers, everybody included edition
Third place (tie): Najeh Davenport, -0.10 points -- sittin' on the waiver wire
Third place (tie): Marcel Shipp, -0.10 points -- sittin' on the waiver wire
Second place: Seneca Wallace, -0.54 points -- sittin' on the waiver wire
First place: Pittsburgh, -1.00 points -- started by Joanna
          Hmmm... Jo had the worst player and the best score. That’s not fair.

---- The Andy Reid blown call of the week
          OK, fine -- I get the award this week. I left 22 points on my bench, the worst in the league for the third week in a row, and even managed to leave another 17 points on Joanna's bench when I set her roster at the last minute on Sunday.
          So, since there's no one else who performed as poorly, I've got no choice but to give myself ... wait a second ... is that Ronde Barber running back another McNabb interception for a touchdown?
          Nevermind. McNabb earned the blown call honors. The Don bails me out with his worst day of the season (which is still better than most of Eli's starts so far ... I'm just saying ...)
          Honorable mention goes to Jeff, yet again, who left 18 points on his bench and refused to pick up a WR to fill his empty roster spot this week.

---- Who is throwing for touchdowns this week?
*** Vikings RB MeWelde Moore had as many TD passes in Sunday’s game against the Seahawks as Seattle QBs Matt Hasselback and Seneca Wallace combined (one).
*** Chargers RB LaDanian Tomlinson had as many touchdown passes on Sunday against the Chiefs (one) as division rival QB Jake Plummer had in the Broncos game against the Browns.
*** Hotlanta QB Mike Vick threw four TD passes against the Steelers on Sunday. In his previous 10 games, he threw six.

---- Stupidest thing I heard this week
          I thought Brian Baldinger had this wrapped up early in the weekend when I heard him call a bruising Cadillac Williams sprint through five defenders "The picture definition of a downhill run."
          No, Brian, the picture definition of a downhill run would be someone running down a hill. That was the figurative definition at best.
          But on Tuesday morning I heard Stuart Scott say that Dallas QBs Drew Bledsoe and Tony Romo are prone to throwing bad interceptions (you think?!?!) but that Romo was a better QB because he has more mobility and "can run down guys after he turns the ball over."
          I can only assume he was joking, but he didn't have that haughty Stuart Scott voice turned on, so I really don't know. Either way it's slowly breaking down brain cells in my head today.

---- Most painful thing I read this week
          From the Philly Daily News' Les Bowen:
          "Eagles statisticians could not immediately say where Ronde Barber now ranks among McNabb's all-time favorite receivers, but we know he's caught more McNabb passes for touchdowns than Billy McMullen ever did."
          I know you've gotta rip McNabb, but do we have to talk about Billy McMullen? Am I gonna get a Mike Mamula and Na Brown lecture next?

---- College football update
*** At 10 pm Sunday I was watching two sporting events: the Tigers/Cardinals World Series game (in the 6th inning) and the Cincinnati/South Florida football game (in the third quarter). At the time, the score to both was 2-0. That ain't right.
*** The Division III Springfield Pride beat St. John Fisher College 55-38 behind QB Chris Sharpe's 280 rushing yards and seven -- count 'em, SEVEN -- rushing touchdowns on Saturday. Springfield had 493 rushing yards total in the game.
          What makes this hilarious is Sharpe's passing stats: two attempts, one completion, 41 yards. How did the second one fall incomplete? Was Fisher College actually defending the pass at some point? And who was back far enough in the secondary to make the tackle on the pass completion?
*** Temple broke that elusive 20-point mark in their 43-21 loss on Saturday. It's the most points they've scored during their nation-leading 20-game losing streak. So far this year they've been outscored 351 to 71, and over their losing streak they're surrendering more than 44 points a game.

---- Cowboys anagram insult of the week
          Monday night the Cowboys had a chance to take over first in the NFC East with a win, but "Dallas Cowboys backup right tackle Jason Fabini" knew that wasn't going to happen:
*** First? A bucolic wish, joke. Pagan cabal knots badly. ***
          If you saw the Dallas secondary trying to defend WR Plexiglass Burgess during the game, you'd agree that pagan cabal does knot badly when the game is on the line.
          Yeah, I had to look up "bucolic" too. It sorta fits.

---- Our standings so far
First place: JapanUSRelations, Ant -- 970.10 points
Second place: The War on Terrell, Mike -- 906.94 points
Third place: HoF Bus Drivers, Joanna -- 906.35 points
          What the heck happened? All three of these folks posted 170-plus point weeks to jump ahead in the standings, and Heidi -- yes, that Heidi -- scored the lowest this week and dropped all the way to sixth.
          Anthony has taken over first by a wide margin, but there is no pride in it because he's using the Giants and Cowboys defenses to get ahead. Traitor. At least my floundering in ninth place is noble.

---- For the record
*** Professional column number three is up here.
*** Just in case you haven’t heard me say it yet: The Eagles are 0-3 over the last four years in games played in South Florida. And in all three games, Donovan has puked on the field.
         As I keep saying, Philly’s entire conditioning staff should be shot, then burned at the stake, then have their ashes fired by cannon into New Jersey.
*** Best moment of a bad, bad football weekend: On Monday night, as Cowboys QB Tony Romo comes into the game in the second half, Tony Kornheiser says, "The backup is only a popular guy until he throws his first interception." Jo immediately counters with, "It would be awesome if he threw a pick right here."
          First play, Romo scrambles out to his right, throws a pass that deflects off a lineman and into the arms of a linebacker.
          Comedy, thy name is the Dallas QB controversy.