Fantasy football recap, week 5

---- Top performers
QB: Donovan McNabb, 30.26 points -- started by Ant
RB: Reggie Bush, 23.50 points -- started by Eric
WR: Lee Evans, 21.27 points -- started by Eric
TE: Antonio Gates, 12.67 points -- started by me
K: Robbie Gould, 19.00 points -- started by Neal
DEF: Jacksonville, 33.00 points -- sitting on my bench
          That’s the second week in a row Donovan was the top QB. More to come on that Jacksonville defense in a minute.

---- Worst performers, players we started edition
Third place: Chad Pennington, -1.42 points -- started by Neal
Second place: Buffalo, -2.00 points -- started by me
First place: New York Jets, -5.00 points -- started by Eric
          And that’s the second week in a row Eric started the worst defense in the league. Last week it was Tennessee with minus-6 for his squad

---- The Andy Reid blown call of the week award
          I should get this, since I decided at the last minute to bench Jacksonville's defense (33 points) in favor of Buffalo's (minus-2), but since I give out the award that's not gonna happen.
          So instead we'll award our first "Lifetime achievement blown call award" to T.O., who was so beautifully shown this weekend just how much nicer it is to have Donovan McNabb throw to you than Drew Bledsoe. Leaving Philadelphia was professional suicide for him (as opposed to ... well, you know.)
          A special shout out goes to Jeff, who has already picked up a lifetime achievement award in this category and still hasn't picked up a tight end to start.

---- Great stats from that Eagles game
** Cornerback Lito Sheppard had one fewer catch (two interceptions) than T.O. (three catches, 45 yards) and caught the only touchdown pass Drew Bledsoe threw all game, that 102-yard interception return.
** The Eagles have three 100-plus yard interception returns for touchdowns in team history. All three have come against Dallas.
** Remember those ridiculous projections I made a few weeks ago? Well, Donovan McNabb (1,604 passing yards so far) is on pace for 5,126 passing yards, which would break the single-season record of 5,084.
** Dallas is still winless when T.O. scores a touchdown (0-1 on the season.) It's getting easier each week to track this stat, since he ain't coming close to the end zone.

---- Most awesome thing I heard all week
          And just to beat this dead horse a little more, hopefully you didn’t miss this gem from Pam Oliver while interviewing Donovan after the Eagles game:
          “I know it wasn’t you versus T.O., but a fair amount of people saw it that way. So what was it like to send that guy out here looking crazy?”
          Looking crazy? Really? You get paid big bucks to interview folks and that’s what you came up with?
          If you want to hear it for yourself, here’s the link – it’s around the 40-second mark.

---- College football update
** I don't know why no one else made note of it, but this week Auburn coach Tommy Tuberville said the current college bowl game system is flawed, proclaimed that teams shouldn't be held hostage by the BCS and poll systems, and then promptly saw his 2nd-ranked Tigers lose to unranked Arkansas on Saturday. Way to jinx the team there, Tommy.
** The stinkin' good-for-nothing Blue Hens lost again this week, this time on a last second field goal against the Northeastern Nor'easters, or whatever the heck their mascot is. I'm too angry to actually look it up.
** Temple had their first lead of the season in their game against the Kent State Golden Flashes on Saturday, and nearly broke the impossible 20-point barrier in their 28-17 loss. It's the team's 18 loss in a row. They play 12th-ranked Clemson on Thursday, when they will be 44-point underdogs.
          Yes, that's six touchdowns and a safety. And I'm betting Clemson will be covering the spread by halftime.
** The Ursinus football team scored 16 unanswered second-half points to stun the Case Western Reserve Spartans 16-7 and stay undefeated on the season. The college football world is abuzz with the Baby Bears success, and this week Ursinus received one 25th-place vote in the Division III rankings, putting them on par with Minnesota powerhouse St. Olaf College.
          Watch out, Coe College of Iowa. That 25th-place D-III ranking isn't safe for long.

---- Cowboys anagram insult of the week
          Greg Ellis had a big play in that Eagles game this weekend, so let's look at what "Dallas Cowboys starting DE Gregory L. Ellis" has to tell about what exactly happened this weekend:
** Rattling D blows. Oily losers cry. Eagles glad. **
          Go ahead -– check it. That’s what it says.

---- Screwball stats that interest only me
** St. Louis is the only team in the league that still hasn't thrown an interception. They have a plus-12 turnover ratio already.
** Hotlanta hasn't allowed a passing touchdown this year.
** Detroit has more penalty yards so far this year (331) than rushing yards (298).
** The Eagles had 29 sacks in 16 games last year. In five games this year, they have 23.

---- For the record
** For the first time I can remember, every team favored to win by Vegas this week won. They didn't all cover the spread, but still ... that's pretty weird.
** Dad managed to tie up the annual picks contest, so we’re back to where we started. Usually he waits until around week 10 to catch up, then overtake me.
** Because I know you haven’t read enough of my ramblings yet, I’ve posted my first football column for the paper here -- just click on the picture to read it. If it comes up small, hold your cursor over it for a second and click the enlarge button that'll pop up in the lower right-hand corner.
          It ran in our Pacific editions today and was written when my editors asked for “something better than the game recaps we always run.”
          I still don’t know if this will be a weekly thing, a one-time thing, or an “Ohmigawd we have nothing for the sports section” thing, but we’ll see if I can finally turn all these stellar ideas into something profitable.